Perving on the lumpensexuals, or watching the parrots squawk in unison? There's always a cornucopia of Murdochians at the pond ...

And the pond is with the Murdochians on a daily basis, but let's get one important bit of business out of the way first ...

There is absolutely no way that the pond will ever type the word 'lumpensexual' or allow the word 'lumpensexual' to appear anywhere within this blog ...

Oh sorry, that was 'lumbersexual', and anybody who thinks that 'deso' refers to anything but desert boots has no right to make a captain's call regarding the word of the year ... (ABC it here).

But we'll get to the sex objects later. First to the panic and alarums.

Naturally, given the news about the world getting a tad warmer, and in the absence of the pre-eminent climate scientist Maurice Newman and in view of the barely acknowledged death of Bob Cater, the pond rushed off to hear what the world's greatest climate scientist had to say about it all.

What do you know, the preening bludger is still on holydays and is off to New Zealand, leaving behind a mysterious and coded message about his future.

This in turn led to fear and panic amongst the few who bothered to respond, centred on the Bolter's chatter about having learnt an extraordinary amount of hugely important information ... by actually talking to Aboriginal activists ... but being unable to talk about it until the doc is screened."

"Sorry to sound so vague. But my word is my word."

Because gaining any sense of reality amongst the flat earthers is always a kind of cold war "turning" ...  (yes of course the pond read the Graudian's Flat-Earthers are back: It's almost like the beginning of a new religion' - these are the pond's people, the pond is only really at home and comfortable with the barking mad and the conspiracy theory crazies. Blame that on the lizard people if you will).

There were other anxieties and concerns ...

Turned ... and gagged! Oh you wicked, wicked ABC cardigan wearers you ...

One thoughtful correspondent suggested the Bolter head off to the IPA and a chance to go into matters in greater depth, and no doubt there's a good career in explaining why smoking might actually be good for you, but as a result of all this, the pond's hopes for an elaborate explanation of why NASA, the Met and thousands of scientists were wrong will have to wait for another day ... or for Maurice...

There's still hope while there's a Maurice to quash the insufferable triumphalism of the Peter Hannams of the world and their Rising global temperatures: when will climate change deniers throw in the towel ... (with forced video).

No need to throw in the towel ... why it's going to be a sunny twenty degrees in Christchurch this very day ...

So the pond gave up and turned in the usual way to what it has begun to think of as the Daily Hagiographer, in association with the Daily Parrot ...

Now there were a few of the usual predictable outings for what is always a dull Friday, even in peak periods, let alone the lull before the Australia Day storm.

The Swiss bank account man was in good form deploring Clive, a noble piece considering all that the Swiss bank account man had done for the average working class Joe and Josephine, by sitting down for thirty pieces of silver to have a chat with the parrot and pocketing the Chairman's brass...

Got to keep the tills turning over and tinkling ...

And there were other little outbursts of a predictable kind ...

Just the sort of thing you might expect of a man whose family emigrated from Hungary to Canada after the failed 1956 uprising, and a saucy lad who headed off to the UK for a tidy academic job.

Furedi is one of those barking mad Spiked mob, a reformed student leftist and co-founder of the Revolutionary Communist Party, who perfectly illustrates the pond's thesis that anyone who starts off in one extremist position, is likely to swing, like an Edgar Allan Poe pendulum, to another extremist position ... and never manage a jot or a whit of sense or humanity along the entire fundamentalist arc (as you can confirm by Greg Hunting him here).

You see, it's entirely one thing for the chosen elect to move around the world on a whim and a fancy and for resolute ideological purposes but entirely another matter for people - dare we say it - not of the chosen European elite ...

But back to the Daily Hagiographer, published in association with the Daily Parrot ...

Here's the Oz editorialist this day, fulfilling the hagiographic obligation ...

Oh sorry, the pond forgot to hand out the kool aid required before reading this sort of encomium ...

Now anybody with half a clue, and understanding how alternative history works, might think that in the alternative world of an ongoing alternative Abbott universe - a kind of 4D man - it would be entirely reasonable to suggest that Abbott would have said 'yes' to the American request.

In fact, Abbott was notorious for requesting to the Americans that they make a request, and so Malware saying 'no' is actually a significant departure from the old days.

But the reptiles live in their very own alternative universe.

Those with memory issues might imagine that a monkey had chopped up the bromancer's piece from yesterday, fed it into the reptile machine, and come up with this elegant variation.

This becomes clear enough when we reach the Daily Parrot section, where the Oz editorialist simply repeats everything their commentariat scribbler had said the day before, with a ritual 'hiss boo' at the ABC ...

The pond came away from this tired hackery thinking that the reptiles were still mentally in New Zealand, waiting for the holiday period to end ...

Or else those joint sessions standing around the water cooler scoffing down the kool aid must really have started to pick up under the new management ...

Perhaps things will pick up, perhaps in due course they'll stop parroting and repeating each other, over and over in some kind of time loop, perhaps one day the pond will even get its answer to all those troubling questions about climate science ..

Will there be a reptile opinion piece patiently explaining how the ABC's flagship 7.30 program used the tired old Turnbull versus Tony Abbott prism to contort the vital message about climate change into implicit criticism of Mr Abbott?

The reptiles and Mr Abbott and Maurice having been such valiant exponents of climate science all along ... and let's not forget the Bolter, off in the land of the haka:

Let us propel us for the frey of the fray! Us, us, beraddy!
Ko Niutirenis hauru leish! A lala! 
Ko Niutirenis haururu laleish! Ala lala! 
The Wullingthund sturm is breaking. 
The sound of maormaoring 
As the heat goes surging and no ice is making
The Wellingthund sturm waxes fuercilier. (here, apologies to James Joyce and Māori people)

And so to the lumpensexual centrefold for the week, thanks to Rowe, and more Rowe here ...

Naturally this reminded the pond, as Rowe had intended, of another great pin-up. 

No, not the gold bikini thing in the f/g, the lumpensexual behind her, flipped to keep the visual symmetry...

And in view of recent news - no, the pond never read Cleo, nor did it read Playboy, especially for the articles - this reminded the pond of the good old lumbersexual days ...

... which became this in Queensland ...

Speaking of conservatives following the edicts of the Taliban ...

And let's not forget Germaine Greer's brief squeeze and hubbie, also flipped to keep the visual symmetry ...

There you go, lumbersexuals ... you're welcome, because anything is better than reading Frank Furedi and watching parrots sky high on cherry blossoms squawking in unison ...