In which the pond does an exceptional round of in country Catholic Boys' Daily duty ...

First the pond wishes to advise it's very pleased with itself and intends to paint the town red with its winnings.

No, it didn't bet on Flynn, no one would give the pond odds. But the pond did have a bet with itself as to when the reptiles would come out with a stupid story  about the SA battery - petulant, childish and meaningless - and Samantha Hutchinson - well played Sammy - obliged yesterday.

What's that you say? The pond should now bet on when Samantha will produce a story screaming "Power goes out in state powered by brown coal"? 

Sorry, not even the pond will offer decent odds on that one, might as well bet on when the 12th of never will arrive ...

And so to the fuss of the day. No, not the Flynn matter, for that you needed to wake up early and get a dose of cabal TV. Nope, today the pond must look at the schizophrenic - and very lengthy - ramblings of the reptiles.

First a little context:

It's all comrade Bill's fault? Is the oscillating fan trying to do for politics what Samantha did so well for energy?

And yesterday the dog botherer was on the prowl, nose twitching ...

It's not just the pond fantasising about Malware going? The reptiles are up to their necks in it?

Well the table's set and so to the major meal, and perhaps anyone inclined to indigestion should take a couple of fizzy tablets now, because guess who was at the head of the opinionista digital edition of the lizard Oz? 

Yes, it's epic bloatware time at the pond ...

They're hoping for a Barners-led recovery? Let's hope then that the reptiles maintain their vow of silence on sundry Barners matters mentioned elsewhere in despatches ...

But there are also rats in the ranks. Can we have a snap of a prime rat, please maestro? As nattering Ned faithfully regurgitates little Johnny ...

A national crisis? The pond feels for the Yanks, in the middle of a national crisis and a major meltdown, but after all, unlike the North Koreans, they did vote for their unhinged, crazed ruler (yes, the pond watches naughty Jimmy Kimmel and his judge Roy routines).

But this is a national crisis? Sorry, what a deadhead country bumpkin John Anderson is, and how lucky we were to avoid a national crisis simply by the expedient of having him leave politics.

Here's the thing. The Liberals being fractured, and fucked-up, isn't a crisis. That's just the way it is, that's pretty much been the way it's been since the onion muncher lowered the tone to the gutter and kept it there (what about him, oscillating fan, what about him, he's always in need of attention, he just wants his share, why are you so unfair and attribute it all to Comrade Bill?)

As for Ned's "no concessions" hysteria, what, we should introduce discrimination so that an end to a form of discrimination can produce more discrimination?

The pond's already been there ...

The major crisis is in the reptiles' heads as they try to cope with the future, while rapidly fossilising ...

The long and the short of it?

The reptiles are still sounding, on a daily basis, like the Catholic Boys' Daily, apparently unaware that there is a Catholic Weekly to take care of all this stuff... 

Look what was at the top of the digital page yesterday ...

Another from the Kelly tribe, sounding the alarums yet again ... 

When are we going to cop the Sunday sermons on a regular basis? Do they realise not all Xians are bigoted and homophobic, and that appealing to the complimentary women crowd is a bit like accepting Daesh's advice on gays ... as if having "Ned" natter people into submission about the religious freedom to carry on like an Islamic fundamentalist about women and gays wasn't already enough to go on with ...

Just listen to the man.

"Impose same-sex marriage as the institutional norm" ...

What, soon the only way to get married will be SSM?

What an hysterical old silly billy this "Ned" is, with his neddying here and his neddying there, but the pond can sense that even he will be forced to shut up, even as a coven of Satanists, witches, communisists and pinko pervert socialists arrogantly stride towards a photographer, who captured the image seconds before he perished, so that all in the Oz might share the panic and the fear of the zombies soon to take over ...

Own a permanent campaign for bigotry and homophobia, dressed up as better religious freedoms?

Can that somehow be hitched to the lizard Oz campaign for better coal, for a better climate future?

What a silly billy he is, and the fact that he could quote John Anderson straight face simply proves it.

But wait, just as punters might have thought they'd done their turn at the herpetarium for the day, there's more ...

You see, Shanners was also out and about, and as he raised a matter dear to the onion muncher and the pond's banner, the pond just had to go there ...

Camelot? We've been living in Camelot?

And so to the matter of the onion muncher which will never go away so long as the reptiles have breath to draw and keyboard to pound, a never ending story of wrecking, sniping, undermining, fear and loathing designed to obliterate fond memories of little Johnny v the  featherless Peacock  ...

Oh this is serious. No less an authority than Tennyson, and him a lord ...and the onion muncher now even more vindictive and bitter and sensing that soon he will be in a position to draw the sword from the stone and plunge it into Malware's heart, with the reptiles cheering and feasting, in a Catholic fashion, on the spilled blood ...

So many pagan rituals of bloodlust, so little time ... now can we have more yadda yadda bout religious freedom and the banks ...

Actually it's emblematic of the schizophrenia in the reptiles ... was it only yesterday that the oscillating fan was sounding like little Johnny?

And what of today? What of the descent into utter madness, all the fault of Comrade Bill ...

Sssh, please, no mention of the onion muncher ...

Uh oh, the pond is starting to repeat itself like a "Ned" or a Shanners, or the whole tribe of reptiles. 

Surely it's time to wrap it up, to end this special dose of Saturday madness ... as the onion muncher roughly slouches towards Malware ...

Oh for fuck's sake, when will they ever let the onion muncher go, and let him slink off into oblivion, where his treachery, bitterness and bile should have taken him long ago, along with his refusal to give ground on matters like climate change, SSM, coal and all the rest of it?

Now they're quoting fucking Tennyson!?

“Forward, the onion muncher!” 
Was there a Liberal dismayed? 
Not though the soldier knew 
Someone had blundered. 
Theirs not to make reply, 
Theirs not to reason why, 
Theirs but to do and die. 
Into the valley of Death 
Rode the onion muncher,
Followed by sundry illberals
And a herd of fossilised reptiles,
Squawking like geese ....

It does't scan, but then the pond never thought much of Tennyson.

Please, already, enough of this shit, and let the pond to turn to a Pope cartoon about two countries in a complete mess, trying to messily organise what will be a mess that won't in any way help fix the collective mess, and if you want more messiness observed, there's more Pope here ...