(Above: is that the Reverend Fred Nile dishing it out to the evil relativist secularist humanist Snidely Whiplash?)
In the old days, Friday used to be the day for whimsical oddity, as a way of preparing for a relaxing weekend.
So we offer up the peculiar sight of Ian Wallace punching on at The Punch with You 'like' your friends. But do you really LIKE them?
The semi-retired Wallace seems to have a bee in his bonnet about social networking:
The people who use these new technologies do often have large and diverse social networks but the problem is they live in an isolated virtual bubble devoid of face-to-face human interaction.
Yep it's another judgmental oldie who's taken to a blog on the internet to bemoan the way people get involved in dehumanising interactions on the internet.
Whatever else you do today, take pity on the long suffering young, who might at some point stumble on this kind of blogging by accident and take it seriously, and find themselves trapped, lost, alone, friendless, in an isolated virtual bubble with Ian Wallace ... the horror, the horror ...
Continuing on our thought-bubble, irony-free way, we were relieved to stumble across Fred Nile penning Ethics lesson two: tell the truth for the Fairfax press.
If Fred hadn't started out at the Wesley Central Mission, and now, as a politician, was determined to ensure that ...
... all legislation is brought into conformity with the revealed will of God in the Holy Bible, with a special emphasis on the ministry of reconciliation. (here)
... we'd have proposed a career as a casuistical Jesuit.
I have not sought to blackmail the NSW government. I simply reminded them: before they reject my Ethics Repeal Bill, they should remember they need our votes to pass their controversial industrial relations legislation. I never said I would vote against it, even though I have genuine concerns about its impact.
What's more, Fred utterly refutes the suggestion that he left a horse's head in Barry O'Farrell's bed.
My intention throughout the process was simply to hold the Coalition to their original policy, which opposed ethics classes. Unfortunately, before the election, the Premier wrongly believed the Greens would hold the balance of power in the upper house and told me privately that despite a desire to do so, he could not repeal the legislation and would maintain the status quo.
Uh huh. Well Barry O'Farrell told everyone publicly before the election that the ethics classes would stay, and so narrowly avoided his Carcetti moment when he almost folded last week to Fred's ploy, which if it isn't blackmail, could perhaps be called Nilemail.
Of course there was one splendid sight to arise from the kerfuffle ... an eleven year old by the name of Charlie Fine doing over Fred in fine style with Keep your politics out of our classrooms, Mr Nile.
Before ethics classes I studied Buddhism, which I found very stimulating. And before that because there was no alternative to scripture, many of my friends (myself included) were forced to spend many hours watching Lilo & Stitch on an old TV they had dug out of the janitor's cupboard.
Oh noes, not Lilo & Stich, and on a CRT of all things. The horror, the horror...
Next thing, they'll be making the hapless young read Ian Wallace and watch Snidely Whiplash in The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. Oh okay, it'd still be more fun than listening to Fred Nile, but you get the drift ...
The facts show that only 33 per cent of the world is Christian, and in NSW a quarter of children choose not to attend lessons on theological scripture. I think it is possible to be non-religious and a good person.
By all means, Mr Nile, you go out and be as Christian as you want; I respect that entirely. But that does not give you and your supporters the right to attempt to shape a future generation of adults in your mould – that is a religious conservative
As if to demonstrate that Charlie was on the money, in his comeback - which discreetly avoids taking on an eleven year old - Fred hurls around the usual epithets and insults, with a touch of hubris, as befits someone with an invisible entity on their side:
Our party thanks Almighty God and the NSW voters that we now hold the ''balance of prayer and responsibility'' and not the pagan Greens.
This course does not teach ethics as most parents understand the term. It does not teach children any definitive sense of right from wrong, but promotes the secular humanist relativist philosophy that there are no absolutes, such as ''You shall not murder, lie or steal''.
Contrary to the claims of Dr Simon Longstaff, the Christian churches remain fundamentally opposed to the so-called ''ethics course'', but are discussing the best approach now that it is law.
I do not repudiate the tradition of Western thought, as claimed, and I believe it unethical to engage in that sort of invective.
They wrongly believe that when Sir Henry Parkes introduced free and ''secular'' state education, he meant ''non-Christian'' or ''non-religious''. That was never his intention. In the 1880s, ''secular'' was used to prohibit denominational teaching in NSW classrooms, not scripture classes, which Parkes decreed should fill one hour per day.
I have never said the Premier should break his word, but simply uphold his original position.
If Dr Longstaff becomes militant and incites the mob to ''rise up'', his actions are akin to that which he despises. Maybe a lesson in ethics is required?
Wow. Fred thinks he's scored a killer blow, and thanks to the god-smiting Socrates, he cheekily urges this Longstaff chappie to take a lesson in the ethics classes Fred is intent on destroying ...
The facts show that only 33 per cent of the world is Christian, and in NSW a quarter of children choose not to attend lessons on theological scripture. I think it is possible to be non-religious and a good person.
By all means, Mr Nile, you go out and be as Christian as you want; I respect that entirely. But that does not give you and your supporters the right to attempt to shape a future generation of adults in your mould – that is a religious conservative
As if to demonstrate that Charlie was on the money, in his comeback - which discreetly avoids taking on an eleven year old - Fred hurls around the usual epithets and insults, with a touch of hubris, as befits someone with an invisible entity on their side:
Our party thanks Almighty God and the NSW voters that we now hold the ''balance of prayer and responsibility'' and not the pagan Greens.
