A herpy derpy Friday ...

(Above: obvious troll is obvious).

So John Birmingham is personally going to save the intertubes, single-handedly enhance the level of discourse, firmly moderate his comments and plug his finger in the dyke all on his own, as explained in Why I'll be kicking you off this blog.

Sadly under this dire threat, the savagely moderated comments didn't reach Shakespearian heights but quickly turned to a discussion of drivel. But by golly the trick worked, he scored over five hundred comments, largely unread drivel, but no doubt carefully moderated drivel.

If Birmingham had been serious, he'd have simply referred his readers to the Herp Derp app (here) which derps comments so that they become a string of derps and herps.

But why stop there? There's little doubt Birmingham's blogs, and the pond's efforts, and many others, would be vastly improved by being turned into a string of derps and herps.

But why stop there? There's little doubt that the entire newspaper output of News Ltd would be considerably enhanced by being turned into a string of derps and herps.

The latest bout of derpy herpery is an astonishing outburst in relation to an intern. You can catch the conversation at Herald Sun intern debacle is a hard lesson in newsroom culture.

You see a naughty intern wrote some naughty things about her internship at the HUN at first anonymously and then exposed to the world (The Hun Mole, at Farrago).

Now you might think that the intern was being silly, naive, precious, or more, but what's astonishing has been the precious, hurt reaction of not just the HUN, but the entire Murdoch empire. It's a classic case of diddums, as they say in Tamworth.

Even so-called heavyweights like Miranda the Devine have felt the need to weigh in and slag off the hapless intern, as you can read in Kidlet offended by sexist gentlemen.

The Devine gives the girl a clip over the ear, links to a story at The Australian and reports the editor in chief of the HUN has lodged a report with the university over the earth-shattering controversy.

This from a crusading rag that routinely embarks on wars against individuals with no shame and precious little sense of restraint and honour - think of the crusade against Simon Overland, maintained long after he left his job with the Vic coppers, and that's just the easiest one to spring to mind. Think of Andrew Bolt's crusade against fair-skinned people who identify as Aboriginal ...

As for comparing the hapless intern with the other ceaseless wars and crusades conducted by Andrew "Hussein the Bolter" Bolt, talk about small cheese and the mouse that roared ...

It's yet another indicator - if anyone was needed - how News Ltd has become a paranoid castle full of group think people ever ready to use their power to crush and dispose of anyone they don't like. A tortured twisted garden of hate and bile, and incidentally full of herpy derpery.

Speaking of herpy derpery and silly headers, surely David Penbery takes the cake in his tribute to Robert Hughes, Grumpy genius railed in vain against the rise of stupidity.

Yes we know Penbo, Hughes completely failed to prevent the establishment of The Punch.

And now, emboldened, stupidity is on the march on a daily basis.

Evidence? Just read Daniel Piotrowski's Men are the new sluts, in which Piotrowski stakes a claim for having written the creepiest opening par ever written for The Punch. Piotrowski is an intern who learned how to play the News Ltd game proper-like, and so a story about male slutdom shrieking SLUT in the header nails the standard of stupidity required by The Punch, the HUN, Mx, and the rest of the godforsaken stew of mind parasites.

But this is Friday, so let's step outside paranoid castle for a moment, and celebrate calm contemplation of News Ltd current's campaign for the right to go on defaming the weak, the helpless and the powerless (an apology and a correction is always available for you on page 36 amongst the brothel ads for any front page that offends), by turning to Richard Ackland's Free speech debate is coloured by hypocrisy.

By golly, from the opening par the pond loves the cut of Ackland's jibe:

The martyrdom of Saint Andrew of Bolt is stirring a stifled nation. ''Freedom of speech'' rings from the battlements as this cherished right apparently faces its gravest threat.

Indeed. Ackland, in his usual way, takes a look at the truth of the Bolt matter, denied in the usual way by Tony Abbott, always ready to suck up to the Murdoch press:

Abbott's clunky speech did not finesse the boundaries. His attack on the government's deliberations on the convergence review and the Finkelstein proposals for a News Media Council to patrol journalistic standards shows that he is quite content with the idea that a self-regulated regime, with one company straddling like a colossus the print and pay TV business in this country, is a great way to protect free speech.

Sock it to 'em Mr. Ackland, but do expect precious shrieks and howls.

The further good news this Friday? Both big Mal and Ian MacFarlane having the courage to talk truth to power over the matter of electricity pricing, as outlined in Coalition split over energy price rises.

The problem for the Gillard government is that the boondoggles got set and running under state Labor governments, in Queensland, NSW and Victoria. That's why we didn't hear much about it during the good chum years.

The problem for Abbott, always in denial about the truth, is that the Liberal replacements have maintained the boondoggle. Abbott shows every sign he's one of the sheeple he chants to, since all he's been able to do in response to a situation that needs a nuanced response is the usual "carbon tax is responsible for the ruin of everything". He's such a herpy derpy doofus.

Expect much heat, not much light, and an ongoing desire to charge exorbitant prices for the heat in this ongoing debate. But what fun it will be if Abbott gets into power and has to deal with these contending forces.

Will he discover that there's more to electricity prices than the late-breaking carbon tax? Will the HUN discover it's a newspaper rather than an intern-bashing echo chamber?

Of course you won't get any of these perspectives by reading News Ltd publications. They're too busy slagging off that intern and anyone else who steps outside paranoid castle to go against the grain.

Herpy derpy.

(Below: more herpy derpy at Urban Dictionary here).