In which the pond can't go past the Utegate man and Dame Slap down from the land above the faraway tree ...

It just so happens that the dog botherer coincides with the pond's weekly outings, and so each weekend, the pond counts its blessings.

It's a chance to stay inside with the dog botherer's smoke haze, while avoiding the haze currently covering Sydney's west … (the pond was on the north shore yesterday looking at the haze stretching to the Blue Mountains and even the Murdochians couldn't match that level of haze).

But why should the dog botherer be so anxious about prime Angus beef and his #Taylorgate scandal?

Well long ago in a very strange land …

Well not quite Pat, so it's easy to see why that tweet tried to disappear, but even so the pond is tremendously disappointed that Utegate seems to have disappeared from public awareness, because not only is the dog botherer an epic climate science denialist, and was a minor war criminal helping fuck over Iraq, he was also at the centre of Utegate, which bless its fucked-over Malware pickled socks, has its own quite lengthy wiki here …

Oh it was a fine old affair, full of fun and frolic …

Never mind, let past dog botherer glories lie, because it's on with that prime Angus beef scandal … and the dog botherer's anxiety-laden defence ...

What? No fond memories of Utegate? And that's the best snap of the prime Angus beef chewing his cud that the reptiles could find?

But the pond was pleased that the dog botherer was doing fine service by drawing attention to #Taylorgate, wherein could be found many fine treasures …

Naturally the pond gravitated to the sillier selections ...

After grazing at #Taylorgate, the pond was well satisfied, but still the dog botherer kept drawing attention to it ...

Check People magazine? In preference to discussing the matter with Wolf? Only a climate science denialist, minor war criminal and Utegate man could produce that distilled essence of fuckwittery …

It's all here in the Graudian and it's just too silly for words, with the Wolf not at the door so much as on a thirty minute phone call, and Michelle Grattan in The Conversation wondering why SloMo  didn't seize the chance to put the prime Angus beef out to pasture …

But as Utegate showed, it can take a long time to die a political death … though if you've got the dog botherer in your tent, praise the lord and pass the ammunition ...

"Mistake"? Well, it's easy to understand how the dog botherer of Utegate fame could call it a "mistake", but the reptiles themselves claimed to have discovered how it happened …

He'll remain in the office? How they love mischief and sublime incompetence.

As for improperly using improper figures, only the dog botherer could find that proper … o

Oh how he stays true to his Utegate yearnings … because he tries to double down, all in the aid of his climate science denialism ...

The muck thrown his way? But he threw the muck in the first place, and he got the muck wrong …

Well there's more Rowe here, but the pond just needed some relief before a last dogbotherer attempt at humour and irony ...

Hang on a mo, wait a jiffy, half a tic, did the dog botherer just spend all this time mocking those who accept the implications of climate science for daring to travel by air, and then blithely note that the disbelieving prime Angus beef is flying to Madrid to air his denialism and frustrate proceedings?

Minister, please make a perfect call …

And so to the bonus piece for the day, and the pond really couldn't go past Dame Slap, down from Planet Janet, the land above the faraway tree …

There's really quite nothing like Dame Slap celebrating fundamentalist nonsense and prime bigotry ...

It seems the yearning for homophobia and such like is strong in Dame Slap … she loves distilled essence of Old Testament follies, and silly suggestions that the bush fires are God's punishment, and other jolly japes amongst bum-sniffing manly chums with imaginary friends ...

But hang on, hang on, why should the size of the settlement, or the money matter at all? Is money how your average fundamentalist measures soul and connection to imaginary friend?

Ah fuck it, and after a perfect score and a big shakedown, I have to give it all away?

 Sheesh, but that was a lot of shekels, see how Dame Slap gloats at the shekels, and never mind the eye of the needle and the camel and all that imaginary friend stuff … it's money, money, money ...

Indeed, indeed, because homophobia should be welcome everywhere, and let's face it, poofters caused the bush fires by getting God angry, and She can be a real bitch sometime …

Is there another Xmas miracle in the house?

Sorry, the pond just needed a little light relief, there's nothing like keeping people in cages to lift the Xian spirit at Xmas time, but now it's back to Dame Slap in full bigoted flight ...

Actually if the pond might be so bold, having a go at Islamics for their attitude to homosexuality, or say the barbarity of Saudi Arabia, is a routine thing for the reptiles … it's only when the similarly silly Xians get going that they flinch from the flame of righteousness …

Could it be that all forms of fundamentalism should be deplored? What happens when someone looms up over Dame Slap in the reptile bunker, and says "bitch, you're going to hell, and I hope you deep fry for a fucking eternity." Is that what the reptiles want in their workplace?

Who knows, who cares, the pond just happened to like this infallible Pope reminder of the strange garb adopted by fundamentalists …

You know, in the old days, when the pond grew up, conservatives insisted on politeness, at least in public. Sure, men might congregate in the front bar and make crude jokes, and fundamentalists might convene in churches and damn everyone to hell, but it was considered rude to do that sort of thing in public. Cussing was verboten, and condemning people was considered tacky and tasteless, with gossip and smear behind closed doors the way to do it …

These days, it seems that the reptiles want a society filled with hate and abuse, and sundry forms of bigotry designed to tear down anyone different …and not just done discreetly with a black ball stopping a Jew from getting into the Melbourne club, but in your face delusional piety of the most offensive kind … and if you happen to be a brainless thugby player, so much the better, because everybody's being shut up, though somehow no one manages to shut up Dame Slap and the rest of the chairman's minions ...

Oh fucketty fuck, "today's most excluded and persecuted group, Pentecostal Christians."

And who leads the country?

And who does he hang around with?

In September, The Wall Street Journal reported Mr Morrison asked for Mr Houston to be part of the official delegation, but this request was rejected by the White House ahead of the visit. Mr Houston – who Scott Morrison once described as his mentor - was criticised by the Royal Commission into the Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse for failing to tell police his father was a self-confessed child abuser. (SBS here)

And how weird does it get?

No, that's not weird, merely tragic, just one more example of all that persecution and exclusion bemoaned by Dame Slap. Too extreme for the Donald? How weird? What a waste of a MAGA cap. 

One more time …just how weird does it get?

Sorry, you'll need to be able to get past the Crikey paywall for more,  but surely the point's clear from that short gobbet ...there's your outcast fundamentalists suffering in the wilderness …

And now it wouldn't be Dame Slap if she didn't do a climate thingie like the dog botherer …

Graudian here.

But did someone mention the Bolter?

Sorry, but there was Chairman Rupert saying him and his climate science denialism didn't exist …

And so to the final, mercifully short Dame Slap gobbet ...

Oh rapture, oh bliss, oh poop, oh joy, a most magnificent triumph, and a chance for homophobia and bigotry to flourish in the land … and soon enough we might well return to the days of chemical castration, abortions with a coat hanger, and private eyes snapping fornicators in motel rooms …and Elmer Gantrys roaming the land, berating all, and building crystal palaces, and celebrating get rich quick schemes, and tossing the camel and the needle aside, and all will be well ...

It's such a splendid Slapian vision …so splendid the pond felt the need for a final infallible Pope …