In which all the reptiles go to war yet again ...

 

It's going to be an ambitious war warrior day for the pond, and so the pond has had to develop strategies for despatching assorted reptiles to the boundary like some useless cricket board chairman …

The talk of a ScoMo v Malware war can be quickly sorted.

It's strange that ScoMo should reveal just how stupid he is - a salesman who can't even remember the benefits of the Trucoat - while attempting to generate some sympathy for Malware, who sounds like he was in possession of a briefing note and his senses, but a Rowe takes care of the whole sordid affair in a trice …

If only the rest of it was going to be so easy, but there's more Rowe shorthand here, and most likely those with a taste for the sirens in Homer's Odyssey will never return …

You see, over at the top of the opinion page there were a couple of other sirens calling for the pond to wreck itself on the rocks …

What the fuck? Who is this John Anderson, jostling for attention with our hole in the bucket Henry?

If he's the one the pond dimly remembers - the climate denialist who's a sheep short in the back paddock - shouldn't he be off rounding up the neo-Nazis and white supremacists burrowing into his old party?

Never mind, the pond knew what had to be done, and went ahead and did it …

The pond knew at once why they ran it. A man even more boring than nattering "Ned", more pompous and righteous, and willing to trot out Niall Ferguson …but in that opening round of blather, the pond noticed something that remarkably seemed to have gone without any mention at all …

So the pond plunged on, wondering whether it might soon trouble the scorers, like a wayward cricket board chairman ...

Nope, still not mentioned, and instead, amazingly, to prove that our man is "with it," and can "get down" and is possibly a "chilled dude", Ando uses as a metaphor involving "software" and "operating system."

Wow, truly "wired" man, as the pond returned to fond memories of the Amiga 500 and the Mac 512k …

But the pond did catch the drift. We must be ready for the coming war with China … though the pond was wondering if anything else might have crossed the futurist's mind as he herded the sheep in the top paddock ...

Yep, not a single, solitary mention of climate science or climate change, just the chance of bunging on a do with China.

Well the pond appreciates Ando's offer to enlist and fight the valiant fight … and luckily it seems he will have our hole in the bucket Henry by his side.

Here the pond has to do a spoiler alert. There's only so much blather the pond can take in a day, so it cut to the chase, and dug out the last few pars of Henry doing his war dance …

Yes, let's get on board with the Donald, and bung on a war with China …that'll work out really well. Just remember Henry to sign up with Ando …we wouldn't want armchair warriors flopping around on their Amiga keyboards when they could be off fighting the good fight …

And so to the reptiles' religious crusade which is heating up nicely…though the pond feels the need to mention that the Presbyterian church, as sometimes noted by the pond in the past, is a haven for young earthers, creationists, and old testament loons …

Wilson himself routinely blathers on in a biblical way about marriage, as here,  and here, where he notes homosexuals are shameful and dishonouring god, and blathers on about Adam and Eve in the usual way as if they were the real source of life on the planet ...

Naturally the reptiles, intent on a holy war crusade, did their very best to amplify the message … you know, creationism, the old testament and climate science denialism are all part of god's plan for the earth and the Murdochians ...

It's just the usual horseshit about the binary nature of gender. Go tell that to the snails, the fish and the hermaphrodites …

Now the pond doesn't mind people cultivating their illusions and delusions in the privacy of their churches, but why do the reptiles seize every chance to stir the pot and bash the poofters and get their old white male audience even angrier about life?

It's as if the reptiles want to drive the country into the arms of comrade Bill, so it can get a bit of relief from this irrelevant fundamentalism …

But it posed the pond with another dilemma. You see, the appropriately named Sexton also weighed in this day on the same subject, but the pond also had the chance to read another paper, thanks to the reptiles. What to do?

Well actually - spoiler alert - the Sexton is such a tedious old bugger, and so inclined to drivel and blather, that it seemed only fair and just to take his last few lines ...

It'll continue to be a subject of controversy?! Well knock the pond down with a feather, there's an amazing insight.

Damn right, so long as stupid people keep paying money to the Murdochians, thereby encouraging them to head back to Adam and Eve every chance they get.

And now a pond indulgence …

It's true you could read it at source, with the more appropriate header Identity politics are stronger on the right than the left, and the sub-header The Republican Party is increasingly unified around whiteness …

But presumably such outrageous thoughts were a little too close to the bromancer bone, so the reptile sub had to soften things down a little, and see it as a virtue, "white consciousness", whatever the fuck that might be to a conscious reptile ...

Why did the reptiles do it? Why did they borrow from The Economist?

Well reptile readers don't get out much, they don't like to be challenged by alternative thinking. Sheep have their set routines and that's the way it goes …

 But if you're cunning and feed them the right sort of red raw meat, the base can suddenly turn crocodile and go rogue.

This offering sent them into a frenzy … giving them pleasure, but also warning them to stay loyal to the lizard Oz, because who knows what sort of weird thoughts might turn up on other parts of the full-to-overflowing intertubes ...

Global warming hysteria, apologists for the EU, and now this attempt to deflect the descent of the left into racially-, sexually- and gender-based identity politics and victimhood. I grieve for the loss of the rational Economist of the Seventies...

...The fascist left have successfully weaponized race as a tool to implement their totalitarian ideology on Western societies, democracys and cultures. They are now well on their way with their long avowed tactic of "the long march through the institutions" to control the institution of academia. Such is the depth of their influence, the evidence of their success, is the not uncommon lament of parents of previously loving offspring, now university students and graduates....... "My son/daughter hates me. They can't forgive me for being white". We have recently seen further evidence of academia's hostility to "whiteness" with their rejection of funding for a course on "Western Civilization. This denigration and demonization of people by the colour of their skin is the mirror image of what western societies have fought against, and largely defeated, over the last 50 years. Surely it can't raise its ugly head again?
... Looks like it will in Australia

And so on and on and on, and it confirmed that the reptile base is blindly pro-Trump and profoundly racist, and inclined to the ratbag weird … yet still the reptiles kept prodding their base with a sharp Economist stick ...

Did someone quibble when the pond said weird? Well a lot of it was about being blessed by whiteness and hating on lefties and suchlike, summed up by Anglo Saxon and STRONG HoYaaaaa…!!!, but try this on for size ...

I am a 35 yr experienced fire fighter If I see a car or a house burning with people that need my help I dont wait to see what colour they are or accent they have I see people that need help End of story But my job is simple There is fire and people at risk And if they spark up about being rescued I will just punch them hard enough to save their lives Sue me Police and Nurses dont have that safe place Yet they are of the same soul They Help people in times that they cannot help themselves They are my hero's

What the fuck, where did that come from, what brought that on?

Golly gee Christopher, suddenly the pond doesn't mind if the house burns down …but luckily there was just one last prodding of the reptile base left ...

Meanwhile, as the white nationalists and supremacists faithfully file their comments for the reptiles - how they love the red meat the reptiles fling their way - the infallible Pope has a cartoon for them … and for Ando … because he didn't just skate over climate science, he forgot to mention the rats in his ranks … with more rats to be found here, thanks to Pope ...

And now for the war with those slangy-eyed devil folk to the north, who are coming south …if you will, Trumpian folk, a kind of bath plug variation on the disease-infested southern hordes heading north ...