The pond settles on expansionism and to hell with the Arctic sea ice ...

(Above: Cardinal Pell with hand gesture and handy holy water).

What a splendid sight.

Cardinal Pell opening a medical centre dedicated to tackling cancer by sprinkling holy water on the building, and giving journalists and photographers a special sprinkle (here).

Using scientific principles, the pond would have preferred to call in a Filipino faith healer, a New Orleans voodoo artiste, or a witch doctor, but it's the scientific thought that counts, and St. Vincent's Hospital has passed the test. When you want a cure, call on a quipping Cardinal and he'll give you a sprinkle, and before you know it, cured, done and dusted ...

And another thing.

When will Apple come to understand that it's current 'lawyer at ten paces' strategy is totally stuffed? Rather than compete on quality of product, and pricing, Apple has chosen to compete with lawyers, litigation, patent law, and dubious claims.

Is it possible to be an all-Apple household, and yet loath Apple? Sure thing, though no doubt there are plenty of PC users out there who might say the same about Microsoft ...

Damn them, damn them all. It isn't a victory, unless you're a fan of pyrrhic victories. As soon as lawyers start devising your business model, you're fucked. (Apple v. Samsung: The legal aftershocks). The exercise is eerily reminiscent of the music industry deciding to sue its customers, only this time Apple is feuding with a rival which happens to build a lot of its components. The only guarantee? The customers will suffer ...

Phew, and we haven't even got on to doing the rounds of the commentariat, or what's happening in their world, or mentioning the demise of Derryn Hinch. (3AW presenter Derryn Hinch fired). Waiter, bring me ten wooden stakes, moistened with cloves of garlic and the purest of silver. The pond just wants to make sure ...

Hinch's latest trick was to head off to court to defend his right not to vote - or so mUmBRELLA says. The pond suggests Hinch head off to Russia, where the right to vote is the right to participate in a totally meaningless display of support for Putin ...

And while we're at it, let's pause just to record the joy of Grahame Morris calling Leigh Sales a "cow". What a feral pit bull the lad is, how classy (Lib strategist sorry for calling journalist 'cow', forced video at end of link).

He's welcome on the pond any time, we need classy examples of how to lower the tone of the political discourse ... not that we'd resort to calling him a fat frump of a dinosaur - that's for other low rent sites - we'd much prefer just to note he's an exemplar that any Sydney Anglican would be proud to vote for. Submit cows, and serve your masters, or some such thing ... (Crikey says: cows and dinosaurs, behind the paywall).

In relation to Morris, can we just record a doozy by Andrew "the Bolter" Bolt in relation to the matter, as the Bolter got agitated and lathered up by the ABC and the mention of dinosaurs (Sexist attack by ABC on respected veteran):

UPDATE

Note how unsubtly The Age wove this in with Julia Gillard’s red herring about Larry Pickering and the Labor’s fraudulent attack on Tony Abbott’s alleged sexism.
The few undergraduates left at the paper are turning it into a university student paper in their frantic efforts to tear Abbott down.

CORRECTION: The copy was written by AAP. Apologies to The Age.

It must be awesome to be an error-laden fool, quick to abuse, and then forced to make a dull, leaden apology.

Oops, is that sexist, deviant Age and ABC thinking?

So it's on to the commentariat, and here's the thing of immediate concern to the pond. Lately the papers have been full of news that the sea ice in the Arctic Ocean has melted to the smallest level ever recorded (Arctic ice melts to record low: scientists).

Usually and often in unison, brave members of the scientifically expert and eminently qualified commentariat have in the past stepped forward to explain how shrinking ice caps is the work of fraudulent grant-devouring scientists involved in a vast international conspiracy, perhaps involving the United Nations or even a cartel of bankers.

But lately the commentariat has been distracted. Today for example Janet Albrechtsen is busy explaining how the Fair Work Act is a legal nightmare, and how there exists the odd just judge because they agree with Albrechtsen (The just judge gets full marks behind the paywall).

Other pundits at The Australian are cock a hoop at the dumping of the floor price for carbon:

There's simply no time to consider whether the Arctic sea ice is in pain.

If it wants to sulk, let it sulk, if it wants to melt, why then let it melt ...

Perhaps the most preeminent scientific expert - he'll give you an opinion sourced from AAP at the drop of a hat - Andrew "the Bolter" Bolt is also away with the pixies.

Today, amongst other pressing matters, he's concerned with the damage being done by the carbon tax, recycling the thoughts of Dennis Shanahan and Terry McCrann (hello, little Sir Echo, hello echo chamber, hello) in The carbon tax just became another damaging tax grab.

Tragic really. The Bolter has spent years assuring the world that the Arctic ice is doing fine, but just when it needs a little care and loving attention and reassurance, he goes missing in action.

What about Miranda the Devine then? She sat at the feet of Lord Monckton and supped at his font of knowledge so many times. Nope, in the latest of her intermittent communications, she's agitated by union thugs (Union thugs - what a surprise).

How about Piers "Akker Dakker" Akerman, always keen-eyed when it comes to a UN conspiracy? Nope, Akker Dakker's off sorting out the refugee crisis in Repair broken boat bridge.

At long last, desperate for the ice, the pond resorted to the punch-drunk Punch.

Only to find Sophie Mirabella scribbling Who will make the next giant leap for mankind?

Amazingly Mirabella spends her entire column brooding about space travel without once mentioning the way conservative creationist Republican tea party luddites have done more to reduce the collective intelligence of the United States in the past decade than Mirabella has managed to achieve for Australia ... but she's working on it. (as they are in the United States, as you can read in Bill Nye 'The Science Guy' Debunks Creationism, Gets Killed Off By Twitter).

Back to the Mirabella vision:

This year marks 40 years since man last stood on the moon – yes, it’s been that long. It’s worth pausing to think about what sort of human endeavours will enrich mankind in the future.

Uh huh. Damned if it will be climate science, or scientists braving the chill winds of the north and south poles to help discover what makes the world tick:

Are our children being imbued with that same sense of wonder and willingness to take risks to discover new horizons? Has our connectivity made the world so much smaller that exploration seems pointless or passé? Is our society so risk-adverse that adventure is now just imaginary fodder for books and movies? Are our kids so continually bombarded with the “reduce, conserve” message that quests for expansion or exploration now have negative connotations?

Conserve? Bah humbug, I spit on your petty conservationist ways. What we need is epic destruction, quests for expansion, lebensraum, the fight for ultimate victory, ultimate triumph of the will ...

Mirabella will be fondly remembered for her berating of climate scientists for being dubious untrustworthy sooks:

The carbon tax debate is important and should be conducted without hysterics. The apparently false allegation of death threats have diminished the individuals involved and reflect poorly on the scientific community. (Explanation needed from chief scientist).

A simple summary of simple-minded thinking? Neil Armstrong wonderful, space exploration wonderful, more vision needed, climate scientists casting shadows, not making honest disclosures, telling porkies, indulging in hysterics, making false allegations ...

Oh bugger off Arctic ice, you'll just have to take care of yourself.

Ms Mirabella has no time for actual observed events in the real world.

Let's join with her in a messianic quest for expansion, and to the conquest of Mars in the name of earth.

Oops, that sounds a little too UN. As if we live on a planet where the Arctic ice seems to be under stress.

Well then, in the name of the good citizens of Indi and their fearless expansionist leader Sophie Mirabella ...