In which the pond offers a cornucopia of reptiles, including contending dog botherer and Dame Slap, and as a special bonus, Polonius prattling about mindless loyalty...

 

The pond realises that, in its steadfast loyalty to the reptiles, it misses out on many great moments that would result in a Sunday meditation full of meaning. 

Take, for example, Charles Walker's splendid rant on milk, celebrated by John Crace here, and linked to for viewing pleasure here ...

The pond hadn't experienced such a sense of fun with milk since it slurped down off banana-flavoured milk heated in the Tamworth primary school's noon-day sun ...

But loyalty has its rewards, and so today the ongoing crisis allows the pond to pour more water down the reptiles' nest (oh such fun it was to torment the bull ants).

The only question then is who should go first? 

The pond immediately knew the correct reptile answer. The man, and what better man than the dog botherer to set the Sunday pace?

And what better way for a manly man to start off a piece, than with an image of the fearless leader in a chopper reliving his days above the jungles of 'Nam.

Sorry, sorry, the pond got a little choppered away there ... you know, sounds of swirling chopper blades, swirling fan, this is the end my beautiful friends, the end, swilling hard liquo, punching out a mirror ... the horror, the horror, and all that, in the pond's seven speaker Dolby surround sound, thoughtfully cranked so that the neighbours can follow the movie easily ...

Sorry, where were we? No, not in that fire fight in Heat (how the bullets ping around the speakers in the new restoration, how the dialogue sounds flatter than a tin can crushed by an ol- fashioned steam roller), but on fire with the dog botherer ...

 

 

Oh it's just not fair, and yet the coalition has always had its manly men doing their thing ...

 

Sorry, the pond had to reach for an old infallible Pope, and far too early in the game ... let us keep on with the "it's just not fair" riff, and indulge in a little victim shaming and blaming ...
 

Such empathy for the trauma experienced by victims. Call on commissioner Plod to condemn them for not speaking up quickly enough - dammit, just speak up woman, it's only a rape - or even worse, for speaking out of turn ... dammit it woman, when will you learn to just shut the fuck up ...

Indeed, indeed,  and where's the harm in a little wanking? Why the dog botherer wanks all the time, in print, in public, on the telly, so of course he's going to get agitated about talk of a sexist frat house. Has the Coalition not been open to the best and brightest women? Have there not already been a half dozen women Liberal prime ministers? Are not women in equal proportion in SloMo's cabinet? What's all the fuss?

Perhaps sensing that he'd gone as far as he could with hurling abuse, the dog botherer did a teary SloMo act of contrition, and turned to feeling feminist ... well, feminist with a Twitter obsession, because Twitter is responsible for the coarse way that the thugby league first thirteen acted towards girls in Tamworth way back when ...

Blokey? Some missteps in tone rather than substance?

“It’s been a pretty intense year and from time to time, that shows. That’s just human and I think people understand that,” Mr Morrison said. Mr Morrison volunteered that he was backing Cronulla Sharks player Chad Townsend to “have a great game” this weekend. Against Canberra last weekend, the halfback missed a simple shot at goal that led to a loss. “I’m just glad the footy’s back on,” Mr Morrison laughed. “It helps everybody.” (link to the satanic New Daily here).

Yes, of course, the footy's back, it helps every rape victim, surely it does, whether it's reporting on fun in New Zealand or celebrating the Hayne plane ... and much better to front Hadders than those harridans at the ABC with their spiteful empty chair ... but do go on ...

 

Oh dear, at the very end, a token, but still, the pond was reminded of that infallible Pope cartoon ...

 

And so, with great reluctance, and after all the reptile men have had their say this weekend, the pond turns to Dame Slap ... though some will wonder if she's more mythical creature, more feathered IPA dinosaur than real ...

 

 

 

 

It will be recalled immediately that the dog botherer deplored talk of a sexist frat house, and yet what does Dame Slap lead off with? Talk of a bloody X-rated Animal House, leaving readers to wonder who might now play the John Belushi role. (Actually it only made it M, for low level coarse language, low level sex scenes and drug use, but never mind).

Never mind indeed! Look, there it was, beneath the vile header with its talk of an X-rating, a snap of SloMo caught between perennial smirk and endless grimace!

What's more, Dame Slap had a few words to say about quotas, what with her having been chosen for the ABC board on the basis of having few political connections or shared ideology, but incredible board skills ... but let's not talk of the factional system, let's get started ...

