In which the pond refuses to go there, but that means the pond must go there, with the bromancer, the dog botherer and "Ned's" natter ...

 

 

How low will the pond go? 

The pond routinely goes low, and when it comes to the roads, it's always the low reptile-laden road ...

But the pond will not go there ...

 

 

 

Simplistic Sharri in conversation with the mango Mussolini? 

Come to think of it, the pond also won't be promoting the Devine or her latest attempt to crack it big in the United States with a book, though with a bit of luck someone will read out excerpts to the mango Mussolini so he can discover what's in it ...

And so to usual pond fare, and even when he's not sounding totally and comprehensively nuts, even when he's turned aside from his yearning for a war on China by Xmas, the pond must give the bromancer his due...

 

 

 

 

Here the pond should note, in a preliminary way, that today will be a testing day, even for the most devoted devotee of the reptiles ...

There's something about the freedumb of the digital space that makes the reptiles grow more prolix, tedious and wearisome, and today all three reptiles sampled by the pond simply don't know when to shut up ...

 

But why feature the bromancer trying to sound sensible in relation to the virus? 

Well, after a long and tedious journey, there will come the dog botherer, and so it will be possible to see how there are various levels of loonacy to be measured and judged, even within the nutty reptile ranks ...

 

 

Yes, yes, the federal government has done wonders, and handled things ineffably well (and thank the long absent lord for the states), but the pond grows impatient for the arrival of the dog botherer. Surely this is enough of the bromancer for a compare and contrast, and an assessment of relative levels of loonacy? Sorry, we've barely begun ...

 

 

 

Indeed, indeed, but the pond was vastly relieved when the mask slipped just a little to protect the chin, but leave the bromancer's ongoing war with China a little exposed ...

 

 

Indeed, indeed,  and don't think for a moment we should abandon thoughts of that war with China by Xmas, even if it is enfeebled and helpless and useless and slow. 

 And now, thanks to economical filibustering by the pond, we reach the final gobbet ... and in his own way, the bromancer sets out his thoughts on the impending arrival of the dog botherer's rant ...

 

 

Yes, the states have very good stories to tell, and they're so good, that the federal government is very happy to claim them,  and tell them ...

And now, suitably if interminably prepared, it's time for that compare and contrast with the dog botherer ...

 

 

The pond could probably have just stopped with that headline and that snap of a toad, especially as it makes reference to the dog botherer comparing the toad to Donald Rumsfeld ...

Talk about a gormless twit. Back in the day, Lord Downer, and the bromancer were at one with the Rumsfeld on many matters, even if he did look nervously at the sky when discovering himself in the company of a beaming twit ...

 

 

 

 

Bomb, bomb, bomb Iraq ... and by pure chance, the pond stumbled on a book where little Sir Echo, HMV, was linked with the Rumsfeldian one...

 

Those were the days, when the dog botherer spoke to the world on the world stage ... bomb, bomb, bomb Iraq ... but back to the present, and that compare and contrast with the bromancer ...

 

The dog botherer's rant is shaping up nicely ... and the pond thinks it's already in a position to declare a winner by a canter ... or perhaps a growl ...

 

 

Now at this point the pond should note that the reptiles had caught a whiff of where the bromancer was heading with all this, so they put in a snap of a shouting finger pointer, and a loon carrying a sign crying out for freedumb, freedumb, freedumb ...

 

 

 

 

Well they had to repay all that money that Clive dropped on the reptiles' front page, didn't they? If the reptiles insert another snap crying out freedumb, freedumb, freedumb, Clive will have been amply rewarded ...

 

Hmm, the pond is old enough to remember the likes of the dog botherer, senile before their time, shouting at vulgar youth for demanding their rights ...

Was it years of shrieking about global warming propaganda, conditioning the dog botherer to existential anxiety, programming him to a form of hysteria that he felt the need to call scepticism, aka the mad Napoleonic delusion that he knew more than climate scientists, that encouraged the dog botherer's dementia, and his inability to remember his attitude to those who condemned wars?

 

 

 

The pond loves to slip that in every so often ... and now on with Clive scoring that extra cry freedumb snap, courtesy of the reptiles, ever mindful of the needs of their sponsors ...

 

 

Around this time, the pond would usually pause to celebrate the latest doings of the denialists ...

 

 

 

Perhaps it's cruel, but the pond did like that line about the vegan anti-vaxxer dying after assuring the world that it's not vegan ... ...but such is the pond's eagerness to end the dog botherer's rant that it will leave others to google the yarn, along with talk of wild-eyed Italian covid bunga bunga parties ... ah Silvio, where are you now?

 

 

 

Actually all the pond expects of government is that it tells the likes of the dog botherer to fuck off, but there's fuck all chance of that.

Instead the pond must freely confess, gaily admit, that the dog botherer simply blew the bromancer out of the water ...

His reward for dragging climate science into his rant about the virus should surely be a Rowson cartoon, though others can collect their prize here ...

 

 

And so, in the usual way, to the Everest known as nattering "Ned". 

The pond has no idea why the reptiles keep on with it, the pond is even more clueless as to why the pond bothers, and all that can be said is that it's because it's there ...

 

 

 

 

There's no way that "Ned" can match the dog botherer with a decent rant. "Ned's" style is to produce a submission simply by blathering on interminably, so that anyone still awake at the end will fling up their hands and say 'enough already' ...

Even that uncredited reptile graphic, bathing Albo in the demonic hellfire glow of a hell boy, offers a false promise of excitement to follow ... and so the pond will do "Ned" as quickly as it can, in big chunks ... though there's something to be said for salivating over the patented "Ned" hand-wringing and gloominess ... and even masticating slowly, in the Keating manner ...

 

 

 

Hopefully? Not if the dog botherer's freedumb snaps win the day! Sorry, sorry, the pond is on a promise to keep the interstitials brief, just so the agony can be ended in less than eight fits ...

 

 

 

Oh dear sweet long absent lord, "Ned" has resorted to his old trick of quoting others endlessly so his natter can become interminable ... quick, waiter, another big chunk ...

 

 

 

Hmm, come to think of it, a leopard doesn't change its penchant for clichés either ...quick waiter another chunk of interminable "Ned", wringing hands, sighing at clouds, quoting Richo to make things even more interminable...

 

 

Of course the new paradigm might actually just be the sight of the planet being fucked, and steeper costs arising from climate change inaction, an inaction long championed by the reptiles ...

But the pond mustn't be bitter, tomorrow will be soon enough to mention climate science and the reptiles in the Sunday meditation ... or perhaps the day after that, or the day after that, because if you keep on putting it off, and blathering about 'steeper costs', why you might do nothing at all, and then how pleased we'll be to see the billionaires rocket off to Mars to keep the species alive by a special breeding program featuring the best that Hollywood can offer ...

Sorry, sorry, the strain has finally told, and the pond is once again broken ... but be still, trembling hand, at last there's just a gobbet to go ...

 

 

Indeed, indeed, blather is the way forward, and "Ned's" patented brand is a miracle cure, though for the life of the pond, it can't see how it helps the reptiles' business model, or their chance of appealing to vulgar youff ...

Meanwhile, perhaps a miracle, or at least a distraction ...