In which the pond surveys the reptile scene, then goes full Jimbo, scattering that hasty pastie to the winds ...

It was back to the future day at the Daily Zionist News ...

There was the usual coverage at the top of the page, including ...

Netanyahu vows to return all remaining hostages as Hamas promises four more
Israel is stepping up pressure on Hamas to release the bodies of the remaining 24 slain hostages as cracks appear in the fragile ceasefire.

PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST
Art of the peace deal: dust hasn’t settled in Gaza but Trump keen to crack Ukraine
Donald Trump has signalled a dramatic shift to ending the Russia-Ukraine war after brokering the Gaza hostage deal, but Hamas’s failure to return bodies threatens his Middle East peace plan.
By Cameron Stewart, Noah Yim and Richard Ferguson

All that did was remind the pond of Golding's assessment of the situation ...

The pond was also reminded of a yarn that appeared in Huff Post's daily rolling coverage and elsewhere ...

There were tweets to go with that ...

The back to the future bit? 

Over on the extreme far right there was strong evidence that if The Price Is Always Wrong, the Price is also Always Extremely Tedious ...

The voice would have divided us by race
The voice referendum’s rejection preserved Australian values but some Labor governments continue pushing similar agendas despite the clear ‘No’ vote.
By Jacinta Nampijinpa Price

Really? That's the best bit of forward-looking policy the Price can Manage?

Dame Slap tried to introduce a variant on bashing uppity, difficult blacks, not of The Price is Wrong kind, but the Voice still made it into the header...

Commentary by Janet Albrechtsen
Treaty, like voice, plays fast and loose with law
It beggars belief that issues with Victoria’s treaty bill have not been fully aired – and answered – before debate in parliament this week.

Yeah, that capital "V" keeps on getting lost ...

Also on the extreme far right there was an opportunity for some pearl clutching ...

Treasurer’s super tax loss weakens his political clout
Comebacks can never be ruled out in politics, but October 13 may yet be marked as the day Jim Chalmers’ leadership chances died.
By David Pearl

But what's the use of this grit in the oyster when the pond has already devoured a dozen thanks to Dame Groan's super coverage?

Best just deploy the infallible Pope for the day ...

Matchett purported an interest in science, a curiosity in a rag dedicated to climate science denialism ...

What unis could learn from our 88-year-old Nobel Prize winner
While Richard Robson’s win proves the value of curiosity-driven research, bureaucrats are demanding studies show instant results.
By Stephen Matchett

Of course Matchett was only intent on burying assorted reptile hatchets in universities, the usual easy point scoring.

What might the reptiles have learned from the Nobel Price winner? 

For starters, the hatching Matchett failed to mention one of the interesting aspects of the research, though it was covered in another place ...

...Robson’s co-laureates, Susumu Kitagawa and Omar Yaghi, found ways to stabilise the crystals, make them accurately and show that gases can flow in and out of them.
That advance is crucial. In Clayton, CSIRO has built a machine filled with kilograms of Robson’s crystals. The crystals have been selectively tuned to only absorb CO² from the air. The machine, called AirThena, uses solar power to flow air through the crystals, sucking out the planet-heating gas.
Absorbing CO² from the air is tricky because it is in relatively low concentrations. That’s why the crystals’ ability to absorb only the target molecule is so valuable, said Professor Matthew Hill, who worked on the device.

Oh never mind, keep on nuking the country to save the planet, though really it only needs saving from the zealots who cultivate the cult of climate science (or so the reptile scientists say).

And so on, and the pond was so bored by the reptile offerings, it decided to abandon thoughts of a late arvo post, and instead embark on a different gambit.

The reptiles were up to their old trick of recycling opinion as news ...

COALITION IN CRISIS
Farage-lite ‘the road to ruin’, top Liberal says
The Coalition needs to wrap up the apology tour and put a time limit on its soul-searching on issues like net zero and immigration, senior conservative senator James Paterson has declared.
By Sarah Ison

This was the showcase in the "news" section of the lizard Oz, and it was delicious, because Jimbo purported to be a blessed cheesemaker when in reaity he was slagging off assorted colleagues including the pastie Hastie, allegedly a feeble populist trying to do a Nige.

The pond has played fair by providing a link to the archive, wherein anyone can cut and paste the text to their heart's delight, while the pond reverted to its old time-honoured use of its Burroughs-referencing cut and paste technique (that might also defeat the bots that have been sampling reptile content in recent days) ...

It was excellent stuff, and the reptiles broke out Jimbo's insights into a panel, with the sort of one liners that could be understood by the hive mind, a bit like preparing a briefing for King Donald...

Delicious, especially that bit about the Victorianisation of Australia, sure to be a big help in winning Victorian seats ...with the bonus that promise to keep waging culture wars ...

This all being about division, the pastie Hastie made an appearance, as the culture wars raged on ...

Jimbo was making plans for Nigel, and also for the pastie Hastie ...

