As this is the final day the pond will spend with the reptiles, it's worth recapping what confronted the pond at the start of the weekend ...
There it is in a nutshell ... "a virus of madness", and as always completely without any sense of irony or self-awareness.
The reptiles were bitten by the madness bug and spent relentless hours on the Lehrmann matter, in a way both vile and nauseating, down there with the virus of madness that afflicted Killer Creighton at the thought of vaccines and masks ...
The pond avoided the reptile viral madness as much as possible, suspecting that it was a way that the reptiles could carry on their war against the woke, MeToo, women, feminism, and so on, with that card-carrying womyn hater, the full of self-loathing, self-flagellating Percy Grainger-style Dame Slap as the main source of the viral madness.. and so given umpteen red cards by the pond ...
Now's not the time to start on all that, so the pond did its usual rounds, starting with the top of the digital edition ...
The pond has already done the dog botherer, but down below there was nattering "Ned" and the pond immediately knew that would be the Sunday Everest to climb ...
Alongside "Ned" was another reptile obsession - Aboriginal art - that almost matched the reptiles' contribution to the wanton destruction of the Voice, and again routinely red carded by the pond ... and now is certainly not the time to start on all that ...
The pond held out a faint hope that as a parting Xmas gift, prattling Polonius might have decided on an early mark, and gone off to enjoy a port with his Xmas pud, but no such luck ...
At another time, the pond might have had fun doing a cut and paste of Catriona up against Dame Groan groaning about migrants and the housing crisis, but not in this holyday season...
As for prattling Polonius, there was no avoiding it. When your only alternative is to spend time with the oscillating fan - something the pond rarely does - or be sharma'd by Dave, traditional Sunday suffering on a wheel of torment with molten tears of lead is the pond's fate ...
Astonishing really, how Polonius routinely manages to bring Ming the Merciless into the conversation.
Amazing also that he should, in his own antiquity, think memories of Ben Chifley should be uppermost in mind ... though the pond is pleased to note that the cafe where Chif stopped for a meal down Gundagai way is back in business ...
As for the mention of Julia, all that did was bring back bad memories of the old days, and of the parrot and chaff bags and such like ...
Whenever the pond is in prattling Polonius's company, the pond has this unnerving feeling of living in the past ...
This year's unseemly reptile business is well ended.
My liege, and madam, to expostulate
What majesty should be, what duty is,
Why day is day, night is night, and time is time.
Were nothing but to waste night, day, and time.
Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
I will be brief. Your noble reptiles are mad.
Stark, staring bonkers...
In short, 2011 ...
One thing's certain - Hamas hasn't been wiped out, and a new generation of radicalised people has been created, and then there's Israel is losing the war against Hamas - but Netanyahu and his government will never admit it ... inter alia ..
And so on, but there's never been a reptile who hasn't loved a war, provided it's being fought from his armchair, and Polonius is no exception ...
Meanwhile, the pond had already published the thoughts of a real, if former, general ...
Well yes, but enough already, and it's on to the "Ned" Everest ...
Thankfully this will be the last time that the pond will have to mention the appalling decline of the lizard Oz graphics department ...
That's a shockingly awful montage or collage or whatever ...
The pond keeps on cracking jokes about the interns lacking even basis Photoshop skills, but that's a truly low rent effort.
The pond is used to superior graphics of the kind you can find at The New Yorker ... even if they do get a little weird at times ...
Don't ask what that's all about, let's just get on with Chicken Little "Ned" shouting at clouds in his usual way...
The pond understands the shattered lizard Oz graphics department dilemma. Any apocalyptic outing by "Ned" turns out to be as boring as batshit, featuring bizarre conjunctions and invocations such as "age of polycrisis" ...
But they're no real help. Look at all the snaps they flung together to help "Ned" with his apocalyptic rant ...
None of them could distract from the pond's sense that once again it was in the company of a monstrous Chicken Little racing about like a headless chook in the backyard ...
And that was the end of any visual relief.
Here the pond must also note another grievance.
Scattered through "Ned's" piece you'll see various hot links, but these are fool's gold ...
The pond checked each of those hot links. They each led to another story in the lizard Oz.
