It's all about him ... which is code for "it's still all about me this wondrous Australia Day" ...

      


What better way to celebrate Australia Day than to flee the country and score front page notoriety?

But in that flight comes a tale of how, disingenuously, to distort and deflect the truth while purportedly providing the news ...

In one newspaper ...

That sounds harmless. He's just off at a top international forum to blather about the family, and that's what patriots do on Australia Day. Flee the country ...

In others ...

Oh look it's barking mad fundy time, and there's good old barking mad Cory too ... thanks Graudian.

And then there the Fairfaxians who set the hares running ...

Well there's no doubt that the Alliance Defending Freedom is barking mad fundamentalist and extremely litigious, using lawyers and courts as the path to salvation, no doubt as Jesus himself, a keen bush lawyer, intended ...

Cursory Greg Hunting will lead to this ...

Of course they've got a bit cannier since the days they proclaimed they wanted to recover the robust Christendomic theology of the 3rd, 4th and 5th centuries, which, it has to be said, is so much better theology than the pesky nonsense actually preached in the time of Christ ...

For keen Greg Hunters, there's also a wiki here, wherein there are many links to the bigots at work.

So how does Sid Maher go about the business of ironing out the bumps?

Well he's a good reptile hack and he does his very best, even if the reptiles were caught short by the Fairfaxians ...

Well played Sid. And quoting Stone writing for the reptiles keeps the record of anal self-referentialism in good and safe hands, and with great material too!

Tony Abbott is no Kevin Rudd. 

Click your heels and say it three times and it must be true, and so we can cross Stone off the list of today's reading, but we should give Sid his last few lines ...

Oh look, there's good old Cory too ...

Of course Abbott's rather urgent rush to abandon the country on its day of days, and flee to a meeting with the Chairman and talk to a bunch of rabid ratbags about 'teh gays' and 'teh difficult women' distracted a little from the way the poor old commentariat is going to have to put up with another character screeching about women's rights, domestic violence, gender equity, and the republic ...

Sheesh, call that do gooder a soldier? What will little Timmie "fright bat" Bleagh and Mark "is there a taxi-driver needing a broken arm?" Latham do for the year ...

But back to him, because it's all about me this Australia Day, and in particular assorted attempts by brave members of the commentariat to begin the long march, which is to say, the process to rehabilitate and restore him - remember it's all about him, or me, if you're inclined to hear voices ....

These valiant soldiers bobbed up in all sorts of places. There was Tom in the Graudian ...

Well played Tom and you can Graudian away with this splendid delusionary here. 

Amongst the many great lines, the pond loved this the best ...

So what now? Abbott has been written off before, only to come charging back. Sneered at, patronised, condemned, he has battled on. Abbott, at 58, is relatively young and exceedingly fit, he is highly experienced, a man of enormous talent and a magnificent parliamentary performer and an adept and compelling politician.

Yes, which is why he remains the leader of the Liberal party and ergo the country ...

So that's what over-egging the cake mix means ... well and lovingly baked Tom, though you did seem to produce some strong reactions in the comments section. Perhaps a stronger dose of kool-aid as the binding agent in the cake?

Oh wait, must jet off to have a chinwag with the Chairman to see about a comeback ...

But of course when seeking rehabilitation, it's to the experienced professionals, the reptiles of Oz, that the pond must turn, and the very best hands were on deck this grand day ...

Yes, the poor dear thing was forced, compelled to stay, and damn you Kroger, for your contradictory, mixed messaging ... 

But wait, just who is that reptile channeling the spirit of Tony Abbott and in touch with the forces?

Oh look there's Shane Stone again, and ah, it all becomes clear, because there's the bromancer singing a song of heroes up there with Beowulf ...

Let us do the bromance dance ...

Yes, it's taken its toll, so much so that he could barely totter on to the plane, and sit at the pointy end to fly off to deliver the kind of abuse about the wickedness of 'teh gays' that's always been his stock in trade ...

And it gets fruitier from there, because soon enough we'll be talking about how Beowulf saved us from "tidal waves" because you know, Australia is right next door to Turkey, and the carbon tax, because you know climate science is crap, and then oh there's the suffering, and the service, and the humanity, oh the humanity ...

No, it's not the money, it's certainly not the money.

There's a breathless hush in the Parliament to-night -- 

Ten to make and the match to win -- 

A bumping pitch and a blinding speaker, 

An hour to play and the last man in. 

And it's not for the sake of a ribboned coat, 

Or the selfish hope of a season's fame, 

But his mighty Lord's hand on his shoulder smote 

"As a bowler that Malware's pretty lame!"

"Play up! play up! and play the game!" 

Oh dear, a British poet on Australia Day. Is there a knight in the house?

Well it's what we had to endure in Tamworth, but back to the bromancer ... and what must be acknowledged is a superior form of hogwashing and anointing with oils and much myrrh (Arabic for mirth) and frankincense ...

And yes, humbug talk of duty, as if the loser, unemployable in normal life, had any decent job prospects ...

Desperate, pathetic stuff and there again, that eerie chant.

Abbott is no Kevin Rudd.

Well it brought on fresh desire to hear more from Henry Newbolt:

The sand of the parliament is sodden red, -- 

Red with the wreck of a party that broke; -- 

The Bronnie's jammed and the Treasurer dead, 

And the regiment blind with dust and smoke. 

The river of death has brimmed his banks, 

And England's far, and Honour a name, 

But the voice of chirpy schoolboy Abbott rallies the ranks, 

Let's get in line with the fundies, as those urban elites we tame,

"Play up! play up! and play the game!" 

Well, it's starting to get to Dickensian length, but the pond must now turn to the fabulous editorialist at the lizard Oz, also on hand this day to help out with the rehabilitation and the restoration, with the bizarre notion that Abbott will help counterbalance the factions ...

Truly, it takes a tremendous imagination to be able to come up with this sort of stuff ...

He's Tony, he's from the north shore, he likes to surf and bike, and he's here to help.

And so we come to what seems will become the mantra each day, as each day Abbott flies off to some new fundie congress and otherwise plays political games.

He's no Kevin Rudd.

No Kevin Rudd is he ...

Yes, how did you guess that same eerie chant could be found in the final pars offered up by the Oz editorialist ...

This is the word that year by year 
While in her place the Liberal party is set 
Every one of her sons must hear (daughters, meh), 
And none that hears it dare forget. 
This they all with a joyful mind 
Bear through life like a torch in flame, 
And falling fling to the host behind -- 
Tony's no Kevin Rudd, you mind
He's heading off to speak to the fundies
And heal the lame and maybe fix the blind
And he's still your tenacious and courageous leader
Call that fanciful only if you have no sense of shame
He's here to help and maim, so let's get on with it, and
"Play up! play up! and play the game!"

Alternatively ...

Yes, there's poor old Michelle Grattan joining in an examination of the entrails here ...

While this next stage of Abbott’s parliamentary career will be a fascinating political story, for Abbott personally it will be the hardest test of character he has faced in his life in politics. Will he wallow in his fury and frustration about what happened or rise above it to do something worthwhile?

But that question's already been answered.

He'll flee the country on Australia Day, and fly off to shout to fellow fundies about teh gays and women's rights and marriage and in the process pre-occupy and befuddle the reptiles as he meets with their master.

How worthwhile is that!?