 

 

Dear sweet long absent lord,  Dame Slap's gone right off ... the pond hesitates to step into the firing line ...

 

She's still going off... would a nice picture of a sweet woman with a couple of babes in arms help mellow her out?

 

Indeed, indeed, how the pond yearns for simpler times, when manly men could bring an end to war with a flourish ...

 

 

But back to Dame Slap, still going off ... strangely unaware of all the preceding reptile talk of cancel culture and sharp words about #MeToo and toxic feminists, and so on and so endlessly forth ... indeed, strangely unaware of her own past thoughts of Harvey, who graced the pond's pages only yesterday ...

And so on, and yet, here we are now, and here Dame Slap seems to be singing a slightly different tune ...

 

Actually if the pond might be so bold, that talk of the truth in relation to the AFP is a little misleading ...

 

...Gaetjens, the secretary of the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet, told a Senate estimates hearing on Monday the move followed “strong advice” from the AFP commissioner, Reece Kershaw, on 9 March.
Kershaw, appearing before a different estimates committee, was more equivocal.
Asked whether he asked Gaetjens to alter the terms of reference or go slow with his inquiries, the AFP commissioner replied: “No but that’s a decision [Gaetjens] may wish to take but based on the conversations I’ve had in terms of any intersection with our criminal investigation.”
Kershaw was asked whether those inquiries would hamper the police investigation and said “it may”.
Kershaw said he had consulted with the chief police officer of the ACT “just to ensure we had that clean corridor, that that investigation was not disturbed … you didn’t want anything to intersect with that investigation”.
Pressed on whether he had made any specific requests to Gaetjens about the nature of his report, Kershaw said: “No, I think we looked at the terms of reference and that’s a matter for the secretary, not me, to make that determination.
But the AFP commissioner later sought to clarify his evidence, saying he supported Gaetjens’ decision to put on hold the process of finalising the inquiry. (Graudian here)

 

Yes, it took a little time for the song sheet to come together, for the "truth" to be organised into a 'truthful' shape, and for everybody in the chorus to sing from the same sheet ...

As for quotas, well, the lizard Oz has many mediocre male scribblers, why not a few more medicore women of the Dame Slap kind?

 

Ah, another great deflection, another sharp thrust, another easy shot, and yet, and yet ... quotas. Even the dog botherer went there, but not Dame Slap appointed to the ABC for her astonishing board skills, and surely not for her political attitudes and connections ...

 

And yet what would happen to a new female PM, likely enough only to come from the ALP side in the next few decades?

 

We saw what a roasting Julia Gillard copped from the reptiles and the mad monk, much of it sex-based. Who can forget the parrot exhuming her dead father to make him die of shame yet again, who can forget the parrot putting her in a chaff bag and tossing her into the sea? Who can forget the lectures from the great man himself? Who can forget the great man in action?

 

 

 

 

And so to the bonus for the day, and the pond is mortified to have to offer prattling Polonius as a bonus.

Has it come to this? Have the reptiles been so frenetic that Polonius has been reduced to a mere sideshow bonus? 

 

Sadly 'tis true... and even worse, the reptiles felt the need to pad out his prattle with pictures ... just to add a bit of gravitas ...

 

Odd. Didn't Polonius's headline talk of Liberal reptiles spurning the party. Yet here was the Liberal party spurning, in the usual way, an uppity harridan, too big for her britches, big noting herself, deserving of a good ducking, or perhaps a scold's bridle ...

Please allow the reptiles to provide a photo of this wretched, treacherous upstart ... because it's all her fault. Fancy chucking a hissy fit and acting all treacherous simply because she got booted!

 

Indeed, indeed. The behaviour of Cusack was particularly egregious and an affront to prattling Polonius's memories of Ming the Merciless and the days when women knew their place ...

