In its quest for the funniest headlines of the reptile week, the pond studiously ignored Troy's trolling …relevancy deprivation syndrome can only be encouraged for so long …
Oh, the night they drove the onion muncher down, all the dames and knights were singing …
In much the same way, the pond managed to step around another old favourite, Moorice, in full cry …
Oh, the night they drove the onion muncher down, all the dames and knights were singing …
In much the same way, the pond managed to step around another old favourite, Moorice, in full cry …
Ah, good old globalist cant … and the Donald standing up to it …
And the pond has no award category for sycophantic, hagiographic arse licking, there being so many reptile contenders and so many reptile winners …
Sucking up to SloMo, bouffant one? That's nothing, try sucking up to Pauline in dog botherer style, and you'll see how to do a fair suck of the sycophantic sauce bottle...
The dog botherer gone full Hanson! The pond is amazed that he should spare some ink on such a radical progressive ...
And the Folau matter staggered on, with a shock and horror story that struck at the heart of perfidy and treachery …why, it was worth a couple of goes ...
Only in the lizard Oz, but this week, it was climate that was all the go.
The reptiles were rattled and furious, and the pond accumulated a dozen stories of rage and fury …with that heathen heretic, the eastern suburbs ponce, out and about, speaking with forked tongue …
The reptiles were rattled and furious, and the pond accumulated a dozen stories of rage and fury …with that heathen heretic, the eastern suburbs ponce, out and about, speaking with forked tongue …
How dare he! The man who brought the onion muncher down, and all the dames and the knights were singing, they went la lah la lah la …
Yes, it was climate that got the reptiles singing furiously … just look at Friday's digital edition, and the thought that young alien might even score a gong …
Talk about a total freak out. A bloody New Zealander and a mutant from the north!
And hapless Elyse had to do an explainer for the elderly folk who make up the rag's demographic about this wretched bloody extinction mob, carrying on like a Folau blathering about the rapture …
Apparently the poor elderly things aren't able to get the good oil from the tree killer edition …it's left to the likes of Crikey to marvel at the sort of advertising the desperate reptiles will accept these days ...
And hapless Elyse had to do an explainer for the elderly folk who make up the rag's demographic about this wretched bloody extinction mob, carrying on like a Folau blathering about the rapture …
Apparently the poor elderly things aren't able to get the good oil from the tree killer edition …it's left to the likes of Crikey to marvel at the sort of advertising the desperate reptiles will accept these days ...
But the reptiles had no need of the Climate Study Group. They had the Mocker, and the mutton Dutton and their very own dog botherer …
And so, just to make life interesting, to get to the dog botherer in full flight, the pond went back a couple of days to good old Henry, channeling, and standing column to column, with the mutton Dutton …
Our Henry wasn't worried about the hole in the bucket, he was agitated about the shaming of the universe, though the pond always finds it marvellous how in retrospect, the reptiles discover heroes amongst those most hated by their comrades at the time …
Now all those links are dead, it being a screen cap,, but just as well, because who, in the name of humanity, would want to provide an active link to Kerri-Anne, best remembered as the mis-spelled title of a Hollies' song …talk about an island of nightmares.
But that flurry of links shows just how recent events have got under the reptile skin, and how a gaggle of reptile lemmings have lined up to join the agitation … though few of them have the splendid illustration offered to our Henry … with that portrait of Gandhi somewhere to the north of Bill Leak at his racist best ...
Indeed, indeed, and the pond blames Rosa Parks for refusing to sit up the back of the bus in the coloured section, though everyone knows that all the cool kids sit up the back so they can create mischief, and so how right and just it was for her to cop a ten dollar fine, with four dollar court costs …and how wrong of her to make a fuss about it.
Fancy not following our Henry on insisting that breaking unsatisfactory laws is entirely unsatisfactory …
And so just to emphasise the rampant danger in our midst, the reptiles felt the need to interrupt Henry's outrage at Rose Parks' law-breaking ways with a photo of the dangerous, mindless herd, ruining everything for everyone, or at least the mutton Dutton … and after that - look, see how they preen and parade - can that dangerous young alien be far from a good old-fashioned Henry thrashing?
And there, comrades, speaks a complacent old reptile fart of the most condescending, desiccated kind …and it put the pond in need of a Rowe cartoon, with more Rowe here …
And with that tribute to angry, defiant Angus out of the way, the pond ploughed on ...
Who knew that our Henry had gone full Freudian? But the pond took heart that there was only one gobbet to go, in which our Henry might let loose with a passionate 'lock 'em up' of the Donald or mutton Dutton kind ...
Yes, lock that bloody Rosa Parks up and what a difference there would have been!
And so to the dog botherer, and the pond is pleased to advise coeliacs that this column contains absolutely no gluten and is free of all contaminating science …though the pond makes no quality assurances regarding toxic verbal sludge ...
And so to the dog botherer, and the pond is pleased to advise coeliacs that this column contains absolutely no gluten and is free of all contaminating science …though the pond makes no quality assurances regarding toxic verbal sludge ...
