Containing such very deep and grave matters that some readers may relish it ...

The pond likes to start the day with a good news story whenever it comes across one, and surely this story at the former Fairfaxians here is such a one … and if that's a great bringer of joy, why not throw in Foxtel cost-cutting puts rugby, football on edge …

Could that explain why we have the 'sluts for Palmer' paper at it again today, still selling its advertising soul and shilling for Clive's shekels?

To think that poor old Doris's farewell should be surrounded in the canary yellow of a sell-out …

And to make matters worse, Media Watch was kicking the reptile can down the road again yesterday …

Not that the pond needs Rick or Media Watch to see the reptiles in action.

Just look at this effort today, with all the reptiles gathered to show off their bar rackers, furiously barracking away …and this lot didn't even include the parrot, granted space higher up to squawk from his privileged perch ...

So many choices, so little time, but whenever the pond is asked to pick a winner, it always goes with Moorice … and the pond is always right, because the reptiles confirmed the pick by granting Moorice cult status, blessing him with a dire Leak, which confirms that while the apple falls close to the tree, there's no guarantee the apple will have the slightest notion of wit or style …

Oh not 'Xian value's, which apparently is code for undermining, sniping, wrecking, and flat-out lying when naked self-interest and dissembling aren't enough … but as always Moorice plays a top-notch part as a weather cock, and as he blows hard in the wind, the pond thinks this must be a sure sign that things are still very tight in Warringah.

No need for a poll when Moorice's paranoia and outrage, and smiting wildly at enemies says it all …

Um, what's remarkable is the unseemly way that Moorice seems to be celebrating action on an international conspiracy designed to install a world government by Xmas.

There was a time when Moorice would deplore the fake theology of climate science, and denounce the fake news, but now he's boasting about renewable power capacity and rapid renewables deployment rate? All wasted on a deplorable conspiracy?

Phew, things must be really tight in Warringah … so now it's time to attack the voters as mindless morons, a sure way of beguiling them into voting for the onion muncher ...

Yes, young 'uns, cast your mind back to Gough, and whatever you do, please try to avoid thinking about Malcolm Fraser. What's that, you complacent silly young things, you think you see an old fart shouting at you to get off his lawn, or join him in shouting at clouds?

Well think again, because a hard rain is gunna fall if you fail to listen ...

And just what is that hard rain? Well it seems it doesn't matter what the Warringah voters might do, the onion muncher is never going to go away. He's going to be throwing spears and banging on until he dies, or everyone dies of boredom.

He's going to keep on out of parliament? Can't he do anything useful? Even if he's voted out, we must still endure his nattering negativity because the only job he'll likely pick up is scribbling for the reptiles?

Ah well, that certainly matches up to those closing remarks in Media Watch …

Look forward to that memo … the lizards of Oz are proud to welcome the onion muncher into their midst because we can never have enough valiant crusaders celebrating a love of dinkum clean true blue Oz coal, oi, oi, oi ...

But here the pond must pick a bone with Media Watch.

You see, the pond is never loud, and refuses to get louder, except when singing its favourite song, which when hollered in Tamworth yeehah style, goes a little like this …

There's an angry old man waitin' at the counter of the corner shop
Ron's been waitin' down there
Waiting half the day
We never ever see him from the top
He gets pushed around
Knocked to the ground
But he gets to his feet and he says
What about me
It isn't fair
I've had enough now, I want my share
You bloody city 'leets
Can't you see
I wanna live
But you just take more then you give ...

Yes, it's not just Moorice, because that great bush singer Rampant Raging Ronnie Boswell, with his inimitable 'leet stylings, was also at the reptile round table this day, ready to join the crusaders in denouncing those wicked city types, in a desperate bid to get the base all hot and bothered ...

What will the pond do without this Boswell? Is this how Samuel Johnson must have felt? Suddenly we're in a guessing game with Boswell the sage? Yet somehow magically he provides his own answers, making the guessing game entirely pointless.

Instead of this sort of rhetorical trick, which might have worked in primary school, shouldn't our Boswell have taken a cue from John Oliver, doing a full-blown rant, helped by Bill Nye letting fly ...

Safety glasses back on, because there's more moaning and whining from our Boswell ...

Yes, never mind the planet, never mind Moorice talking up all the splendid actions already being taken, our Boswell is full of doom, gloom and despair, and it's all the fault of bloody city folk … because, you know, Qantas and Virgin are about to set up their HQ in Tamworth, which has never been the same since East-West Airlines left the scene …

Oh if only things never changed, if only we could stay in the 1950s with Moorice and our Boswell ...

Good old Ron, at least he stays true as a dedicated climate science denialist, unlike that fickle Moorice pretending that something's being done, when every reptile knows the crusader line is that it's a theological hoax designed to install world government as soon as comrade Bill gets the keys to the Lodge …

And what do you know, it seems that Rowe has anticipated the result, with the sale of the Lodge hopefully helping to revive the housing boom in this lost, suffering country …

Well there's more Rowe here, and the infallible Pope is also interested in housing, with more papal encyclicals here..