Meanwhile, over in savvy Savva land ...
Top of the digital page, ma, roaming wild and free with gold standard Gladys ...
Meanwhile, back in the world of petulant Peta, down in the ruck with the rabble at start of day ...
Oh, it's brave and bold talk, all that stuff about having the guts, and turning guts into garters, and so on and so forth, but in reality she's just a quivering, apologetic jelly ...
Dammit, the pond was always going to start off its Thursday this way, referencing the Graudian, even if it had been well and truly gazumped by a kindly reader, well ahead of the game...
Oh how everyone had fun ... what with stories headed "The biggest backdown I've ever seen!", using an obvious source for its inspiration ...
If the venerable Meade says it, it must be true, and there's your guts for garters ...
And that's as lengthy an explanation as any the pond will ever give why it doesn't give a toss for the petulant Peta on a Thursday, but will settle for her guts when in need of something to keep up the stockings ...
But that doesn't mean Thursday is a dead loss. There's always the brilliant bromancer, framed early this day in a splendid triptych ...
Petey boy back, and woke real estate madness, and the bromancer, woke mad as hell and not taking it anymore, or perhaps taking his cue from Frank the fearless of Melbourne. Play on McDuff ...
Are things as really as bad as the bromancer makes out?
Sure there's the ongoing, never ending war on Xmas, and that attitude to Xian names is shocking, but there are bravehearts out there, heroic figures ready to do battle with Satan's leet woke forces ...
Cry freedumb. Yes, the pond realises it probably shouldn't promote loons in their loonery, except that the pond made the basic mistake of calling itself loon pond, and is by definition, a haven for loons ...
And so back to the bromancer, in full loonatic flight, and spoiler alert, there's going to be a little more to the bromancer's long game than his raging about Xianity and the suffering of Xians, sub-genus tykes ...
But anti-Semitic persecution is a proud tradition in the Catholic church, and being something of a card-carrying tyke, the bromancer, should know it well. Perhaps he should add Simon of Trent to his General Roman Calendar, and revive the blood libel ...
Never mind, no need to rake over those old coals ...
Um thanks for the click bait video clip, reptiles, but the pond has had its fill of Xianity, and still retains a certain knowledge, an awareness of the inner workings and thinking of the cult ...
Such sublime tosh, fed to innocents, learned by heart, and yet as heartbreaking as when you realise that Santa Claus really doesn't come down the chimney, and that many apartments don't even have chimneys to help him loot a glass of port and an Xmas cake ...
But do go on, brave warrior, spruiking the usual tosh, go full Ted Cruz if you like ...
Hmm, the 'leets ... the shocking, dreadful 'leets ... but relax, the pond was kind, it didn't ruin the bromancer's climax with a spoiler.
You see, all that bullshit about woke madness was just a chance for the bromancer to flog his book, and the reptiles to run another click bait video ...
Seize any chance to flog a book, the pond says, there will be copies signed on the night ...
Eeek, it's fucking Elmer Gantry in drag ...
Will the pond be attending that tyke shindig?
"Dance, party, lively gathering," 1871, probably from shindy "a spree, merrymaking" (1821), also "a game like hockey;" perhaps from shinty, name of a Scottish game akin to hockey (1771), earlier shinny (see shinny (n.)
Fuck that for a woke joke, but that talk of woke 'leets did provide a natural segue to a classic 'leet figure furiously scribbling for the lizard Oz to save his neck ...
Oh woe is the poor precious petal, but speaking of colleagues ...
Oh the pond just had to sample that delicious Rowe before enduring more of the whiff of desperation in the air ... that smell of freedumb, a bit like the smell of napalm in the morning ...
Part of a team? Hasn't been able to achieve what he wants? But it's such a splendid team, as celebrated by Rowe, with more Rowe teamwork here ...
So many felicitous touches ... the sub on the stumps, the scoreboard, the lump on the bum ...
And so for a bonus, the pond turned to the grave Sexton, shedding a tear for Vlad the impaler ...
Oh the sorrow and the pity, and the eternal suffering of Vlad the impaler. Please, shed a tear for his endless suffering with the grave Sexton ...
Indeed, indeed, but then the Ukraine has always been part of mother Russia, and soon must return to its bosom. Come to think of it, there were grand days once in the Russian empire, with plenty of satellite states, in Albania, Bulgaria, east Germany, Hungary ... all yearning to return to mother Russia and the joys of life under a dictatorship ...
Is it wrong to dream, to hope, to yearn for a return of the grand empire, for all the lost souls to return to the bosom?
Now just to prove that the pond is onside with dictators for life, it would like to decry the shameful, shocking image that the hipsters have stuck up in King Street, Newtown ...
Then the pond relaxed a little, because blogger is banned in China, so where's the harm.
Instead the pond could return to the venerable, grave Sexton, still spruiking for the suffering of Vlad the impaler, and to hell with the Ukrainians, and come to think of it, in due course, the Taiwanese ...
Indeed, indeed, let Vlad the impaler have his way with the world, and the pond still remembers the splendid result achieved when the United States refused to go to war with Adolf ...
Luckily, the pond had a little German blut in its veins, admittedly diluted by Irish blut, but still ... and so could clamber its way up to become a successful blogger, celebrating the triumphs of dictators around the world ... cheering on the grave Sexton, cheering on Vlad the impaler, and perhaps soon enough, explaining how emperor Xi might give Taiwan the same blissful life that Hong Kongers now enjoy ...