With the reptiles keen to promote division and stoke the infighting, there had to be room for the hasty pastie, a sort of Jimbo patsy for all that's wrong in the world ...

Excellent stuff.

There's nothing like the smell of a little Liberal napalm in the morning to get the pond's day off to a bright start ...

But why stop there? Why not dive into the oracular offerings over on the extreme far right, direct from the horse's mouth, or as they say, straight from the ass's backside ...

The pond realises that this involves much repetition, but that's the reptile way. Much like Animal Farm, the chanting of simple slogans is the way to penetrate the hive mind ...

The header: It’s time Liberals park the apology tour, end the sniping and uphold our values, The party faces serious intellectual and organisational challenges. We must learn how to campaign and communicate better. We have a moral duty to prevent the Victorianisation of Australia.

The caption: Opposition Leader Sussan Ley has myriad concerns with the Albanese government that she can prosecute. Picture: Martin Ollman

You see? Where Susssan didn't make a visual appearance in the "news" coverage, she was immediately dragged into the fight in Jimbo's piece - actually a speech transcript - and the pond's hopes for its lettuce wager surged mightily ...

Take it away Jimbo, let's get on with the feuding and the fussing ...

This is a serious moment for the Liberal Party, but it need not be an existential one. Right now, we face serious intellectual and organisational challenges. We must learn how to campaign and communicate better.
There is nothing defective with our values. We have just suffered our worst federal defeat in our 81-year history.
In the wake of that it is natural and healthy to undergo a period of self-examination and debate. We need to have these debates, and some of them will be necessarily public and contested. But that does not mean unity and discipline are not important. There is a time limit on this soul-searching process.
Already we can see the Albanese government has not gotten any better in their second term. It is particularly disturbing because Albanese is not above using the power of the state to entrench his party in power.
The Centre for Public Integrity has demonstrated that this government is the least transparent in 30 years, and that’s before the ­introduction of a retrograde FOI “reform” bill. This behaviour is more befitting of a petty despot than a democratic leader.
If you want to understand what the consequences of an entrenched, long-term Labor government looks like, just examine Victoria. We have a moral duty to prevent the Victorianisation of Australia.

Music to the pond's ears as the reptiles resorted to ancient lost icons, there being nothing like a man who lost his own seat as well as government, and a man who simply lacked the ticker ... The lack of a managed handover between Peter Costello and John Howard contributed to the 2007 election loss. Picture: Ray Strange

Helped by these ancient artefacts and unholy relics, Jimbo ploughed on ...

Even in these challenging times for our party, I remain optimistic. If we do our jobs well, I believe that not only can we compete at the next election, it is possible for us to win.
Political parties often misinterpret election wins. The Liberal Party certainly has.
In 2004 we ­secured a come-from-behind victory. But instead of realising it was primarily a rejection of the risk posed by Mark Latham, we thought it was a ringing endorsement of our then eight-year-old government.
We overreached on policy and we failed to renew. Instead of a managed handover to the next generation of conservative leadership between John Howard and Peter Costello, we stuck with what we knew and what had worked so well before.
There’s also a risk we misinterpret our election loss. It is right for us to be humble after a result like this. But just because we lost doesn’t mean we got everything wrong last term. I am immensely proud of the strong moral stand we took on anti-Semitism. I don’t think we lost a single vote on it. But if we did, I don’t care.
In my view, we must call time on the apology tour. It is now time to get on with the three critical tasks we must complete before the next election. First, resolve our internal differences about our direction amicably. Second, hold the Albanese government to account and expose its failings. And, third, develop a coherent and compelling alternative policy agenda.
The first of these is the hardest, and the most important. The challenges of our era are not the same as previous generations and a copy and paste policy and political agenda will fail. We should not be slavish adherents to the ideologies of philosophers of the 19th and 20th centuries. Nor should we be limited by the political strategies of the same era.

Just to help a little more, the reptiles reminded the world of another loser, In the aftermath of Peter Dutton’s election loss, it’s imperative that the party develop a coherent and compelling alternative policy agenda soon. Picture: Tracey Nearmy

Talk about nostalgia.

The pond shed a sentimental tear remembering his greatest hits ...

Enough already, back to Jimbo's great comedy stylings ...

