In which the war heats up, the bromancer is distressed by a nasty woman, and Dame Slap joins the lemmings in lizard Oz flight ...

The pond has never been averse to a little socialism, and it seems, neither are the reptiles. 

Oh we are all socialists now, comrades in arms, taxing corporations to support corporations, and there should be more of it (why, the pond wouldn't mind receiving a few taxes from Chairman Rupert), and that's why the Google affair has so excited the pond, and sure enough an employee for a company owned in the United States, makes a telling point in the opening reptile salvo ...

Yes, the comrades are in on it too, which is what you'd expect of a bunch of socialists, but what joy that the reptiles eagerly embrace the embrace of the socialists ... oh we are all socialists now ...

The ACCC was contacted for comment? Oh don't stop there ... please do go on, because we must all learn to share the wealth around, it's the socialist way.

And it's important that socialists be able to share private information freely - how else to know a comrade's tendencies, or even whether they're deviant enough to read the lizard Oz?

This is going to be so much fun, and the hope and the prayer that the tech giants are just going to roll over is a fine and fond delusion, but we are all socialists now, and we must fight for socialism, with the reptiles leading the way ...

Hmm, should the pond bill the reptiles for this message of socialist support?

Meanwhile, as the phony pamphlet-dropping phase of the war plays out, the pond had to revert to the bromancer for his usual incisive set of insights into the state of the American union, and as usual, it was the bromancer in top form ...as a dreadful nasty woman displayed an extraordinary capacity for Trump - and so bromancer - hating ...

She's a Trump hater? Deep in his heart, or perhaps deep in the Chairman's pocket, the bromancer is something of a Trump lover, and he simply couldn't stand the way that the cruel hussy spoke of the Donald, apparently out of mean vindictiveness because they trashed her garden, when everyone knows the best things come in a plastic container ...

Why that's outrageous, and shocking, and designed to appal, greatly dismay and horrify a Donald-loving reptile ... and provide an excuse for a cartoon ...

And then came the cruel cappers... fancy the nerve of quoting the Donald back at himself? Has there ever been a more callous disregard for humanity?

What else could the bromancer do but feel sad? Oh it's a sad and sorry day, with such an extraordinary attack by a nasty woman, with the Donald absolutely refusing to engage in nasty attacks on nasty women his entire tenure ...

Yes, there's more out there in the world than you read in the pages of the lizard Oz, but the pond must press on, because there's little doubt that this nasty woman has entirely ruined Joe's campaign by getting it off on the wrong foot ...

 

Ouch? For heaven's sake, it's only a dead human, and everyone knows that the Donald could shoot someone on Fifth avenue, and the bromancer would still find him appealing. And there's still so much more killing and shooting to be done ...

Now back with the  bromancer, but what's this, suddenly the reptiles are shocked by socialism and the likes of Bernie? 

But hadn't we all agreed that we are all socialists now, and that we should share corporate wealth around, just like Bernie proposes? And if Bernie loves Russia, where's the harm in that, because the Donald is so far up Vlad, or Vlad so far up him, that it's impossible to see daylight, and work out which is what ...

The Donald's a redhead these days? Orange is red, red is orange?  So much for the pond's sense of colour...

Yes, the Donald and his minions have destroyed the economy - they managed to increase the debt while cashing in long before the virus landed; yes, the United States health care system, such as it is, is comprehensively fucked, especially if you happen be poor, because then there's none at all; and yes the Donald is fucking the planet as much as he can, and he'll certainly do a lot more given another four years to carry out the climate science denialism the reptiles love ...

But as for authoritarianism, what's wrong with putting the Emperor King's head on Mount Rushmore and on a stamp?

And so to the standard bromancer mea culpa.  You see, the bromancer really likes the authoritarian Donald and his strutting impression of Mussolini, but he must also insert a few little distractions.

He has to pretend that he takes a stern view of the Donald. He has to be clear, he has to be balanced and even-handed in the reptile way.

He certainly can see that the Donald deserves a lot of the criticism he gets, some of it might even be justified, but then so does an unruly child when he plays in the mud, and is it wrong to love the unruly child just because there's a little mud on his face and paws? Oh whither, or wither, this cruel tirade of abuse ...

Not to worry, the pond left in that video just because it celebrated the Donald's extraordinary character strengths, the many successes that have helped him worm his way into the bromancer's heart ...

And so to the pond's pro forma exercise. The pond knew that the reptiles were still brooding - why they'd barely noticed that the war on China had taken another wine-dumping turn for the worst - and naturally they called upon Dame Slap to lead the case for the defence ...

Well she did score an illustration from the cult master, but even by his elevated standards, it's astonishingly irrelevant, even if deeply meaningful for those who can do a QAnon on it and decode its subtle meanings ...

The real point, as was established sometime ago, was the reptiles' child-like desire to "Épater la bourgeoisie", and does anyone get more child-like than Dame Slap? She did, after all, don the Donald cap and step out into the New York night to celebrate the arrival of an Emperor King with just the right amount of authoritarian fascist spirit ...

Of course, it shouldn't be forgotten that Dame Slap has always been a supporter of the Donald, though the pond has never been quite certain how she might have reacted if she'd got close enough to the Donald to be given an affectionate grab on the pussy ...

But then that's probably not a special favour, that's just a favour the Donald has shared with a number of women ...

The reptiles will never admit an error, never take a backward step, never apologise, never give up, never surrender. It's the Buzz Lightyear approach to journalism, always with the desire to "Épater la bourgeoisie", and especially the ABC, and Michael Rowland and Ita and all that mob, all the usual suspects, all that refuse to drink the kool-aid, and it always strikes the pond as remarkable and amusing how strong this herd instinct is in the crowd that would follow the IPA and Gina over a cliff, because lemmings ... 

But wait, Dame Slap, in her usual wonderful way, will deliver a tremendous one liner to wrap that thought up ...

The free thinkers at the lizard Oz? 

Oh that had the pond rolling Jaffas down the aisle, as it once did at the Capitol in Tamworth. 

Is that what they call the sheep herded into line to follow the editorial instruction, drink the kook aid, and be a team player, and all go ruck in his defence? Rally around the flag, reptiles, the Gatling's jammed, the cartoon section runs red with blood, the square is broken, play up and play the bigoted reptile game ... oh, and Graudian here ...

 

And so he did, and so they all did, and they're still rallying around the flag, but there's one thing for certain. 

If you have to explain the real meaning of a cartoon, if it isn't apparent, then it's a shit cartoon ... and yet poor old Dore had to try to explain the gore and the meaning behind said piece of shit ...

 

"I want to explain to you"? "The intention of the commentary in the cartoon ..."?

What a fuckwitted condescending gherkin. And what a woeful, inept, shitty cartoon, to need such an editorial intervention.

Well here's an alternative reality. You don't need to explain a David Rowe cartoon, and the pond sends this copy along to the bromancer, with cheers and regards, because delusional, useless tools need all the cheer they can get ... (oh and the bromancer can find more clear and easy to understand good Rowe cheer here).