In which the pond can't give up its addiction to Oreos and holes in the bucket ...

 

How could the pond ignore the Oreo, now that she seems to have found a home on Friday, designed to boost the reptiles' failing, fragile set of in-house columnists? The kindly dentist let the pond out early, simply so it could endure a fresh drilling at the hands at the Oreo, with the cry "no, it's never safe ..."

And as soon as the recovering, reformed feminist mentioned abounding conspiracy theories, the pond knew that there would be plenty of Oreo bounding ...

But Killer Creighton and Butcher Bolter were part of a death cult ...

Of course they dressed it up in fancy words,  of the kind only a Kudelka could decipher ...

 

As for the simple minded blather of Lord Sumption, and personal responsibility, we know where that leads ...

  

 As if the world is run like the Scouts, and there's no loons or molesters in sight in the school corridors, or bikers with a death wish riding through the mansions of glory on suicide machines, looking for a death trap...

Is it wrong to note when someone is being mindlessly moronic, and given the fierce hatred of the reptiles for being politically correct, why do they deplore mindless morons being correctly labelled so?

Now it's not for the pond to note the illiteracy on view in one of those Oreo sentences. Perhaps the subs took a rest day.

Nor is it the pond's business to note how the recovering, reformed feminist gives day passes to loopy loons, because as we all know there are good people on both sides and the civil war was about state rights, not slavery, even though it could be argued that slavery was a necessary evil, and a jolly good thing for plenty of slaves, who were diligent workers and did the right thing by their masters, and even enjoyed being fucked, as any recovering, reformed feminist would know ...

But the pond will make one stand. Oreos are irredeemable and deplorable. The pond came across the notion in a piece that had this illustration ...

... and that linked to an old Gawker story, and Gawker no longer being with us, now only to be found on the Wayback Machine here, wherein might be read Oreo Cookies Are as Addictive as Cocaine ...

...the researchers found that the Oreos “activated significantly more neurons than cocaine or morphine.” So basically, if you give a mouse a cookie, who knows what the fuck he'll ask for next. He might ask for some coke, but he'll definitely want more cookies.

At last a scientific explanation for the pond's monstrous addiction to the deplorable nonsense that the recovering, reformed feminist peddles for the reptiles ...

The media plays a significant role in disseminating accurate information about the pandemic, and it's all the fault of social media? What, Fox News sending all the loon thoughts of the Donald out into the world is a significant role? A bleach here and a pill boondoggle there? What alternative reality do these reptiles infest, what other planet do they come from?

As for the notion that anyone would have a trust surplus when it comes to the reptiles, there must be a cartoon for that ...

And so to the hole in the bucket man, and the pond should note that it is only including our Henry for the sake of completeness, and because some pond readers remain steadfast and true, and loyal to the brand ...

The reptiles, however, clearly sensed a problem with our Henry, and so every few paragraphs, they inserted a video that readers could click on to relieve the monotony and boredom, and incidentally drive up the reptile advertising revenue ...

Oh it's a cunning plan, but it meant that the pond had to studiously clip out all the video clips and their ads, to be left with distilled essence of pure Henry ...

Already the reptile strategy is clear enough - note the shortness of the gobbet, just as our Henry would usually but just warming up - but what could the pond do as a replacement strategy? 

There seemed to be only one solution, run a cartoon on an entirely unrelated matter, though perhaps with a genteel hint of distilled essence of Oreo ...

 

By golly, this could work. By studiously ignoring our Henry, and inserting cartoons, the pond could almost fully replicate the reptile experience ...

 

The pond isn''t quite sure why our Henry is worried about dementia, not that it's a joking matter as the pond feels it creeping in day after day ...

But surely there are still ways for sufferers to cope. Why some even get a highly paid government job, miss all the briefings they want to, watch plenty of television, are addicted to junk food in the Oreo way, and can still sit on a buggy to do a round of golf ...

 

Well, maybe not everybody can get so lucky, but still it helps the pond avoid solving the mystery of how our Henry hasn't caught up with Killer Creighton and Butcher Bolter ...

Note: 40 per cent of aged-care home residents die within nine months. The average stay is just under three years.
So Victoria’s bans are doing huge damage to — essentially — save aged-care residents from dying a few months earlier.

But why argue when we're not so long from the next cartoon?

Should the pond keep up with the conspiracy jokes to butter up to the Oreo? 

 

Or should it do a Stephen Miller cartoon?

 

Whatever, the pond has reached the final Henry gobbet ...

 

 Whatever ...

Note: 40 per cent of aged-care home residents die within nine months. The average stay is just under three years.
So Victoria’s bans are doing huge damage to — essentially — save aged-care residents from dying a few months earlier. 

What a strange thing it must be, to be a reptile, and write a reptile column ...while apparently completely oblivious to others in the reptile world, or to the real world beyond ...

But as the Oreo mentioned vaccines, why not celebrate with the immortal Rowe, with more Rowe here ...