(Above: a double bunger correction on the front digital page of the lizard Oz, but we liked this one best, with the photo credit going to that old standby " ". Long may inverted commas be credited with the best of journalistic grovelling).To borrow a phrase, it seems that Glenn Milne and The Australian are shackled together just as surely as two First Fleet convicts.
After yesterday's effort by Milne - yes, you could still find copies of the allegedly defamatory column circulating on the full to flowing intertubes at time of writing - and with Four Corners dishing more dirt on the Murdoch empire last night - you'd think The Australian - the alleged sterile stinking dead heart of a hapless nation - might have thought about a little distance, even perhaps a discreet unshackling.
Not so according to Crikey's Milne debacle: how a 16 year old story was spiked by The Oz:
The Australian’s editor, Clive Mathieson, issued the following statement to Crikey this morning: “We’re investigating the Prime Minister’s claim of inaccuracies in the story. As the correction points out, we regret that the PM was not given any chance to respond to the allegations.”
Asked whether Milne would be sacked, Mathieson said “he remains a contributor to The Australian.”
That says all you need to know about journalistic standards at The Australian. Even the battling boofheads in rugby league are subject to more stringent discipline ...
Don't know what the fuss is all about? Well you could read all about it in Fairfax today under the header Bombshell for Gillard explodes under Murdoch press.
Or you could consider yourself lucky you missed the Milne, and instead wonder if there are any signs today that the leopard might have changed its spots.
Well on the opinion pages there's Niki Savva defending Tony Abbott, in Whatever the problem, blame Abbott, and there's Tony Abbott defending Tony Abbott in We are pledged to real reform, and there's Michael Stuchbury dishing it out to unions and Gillard in Trade union warlords part of the slump, and there's the anonymous editorialist chiming in with Our union leaders need some lessons.
Yes, it's just another day in the union and Gillard bashing world of the minions of Murdoch, and you have to wonder if Gillard feels silly having trooped off to her private meeting with the Murdoch heavyweights, as if you could reason with them or expect fair and balanced coverage.
You can't expect ferals to change their gutter crawling ways, and you can't expect any change in the Murdoch press until Gillard returns to the back bench and the Federal Labor government is sent into exile.
So let's move along to another member of the commentariat, because clap hands and sing with joy, today is desiccated coconut day, and who better to supply it on cup cakes than Gerard Henderson, as he gets tremendously agitated in Literary festivals and prizes champion politics over quality.
Yep, it's left wing conspiracy time.
Henderson gets terribly upset over David Hicks' work Guantanamo: My Journey getting shortlisted for the Queensland Premier's Literary Awards, seeing it all as some kind of leftist conspiracy, when truth to tell, Australian literary awards have always been a dog's breakfast, what with Helen Demidenko nee Darville picking up a Miles Franklin for The Hand That Signed the Paper (and a Vogel) and Paul Radley setting the pace as inaugural disqualified Vogel winner for presenting the work of his uncle in Jack Rivers and Me way back in 1981 (yep, it's called The Australian/Vogel award for writers under 35 and shows The Australian is as adept at literary awards as it is at journalism).
In one way or another things have bubbled along nicely since the Ern Malley Affair, what with taxi driver Leon Carmen adopting the pen name Wanda Koolmatrie for My Own Sweet Time (scoring a Dobbie award), and we like these scandals so well that Anna Broinowski even got to make the film Forbidden Lie$ out of Norman Khouri's distortions of the truth in Forbidden Love (How a 'forbidden' memoir twisted the truth).
Set amongst this distinguished company, Hicks seems almost banal in his new incarnation of scribe, with the pen substituting for posing down with an RPG.
No doubt Henderson is working diligently away at startling new evidence that all the fraudsters were part of a gigantic leftist conspiracy ... but it would have been more interesting if - instead of frothing at the mouth at leftist conspiracies - Henderson had managed to produce some evidence that Hicks had the help of a ghost writer.
