How could the pond ignore old favourites in its 'farewell to the year' tour this week?

 

 

Of course the pond was just having a play, of course the pond would pay attention to its old reliable reptiles, out and about on a Monday ... but please, did anyone miss the pond's usual morning edition featuring the Caterist, the reformed, recovering feminist and the Major?

Dare the pond suggest that the tree fell in the forest and nobody heard the sound of crashing bores? 

Dare the pond suggest that getting through the holiday season without a reptile fix will be a doddle?

 

 

The pond won't miss the Caterist one whit or jot ... nor will it waste time brooding on his astonishing stupidity.

You see the pond grew up in a notionally Catholic household, and the question of 'good v. evil' wasn't a woke folly. 

It was the essence of things, it was the good, the saintly, the Catholic, the Xian, the Pope, the disciples, the whatever, up against the devil, Satan, Lucifer, call him what you will, though the pond did wonder why men landed all the good jobs ...

It was that question of original sin. You didn't have a choice to be woke. By definition, you were wicked, guilty of original sin, forever doomed, unless you got woke with the tykes ...

 

 

 

Now that's fully woke, there's the matter of good v. evil in a nutshell ... (and since when did the reptiles stop putting a stop after v.?)

Oh fucketty fuck, it's just the usual ...

Well the pond isn't going to waste time on the usual nonsense, and instead will pause for a comic note on the preferred Caterist use of the English language ...

 

 

 

Or perhaps ...

Or perhaps ...

 

And now back to the Caterist, blathering on ...

And so to the Caterist going there, which is to say the matter of Coon ... since the Caterist just loves calling coons coons, and come to think of it, red skins red skins, and while you're at it, you probably can rustle up a few other names for people with differently tinted skin ... different that is to the Caterist ...

 

Good old reliable Compass Polling, and not a hint of pushing in that polling question ...

And the pond rests its case. Who could possibly miss a fuckwit of the Caterist kind over the break?

And now for further evidence that they won't missed, on to the reformed, recovering feminist, the Oreo, having a greenie panic attack ...

 

 

 

By golly, that Holmes a Court has really got under the collective reptile skin ...

 

 

A shared agenda on gender ... well that's just the sort of thing to get a reformed, recovering feminist going, especially if it's matched with an agenda on climate, because reformed, recovering feminists are firmly on the side of patriarchal planet-fucking ...

Meanwhile, on another planet, things haven't gone that well for the gender agenda ...

 

 

The pond just flung that in, because the reptiles decided they'd fling in a click bait video that sent the pond into another conspiracy theory ...

 

 

Sweet dreams and flying machines, did the pond get it all wrong with its talking up of the mutton Dutton? Is Josh the man for the new year? What better way to help him retain his seat than make him the main man?

Sorry, the pond is drifting away, though that's further evidence for its thesis that the likes of the Oreo won't be missed over the break ...

 

Oh dear, the Covid-catching Tamworth legend mentioned in despatches ... and so to a snap of the harridans causing all the fuss, and a few last words from the Oreo ...

 

Yes, yes, and remember, fucking the planet is a noble, manly business, and if you want to learn how to do it, just ask a reformed, recovering feminist ... because there's no room for other women in that room ...

And so to the final panel in this triptych of reliable Monday reptile terrors ... and conclusive proof that everybody will manage the break in comfortable style ...

 

Yes, there's more blather about "woke" and as for the "pursuit of truth", the Major is of course referring to his endless quest to find that missing Order of Lenin medal ...

 

 

 

More here on that, but it's the last time this year that the pond will have the chance to talk about that missing Order of Lenin medal, and the Major's relentless "pursuit of the truth" ... as only natural born liars, dissemblers, and equivocators can do  ...

As for the rest, it's just the usual Major ...

 

Ah yes, Twitter, the great bane of the Major's life ... and so to the usual talk of Trump-Russia collusion being a hoax, and never mind ...

More on the Russia hoax hoax at the Major's favourite reading, WaPo, here (paywall affected). And there's this at the Major's other favourite newspaper ... (paywall affected)

 

A look at the facts? Is that like the Major's hunt for the missing Order of Lenin medal?

Sorry, the pond has pre-empted the Major casually talking of the hoax as if it were a hoax, and here it comes ...

 

Actually, if the pond might be so bold, the United States was built on racism, and not just by importing black slaves to do the hard yards, but by people doing their level best to wipe out the indigenous population, and just to put a capper on it, they had a really huge civil war to determine the future of racism, slavery, and whatever, and while one side ostensibly won, racism kept marching on ...

As for Derrida, what is it with the reptiles? How quickly they forget that the long march through the institutions was Gramsci's idea, or perhaps Rudi Dutschke ...

Has the Major forgotten Gramsci? Why is Derrida suddenly given first place? What happened to Jean-Paul Sartre? Is there no place at all for Simone de Beauvoir?

So many questions, and yet the pond will happily go without answers if it means a reptile-free holiday season ...

 

Good old Major. The fact is, when in Tamworth you had to be like a pig rooting for truffles to find a copy of the lizard Oz, and therein the Major wanking away about traditional working people, because everybody knew it was a 'leet rag full of wankers up themselves ...

Traditional working people are more likely to be worried about the way they can't actually get to fucking work, thanks to the exemplary work of the gold standard Gladys brigade ...

 

The pond spent last night joking at all the wonders of NSW Transport, and there you go, if only the pond had known it had all been put in a cartoon ... though it does miss out on that old one about trains too big for tunnels, which you can read about here (caution, it's the ABC) ...

Yes, that's how to piss billions against the wall, while the Major rabbits on about the woke and workers and such like ...

And so to a last gobbet of the Major for the year, and the pond with the unshakeable conviction the Major won't be missed in the silly season, because he provides all year silliness ...

 

It's true that the Major feels no guilt. Nor does he ever show any sign of a sense of shame ... and as for the Graudian, they can speak for themselves about the Major's shameless distortion and misrepresentation of what they actually wrote, here ...

And so on, and on, and only one question remains. 

Will the Major ever step outside the tent and howl at something other than the NY Times and all the Major's other pet shibboleths? 

Well there's always another year, and might the pond make a humble suggestion by way of a cartoon ...