In which the pond offers to coach the savvy Savva in her coaching ...

Dammit, Thursdays is when the pond likes to kick back its heels and get a good positive dose of enthusiasm and hope from the savvy Savva, and let no one stand in the way of this rare pleasure ...

The reptiles spend far too much time bickering and fighting and squabbling amongst themselves, when what we need is a celebration of a great country united under a fearless, intrepid leader ...

Of course the notion that "chance PM might hang on yet" is a positive outlook is a tad dubious, and immediately brought to mind New Yorker cartoons, lemmings and cliffs ...

The spoilsport reptiles, always ready to ruin the savvy fun, rushed off to the old folks' home and dusted off a rolling stone long ago covered in moss ...

Sheesh, he's either an angry old man shouting at clouds or a hater, or perhaps both ...

Meanwhile, other reptiles were wildly excited about Malware's vision for the country ...

What? No copper and HFC led recovery, in a multi-noodle way?

But enough of the neighsayers and the carping critics. Even the Bolter seems to have had a change of heart ...

Now it's true no one much cares what the Bolter has to say and very few tune in.

It's been a long time since the pond bothered to check the Bolter ratings, but a month ago, the figures showed the Bolter attracting 36,000 viewers. A huge feat in a country of some twenty four million plus. 

It put the Bolter in position 17 in the STV charts - well they have to have their own chart because the top STV show draws fewer people than a struggler like Ten news draws in Adelaide in the FTA charts...

The Bolter was one place behind Ice Cold in Alex on Fox Classics, which the pond has no trouble declaring one of the great masterpieces of cinema, so there's no shame for the Bolter in being such a loser ... but perhaps he should be worried by the way that Fox's other great dropkick, Paul Murray, was streets ahead ...

Yes, when you're streeted by a ratbag who managed to be a million per cent wrong on the world's greatest climate scientist, Malcolm Roberts and his citizenship, perhaps it's time to admit the Bolter has all the charismatic appeal on television of a dead catfish floating in the Peel ...

But enough of these distractions, it's time to turn winner with the savvy Savva ...

She's a great coach, and she'll give the team a great half time talk ...

You mustn’t get too emotional in these circumstances. Think about what has happened in the game and act on it. Don’t get carried away with big speeches because you need to make sure the team continue to do what they’ve been doing. Pre-match team-talks can be nicely planned and theatrical but at half-time try to stick with what is happening in front of you. It’s all about the players staying focused and staying organised – they don’t need some Shakespearian monologue at this stage. Just instill confidence quietly by telling them how well they’re doing.  (Aspiring coaches go here).

Here no Shakespeare, no Shakespeare here, just the savvy Savva ...

Now it's true that Malware is such a knucklehead that the savvy Savva thinks it would be wise to have a shadow team of business players run on to the field to help out ...

But it's clear that the game is still there to be won, if only the dummies would just listen to her - or at least there might be a little more hanging on by the fingernails yet, giving everyone a good front row seat at the lemming sideshow ...

Come on team business ...

Say what? Malware won't last for ever? There's anxiety, doom and gloom and the haters still race about, talking and carrying on and hating, like a rolling stone gathering more moss!?

The pond is reluctant to coach a top coach, but perhaps Gordon Strachan won't mind if the pond mangles some of his advice ...

A politician won’t ever not be trying. They’re professionals, they love playing politics and so complacency isn’t something we deal with. No, what can be a problem is a lack of concentration. That can come about from pollies thinking the game will be won easily and a half-time team-talk in these circumstances can vary. Some players need a rocket up their arse, but don’t do it for the sake of it. Liberal party wet fops of the Pyne and Alexander kind were expected to win nearly every by election but there were many times at half-time that they weren’t....

The time has come for the savvy Savva to put a rocket up their collective arses ... and while she's at it, shove one up Malware ...

After all, with the NBN, Malware has contributed one of the great infrastructure boons to the country, with endless additional expenditure needed to bring it up to scratch. Surely this is much better than digging holes and filling them with gold bars, then covering the bars with soil, then digging them up again ...

And Pope this very day has published a cartoon celebrating another triumph ... let no other country boast of running gulags and concentration camps, when Australia can claim its very own (with more Pope here) ...