In which the bromancer sets a cracking BoJo pace, the dog botherer gets into virtue signalling in his virtuous way, and our Gracie rediscovers her mojo, and refuses to take a break ...

 

Before beginning today's proceedings, Madame Chair, the pond would like to note a splendid rant by the keen Keane, in relation to the matter of Bernard Collaery (paywall) ...

….he and his legal team fought the efforts of Christian Porter and Michaelia Cash to prosecute him in secret, to use secret information against him, to block his efforts to defend himself — even to the extent of trying to prevent him from choosing his own lawyers.

The conduct of Porter and Cash and their lawyers — which amounted to a complete trashing of the requirement that the Commonwealth be a model litigant — was deeply shameful, even by the grubby standards of the Morrison government, and debauched the office of the “first law officer of the land”.

Along the way, Witness K — who has served his country in ways that a privileged man-child like Christian Porter couldn’t begin to comprehend — hit the fence. Exhausted, ageing, he pleaded guilty and received a short suspended sentence, a deeply offensive outcome even in its tokenistic nature.

All to persecute a man who dared reveal just how vilely and corruptly the Howard government had acted toward the fledgling state of Timor-Leste. That, despite Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus’ welcome decision yesterday, remains unfinished business. Some of the perpetrators of the bugging — David Irvine, Ashton Calvert — have died. Others remain — inexplicably — in good public standing in Australia.

Unlike Collaery and K, they deserve to be in the dock, accounting for themselves. In public.

John Howard and Alexander Downer need to be in the dock, explaining who initiated the plan, who approved it, and for what reasons. Downer can additionally explain what role it played in his later decision to take a job with Woodside, the chief beneficiary of the bugging.

Their advisers, too — Josh Frydenberg, adviser to both Downer and Howard at the time. Former MP Dave Sharma, Downer’s legal adviser. Charles Goode and Don Voelte, then at Woodside. Margaret Twomey, then ambassador to Dili…

The keen Keane goes on to name and shame more in the whole sordid, insufferable Star Chamber affair, but a final flourish reminded the pond why the regular study of reptiles led to a blinkered, deprived, depraved existence ...

...As for the media, its performance was woeful. The ABC’s Elizabeth Byrne skilfully covered the trial in Canberra. Guardian Australia’s Christopher Knaus provided detailed coverage and expertly pointed out the absurdities of the case. But few other journalists showed significant interest. The press gallery, in particular, virtually ignored it.

This was Australia’s Watergate — a moment of egregious misconduct and cover-up that revealed profound corruption at the highest levels of politics and the bureaucracy, a scandal playing out right before their eyes. And most of them closed those eyes to it, either intimidated by the constant lies about national security from the government or, worse, deeming the matter unimportant.

Well yes, but the pond is on the reptile beat, and you can't expect the reptiles to deal with rampant injustice ...they're busy making sure their own fixes are in ...

And speaking of a man with his eyes wide closed, the bromancer continued his Boris musings today, to add to the pond's sense of endless entertainment, what with a couple of presentations by that committee about the mango Mussolini promised for next week. 

In the meantime, carry on bromancer, carrying on about Boris ...

Ended up? He's always been a notorious liar, a fraud, and a shambolic faker, but when it comes to finding redemption, he could always rely on the likes of a bromancer, always ready to do the Catholic thing, offer a chance for a confession, a few prayers on the rosary and then back to the fornicating, not to mention the fucking of the country.

Not happening to live in that unhappy country, now truly up the spout, that's why the pond finds this all vastly entertaining ...

Boris at his best offered strength and agility? The pond wants what the bromancer is taking, and it's probably more than a toke, more like something that would come on a tab, with hallucinatory powers ...

Ah yes, the good things. The pond was wondering when the bromancer might get on to that, and the pond might then turn to a Scot for aa comment, and an assessment of the legacy in full  ...

Back to the bromancer, with a fantastical listicle ...

A reference to Men at Work was impossibly complicated and clever? And there was the pond thinking that the burly Burley reciting a Boris shopping list was funny ...

Luckily The Independent had the same details here ...

