What the pond learned from the bromancer and nattering "Ned" ...

 

 

 

 

 

What the pond learned before the bromancer even got started? You don't shake hands after the game, the winners congratulating the losers on a good game, and the losers congratulating the winners for winning. 

 

No, you kick the bromancer in the balls or maybe spit on him,  or at least tell him to get fucked ... and maybe just for the heck of it, grope a nearby pussy.

 

The pond also learned that gigantic man baby tantrums are to be indulged ... in the way that the pond indulges the reptiles.

 

The pond also learned that it's best to be a sociopath in a Donald or a bromancer way. 

 

Just as the nation is swept up and convulsed by a virus, news of at least 130 secret service agents tending the man baby having caught the virus, and more news emerging that the White House is a super spreader, ignore the pain you've caused, and focus on yourself ... 150,000 cases in a day, and all you need to do is stay sulking in the basement watching the telly ...

The pond also learned that it's best to lead off with a cartoon before attending to bromancer blather...

 

There, that's better ... now on to the sociopathic bromancer determined to prove he can show empathy for a sociopath ...

 

 

 

 

Yes, no doubt it was a triumph and a resounding victory ...

 

 

 

 

 

The pond is unlikely to return to its habit of distracting from the reptiles with a flurry of cartoons, but just this once it reverted to old form ... the alternative was to include Dame Slap whining and moaning about the ABC, and this seemed like a much better alternative, a farewell to arms and sanity ...

 

Indeed, indeed. Christ would have much to learn from the United States and the inspirational example of the Republican party, its bravery and courage under fire ...

 

 

 Of course much of what the bromancer is scribbling would just as well fit as inspirational copy and marketing guides for Adolf, Benito, and a personal bromancer favourite, Franco, what with him being deeply Catholic and all.

The pond isn't supposed to make that sort of remark, play fair, shake hands after a good game and all that, but that was before the pond learned the real Donald lesson ... knee 'em in the groin, poke 'em in the eye, tell 'em to get fucked ...

 

Yes, for all that he was a narcissistic, snake-oil selling con man,  his achievements should be recognised. Including his remarkable ability to deny reality, an achievement the bromancer shares ...

 

 

Oops, did the pond just up the cartoon interstitials to three? Well there's only so much undiluted bromancer the pond can take these days ...

And now a reminder to Herr Hitler that nationalism and patriotism are powerful forces that galvanise voters ...

Yes, yes, why they might even pass for whites ... so much to learn ... so much to do ...

 

Look, the pond will admit it's been fun, and there have been some great comedy moments, and it's a pity about all the dead in the United States, but when you keep company with, and celebrate, sociopaths, there has to be a little collateral damage ...

 

All that, and we are in a mess, and conservatives need to make the culture and themselves better? What a fruitloop, what a galah. Stay just as you are, because the pond needs its loons ... now sing along ...

Now the pond threw in all those cartoons in the hope of throwing all but the experienced pond professional off the scent.

If amateurs have been stopped by that cartoon blizzard, all to the good, because the remaining challenge is not for the faint of heart, or even the feint-hearted ... it's the Everest known as "Ned", and only a few dare attempt the climb, especially when all you'll find at the end is a peak littered with detritus ...

 

That opening cartoon is an indication of how wretched things are going to be ... but at least the pond knows who to blame, Malware ...

 

Malware urged "Ned" to speak out? That's the last thing we need, he never shuts up, and this day, after that little fracas, after that little brouhaha, he's determined to natter on at endless length ...

 

 

You see, Malware he's just warming up, and he's not going to pay a moment's notice to your advice ...

 

Unctuous Uriah Heep style flattery - to quote the bromancer quoting Dickens - isn't going to cut it. One of our greatest? Only in a Malware universe, where the NBN is the gratest.

There's no way that "Ned" is going to say enough already, I'm out of it. He's going to draw himself up to his full pompous, portentous height and blather on endlessly ...

 

 

 

 

Private lives? That horse bolted from the Barners' stable long ago, but "Ned" is such a pompous ass, he still thinks he's living in a world where a set of sheets or a TV might affect a political career ...

As for the giddying and contradictory cross-currents, was that a hint of "Ned's" bruising encounter with Malware? Unlikely, the scribbler is not for turning, though the pond was amused that photos of him circulated suggesting that "Ned" was a covert member of QAnon ...

 

 

 

 

Oh okay, it doesn't quite fit, and it really should be a capital "A", but anything to distract from the tedium ... and now for the great "speaking out" on climate science ...

Yes, yes, get there whenever, because she'll be right, and besides, look at Joel, and what's that you said, infallible Pope?

 

Sorry Malware, the chance of "Ned" discovering any sort of timing or credibility at this time in his career is nada, zero, zilch ... all he knows is the art of the relentless drone, a noise designed to fill a hollow vessel ...

 

It's like reading a relentlessly tedious, endless government press release, of the self-congratulatory kind, only it's "Ned" reading the runes and doing all the congratulations. What's that you say, infallible Pope?

 

 

No, no, that's not for "Ned", that's been safely sent into next week, let the press release continue ... and what do you know, there's nothing to learn from that orange blowhard, suddenly we're best buddies with jolly Joe, except for his unfortunate insistence on actual science ...

What hasn't been easy has been enduring "Ned" and realising at the same time how painfully stupid Malware sounded in trying to appeal to his better nature ... he's "Ned", he's a reptile, and he scribbles as reptiles do ... it's so long ingrained in him that it would be easier to get a deep stain out of cedar ... by the time you'd sanded it down, there'd be nothing left.

Instead, all that can be done is clap hands and sing and dance with joy that this is the final, and short, gobbet ...

 

Note in that last line how "Ned" works. It's a form of displacement. "For the Morrison government, the answer is obvious." Yet by the preceding set of paragraphs, the logical ending would have been "For me, nattering "Ned", government stooge and devoted reptile, the answer is obvious... the ABC is Satan, or at least an acolyte of Satan", and "besides, didn't you read those preceding pars where I made that all very clear...?"

But such is "Ned's" gutless, gormless behaviour, that he must transfer on to the Morrison government his own very obvious answer, and the reason is obvious enough ... "Ned" and SloMo are so far up each other, no sunlight can be detected ...

And as for poor Malware, expecting "Ned" to speak out? What a loon, what a goose. Here, have a cartoon ... because that's all you're ever going to get ...