Once you go down the rabbit hole, you're stuck there. The hive mind doesn't allow anyone to leave the hive mind ...
Did the pond ever think it would be quoting Hotel California at end of year?
Mirrors on the ceiling
The pink champagne on ice
And she said, "We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device"
And in the master's chambers
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives
But they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember
I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax, " said nattering "Ned"
"We are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave!"
And so there's no need to worry about the hot links. They just take you to another room in the reptile hive, and in it is a never-ending hall of mirrors, reptile reflecting reptile reflecting reptile ...
The pond supposes it could attempt a comment or two, but what can you make of an aged loon, who interprets "Western liberalism" as being opposed to liberal qualities such as diversity, inclusion, and rights for all ...
But the pond has been down this rabbit hole too many times, and while you might stab at it with steely words, you just can't kill the beast or its Chicken Little hysteria ...
Okay, you've got to laugh. Who else but "Ned" could type with a straight face "The polycrisis term has a real utility, because it's arm-waving."
Sure he borrowed it from someone else, but "Ned" has always been a bird dressed in borrowed plumage, all so he can pretend he's not drowning, he's just doing some splendid arm-waving ...
But to what avail all this arm-waving?
The pond is astonished that the reptiles still allow this mad uncle out of the attic, so he can come down to the kitchen table and begin ranting about vulgar youff and such like ...
It becomes totally absurd and beyond the valley of the bizarre when the crazy uncle begins ranting about "the quest for a meaningful life."
Apparently what young people should be aiming for, in the short time allotted to them on the planet, is a completely meaningless, empty and hollow life, of the kind ranting in the lizard Oz routinely produces ...
That metaphor of the mad uncle, or perhaps gramps, ranting at the kitchen table simply won't leave the pond ...
The trouble, of course, is that vulgar youff always wins in the end, even if in the process they too become dotards ranting at the clouds ...
Around this point - perhaps it was the blather about "pivotal point in history", when we should always be pivoting - the pond realised that what was lacking was a little Xmas cheer for vulgar youff ...
It was with great relief that the pond realised it had filibustered its way to the final "Ned" gobbet ...
At last something the pond and "Ned" can agree on.
As a member of the Murdochian 'leet, this aged reptile ranter, well into his dotage, but allegedly with some power and influence, has turned in a truly dismal and dire performance this year, such that readers of the pond simply walk away ... even when given a chance to join him in his shouting at clouds for free ...
The long absent lord alone knows what the aged reptile readership makes of his efforts. Do they take it seriously? Do they nod in agreement, and let out with a sigh, "so wise, so insightful, so much arm-waving wisdom."
Sorry, reptile readership, he isn't doing his job, he isn't serving any purpose, he should simply do a David Stratton, walk away, retire, head off to his attic and then only emerge occasionally to rant at anyone he can find at the kitchen table ...
Meanwhile, it's Xmas in Gaza, and the pond couldn't resist another reminder or two...
No bagging of the ABC from Polonius this week? Perhaps there is a Santa Claus.
ReplyDeleteNaah, it's but the visible effect of his increasing age-impairment, just like Neddy.
DeletePerhaps Polonius is suffering from burnout.
DeleteNicely spotted. If not burnout, perhaps too much seasonal cheer?
DeleteThe armchair corporal, Henderson, giving advice on military matters. Not sure what his qualifications are. Doubt if he’s fought in a war or even done national service either.
ReplyDeleteHenderson argument hinges on the idea that if we once supported one military request of our allies, we should support any military request into the present and future.
But Henderson produced some festive chortles with his suggestion Tony Abbott, Turnbull or Morrison did anything to further relations in our region. Not unless expanding the British class system to Australia by awarding knighthoods or having your immigration minister give a sneering joke about Pacific nations sinking into the ocean or antagonising China and deporting ex-criminals to New Zealand were somehow strengthening furthering regional relations.
Perhaps Hendo has the same excuse as Dick Chaney for avoiding military service - “I had other priorities”.