Meanwhile, Henderson saves even more of his venom for Malcolm Fraser and his political memoirs, and for the outrage that it won 50k at the NSW Premier's Literary award, despite being full of alleged errors (as spotted by the diligent Henderson), being self-serving and written with rose-coloured glasses.
Dearie me, a self-serving political memoir. Who would have thunk that such a thing could be ...
But such is the paranoia that you get this kind of twaddle from Henderson:
Is this code for Henderson not getting a free flight to Melbourne to sit on the platform alongside Marieke Hardy? The thought's so bizarre the pond almost feels like springing some frequent flyer points just to see the sight.
For the absent lord's sake, can someone tell the man he's dull as ditchwater, and listening to him is roughly equivalent to hearing paint dry, and perhaps that's the reason some conservatives are excluded from the literary circuit, already groaning under the tedium of frail writer egos and brash publisher excesses.
If he really wants to get on the circuit, why doesn't he produce a transformative magnum opus that will compel the world to listen. Perhaps he could do it by taking a nom de plume ...
... it is reported that he (Fraser) is ''applauded'' at literary festivals ''by the same kinds of people who had once reviled him for his role in the dismissal'' of the Whitlam Labor government.
Oh the humanity, oh the horror.
... are we looking at 1975 over all over again? Well, there are stark differences, of course. But there is a parallel existence between the Fraser opposition in 1975 and the Abbott opposition now.
Like Fraser, Abbott is desperate to take power at almost any cost but if he has a real idea on what he plans to do once the keys to the Lodge are handed over, it’s not exactly clear to the punters.
What do we remember about the Fraser Government? Not a lot. People hold strong views about the Whitlam Government. Some recall it as Australia’s Age of Aquarius. Others give it less favourable reviews but no one remembers the Fraser Government fondly. It is an embarrassment to the Liberal Party now.
Meanwhile, you can just feel the sharp edged knife of injustice deeply penetrating the noble Henderson's bosom, rather like the rose thorn did to the nightingale in the Oscar Wilde story as he scribbles:
Oh the humanity, oh the horror.
Well seeing as how Malcolm Fraser is as dull as ditchwater too, let Henderson follow his example. How about My life as a member of the commentariat, and the many leftist conspiracies uncovered ...
Still, it was heartening to see Jack the Insider take up the Tony Abbott is Malcolm Fraser in disguise meme in Crisis? What perpetual crisis:
... are we looking at 1975 over all over again? Well, there are stark differences, of course. But there is a parallel existence between the Fraser opposition in 1975 and the Abbott opposition now.
Like Fraser, Abbott is desperate to take power at almost any cost but if he has a real idea on what he plans to do once the keys to the Lodge are handed over, it’s not exactly clear to the punters.
Contrary to the paranoid Henderson, there are some in the country who clearly remember the Whitlam and the Fraser years. Cue Jack:
What do we remember about the Fraser Government? Not a lot. People hold strong views about the Whitlam Government. Some recall it as Australia’s Age of Aquarius. Others give it less favourable reviews but no one remembers the Fraser Government fondly. It is an embarrassment to the Liberal Party now.
Sad to say, Henderson has the ideological flexibility of a walrus being assaulted by a pack of five hundred playing cards ... or perhaps Alan Jones.
What fun to see the squawking parrot nailed by Media Watch in Wrong at the top of his voice, as a chaser to Four Corners exploring the entrails of the Murdoch empire in Bad News.
No doubt these programs are also part of an eternal left wing conspiracy, but in the picture below, who do you imagine as Alice?
Julia Gillard eternally assaulted by a pack of Murdoch cards, or poor Gerard Henderson suffering from the indignities of literary awards?
Someone should tell him to HTFU dude ...
Put me down for a $5 contribution to send Hendo to the Melbourne Writers' Festival. I'd pay good money to see him on the same stage as Robert Manne ... bickering like it's 1968.
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