Last night the pond wasted precious time watching PMQs, a peculiar mix of obsequious questions, a couple of evictions, and Keir Starmer flailing away at a self-satisfied narcissist ...
Then the pond woke to news of a heat wave and fires in Portugal and a drought in the Po valley, and realised it was time for another snap of threatening windmills, perhaps sinister solar panels, atop a splendid groaning.
Imagine the pond's dismay ... instead of satanic mills, the reptiles offered the pond a snap of a disturbing Chalmers, being allowed little leeway by the groaning ...
Was it only a few months ago that every reptile under the sun was telling the pond that things were in tip top shape, and would be even more spiffing if SloMo's tribe was on hand to lead the pond to the promised land? And now Dame Groan was groaning that everything was deeply, profoundly rooted?
The pond wondered if it had made a mistake, landing in the middle of this groaning ... but then looked at the alternatives ...
No, no, better to stay firm on the promise to avoid petulant Peta, suddenly petulant about women in the Liberal party. Might as well be petulant about women in the Catholic church ...
And the tree killer edition and the commentary section featured a new reptile war on the greenies, led by comrade Milner ...
By golly, it was grim stuff, with comrade Milner and the lizard Oz editorialist at one ... as you might expect of a Queensland comrade - but it meant that the pond had to stay the groaning course with the deeply gloomy groaner ...
It was damned inconvenient, all these people getting disabilities simply to inconvenience the budget and the groaning ... it was so bad that the Groaner only had the chance to make a passing reference to the cost of all those damned windmills and solar panels and climate change ... (no, no, not the cost of the droughts and the heatwaves and the floods, yadda yadda, the cost of doing anything about them) ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, not a tax on the rich. It was the worst of all worlds, and you could see why the groaning had turned to a gibbering about all the SWOTs, with only the Ts getting a nod ... and all the pond could do was mourn a lost opportunity to make a joke about the climate ...
Pixie dust not enough? Well there's always Killer being a killer comic, wrapping up the set ...
What else? Well the Killer was on the loose, and was in a Killer comedic frame of mind ... and sure enough Lenny Bruce quavered in his boots, or at least whoever assembles the Reader's Digest jokes ...
Yes, yes, there's nothing so funny as abortion, or gun massacres, or distracting from the other comedies afoot, a little closer to the News Corp Faux Noise home ...
But back to Killer having a killing time ...
Indeed, indeed, but the pond is still catching up with those hearings that failed to make Killer's comedic cut ...
And there's nothing like those massacres for a bundle of laughs ...
But then came the Killer's mockery of a News Corp hero ... surely a step too far ... surely that's best left to the cartoonists ...
Yes, yes, there's nothing like a planet fucked to get the pond rolling the jaffas down the aisles ... except perhaps the sight of the Killer still in Covid denial, and in a panic attack because of all the masks, and so suffering a sledgehammer to his well being ...
And that's all the pond needs as a segue to the lizard Oz editorialist ...
Yes, those who've had it and had a rough time, and are terrified of catching another dose aren't as cheerful as Killer and the lizard Oz editorialist ... let alone those who've yet to catch what can be a very rough ride ...
And yet in the world of the reptiles, it's on with the charge of the Murdochian brigade ... albeit with a classic billy goat butt opening to the final gobbet ...
You know, it might be serious, but carry on laughing with Killer ... why the fatality rate is just a fleabite, and never you mind if you win that lottery, the reptiles will just carry on ...
Morrison? Morrison? That name rings a bell. Is Morrison still a thing?
And as the pond has landed in Canberra among the cardigan wearers, why not close with an infallible Pope, doing his best to reassure the Groaner that all is well, and it's time for some Killer Reader's Digest thinking ... because laughter is the best medicine when things are truly fucked ...
Mr Ed: "Labor shiuld strive for good policy that can find bipartisan support." So Labor should reduce its policy to an "intelligence" level that the Mutt Dutt can support ? Yeah, that'd be a real winner.
ReplyDeleteOn Mad Matt's $700bn 7500 battery 1000GWhr Victorian "renewable drought" scare
ReplyDeleteNo Matt baby, the batteries get charged by solar in day and wind overnight so in a week
they get cycled 14 times which brings it down to $50bn 535 batteries 70GWhr for starters
and that's without retiring the 3GW of 24/7 load needed to stabilize the coal fired stations.
It turns out that 10GW of PV, 5GW of Solar Thermal, 15GW of wind turbine, and 20GWhr
of batteries is enough to replace a 15GW coal-fired system and that's just 150 batteries
at a cost of $15bn.
Well Dame Groan certainly justified her pay packet (?bank transfer?) this day, didn't she? How to discuss the next budget? Rake up some numbers - mainly guesses - from the previous budget, insert comment about all the benefits of hindsight - the circumstances in which her predictions work best - add a few more speculations that some things might get better, some worse - rinse, repeat. Absolute doddle, but it requires higher degrees in some or other area of economics, and deep personal knowledge of 'business', to pull it off with panache.
ReplyDeleteI suppose she had reached her quota of words for this day, so did not need to add common reptile lashing of New Zealand's economy, which, according to the mediocrities who were once hopeful of establishing 'conservative' administration in that country, and are now fodder for 'Sky' - is an imminent disaster, because - Jacinda.
All very good pointers for how to become a highly 'rewarded' reptile, Chad: writing a lot of words that signify nothing - and not even a hint of sound and fury to go with them. Plenty of idiots, though.
DeleteTo a suck like the killer
ReplyDeleteTrump's term was the pillar
Of a presidency oozing with mirth
So if to mock and to sneer
Is to somehow spread cheer
Then Trump was the best clown on earth
KillerC is just jealous of the attention given to others because nobody will ever think it's worth commenting on his very many faux pas, on indeed on anything he ever says or does.
DeleteHo, Ho, Ho - President Joe allegedly confused the words “Presidency” and “pregnancy” - that surely justifies joking about a ten year old rape victim, Killer…
ReplyDeleteI’m obviously not following the right media feeds either - unlike the Killer, I haven’t been bombarded with images Hunter Biden smoking crack either with or without prostitutes. Nor have I ever seen evidence of Kamala Harris’ skill in mimicking Inspector Clouseau.
Look, I’m as big a fan of obsolete humour as the next person - I can’t resist an Eric Jolliffe collection - but I fear that a lot of the humour that tickles the Killer’s fancy originated from either Brietbart or the voices in his head - whichever is the more divorced from reality.