Then there's a bit of pre-emptive blather:
So, given the outcome of the election, the Coalition can now implement their original policy and vote for my bill, which concludes the ethics course in December so that principals can arrange quality education opportunities for children withdrawn from scripture classes by their parents next year.
I agree with the teaching of ethics in NSW schools, colleges and universities, provided it is based on history's greatest teacher of ethics, the Lord Jesus Christ.
I agree with the teaching of ethics in NSW schools, colleges and universities, provided it is based on history's greatest teacher of ethics, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Yes, Christ was always inclined to politics, and his running for office and his work as the governor of Judea, always with a fine awareness of the numbers in the senate, remains one of the least covered aspects of his life in the bible.
Sorry, we drifted off course there. Back to basic Christian abuse:
This course does not teach ethics as most parents understand the term. It does not teach children any definitive sense of right from wrong, but promotes the secular humanist relativist philosophy that there are no absolutes, such as ''You shall not murder, lie or steal''.
Oh no, not the evil relativists. Why next thing you know, these filthy vile relativists will be explaining how you shan't murder, except if it's a just war, or there's some oil for you to steal, and then explain how you might have to lie about weapons of mass destruction to trigger the fighting.
Hang on, hang on, does that make George Bush and Tony Blair secular humanist relativists?
I sincerely regret that some atheistic parents will prevent their children from learning about the most important aspect of Australian culture, our Christian heritage and faith. Even our atheistic Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, has said all children should have a knowledge of the Bible.
Yes, but as Fred knows, what children absolutely should not have any knowledge of is the competition to the bible, or the way that the Christian tradition has ripped off many elements of the Greek/Roman legal and social and political and philosophical and cultural traditions, and claimed them as their own. After all, if you've got a monopoly, why share?
Contrary to the claims of Dr Simon Longstaff, the Christian churches remain fundamentally opposed to the so-called ''ethics course'', but are discussing the best approach now that it is law.
I do not repudiate the tradition of Western thought, as claimed, and I believe it unethical to engage in that sort of invective.
Yes, not that calling people pagan greenies or atheists wretched relativists is in any way a kind of invective, but rather just the friendly bickering of people engaged in philosophical discourse.
The fact that an eleven year old could mount a more civilised, and engaging argument with a killer cultural reference, seems to have passed Fred by ...
And then on cue, speaking of Christians looting and pillaging the past, Fred takes on Socrates as an ally ..
Remember that Socrates was ''virtually alone'' and executed because he dared to question the majority world view; to question what youth were being taught. This is all I am doing.
Yep, it's Fred and Socrates together against the world in a tag team match in the octagon, and damned if an atheist will get out of there alive.
Eek, hang on, hang on, it turns out that Socrates was charged with disrespect towards the gods - he questioned their abilities - and corruption of the youth, and as Aristophanes might say, he was the very paradigm of atheistic, scientific sophistry. (wiki Plato's Apology of Socrates here).
Strange company for Fred, you might think, but never mind the bizarre incompatibilities - it's a bit like Superman and Lex Luthor teaming up - Fred and Socrates have to arrange a smackdown of the low life atheists doing the rounds these days:
There are those among Dr Longstaff's supporters and organisations such as the Teachers Federation, the Greens and the Labor Left who wrongly believe in the separation of church and state, and want to abolish religious education from government schools.
They wrongly believe that when Sir Henry Parkes introduced free and ''secular'' state education, he meant ''non-Christian'' or ''non-religious''. That was never his intention. In the 1880s, ''secular'' was used to prohibit denominational teaching in NSW classrooms, not scripture classes, which Parkes decreed should fill one hour per day.
Yep, and it it was good enough for Sir Henry Parkes in the eighteen eighties, damn straight it's good enough for the twenty first century.
And if you don't like it, then it's off to watch Lilo & Stitch on the janitor's CRT screen, you pesky eleven year old, with your sordid modernist, relativist ways, and forget that inquiring mind curious about the ways of the world.
Bow down before Fred and Jesus!
I have never said the Premier should break his word, but simply uphold his original position.
Uh huh. But is that his original original position, or the original position he took to the electorate as an election promise?
If Dr Longstaff becomes militant and incites the mob to ''rise up'', his actions are akin to that which he despises. Maybe a lesson in ethics is required?
Wow. Fred thinks he's scored a killer blow, and thanks to the god-smiting Socrates, he cheekily urges this Longstaff chappie to take a lesson in the ethics classes Fred is intent on destroying ...
So how will Longstaff get his lesson in ethics?
Well it turns out ethics is copyrighted, patented and trademarked to Fred and Jesus ... and if you breach any of the monopoly's rights, they'll sic Socrates on to you ...
And Socrates? Hang on, hang on, how did that pervert get into the mix?
Well we said it was going to be an irony free day, but gee Fred makes it hard. The way that he appends Reverend to his name after that outburst of snarkiness, petulance and abuse makes you realise that fire and brimstone and Nilemail is still the biblical way for some ...
Now if only he'd just turn the other cheek ... we have some weightless dry ice waiting in the wings to help out Tony Abbott's science experiment, and we need to drop it from a great height on to a noggin ...
And Fred Nile speaking in the upper house of the NSW parliament has compared secular humanism and the ethics taught in NSW classrooms to the Nazi ideology on view on the second world war ...
Time for a class in Godwin's Law? Second thoughts, when staging a three ring circus, you always need a healthy supply of ethical clowns ...
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