And so to the pond's tour of the churches, with bonus faiths and a free Michele Bachmann steak knife ...

Time for the weekly round of the churches, starting with Cardinal Pell and his week old thoughts for the Sunday Terror, and dearie me, what a disappointment they are as he burbles away about the Irish in Convicts and Famine.

Not one unkind word about the wretched English or the role of the Catholic church, just a pious hope that help might have been found "somewhere" for the millions who starved to death in the nineteenth century famines.

Ah well, to be sure, remember to be reading other versions of history, along with the Pellist one:

Why did Ireland's population grow so quickly in the first half of the Nineteenth Century? The impact of the Catholic Church cannot be overstated. The Catholic Church ruled against contraception and abortions (in whatever forms existed then) and preached about the value of large families. Also, many did believe that a large family was an insurance in old age as your children would look after you. Therefore, the more children you had, the more comfortable you would be in your later years. However, a large family faced many problems when food was in short supply. When there was no supply - as in 1845 to 1847 - the situation became catastrophic. (here)

Ah dear, that history must have been written by some blasted Fenian with apostate tendencies, to be sure. Thank heavens the latest Taoiseach has taken a firm stand - Irish PM's attack on Catholic church a 'wake-up call', says archbishop. No wonder the Pellist stayed locked in family history ...

Happily we can leave Pell wringing his hands over the fate of the Irish, and head off to the Sydney Anglicans to see what's warming the cockles of their Calvinist hearts, and what do you know, there's Michael Jensen getting down and dirty in a fierce theological debate, Carson vs Piper.

In one corner, John Piper is arguing that the text of Scripture itself is sufficient in and of itself to convey God's truth, while Don Carson suggests a little historical background to the Bible is indispensable for its right interpretation.

Dearie me. Well a cautious Jensen sort of comes out on the side of Don Carson, but it's left to the comments section for some post-modernist relativist to mention that in fact most preachers these days lack a few essential skills in classical Hebrew and Aramaic, and for the new testament Koine Greek, and in the usual way of translations, you can round up a dozen translators and end up with entirely different readings/interpretations/translations of the original text. Is it reprehensible to mention that the word of god is that of anonymous human beans and has more meanings than the average semiotician finds when let loose on Shakespeare?

Of course as soon as you mention that the word of god isn't quite a concrete block of literary certitude, and instead is dependent on anonymous authors and bickering translators, things can get way too relativist for the average dogmatic christian.

Well blessed are the cheesemakers, we say, before recommending once again Phillip Jensen's excellent piece about Investing in Iniquity. We're looking forward to an imminent announcement from the Sydney Anglicans that they intend to divest the church from the whole of Sydney Diocesan Secretariat, which strives for excellence in the provision of property, parish, investment, legal, accounting, and technology services to the Diocese, and which offers investment opportunities in Glebe Income Accounts, with a total of $110 million in assets as of 31st December, 2010.

Well not to worry. It's possibly best not to brood too much about spilled milk, or the way god punished the Calvinists for their sins, Sydney Anglicans in financial trouble. At times like that, it's possible to think it might be okay to have a decent investment of any kind, rather than worry about a little iniquity, like leading the diocese to the brink of financial ruin ...

Meanwhile, one thing you need to know is that Michel Jensen's piece is actually a canny cross-promotional piece - of the kind favoured by wretched news services plugging shows because of their alleged newsworthiness - and if you click on the splash on the front page, you get a link to a Southern Cross subscription and a piece of wallpaper.

Ah the iniquity of cross-promotional marketing, and the promotion of a preacher whom even Jensen has to admit really doesn't have a fundamentalist clue.

Not to worry, here at the pond, we're hove to, waiting on the literal word of god, and bugger the historical context and those pesky translators ...

Dearie me, what a thin brew, so much so we thought we'd drop in on Jim Wallace and the ACL. Jim has been a little quiet since his glory days:

And it seems the ACL website is continuing to be low key with comments closed and an intermittent supply of press releases. Oh sure, it's solid, and theologically sound, what with the ongoing green and gay bashing, and it hits all the right notes:

“Any organisation or person that wants to protect the definition of marriage and the very important concepts of motherhood and fatherhood it represents for children, is automatically demonised by these people as being bigoted or homophobic,” said Mr Wallace.

“People should be free to put an alternate view without this type of defaming. Political leaders at every level must reject this language and what amounts to nothing less than terrorising of anyone with an alternate view." (here)

Ah poor terrorised Jim lad. Those verbal bombs threaten to tear the poor Jim lad apart.

Well the pond would never assert that Mr Wallace was homophobic. The way he spends so much time writing about gays and gay marriage, you'd sometimes swear he was entranced by the idea of it all.

Meanwhile, if you want yet another angle on things, you can always head off to Muslim Village, and Abdulah Zayied's A local Revolution: Reforming Equality, wherein it's noted that Islamic women do all the work and men hold all the power and speak for the community. Gee, it's a wonder Muslims occasionally have image problems when they uphold such fine Australian male traditions ...

And the pond thought all the angles had been covered until this opinion piece added a new one: Will British Muslims confrontation of rioters and bigots end their demonisation?

Who knows, but if you visit the official Australian website for scientology, hopefully the crassness of the AV "Meet a scientologist" routine and the crass commercial pitches will lead to the continuing demonisation of scientology ...

What else? Well who could forget the wise words of Michele Bachmann this week in response to a question about this old indiscretion?

"My husband said, now you need to go and get a post-doctorate degree in tax law. Tax law, I hate taxes. Why should I go and do something like that? But the Lord says, 'Be submissive.' Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands," Bachmann told the crowd at the Living Word Christian Center. "Never had a tax course in my background, never had a desire for it, but by faith, I was going to be faithful to what I thought God was calling me to do through my husband, and I finished that course of that study." (Michele Bachmann 'Submissive' Wife Idea a Matter of Interpretation).

Naturally she's no longer into submission, and will be calling the shots when president, as submission actually means respect, in much the same way as I use white when ever referring to black, which is just as well:

Is it time to bomb Iran? I think so dear. Whatever you say dear ...

Oh dear, and they say religion is a force for good. Or so Christian Kerr said this week, as he stoned the insecure secularists ...

Now why on earth should they be insecure?

Is it time to round up the secularists and the gays and put them behind bars for a little re-education?

If you wish dear ...

(Below: Islamic women, perhaps shoulder to shoulder with Michele Bachmann, or perhaps listening to a solehah. Okay, just testing, if you believe that, you'll believe anything).