In which the pond signs off for Xmas with a serve of "Ned" ...

First, a merry or a happy Xmas, or if you will, happy holydays, in anticipation of a splendid Chinese new year. Perhaps a war with North Korea, perhaps the big crash? Whatever, something to look forward to ...

What's that you say? Using the 'X' means the pond is back to conducting its annual war on Xmas?

Only if you're one of those foolish Xians purporting to be a believer but completely unaware of your religion (you do realise you eat real flesh and drink real blood at communion in the Catholic church?).

Please, do a Greg Hunt here for the footnotes...

Xmas is a common abbreviation of the word Christmas. It is sometimes pronounced /ˈɛksməs/, but Xmas, and variants such as Xtemass, originated as handwriting abbreviations for the typical pronunciation /ˈkrɪsməs/. The "X" comes from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of the Greek word Χριστός, which in English is "Christ". The "-mas" part is from the Latin-derived Old English word for Mass.
There is a common misconception that the word Xmas stems from a secular attempt to remove the religious tradition from Christmas by taking the "Christ" out of "Christmas", but its use dates back to the 16th century.

Not that the pond minds a war on Xmas and pagan Santa Claus and superstitious pine trees and sugar-laden Coca-cola all the rest of it, but who can be bothered?

Oh to travel ... that will resonate a little later on ...

Second, the pond is doing something much more serious, taking a break from the reptiles for the holyday season.

This plunged the pond into an existential crisis. While the unthinking reptiles won't mind - all they care about is the next meal - how will the pond cope?

What if someone turned up over the break, and saw the last post? Would it have the necessary level of fruitiness and nuttiness usually associated with a reptile deep into the Xmas pud and the Xmas cake?

What a lack of faith the pond has in the lizards of Oz. Inspired by the long absent lord, they will provide, and She provided a ripper which can stand tall for the next couple of weeks.

Come on down nattering "Ned" ...

Oh it was a tough call, between Moorice and "Ned", but at the end of the day the pond just had to go with the man who would ensure a very quiet time on the pond.

Imagine landing on the pond on Boxing Day and still seeing "Ned" up in pride of place.

What a way to ensure this transient shouts "fuck it, nothing to see here, I'm fucking out of here forever ..."

It had all the hallmarks of the very best work of a portentous, pompous prat regularly given the job of shouting at the clouds ...

Green shoots?

PM Malware: nattering "Ned" do you agree with Peter, or do you think that we can stimulate growth through temporary incentives? [Long pause] 
Nattering "Ned": As long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden. 
PM Malware: In the garden. 
Nattering "Ned": Yes. In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again. 
PM Malware: Spring and summer. 
Nattering "Ned": Yes. 
PM Malware: Then fall and winter. 
Nattering "Ned": Yes. 
Mutton Dutton: I think what our insightful old codger is saying is that we welcome the inevitable seasons of nature, but we're upset by the seasons of our economy. 
Nattering "Ned": Yes! There will be growth in the spring! 
Mutton Dutton: Hmm! 
Nattering "Ned": Hmm! 
PM Malware: Hmm. Well,  nattering "Ned", I must admit that is one of the most refreshing and optimistic statements I've heard in a very, very long time. [the mutton Dutton applauds] ... I admire your good, solid sense. That's precisely what we lack in Canberra. Have you thought of coming down to Canberra to bore the socks off our bureaucrats in an agile and innovative environment?

It has to be said that the pond itself got stuck right at the get go, with "Ned's" opening line about the Donald's tax cuts ...

Of course "Ned" was only warming up ... there's much more to come ...

By now the pond was well and truly nodding off. If this is a business plan for tedium and ennui, the lizards of Oz routinely succeed beyond their wildest dreams.

The pond felt the need of a TT to summarise the year a little more succinctly, with more TT here ...

The shift to the NBN surely sucked, but nattering "Ned" still goes on with the hand-wringing and takes to talking about "values" ...

Values? Suddenly we're worried about the alienation of people clinging to One Nation? Suddenly Hansonite values are something to care about?

What about a working broadband system, ruined by the onion muncher, and Malware, and cheered on by the lizards of Oz?

Never mind,  given that wringing of hands about the Hansonites and the deep north, the pond can't resist adding an oddity featured in this day's reptile rag ...

Actually if the pond might be so bold, white supremacist mindsets thrive on links to the United States, the Donald and the chairman, and you happen to be scribbling for a rag that is part of a deep state connection to that weird mindset ...

But do go on ...

Actually the chairman, Fox News, News Corp and the reptiles follow a fearless leader who will lead us all to a new world ...

Up against these weirdos, Pauline Hanson looks and sounds a bit like a Sarah Palin wandering in from the latest Alaskan domestic ...

Call the pond alarmist, but when an academic writes for a right-wing newspaper with explicit planks against multiculturalism, Muslim religious practices, climate science, JJJ and Australia Day, and regularly stands for bigotry and homophobia and other decent Xian values, and even has a nattering "Ned" endlessly blathering on about "values", code for the joys of luddite thinking of the creationist kind, the pond thinks it's time to start worrying ...

Or perhaps to just forget it all, and hop on a plane like gorgeous George and escape to a brighter future ... though it has to be said that both David Rowe and David Pope on an almost daily basis heroically offered the pond the hope that the light at the end of the tunnel wasn't just a plane flying exceptionally low ... (with more infallible papery to be found here) ...

They won't read this, but they truly do deserve a rich Xmas and an elegant New Year, even if the pond fervently hopes they find nothing to amuse them for the entirety of the next year. There's only so much excitement the pond can take ...