In which the pond has a quiet day, with only a little onion munching on the menu ...

 

Every so often the pond opts for a quiet day, and the naked racism on parade in the petulant Peta splash was enough to deter the pond from going there and disturbing its day ...

The only value in the petulant outburst? To allow the pond to show off another immortal Rowe variant ...

The same sense of "nothing to see here" happened when the pond looked below the fold ...

Both the bouffant one and simplistic Simon on the voice, and after petulant Peta's splash, simpleton Simon - no conflict of interest there - had the cheek to talk of confusion?

It was too much for the pond, or even a koala, to bear, while the talk of Presidential follies merely showed why the pond would be better off reading another rag.

But needs must, and the pond is in the business of charting the decline and fall of the lizard Oz, and what better example to hand than the reptiles recycling the onion muncher, and not in the interests of comedy, but apparently to offer serious talking points, though as soon as the headline mentioned "core values", the pond immediately jumped to the obvious ...

Ah, the Tonysaurus, roaming a desolate land and devouring the very last green shoot ... there was a time, and in geological terms, it seems that time still lives on in the lizard Oz ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, it's pathetic stuff, and even worse, the reptile graphics department continued its dramatic decline with an epic attempt at a troll that merely looked like a snap of a couple of exhibits in a waxworks show ...

Why did the reptiles recycle this outing? Apparently they haven't got the money to commission anything interesting, so must run with nostalgia and the dregs of times past ...

Still whining about the 2014 budget, and evoking the ghost of Petey boy? Naturally the graphics department took it as a cue for a huge snap, and the pond took it as being in desperate need of a downsizing ...

Could it get any sillier? Relax, it's a man on a mission to do a Boris, still desperate for attention ... and speaking of Boris, after sitting through PMQs and talk of a mortgage crisis in the UK, John Crace had a tidy opener in his column ...

It was just after Rishi Sunak had answered Stephen Flynn’s first question that the speaker intervened. The SNP leader in Westminster had merely wondered if some of the prime minister’s promises to fix the economy showed that he had been taking honesty lessons from Boris Johnson. This was too much for Lindsay Hoyle. He urged MPs to be more cautious in their use of language. There was a danger that people might think Flynn was accusing the prime minister of deliberately misleading parliament.

So there we had it. A new precedent. No one can now compare another MP to Boris Johnson, because to do so is to accuse them of lying. Spare a thought for Jacob Rees-Mogg. Or Jake Berry. Now officially banned from being mentioned in the same breath as their hero. From now on, “to do a Johnson” is officially translated in Hansard as “to habitually tell lies”.

Of course to do an onion muncher is to don small togs, show off chest hair, hop on a bike, turn full MAMIL, eat an onion, and tell lies about the present and the past ...

John Hewson? Yes, the onion muncher actually went there, and naturally the reptiles offered another huge snap ... with modesty requiring that it be trimmed, lest someone ask about the pricing of birthday cakes ...

But what did Hewson say of the onion muncher?

Much has been made of Tony Abbott's loyalty to his colleagues but he was also disloyal to others, former opposition leader John Hewson says.

Dr Hewson said Mr Abbott had stood by former speaker Bronwyn Bishop and his chief of staff Peta Credlin.

"I suffered from his disloyalty because he was a constant channel from my office to John Howard," he told ABC Television.

Dr Hewson, leader of the opposition from 1990 until 1994 when he was toppled by Alexander Downer, said Mr Abbott was an incredibly focused and determined opposition leader.

He said that was where Ms Credlin was very good because she kept him on track.

"He did go down in history as probably the most effective leader of the opposition in the sense that he made negativity an art form, but from the point of view of good government and reform processes and so on, it was a pretty disastrous period," he said. (Just a short burst here).

At least it saves the pond from finding something to say ... instead here's a little more from a pretty disastrous man ...

Ah, the Tonysaurus strikes again ... evoking memories of his glory days, with John Hewson out and about way back in August 2018  ... calling for Malware and comrade Bill to unite and silence the onion muncher ...

In a political street fight you’d certainly want Tony Abbott on your side, rather than against you. He is the champion of the negative. While he could, and should, have been a real asset to Malcolm Turnbull, he has been totally counterproductive. Ignore all he says and does. He is just for Abbott, hoping to return to the leadership by destroying Turnbull.

Abbott has not been driven by evidence-based policy, or even ideology, nor a desire to support better government, but simply by a desire to undermine Turnbull, to get even with him for taking the leadership. He seizes every opportunity to do this.

For example, having lost decisively at this week’s party meeting, he and a few of his easily misled mates now threaten to cross the floor when the NEG legislation is put to a vote. This is not a matter of principle. It is cold, calculated, disunity – hang the electoral consequences.

Given he has held so many positions on climate over the years, Abbott’s claim to support a genuine policy alternative to the NEG is about as believable as his commitment on losing to Turnbull that “there will be no wrecking, no undermining, and no sniping. I've never leaked or backgrounded against anyone. And I certainly won't start now."

Sadly no one can silence the onion muncher, champion of the negative, professional wrecker, underminer and sniper, leaker and liar about the leaking, and now it's time to reveal the source of this desperate reptile recycling ...

Ah Connor Court, you've done it again, and turned out that even the reptiles could only take so much, and had decided that they needed to edit the offering, but it was more than enough for a quiet day on the pond ...

And so to the immortal Rowe in full ...

For anyone wanting an alternative, why not Daniel Block in The Atlantic, Indian Dissidents Have Had It With America Praising Modi ...

A sample to be kept on hand for when the bromancer returns to celebrate ...

And speaking of dinosaurs, a final cartoon, because the pond will always celebrate dinosaurs and the reptiles of the lizard Oz ...