DeleteSo, Noodlenuts Ned: "...a presidential contest between an age-impaired Joe Biden and a destructive narcissist, Donald Trump". Now that's just not quite right, here, let me fix it: "...and an even more age-impaired destructive narcissist, Donald Trump." Yair, that's more like reality now.
ReplyDeleteThen again: "...what can you make of an aged loon, who interprets "Western liberalism" as being opposed to liberal qualities such as diversity, inclusion, and rights for all...". Well of that particular age-impaired loon, I'd take it that though he's a Liberal, he's never been a liberal.
But then: [Albanese's government] is plagued by high interest rates, cost-of-living pressures, a per capita income recession, housing unaffordability, high power prices and a range of security dilemmas." And to think, Albanese and his lot managed to create all of that in their first year of government. But never mind, in less than 18 months we can all vote the Coalition back for another decade or more of Abbott-Turnbull-Morrison style Prime Minister(s) and they'll fix all of our problems likety-split.
But here's some knowledgeable Ned wisdom: "The grave risk for Albanese ... is ... being reduced to the doom of minority government." Could we perhaps be reminded of the accomplishments of the Gillard minority government ? In the matter of passing legislation - one of the primary actions of governments, we have:
"Julia Gillard had the highest rate of passing legislation with a rate of 0.495, followed by Bob Hawke at 0.491:
Malcolm Fraser was the highest-ranked liberal party prime minister on the list, at 0.481."
Was Julia Gillard the most productive prime minister in Australia's history?
https://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2013/jun/28/australia-productive-prime-minister
And could we just remind ourselves that the fate of the only true majority government in more or less recent times - a majority in both Reps and Senate - was the Howard government that lost office in a landslide that even cost Howard his own 'safe' seat. So much for 'majority' government.
However, never mind, Neddy puts us all at ease with his pronouncement that: "In truth, the answers will be long term. They will require sacrifices...". But then, what doesn't ?
Thanks for the critique across the year, and warm memories. Enjoy your festive season.
ReplyDeleteNed… - why?
ReplyDeleteWhy does he do it. Why does he continue to churn out these turgid, increasingly lengthy, primal screams?
The specific subject matter vary somewhat from column to column, but the formula is essentially the same. Our society faces a crisis. The world faces multiple crises. Everywhere, Western Civilisation (tm) is beset by the forces of darkness. Leaders face challenges - endless challenges. ‘Leets cannot be relied upon and indeed, are an existential threat to all that is great and good in the world, and vulgar yoof deserve to go to the hell in which they refuse to believe. We are teetering on the edge of a yawning chasm of doom, yet Reptile-approved thought is ignored or derided. And so on and on and on and on…….. and then next time, the same mixture is served up yet again.
So why does Ned do it? Yes, there’s the money, but surely he’s be eligible for the pension by now. Is it ego, pompous self-belief in his own wisdom? Though oddly, he seems incapable of getting down to specifics, or suggesting any actual solutions. Or is it simply that after decades of this stuff, Ned lacks anything else that give meaning to his life? Whatever the reasons, we can be certain that while the end of the world as we know it is imminent, Ned will continue to bleat prophecies regarding that doom year after year.
The scales suddenly fell from the pond's eyes and it became clear why he does it.
DeleteIt's designed to provoke a very funny takedown, which made the pond seethe and go green with envy at not having the wit to TM "Western Civilisation" and charge the reptiles a daily stipend for its use ...
Anonymous - why does Ned? One thought is good ole 'relevance deprivation syndrome' - or whatever term has superseded that. That is - for Ned - 'I see my name flying from the Flagship, therefore I am'. John Quiggin's recent partial praise for ChatGTP offers the hope that we might see a byline next year for 'Poul Keely' with no need for a title (Ned seems not to have one for this weekend) but of sharper focus, better written, and not showing that distressing nascent concern for 'climate' that has slipped into this column.
DeleteWhile I am here - Dorothy, so pleased you managed to get out of the rabbit hole. Please do kick back, relax, commune with nature. We would hope you might return, but not at any risk to your emotional health.
Might I also list a 'Hi' to Jersey Mike, hope you keep well, and find some happiness about you.