Five hundred pounds for a table cloth! Now that's genuinely witty, in a Roman emperor sort of way ... and then came this story ...

This might be the first time the pond has linked to the Daily Mirror - the pond is still grieving the loss of the local Daily Mirror, which provided the pond with late arvo tabloid reading in its Tamworth years - but that British Mirror has done a good job exposing the excesses of the foolish fop and his many fripperies ...

Now back tot he bromancer, still entranced by the spectacle of a Wodehouse character ...

So the reptiles have resorted to click bait videos, and the pond must neuter them and instead resort to another front page?

Lie after lie after lie ... and afterwards, the mingled love and perplexity of the bromancer ...

The pond can't begin to count the number of cartoons to hand about levelling up and Brexit opportunities with the Moggster ... a moggy for our times ...

But all good things must come to an end, and so it is with the bromancer's piece and Boris's reign (perhaps) ...

Indeed, indeed, and with that another celebratory Rowson, with more celebrations here ....

And now to the dog botherer and the usual serve of climate science denialism. The pond acknowledges the bromancer for offering his own short course in the benefits of denialism, but as always, he's no match for the dog botherer when it comes to hysteria ...

The pond used to take the dog botherer's frothing and foaming seriously, and attempted to point out unprecedented events, but based on precedent, there's no point, and instead the pond now settles back to enjoy the dog botherer's climate change narrative ... what with the planet being steadily and comprehensively fucked, what else is there to do?

Poor old Pitman, he really doesn't know if he's coming or going, or caught in a drought or a flood, but the short term memory loss is perhaps the real worry ...

Still, he's loved by the dog botherer, and reptile love is something to relish, and who is the pond to care if one day extreme rain is becoming more extreme due to global warming, and the next day it isn't, until possibly the next day it is ...

Now back to the flood of ideas from the dog botherer ...

Fearmongering about fearmongering is a dog botherer staple, but the pond was genuinely distressed that there had only been the usual alarmist talk of alarmists, when surely this was a case for "virtue signalling."

Relax, the dog botherer had the verbiage well in hand, and here it came, yet again, perhaps for the umpteenth time ... and then the dog botherer will be able to get on to another pet reptile theme, Covid denialism ...

Um, was it only yesterday that our Henry was trying to expose the bullshit of the Caterist? And yet here, the very next day is more bullshit, requiring the hole in the bucket man's immediate, urgent attention ... because thar she blows, with the notion that being vaccinated is about halting the virus, so much as reducing its severity and keeping the impact on hospitals to a sustainable level, and along with vaccines, masks are also a useful tool, so you can guess where the dog botherer goes on that one, right into Killer Creighton's killing fields camp ...

That build an ark line passes for dog botherer wit, but really he should have made a joke about a clapped-out zombie if he wanted to win the bromancer's heart ...

And so to the bonus for the day, and the pond must confess to failing its own test. Both the bromancer and the dog botherer had been very long, and the pond simply lacked the strength, the heart, to tackle the Everest known as nattering "Ned" ...

Instead it was pleased to discover that our Gracie had recovered and remembered who she was scribbling for, and had returned to the feisty Gracie of old, with a savaging of vulgar youff ... always wanting to live on easy street ...

Damn you, damn you vulgar youff. This is how you carry on, when you might get a decent, dinkum job, scribbling for the lizard Oz, or perhaps helping out the Supreme Court ...

Sorry, sorry, the pond just wanted to suggest that Gracie was heading in the right direction, by giving these bloody useless vulgar youffs a right good, almost royal, whacking ...

Was that sticky on a keyboard a Freudian message from a reptile sub-editor, forced day after day to deal with the likes of the bromancer and the dog botherer?

Was there a hint that the sub might like to ditch his mouse and his keyboard, and take a good long holyday, go on leave for yonks, but alas was still forced to work for the Chairman, and so all that was left was to send out furtive messages, graphical cries for help?

Whatever, it was back to the boggling Gracie for a final serve at these bludgers ...

Heck, when it comes to the working year, when it comes to the Chairman, and working for the reptiles, why not take off the whole year?

There are many urgent positions available where diligent application might end with splendid results and an astonishing sense of achievement ...