In which the Sunday meditation spins out of control with nattering "Ned" and prattling Polonius ...

The pond approached Sunday meditation time with some hesitation this weekend, what with the reptiles producing some epic stories with a religious angle …

First up came the singular ability of the reptiles to discover Xian suffering …as if anyone peddling grotesque images of a shameful rip-off industry trading dreams and delusions for cash deserved sympathy …

Oh for the good old days when the pond might wander into an Xian bakery and demand a cake covered with "God is Dead, or so Nietzsche said," and see what happened.

Instead yesterday the reptiles made this a top of the page story, the work of a lesser member of the Kelly gang …

Actually a magazine called "White" has a problem right there in its name, and any sense of sympathy vanished when the reptiles followed up with a photo designed to trigger the pond's hostility to the wedding industry, but which also raised questions which the reptiles refused to answer until much later in the piece … a classic example of click bait behaviour ...

Yes, it was all designed as a plea for more fundamentalist bigotry and homophobia to do the rounds … yet here's the thing.

When the pond wanders into St Vinnies to check out assorted second hand goods, no one asks the pond if it's a raging fundamentalist atheist with a deep hostility to all religions, and once this is established, refuses the pond access to all the wonders the local St Vinnies offers … and you might even see the odd tranny or gay person on the staff. Expert shoppers assure the pond that St Luke's Op shop in Enmore road also doesn't ask about shoppers sexual status or theological beliefs, but why should they? How else is the pond going to score some cheap literature of a dubious kind?

 

What next? Well we're sure to be an Orwellian nightmare, an Orwellian nightmare produced by fundamentalist bigoted Xians refusing to go along with the old motto of 'live and let live', and if in the game of goods and services, serve up the goods and services without discrimination ...

Once the reptiles published that photo from a magazine with a name that the pond found risible, the matter was settled.

Anyone who thought a magazine peddling that as a decent representation of Xianity - no wonder Christ never got married to one of his disciples - at a time when hard copy magazines are dropping like flies, deserve all they get.

If you've got a small circulation, and you want to start picking your own tribe, good luck with that as a business strategy.

Never mind, even if the pond thinks they should have been punished, not so much for the bigotry and the homophobia, but for joining in the game of ripping off thousands and thousands out of silly young things for 'cherished moment' snaps, when they're likely to end up in the divorce courts anyway (data here) … and when they might be better off bunging on a modest do, joining the 76% of marriages performed by civil celebrants in 2016, or doing a wedding in the style of that socialist Jesus. (Never mind the polygamy and the arranged marriages).

And there's the rub.  Did "White" magazine (apparently they hadn't heard that terrible song about black and white ivories) take a view on civil celebrations as well? Who knows, because naturally they avoided codifying their bigotry and homophobia ...

Here's the thing. It's just a goods and services issue. If you're going to construct a business model offering (unstated, silent) bigotry and prejudice, expect some customers to be unhappy. That's life, and the alternative would be an Orwellian nightmare where the pond couldn't turn up at St Vinnies … though you won't find the average Catholic shop making the mistake of turning away Satanists or the atheistic, sexually ambivalent pond … they're much too canny for that …

So  what was the real reason for the pond's agitation?

Well this was really just a silly reptile distraction, and there was still nattering "Ned" and prattling Polonius left unattended in the aisle, and how wrong is that?

There was something of a smack-down going on, what with "Ned" taking one view, and Polonius wanting to do the full "rage at the Islamics to score cheap political points" routine …

 

The pond has no time for Islamic fundamentalism, but it also has no time for the anti-Islamic hypocrites, especially all those hard-core warriors who nonetheless manage to turn the other cheek, and find a little room for a thuggish, murdering Saudi Arabian crown prince with sociopathic tendencies …and cheerfully stand alongside the Donald when it comes to that barbaric kingdom ...

But then the pond also has no room for Catholic fundamentalists of the prattling Polonius kind … c.f. a recent story in the New York Review of Books recent story by Alexander Stille, The Sins of Celibacy, luckily outside the paywall for the moment here …

What a sordid, dismal, wretched institution it is, but meanwhile, the pond had reptile duties and burdens, and could see no way out except to trudge through the endless musings on hand …

Ah, a genuine nightmare, and one caused by ScoMo's remarkably stupid attempt to sway votes in a by-election with a thought bubble, and yet hadn't the reptiles, and so the pond, celebrated the remarkably stupid bromancer celebrating the remarkably stupid ScoMo?

A strong start, hey?