The Liberal Party’s history wars can be at times tedious and tribal. It should be enough to accept that two of the Liberal Party’s greatest living historians, John Howard and George Brandis, each from the conservative and liberal ends of our philosophical spectrum, both agree that Menzies was an institutional conservative and a classical liberal.
Despite the economic and political success of Australian liberalism, there are some marginal voices arguing that the Liberal Party should split. They argue the differences between people who call themselves “conservatives” and “liberals” today are unbridgeable and we should go our separate ways. Our task is to make sure these voices remain marginal. Instead, we must seek to understand and incorporate the reasonable concerns of the good-faith actors on the right who today express dissatisfaction with the direction of the Liberal Party.
Some conservatives feel aggrieved that the post-Cold War liberal consensus damaged causes they care about: family, faith, nation, community. Their concerns are legitimate. Not everything about this era has been good.
A particular concern for today’s conservatives is the decline of manufacturing. Is it a grave national security threat that we no longer make fridges, washing machines or TVs? No. But in an era of strategic competition, our dependence on authoritarian powers for critical imports is a serious problem.
It is critical in resolving these debates that we avoid false choices. Two caricatures are often presented in the media about the alternative paths available to the party. The first is we should become a free market version of the teals, which accepts the cultural zeitgeist and contests no social agendas advanced by the left. Often we are told we should stop fighting the “culture wars”.
But this wouldn’t mean culture wars stop. It would just mean we pre-emptively surrender them to the left. If we followed this advice we would be left with a soulless, hollow party which spoke to only the narrowest material aspirations of Australians. We are also told we should simply sign up to whatever emissions reduction trajectory the government proposes. This would be a gross abrogation of our responsibility. These critics are not completely wrong: the economy must be at the heart of our pitch to ­modern Australia.

Jimbo managed the most important task - in both the "news" coverage and the straight from the horse's backside piece he scored a snap ... Senator James Paterson believes the Coalition must find issues that appeal to its base but does not turn off swinging voters. Picture: Martin Ollman

Then came a final gobbet, a hint perhaps that Jimbo didn't see eye to eye with the onion muncher and his worship of Nigel and the rest of the weird UK mob ...

There is a risk if we are seen to be preoccupied primarily by niche issues rather than the concerns of mainstream Australians. On the other hand, we are told that our ­future lies in a Farage-lite, populist conservative party which abandons our traditions on free markets and fiscal discipline in favour of a new nationalism of picking winners and turning our backs on free trade.
It remains to be seen whether Reform can continue their polling momentum all the way until the next scheduled UK general election in August 2029. I am unconvinced a platform of significantly increasing government spending, in a country where it is already 44 per cent of GDP, and there is a large budget deficit, is fiscally sustainable. Or, for that matter, particularly conservative.
But even if it would work politically in the UK, it doesn’t mean it would work in Australia. What Reform has achieved is the political destruction of the Conservative Party as we know it. A similar movement would have a similar political effect here. If the Liberal Party adopted a Labor-lite economic agenda it would be a disaster. If we are in a competition of who can best hand out public money with Labor, we will lose every time.
The alternative to these false choices is to maintain, and update the classical liberal-conservative fusion which has served us so well throughout our 81-year history.
We are no longer in the 1990s unipolar moment. We must reckon with the impact of geopolitics on markets, or we will be mercilessly picked off by authoritarian states. The best way we can do so is with a ruthless focus on competitiveness and productivity.
The other false choice we are often presented with is between our “base” and the “centre”. Yes, Australian elections are decided by swinging voters. The main game is to take votes, and seats, from the Labor Party. But our core supporters matter too. And they should not be taken for granted, as some have flippantly suggested.
Our task at this stage of the electoral cycle is to find issues which appeal to our base but do not turn off swinging voters. This is an easier task than many think. For example, symbols of our national identity are widely supported by Australians. Only the most extreme elements of the left seek to tear them down.
There is virtual consensus on the policy problems confronting us. We all agree immigration is too high. We all agree housing has become chronically unaffordable. We all agree young families are struggling to achieve the economic progress of previous generations. We all agree Labor’s approach to emissions reduction has smashed the energy market. We all agree the budget is unsustainable and spending too high.
We all agree our economy is not productive or competitive enough. We all agree we must do more to defend our country. There would be few Liberals today that would disagree with Tony Abbott’s invocation that we should be “the freedom party, the tradition party, and the patriot party”. It should not be beyond us to unite around these simple principles.
The Liberal Party will find its way out of the wilderness once we resolve our differences, unite behind our values, align our policies with them, and confidently argue the case to the Australian people.

You see? Talk about the artful dodger, as Jimbo artfully dodged any reference to climate change.

And marvel at how he dissed populists of the Nigel kind, while still trying to stay on board with the onion muncher, and never mind how Nige and the onion muncher are much loved at Sky Noise down under after dark ...(that's a YouTube link, no need to add to the paltry number of views, what with the message being a mindless ...

“Tony Abbott is a hero figure,” Mr Farage said. 
“What we look at is the way that Abbott did it.”

There's a lot of needle threading still to be done. Much has been done by Jimbo, but much remains to be done. So many needles, so much thread, so little time.

Finally credit where credit is due, and a special mention for anyone who remembers Tom Hughes ...

Senator James Paterson is the opposition finance spokesman. This is an edited version of his Tom Hughes Oration.

The pond rarely covers internal ructions and feuding pollies on either side, but this was too delicious and what a relief it was to break from the usual reptile diet of stewed Slap prunes and lemon Price bitterness ...

And so to close with the immortal Rowe taking the pond back to where the coverage began this day ...

 The pond is always up for a visual reference, the sort of road to conversion both Jimbo and Benji seem to be on, at least for the moment...