This is much easier to accomplish than some might imagine, because the pond relies on stout-hearted reptiles, who are much more useful than sleeping pills, and possibly less harmful.
Who has not nodded off to a restful sleep the moment that our prattling Polonius hovers into view … and if the topic should be the joys of British royalty, and a crowned Australian republic, thanks be unto Flinty, the sheep rush into view for the counting …
Shouldn't that have read "without the Murdochians on board"? Who could imagine life in Murdoch la la land without the latest doings of the Royals? What a blessing and a boon, be it a Prince Chuck or a Prince Andrew ...
In the United States, the Daily Beast probably gets half its hits from its fascination with the Royals, and so it is here to ...
Of course Polonius is dissembling, in his usual way, because the canny honest John made sure he split the Republican cause between those willing to accept politicians appointing a fellow chum to head the nation, and Australian voters having a direct say in it … and Malware didn't just manage to fuck the NBN, he was a dab hand at fucking up the republican cause too …
And now the Queen has shown she too knows what to do with unsightly affairs …
But back to Polonius, who will soon get around to explaining that he's an elitist, and isn't the slightest bit interested in average Australians having a say in who might be the titular head of the country ….
But first we must endure the usual history lesson … in which Polonius prattles in a way that suggests he might be a closet monarchist ...
Ah, thank the sweet absent lord, quality Polonial blather about Iraq andy Afghanistan - astonishing successes - binding dinkums to dear old Blighty, just like the crispy bacon we had before the war …
And never mind good old Prince Andrew …
More Graudian cartoons here ...
Speaking of the proles and plebs, it's on with the real reason that Polonius decided to go there … another chance to take a dig at Malware ...
Uh huh …there's a sweet irony in Polonius berating multi-millionaires and wealthy activists and bandana wearers, because when it comes to the crunch, it turns out that Polonius really can't stand the thought of the hoi polloi, the vulgarians, the swine, the common herd, the rabble, the dregs, the canaille, the riff raff, having a vote in the matter ...
Indeed, indeed, in a democracy, the last thing you want is people voting … or even wondering about the answer to very tricky questions …
But this is merely base camp to a pond Sunday meditation …
There are resolute, hearty souls who insist on getting up, bouncing about and irritating the heck out of people who just want to stay in bed a little longer …
They need a full dose to help them quieten down … and if there's a mouse stirring in the house after a serve of nattering "Ned", why then SloMo's rapture will surely come by Xmas …
The pond realises the challenge, and has put in a stock of cartoons to make it seem a little easier … even if they have nothing to do with what "Ned" is scribbling about (the pond knew it shouldn't have ran with all those immortal Rowe and infallible Pope cartoons yesterday) ...
Oh for fuck's sake, who would be so clueless as to trust the world's greatest climate scientist, the redhead, and Lambie, and think the cat was in the bag?
If you're that dumb, you deserve everything you get …though perhaps the pond is only inspired by blogger envy …
Sheesh, another chance to monetize the blog gone missing … perhaps a cartoon celebrating bankruptcy instead?
Okay, now it's on with the whining and the moaning, the keening and the wailing, and nattering "Ned's" patented display of sackcloth and ashes ...
Indeed, indeed, fancy talking about Westpac … we all know where the reptiles stand … with Moorice and big coal and big banks and big bananas and big sheep and big prawns …
And how lucky the pond had one spare Rowe to hand …
And now back to baying for the right sort of blood, and with a bonus Lobbecke …
What's this? Talk of good faith? Does that involve a trip with a Sydney City Council member?
As Humpty Dumpty might say, there's good faith and integrity for you … here, have a cartoon full of integrity …
Well the pond promised cartoons, and the odd aside, but there's no disguising it, the slog stays endless ...
Being a Sydneysider at the moment, with Tamworth long abandoned, the pond sometimes pauses to marvel, as country folk are wont to do, at the sight of the instant slums that litter the Sydney skyline …
The reptiles never ever carry on about the developers, the filthy rich developers, who are busy building these instant slums …
Though they could run a story a day about developers, somehow, for some obscure reason that escapes the pond, it's always about the wrong doing of the unions, and nary a word about the developers … and yet …
It will be noted that there's not one reptile story in that random page one google list of stories about instant Sydney slums being built … with defects and fraudulent behaviour rampant … and mug punters stiffed, and with bugger all by way of recourse ...
But don't expect any of that to get a run while nattering "Ned" settles into his familiar groove ...
Uh huh … go tell that to a Sydney property developer, or anyone contemplating the shameless behaviour of the big banks …
Here, if you're getting thirsty from the endless journey, have a swig on a cartoon …
And now for another tipple of "Ned" …with lashings of paranoia … and blather about populist conservative media commentators, as if the lizard Oz had none of them, and the Murdochians were but lilies of the field ...
"Can send?" And how many bank executives have been sent to jail for 15 years? As always, the pond consulted the google machine, and came up with nostalgia …
"Could"? "Can"? So why isn't anyone in jail?
Well they might get there in the end, but the pond senses that when it comes to telling the truth, or getting cash in the paw, the paw wins every time …
And now it's back for another "Ned" moan, though surely even the hardiest soul has nodded off, as "Ned" froths and foams about sundry betrayals …
Well yes, because you'll never find "Ned" nattering at length about the sins and crimes of developers, bank executives or such like, nor any of the other reptiles for that matter … it's always the pesky, difficult unionists, seemingly the font of everything wrong in the world, though much diminished in membership and power, and degutted even more by the rampant mischief unleashed by the gig economy … and that produces a final irony ...
Past conflict, not future prospects? So what about the gig economy, and the transfer of public wealth to private company subsidy? What happens to young people screwed by the old routine of 'independent contractor?'
Again the google machine suggests a few topics that "Ned" might have profitably nattered about …
But that requires a backbone, and when it comes to talking about future prospects, and what's actually happening in the world, old dodderers of the nattering "Ned" school have none …
Instead, all the reptiles routinely offer is a dumpster fire …
Well, you haven't left much that's needing to be said in this round, DP. All done and dusted.
ReplyDeleteBut may I interpolate just a couple of small points: when dealing with I-Fvck-Everything-I-Touch Turnbull, one should always celebrate his wondrous business career with Goldman Sachs Australia. And particularly in the matter of the HIH failure. According to wikipedia:
"In May 2002, Turnbull appeared before the HIH Insurance royal commission to be questioned on Goldman Sachs's involvement in the possible privatisation of one of the acquisitions of the collapsed insurance company. The Royal Commissioner's report made no adverse findings against him or Goldman Sachs, however, Turnbull was one of nine defendants who settled later litigation over the collapse in undisclosed payments, thought to be worth as much as $500m."
Just as well Mad Mal is a very rich man, isn't it.
And then we have Nodding(off) Neddy: "If you want to get depressed about Australian politics, then read the pages of hysteria dished up in this debate."
No thanks, Neddie old mate, I got depressed about Australian politics roughly 55 years ago. Do you remember some blokes called Whitlam, Fraser and Kerr ? But also I just don't get how the "parliament lost its integrity" just because some LNP wingnuts can't communicate effectively and think that a nod is as good as a wink. Please explain.
Polonius is such a fuckwit: so a popular monarch doesn't matter in Britain because they're stuck with the Battenburgs? That sounds very much like he's an enabler. He doesn't care whether it's a good or a bad thing, but please, please don't let it stop.
ReplyDeleteThe shallow turd.