Who knows? Who knows why the bromancer kisses ScoMo's bum on an almost daily basis?

Passing strange, because somehow the bromancer bobs up in nattering "Ned's" next par ...

Yep, suddenly the recalcitrant one is back centre stage, and ScoMo's speaking in tongues has given the bigot a chance to renew his old crusade, and all for what? So that ScoMo might experiment with the Trumpian brand of dinkum true blue MAScoMoGA?

Around this point the pond began to wonder if "Ned" had stopped drinking the kool aid and reading the bromancer, a'hootin' and a a'hollerin' like an extra in a Coen brothers' western …

You see, the bromancer was gung ho in his usual way, and to hell with the consequences only a few days ago ...

So be it?

So ScoMo is getting really bad advice, and it's coming from the lizard Oz's alleged expert in foreign affairs...

It's always terrifying to the pond when some semblance of sanity comes gushing out from nattering "Ned", even if the spectacle of "Ned" v. the bromancer is surely better than anything head bangers might expect from the UFC …

And now for the pond's solemn duty.

It's rare for the pond to pass up on a Polonial prattle …and so not withstanding nattering "Ned's" lengthy exegesis and the suffering of Xians, attention had to be paid, even as stray readers dropped like exhausted flies ...

Now the pond, as noted, has no time for any form of religious fundamentalism, but in the footage the pond saw, he surely looked demented …

You see, demented doesn't just mean suffering from dementia … it also means crazy, foolish, insane or mad, and bringing a knife to a fight with a cop carrying a gun is about as demented as it gets …

But why does prattling Polonius indulge in his standard brand of pedantry?

Well it's for the usual reason. He doesn't want the excuse of madness, even if the pond feels that demented madness is a suitable explanation for religious fundamentalism of all kinds, including the sort of Catholic fundamentalism to which Polonius adheres, and which sees him attempting to explain way the despicable behaviour of the Catholic church in relation to the pedophiles in its ranks …

Crusader Polonius wants to support ScoMo doing a dog whistle and raising old fears about teh Islamics …madness no excuse … but if the pond was feeling in feisty form, it would do a dog whistle about a fear of fundamentalist Catholics behaving in despicable ways …

Oh wait, the pond's already done that dog whistle, so it's on with Polonius ...

And here's what really irritates the pond. Who is in favour of fundamentalist loons stalking the streets randomly killing people, be they barking mad loons behind a vehicle or those loons inspired by religious ragbags howling at the moon?

But then, where were those getting agitated about these loons, when John Howard decided he was a deputy sheriff and would cheerfully head off to assorted wars where civilians couldn't even bring a knife to a fight against a tank, rockets and bombs from the air?

Why there's still a minor war criminal, in the form of the dog botherer, who cheekily saunters onto the pages of the lizard Oz on a regular basis.

And the bromancer routinely and joyously dog whistles about the benefits of getting Islamics stirred up, and if there are consequences, why 'So be it' …

Yet when a 'so be it' erupts, the reptiles are suddenly outraged … even as they routinely, daily do their best to present Islam as a weird religion which poses a danger to Australia and Australians, just as the Sudanese in Melbourne are seen as the best way of getting the state Liberal party elected …

They don't mind demonisation and shit-stirring and lathering up the demented, if the consequent shit is likely to splash in their favour ...

Of course there's an alternative reality, one that's found here at news.com.au, of all places, and one that has nothing to do with Polonius prattling on in his usual way trying to pin it all on the likes of Paul Bongiorno ...

The prime minister’s comments following the Bourke Street terror attack have outraged Australian imams, who accused him of politicising the tragedy. The attack that left one man dead and two others injured was condemned by the Australian National Imams Council, which called it a national tragedy. But the council said it was “outraged” by the Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s recent comments linking Islam to a radical and dangerous ideology. “It is extremely disappointing in such difficult times and during a national tragedy, when all Australians of all faiths and backgrounds should be called upon to unite and stand together against any form of extremism and violence, to see our nation’s leader politicising this incident and using it for political gain,” a statement released on Sunday said.

Strange. Never mind, Bongiorno probably wrote the press release for them …

But how pleasing to learn that many Muslims (apparently Polonius conducted his own impeccable Newspoll at personal expense) supported ScoMo's strong stance …

After all this, is it any wonder that the pond is once again dangerously radicalised, and opens the nearest window, and shouts "a pox on the lot of them"?

And now because of the huge amount of text, the pond apologises for an absence of cartoons, and offers these random selections in compensation …