And so to the infallible Pope, perhaps not quite at one with dictators, but still determined to celebrate the triumphs of western civilisation ...
"and there's your guts for garters ..." There's that bit in 'Phrases' about "garters were worn by men as a way of holding up their stockings, a.k.a. hose. Garters aren't commonly worn now..." But I wore garters - common elastic rather than human guts - maybe a mere 70 years ago, or less - as did a lot of my male fellow schoolies to hold up our long socks (coming to just under the knee) back when we still wore shorts, come summer or winter, to school.
ReplyDeleteDo the kids still wear that combination ?
Ah now DP. there's actually a couple of Guardian items about Peta's 'question time' performance. Because it is only a performance like any experienced politician - eg The Onion Muncher, Turnbull or ScottyfromMarketing - could do any day in question tine or for the tv cameras without blinking an eyelid.
ReplyDeleteSo, looking at a different Guardian article, we see "Two individuals, who were also acting on behalf of other members of the community, made a complaint to the Australian Human Rights Commission on 3 November 2020..." and "The complainants alleged the segments were discriminatory, contrary to s18C of the Racial Discrimination Act..."
Oh no, not the dreaded S18C ! Now I didn't think that a reptile would fold up and go to water like that. What are all the reptiles who have campaigned passionately against S18C going to say ? Dame Slap for one will be mortified. And what about Dim Tim Wilson ?
Ooops:
DeletePeta Credlin’s apology to South Sudanese community result of human rights commission complaint
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2021/dec/06/peta-credlins-apology-to-south-sudanese-community-result-of-human-rights-commission-complaint
Excellent GB, the pond has a new quest. Will Freedom Boy rise to the bait, will Dame Slap regain her mojo, will some reptile make a stand? Only the Shadow knows, but the pond will faithfully report on any bold, brave valiant endeavours by any old favourites ...
DeleteGaily bedight,
These gallant reptile knights,
In sunshine and in shadow,
Journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of S18C
But the pond grew old—
Waiting on these reptile knights so bold—
And o'er heart a shadow—
Fell as the reptiles found
No spot of ground
That looked like S18C.
And, as the reptiles' strength
Failed them at length,
They met a pilgrim shadow—
‘Shadow,’ said they,
‘Where can it be—
This land of S18C?’
Over the mountains
Of the moon
Down the valley of the shadow
Ride, reptiles, boldly ride
The shade replied
If you seek for S18C ...
To Eldorado via E A Poe. Your erudition us awesome, DP.
DeleteAnd where are you, Kez ? It isn't the holiday time yet, you know.
DeleteI know virtually nothing about Sharma, but I would be interested to read his ideas on what constitutes our economy in ‘full health’ and his understanding of ‘fiscal repair’.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt he already has a plan to address workforce shortages, which he is pressing on 75 other members to gain their support, but I would be specially interested in how he thinks any member of ‘the team’ is able to ‘ensure’ - his word - ‘ensure inflation does not get out of hand.’
He was given a column in the Flagship. What better place might there be to set out his thinking, finely honed through his years in the diplomatic service, on those large questions? No doubt all his colleagues - sorry, team mates - on that side, receive gratis copies of the print edition, and read it avidly - so - go for it Dave. There will never be a better time to establish your remarkable economic credentials for when Josh moves up to the top job.
Why fritter away such an opportunity just on being patronising to Ms Spender?
You are getting to be quite cynical, Chad. Of course Sharma hasn't a clue what he's blathering about; what could "fiscal repair" ever mean to him ?
DeleteHe is, but of course, engaging in the usual 'get my name into the papers' approach to politics, but by engaging only with the 'Flagship' he is, at best, reaching those who would vote for him - or maybe for Pauline or Craig - anyway.
So I commend this as the only sensible commentary to be made:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw15MsGlxuc
Spoiler alert, that's a link to a Peter Sellers speech. Click on it at your peril, because you might discover that nothing has changed since 1958 ...
DeleteGB and DP - that speech is not only timeless, it pretty much obviates need for a high proportion of subsequent speeches by hack politicians. It's a bit like singing the duet from 'The Pearl Fishers' now, but being aware that Jussi Bjorling and Robert Merrill did THE definitive performance, 71 years ago.
DeleteTrue, Chad, but Pavarotti and Ghiaurov (pretending to be a baritone) wasn't real bad either.
DeleteThe Bromancer is really going overboard now, isn't he: "There are straws in the wind, sometimes more telling than bigger events. If the West does not believe in itself, it will struggle, may even not survive, culturally, politically, socially and militarily."
ReplyDeleteOh wau, the end of days is all but upon us. Now I suppose that the Bro, being a Christian sort of chap, isn't referring to Ragnarok but more likely to the Gospel of Luke: "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be great earthquakes, and in various places famines and pestilences. And there will be dreadful portents and great signs from heaven." [Luke 21:10]
Yep, I think that's what the Bro reckons is in store for us all. But then I wonder over what timeframe the Bro thinks this will all happen - 5 years ? 10 years ? 50 years ? 100 years ? After all, the Byzantine Empire began its serious decline in the 11th century but it wasn't finally obliterated until 1453, though the sack of Constantinople in 1204 (by those appalling Crusader Christians) really signalled its "end of days".
And why does the Bro think his "God" will allow this destruction ? Isn't "the West" the rightful home of Iesus Christos and all he stands for ? And in any case, what will it all mean in 1000 years time ? In 10,000 years ? In 100,000 years ? Or does the Bro think that the rapture will arrive 'real soon now' ?