Okay, you've already read it all in our Henry, but the pond assures restless stray readers that the dog botherer will burst into his usual weekend litany, so it's not just the anarchists that will cup a smiting and a smoting … anyone to the left of Pauline will be in the firing line …all the usual reptile suspects ...
Ah how the reptiles and the denialists seized on that Pitman quote, and then the poor prof decided to say a few other things, but too late for the dog botherer, and too irrelevant …
How global warming and drought interact is really complex and to understand it you need to get down and dirty in the detail, which you can find below. If you google links between global warming and drought you will discover statements like: “Higher average temperatures will increase the amount of water lost to evaporation and reduce soil moisture. This means more rainfall will be absorbed into the soil, resulting in less runoff, reduced river flows and less water being stored and regulated by dams.” The above quote comes from the Murray-Darling Commission.
This statement links higher average temperatures with higher evaporation and lower soil moisture. Why?
Oh fuck it, the pond promised no science, and yet here's a genuine lump of gluten ...
Sweet long absent lord, how the pond hated algebra and quadratic equations and logarithms, and now they ruin the pond's life with tasty YouTube links and scientific gibberish, and there's a lot more of it here …
What a relief it is to put aside clever people who can do maths and such like, and turn back to a good old fashioned fuckwit of the dog bothering kind …lathering up the usual standard reptile loon conspiracy theories ...
Yes, we're back where we started, with our Henry and Rosa sitting in the back of the bus … and so on with the litany ...
Luckily the pond had one more Rowe cartoon set aside, and it being an emergency, the pond broke the glass …
Yes, it's been that sort of week, and what a fine visual summary of the flurry of follies …
The reptiles proved incapable of keeping calm and climating on … but at least there was only one gobbet of dog botherer blather to go ... will he resist including the ABC in his litany?
Why that's a bit like asking if the dog botherer is a fuckwit. There can be only one answer, a resounding yes … watch out Barrie, he's coming for ya ...
Amen to that brother.
What a winner the Donald has turned out to be. So much winning, the Kurds can't get enough of the winning, just as the entire planet is a winner, and well might we all wonder when all this relentless winning will end.
Luckily the pond had an infallible Pope to hand, to celebrate all the winning …
Now just remember, hapless dandelion seeds … your place is at the back of the bus … if you happen to be lucky enough to find a bus that'll take you …or, as you die, you might just give thanks to the dog botherer and the Donald for all that winning …
And so much winning on the climate too …
And so much winning on the climate too …
Oh dear: "Bring back knights and dames: Abbott"
ReplyDeleteHe really, really is a sad sack lost case, isn't he. And of course he wouldn't be expecting anybody to "knight" him, would he.
Moorice: "Stand up to globalist cant ... Morrison and Trump are right to stand up to the undermining of essential freedoms."
Yeah, like the freedom to have an Earthly environment that your kids and grandkids (and their dogs and cats and horses and ..) will be able to survive and live in.
And now Henry the Ergass: "It is, as a result, solely if the core political rights required for "democratic will formation" are threatened that civil disobedience can be justified."
One might just be tempted to think that a world that one's species can survive in might just be a prerequisite for "democratic will formation". But then again, there's a heap of law in the books that I, and you, and mine, and yours, are expected to obey that we've never voted for or even been asked about. And even more heaps we don't even know about - unless or until somebody arrests us for violating it. Does that constitute "democratic will formation".
Laudie, but Henry Dear Henry is a sad bundle of senescence these days.
But then you had to go on and drag the Doggy Bov in, didn't you: "Greens harness the power of anarchy to get what they want."
Yep, that's anarchy, defined as "a state of disorder due to absence or non-recognition of authority or other controlling systems." Yep that's good ol' Oz, ennit: a state of total anarchic disorder.
Strewth but they get worse and more repetitive by the week, don't they.
No Kohlberg's on Gilligan's Island?
DeleteNot quite sure that there's much Kohlberg or Gilligan anywhere, Anony. Thankfully.
DeleteDunno if either actually helps us to resolve the Trolley problem.
But I do like the idea of equating 'morality' to an axiom set (deontology without the deity) because, of course, post Goedel, we know that all axiom sets of at least minimal complexity are either incomplete or self-contradictory, or both. And thus any defined morality can only ultimately be assessed from a meta-morality. And so on, ad infinitum.
But then, if we're discussing all of that then we've left the Bedbugs and the reptiles behind long ago.
Murdoch's foot soldiers have been told to go out and paint a picture of some sort of insurgency on the left. If any violence or destruction of property was happening we would be hearing about it day and night, but as it stands the protests are as peaceful as they are well-intentioned, which must be frustrating for the reptiles.
ReplyDeleteThe left-right conflict has been very serviceable over the years for Murdoch as his readership grew up in the cold war era, but it seems well past its use-by date nowadays. Pretty hard to paint some kids in fancy dress holding a silent protest as some sort of new red brigade (although they were wearing red when they turned up to a recent council meeting). Also impossible to suggest any equivalence with the sometimes murderous protests on the right.
Well you know Bef that to Murdochians of all persuasions there's only two kinds of people in the universe: us, and them; allies and enemies.
DeleteAnd enemies are always wrong about everything.