Why does Ned do it ? Apart from the money that is - does anybody know if he's paid more or less or the same as Dame Groan ? - but if you take a look at the site introduced by Nearly Normal below, viz americanloons.blogspot.com you'll be introduced, if you want to be, to a very large number of personages who show Ned to be the very amateurish agitproper that he really is. A lot like a junior school Winston Smith, actually: constantly making up bullshat nonsense to substitute for brutal reality.
DeleteAnd apart from that, yes, seasons greetings and such to JM and his mates.
DeleteIs Kelly saying AI might become the new elite? Looking forward to the reptiles taking on the new elite.
ReplyDeleteKelly trembles at “the sheer scale of the task ahead”? Kelly almost realizes the scale of the task when he says “ The Coalition still suffers from the structural problem of the last election when it lost its prized blue-ribbon seats to the teals.” But he fails to recognise that the Coalition’s response to this has not been to change on the issues that got the teals elected, but to double-down on some of them and actually go backwards after the Coalition agreed to zero emissions by 2050, with a former Liberal PM - Tony Abbott - just the other day scribbling about “a speculative rise in temperature, decades hence, even though the planet has previously been much hotter, and much colder, without any contribution from human CO2.” Do the Liberals think this will win back the voters who went teal? The “grave risk” isn’t to Albanese, it’s to the Coalition entrenching the teals in once blue-ribbon Liberal seats, because heck, the leftie virus might spread from there to the outer suburbs!
Globalisation was a jewel of the twentieth century? I seem to recall the reptiles at one stage going along with the Hanson line that globalisation had heaped misery on us all.
The international order is fragmenting? Haven’t the reptiles supported the idea of defying international agreements, conventions, and the United Nations, which was set up to provide some form of international order? Didn’t the Nationals’ Pitt withdraw from the ministry in opposition to then government signing the Paris Agreement?
Nationalism is on the march? Not long ago the onion muncher was pushing for patriotic nationalism as the foundation of government in the pages of The Australian.
But I was mesmerized by Kelly scribbling: “the obsession about individual fulfilment”. The pure essence of the Coalition’s philosophy - and oft reinforced by the reptiles - has been the individual and individual rights and freedoms. The Coalition’s mantra on policy issues is to persuade voters on the basis of “what’s in it for me”: “it’s your money”, the aspirational voter, the elite versus you, the asylum seeker versus you and on it goes.
Kelly promotes the lie that being true to oneself equates with narcissism as if being false would be better. Beware the false smile of the reptile.
I was going to write a note about Ned and the people he quotes,referencing C E M Joad and his phrase "it all depends on what you mean by.." (Rabbi Sacks and his 'shared morality'? WTF??) but really, the only sensible comment about them is, mad as a hatful of ahs-holes.
ReplyDeleteThanks DP for an illuminating year, and thanks also to the wise commenters.
As usual neddles displays his "religious" and cultural provincialism when he claims that it is only the "West" that is threatened. What about the rest of the world too, the majority of which are not in any sense Western. Seems as though he has forgotten the world wide cultural devastation caused by the two World Wars.
ReplyDeleteGotta larf when reptiles carry on about "transcendental moral warnings or values". The second last image that you posted vividly describes the real values of the West including Israel, especially as they are now being applied to the Palestinians.
The use of the atomic bomb against Japan was also very much an in-your-face demonstration of the Wests "transcendental values"
A bit off topic but still very much related to the subject of toxic loons. John Anderson now features an interview with an all-American loon, namely Nancy Pearcey whose first book was titled Total Truth http://americanloons.blogspot.com2014/04/1020-nancy-pearcey.html
ReplyDeleteSmall correction: http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2014/04/1020-nancy-pearcey.html
DeleteOh, quelle domage:
ReplyDeleteUS band Dixie Chicks ‘shocked and saddened’ by death of co-founder Laura Lynch
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2023/dec/23/dixie-chicks-laura-lynch-car-crash
This one features her replacement Natalie Maines:
https://youtu.be/pojL_35QlSI
As does this one:
https://youtu.be/8F4MYJIC1sU
West. They can't even fathom iron and magnetism.
ReplyDeleteReptiles only know their direction.
Pity they don't have a learning switch like T2.