Knowing how much the bromancer is adored by all, the pond couldn't resist his special guide to China as a late weekend holiday bonus …
To make it easier, however, the pond suggests playing a game, which might be called "Contradictions" i.e., in all the rules the bromancer lays out in a condescending way for others to follow, are there any indications that the bromancer himself might be inclined not to follow them?
Now the pond is not inclined to do spoilers, even if the game requires some focus on what has been scribbled - you there, with the glazed look, and the dribbling, stay awake - and to help out the dumb, dumb, dumb ones in our midst the pond proposes to provide distractions at regular intervals, a cunning tactic to divert attention away from the game, like when you've stacked Mayfair with all the houses and hotels you can find ...
Uh huh, a calm, peaceful opening gambit, here, have a distraction …
Now there's an extensive preamble the bromancer goes through, but the pond should warn that there are clues scattered through all the text, and it might take a Poirot to spot them (though realistically the bromancer is more into Midsomer style plotting of the small village kind) ...
Now there are a couple of clues in that lot, but the pond must play its own perverse, dumb, dumb, dumb game and offer some verbal confusion and distraction …
Yes, it's a word game salad, and the bromancer knows how to whip up just the right mix of oil and vinegar ...
Finally we get to the rules, and the first few provide some promising clues … but the pond must insist on a distraction …
Now back to the game ...
Ah, digital culture, the reptiles' mortal enemy … and now the pond must give at least one part of the game away … but not before offering a metaphorical distraction …
Shoot someone? Tone down your language ...
Did you spot it in Rule Four?
"Tone down your language"? Sound like an "opinion page columnist"?
You know …
Uh huh …
Now into that dog's breakfast of toned down word salads, you can throw "wrong, divisive and insulting", "illogical and silly", "no glimmer of sense", "egregious offence", "dreadful embrace of identity politics," "just as rotten a tactic" (irony alert), "wretched second-rate rhetoric", "defaming Australian citizens," "polarising the Australian community", "Dumb. Dumb. Dumb." (No, the pond will not argue that 'Dumb and Dumber' is more correct) …"foolish", "these comments were stupid and disgraceful", "baseless concerns", "suffer cognitive dissonance, chronic compartmentalisation and functional schizophrenia …
The pond could go on, but that would involve extracting words from the gobbets below, which is a bit like going down into the fruit cellar with a barking mad Tony Perkins …and the pond has already copped a gob flu of the tone …
Yes, all the pond and the bromancer have done is suggest, in the most superficial way, for those without a glimmer of sense, how they might tone down their language, dumb fuckers that they are …
And so to more rules, which hopefully can be broken with as much vigour as that pesky blather about tone ...
Yes, yes, hopefully by now everybody's into the swing of it, and those who started with rule nine might well have some splendid fun going through tracking the dog botherer's use of 'relationship', which ranges from its use in rule 10 to its previous appearance in rule six, where the idea of cultivating a good relationship is deemed problematic because of assorted pitfalls …
Here, have another word salad cartoon …
Now the pond knows by this stage some might have even decided they should get into the re-write business, as in ...
Rule 14: Listen to lizard Oz journalists on the specifics of what Chairman Rupert wants but don't ever let them set the tone politically for the relationship, which we all know is a waste of time generally anyway, because if you talk of the relationship, they'll do you over, but that said, remember the lizard Oz political judgment is generally rotten (but please maintain that even keel of modulated tone when speaking of them), and they generally have no very deep institutional commitment to liberal democratic values - just watch Fox and Friends for a nanosecond - while their understanding of security, beyond News Corp's, is extremely thin...
This might be best said with a curl of the lips and a superior Rees-Smogg sneer, though a smugly superior bromancer smile, it can be argued, would suffice ...
Of course, none of this solves the problem that some have with the bromancer …
But wait, a final thought.
You know what happens when someone tells you not to go into the briar patch? You immediately want to run into the thickest, densest spot, and do something naughty …
More dumb dumb dumb figures here …
Well, the pond trusts that everyone will keep playing the game - the pond was careful not to do too many spoilers, and instead would like to wrap up with a few more word salad cartoons …
And that will have to serve as the pond's reminder to angry Sydney Anglicans that soon Satanists will be stalking a street near them doing the Devil's work …
Burn the demanding, greedy wretches, with their misleading, deceptively innocent eyes, at the stake, the pond says ...
Well the Bromancer's rant initially reminded me of some fine folk wisdom that was abroad in my much younger years: "I've got plenty of nothing, and nothing's plenty for me". (As finely delivered by Robert Todd Duncan back in 1935, though I only finally caught up with Robert McFerrin's rendition in the 1959 movie 'Porgy and Bess'. Aah, nostalgia).
ReplyDeleteBut no, that's just hubris; the Bromancer and indeed all reptiles, has a finely accumulated and developed catalogue of misconceptions, misunderstandings and generally injudicious doltishness that they generously project onto the rest of us.
Though I confess that I am quite puzzled as to how they can be so capable of itemising such deeply subconscious failings so as to comprehensively "project" them onto the rest of us. Because of course, that is what the Bromancer is doing here. And it's probably worth mounting and framing as a particularly mindless example thereof.
However, taking his first "projection" about the 1.2 million whose ethnicity should never be mentioned, I live in an electorate which contains quite a lot of "those people". And along with a lot of them, I too voted for one of the 1.2 million; and between her and another of that persuasion plus the Greens candidate, that accounted for 85.2% of the votes cast. There was no Hanson candidate, and the Palmer (United Australia) candidate managed to attract the gigantic total of 1.6% of the votes. Ca va.
And if you'd like to know what a 'high immigrant' district looks like:
DeleteThis suburb's been called mini-Shanghai. But there's more to the story
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-10-28/australia-talks-do-immigrants-try-hard-enough-to-fit-in/11611854
Just as well that I do like Asian food, isn't it.
A bit off topic I suppose, but The Believe in Freedom 2020 Trump Calendar makes all other Trump cartoons look like flyspecks. You can zoom in to some extent, but the caption is only available for July. The others can be a bit puzzling but the idea is clear, unless it's a hoax. I could almost spend $20 to find out.
ReplyDeleteI think the Bro's rules can be summed up thus: there is good and bad in everyone
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZtiJN6yiik