In which the pond goes punk with Dame Slap, and that somehow fixes the middle east with the dog botherer

 

So long ago, was it a Monday dream? Monday, Monday …can't trust that day, sometimes it just turns out that way … whenever Monday comes, you can find the pond cryin' all the time ...

For a moment, way back when, there was a strange Monday bliss … a silence of the lambs … with the reptiles raging in the digital edition …

And yet within the day, it was back to business, and the Caterist was front and centre, and tucked down in the corner was the diligent bouffant one beavering away for our local Der Stürmer …

"Campaign speaks truth to power" nestling up against "No sign of buyer remorse over PM"?

Only in the la la land of the lizard Oz … and all the usual ratbags were back in force on the Monday …

Sheesh, the recalcitrant dog botherer, the deeply weird Oreo, and the Major blathering like Sergeant Friday about just getting the climate denialist facts ...

And then the bouffant one kept up a steady hagiographic stream during the week …

Truth to power? Fawn to power, more like it, and this in a week where pure Angus beef displayed at best, astonishing incompetence, but more likely, at worst, a sublime capacity for doing a fraudulent, dissembling, meretricious plane travelgate …

Is it any wonder that through the week the pond kept a metaphorical texta handy? (The pond leaves its supply of Sharpies to the Donald, because the United States' borders are in urgent need of some work…)

What's the fuss? A black line will fix it …

Oh it's been a kiddingly week, but the pond must now get down to business, and what better way to start than a ramble through Dame Slap's enduring impression of a far away land above the tree Planet Janet …

What a tragedy the Artline was in the other room …but then there was something so hugely funny about Dame Slap going full Sex Pistols, or perhaps The Who in the golden days of the mods and the rockers, and what a ripper illustration the reptiles dug up to get the folly on the road ...

Now right from the get go, it's a nonsense, because the punks might have fought the law, but they didn't win. Instead they got the well-groomed Dame Slap, hauling down a hefty monthly fee for spewing verbiage … aimed at mocking diversity, tolerance and justice, deplorable attributes when rampaging bigotry, hate, fear mongering, loathing, MAGA worshipping and climate science denialism are much better ways to fill in column space …

Never mind, the pond could feel a reliable litany coming on … the same old stuff the Dame hacks up and out on a weekly basis, even when tripe shouldn't be served cold ...

It was da punk? And there was the pond, trained to think it had all been the work of Ronnie Raygun …

Well there's nothing like modern day punkistas to show where we've reached with that revolution …

Oh pure punk, undiluted, compelling punk, work of sublime Rockwell art punk ...

But back to the delusional …because you know … punks in East Germany … Jordan Peterson …QED!

We know where freedom of opinion gets us these days …

Go at it punks, tear down the walls, except when you need to build a wall …

But enough of irony, because now the punks must swell into a mass movement of dissent in Dame Slap's head, where feeding from the trough is banished in her new world order ...

Did somebody mention totalitarianism?

We'll that's what you get when you don the MAGA cap ...

So Dame Slap has a few regrets, and now has a few doubts?

And if all that doesn't make for high comedy, there's the low comedy of the dog botherer, speaking in his inimitably deranged way of derangement syndrome ...

Actually if the pond might be so bold, and help set the scene, speaking of the biggest US mistake in the Middle East, let us not forget Lord Downer and the dog botherer's part …

Never had any doubts … clear in your head … and of such are delusions made, and live on ...

Actually, there's a middle path that might have been followed …withdrawing troops without dumping allies … but instead we got this …

Sorry, wrong war … we got this …

It's tough having to rationalise policies that were fucked from the very beginning, and you were one of the fuckers doing the fucking ...

Yes, it's all for the best in the best of all possible worlds …

And so to a series of "what ifs", because "what ifs" are all the balm that's available to a minor war criminal trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel ...

Uh huh, a bit like those Kurds, enthusiastically embracing self-determination under constant threat of chaos …

Well, we know where this is heading, because there are minor oilfields to protect - bugger the humanity - and never mind that the policies enacted have been completely incoherent, ad hoc, and futile …

And so it goes …it's all the fault of Obama, as it always is ...

Ah yes, good old George …

Yes, what we need is the sort of bold intervention that Lord Downer and his minion dog botherer so enthusiastically embraced so that the "mission accomplished" sign could be erected … though at least the pond is profoundly grateful to have been spared yet another bout of dog botherer climate science denialism …

So many ways to fuck the planet, so little time for your average delusional lizard Oz scribbler ...

Of course there's an alternative way to look at recent history, and how pleasing it is to see the dog botherer stick to the script …

But as always the pond likes to look on the upside, the silver lining ...

… but sadly the dog botherer remains the worst of the lizard Oz ratbag taggers on the wall of history …