 

...The factional system relies on compliance and patronage, so straight away the idea of merit-based selection went out the window. This doesn’t just affect women – it affects everyone. Even Mike Baird needed a special deal to secure Liberal selection for the 2007 election in Manly. Favours given and favours repaid is how this works.
In other states, this model was nicknamed “the NSW disease”. Unfortunately, it spread. It has escalated.
An MP might be asked to allocate a staff position to a factional operative and in exchange his/her preselection is assured. Step away from the factions and they might all combine to unseat you. In this way, the factional model is part taxpayer-funded.
So now we have some young men on big salaries, doing aggressive factional work out of some ministerial and MP offices. And they are intoxicated with power as well as alcohol. Their bosses need to bear much of the blame. They legitimise and tolerate behaviours that serve their own self-interests in terms of getting and retaining power.
There are many reasons why women across Australia so triggered and upset by what’s going on in Canberra. Personal experience, solidarity with the victims – but most of all it has been the sense of powerlessness they feel when the issues are seemingly dismissed. It has happened over and over again and this time they are telling us: “Enough!”
Maybe there are bubbles inside the Canberra bubble? I don’t know – I am just convinced the PM needs to seek out and listen to his female MPs, who have their own stories to tell.
An alleged rape has occurred inside the citadel of Australian democracy.
Our prime minister needs to be told why people are so angry. And it’s up to his female MPs to take it to him direct.
It’s not really a choice any more. For years there has been a ludicrous expectation by Liberal leaders that we female MPs can be wheeled out to defend these disgusting behaviours. When the power to fix the problem lies with them – not with us.
It has reached the point where our personal integrity is being publicly pitted against our loyalty – it’s upsetting and embarrassing and, frankly, they should not be asking that of us.
Tell him.
Step up, be hopeful and make the case for change. Most importantly, back one another. The moment has chosen us.
Tell him. (Graudian here)
 

Eek, heresy, a witch, a witch. Could we illustrate the finger-pointing harridan please, preferably with a comically open mouth and bemusing look?

 

Without a clear reason? But surely he was just standing by his mate, as dinkum mates are wont to do ...

 

Please could we have a snap of the anti-vax, fake-remedy-prescribing, climate science-denying. former furniture salesman, just to balance the books? So that then Polonius can prattle on about mindless loyalty, because oh how Polonius loves the mindless ...

 

But what is the party's cause? Does anyone have the first clue in these troubled times? It's interesting that Polonius didn't attempt to offer one, too hard, but perhaps the pond could help out with its time machine and take Polonius back, back to the grand days of Ming the merciless, and the party's cause ...

...In 1950, equal pay for women did not exist in the Commonwealth Public Service or in almost any other Australian workplace. Women had been seeking equal pay for equal work since the 19th century and Rischbieth and the Women’s Service Guilds of Western Australia were active in the campaign. When this letter was written, the Commonwealth Court of Conciliation and Arbitration was holding a periodic basic wage inquiry that was to include more debate about equal pay.
The legal basis for wage inequity between men and women was established in two decisions of the Commonwealth Court of Conciliation and Arbitration, which set a precedent for later cases. Both decisions were based on beliefs about women’s and men’s different needs and responsibilities.

• In a 1907 wage decision by Justice Higgins involving the Sunshine Harvester Company (the ‘Harvester’ judgement), men were granted higher pay because all men were assumed to be married and to have three children to support. Most women were assumed to be homemakers and supported by their husbands.
• In 1919, the minimum wage for women was set at 54 per cent of the male minimum wage. Again, this was based on the idea that all working women were single and had no need to support dependents.

Although written in 1950, McKenna’s statements still reflect a belief that men and women have ‘different needs’: that men, whether married or single, were the chief providers for their households and that women should be supported by their husbands or fathers. This ignored the reality that women were the sole income earners in many families.
The ‘differences in needs’ argument won in the 1950 basic wage inquiry (and in many later inquiries). The Commonwealth Court of Conciliation and Arbitration ruled that the basic wage for women would be set at 75 per cent of the male rate. This was a disappointing outcome for feminists and women’s organisations who had made detailed submissions to the inquiry. The female clerks would have to wait until 1969 for equal pay to begin being phased in.
Mr McKenna’s letter also states that women were to be admitted to clerical and professional work grades (the Third Division) of the Commonwealth Public Service because the Court had ‘a view to the provision of equality of opportunity’. By today’s standards, this does not seem to be a great change: only single women were admitted, and once a woman married, she had to resign from permanent employment. Single women in the Third Division faced major barriers to promotion, because men were unwilling to accept their supervision. The admission of single women to the Third Division was, however, the first step towards achieving equality in the workplace. (the letter here).

1969! How sad it had to happen after Ming had left in 1966, and even then it took the blokes a few years to get around to it ...

And so with all that, the pond's Sunday meditation comes to a close, with a Rowe which evokes the glory of the times, the ship of state sailing the troubled seas with skilled ease, and with more glorious Rowe here ...