Wednesday, May 08, 2019

In which the pond ends up Goughing Dame Slap by joining Robbin Hood's trusty Anglo-Celtic boncing band of merry socialists ...

The pond was reading an alarmist story in the Graudian the other day about Nigel Farage being kissing cousins with Alex Jones of Infowars infamy.  There were assorted quotes suggesting less than one degree of separation between Farage and Jones' own brand of weird conspiracy theories. 

Like this one:

April 2018
Jones: “Why is the left allied with radical Islam?”
Farage: “Because they hate Christianity. They deny, absolutely, our Judeo-Christian culture, which if you think about it actually are the roots, completely, of our nations and our civilisation. They deny that. They also want to abolish the nation state – they want to get rid of it. They want to replace it with the globalist project, and the European Union is the prototype for the new world order.”

Or this one:

December 2009
Farage: “We have a political class across the world that are basically aiming for a form of global governance. If you don’t believe me, look at what’s happening in Copenhagen. Governments are sitting there trying to sign us up to treaties on a very, very questionable concept of global warming caused by C02 emissions.”

There's more at the Graudian here but the pond had to stop reading because it all began to sound eerily familiar to any devotee of the reptiles at the lizard Oz. That talk of Judeo-Christian culture, that warning about Copenhagen. Hadn't anyone at the Graudian ever read the lizard Oz?

The pond long ago realised that a lot of the reptiles were kissing cousins with Farage, and so with Alex Jones and his wild-eyed conspiracy theories …

There was, for example, only one degree of separation between the wild-eyed Dame Slap and their blather …

How many times has the pond run this opener by Dame Slap? Countless times because the pond loves it so …

Cue yet again a flashback to Dame Slap scribbling in the lizard Oz in 2009, a story incidentally which ran in the WSJ … doing her very own Nigel, her very own Alex ...


And so on and on …

Yes, Dame Slap, Farage and Alex Jones are love children from the same conspiracy nest, so the pond perforce had to look at her latest outing in the lizard Oz today …

 

The pond gave a deep sigh. Not an Alex Jones view of the election …

The pond had sworn off the lizard Oz election coverage, but what choice did it have?

Half the reptiles were diligently working away on skewing and spinning the lizard Oz election coverage, while the commentary section was simply too bizarre for words …



Michael Doran on Trump being right? 

So Doran is okay with the Donald cosying up to a sociopathic Prince who's idea of justice is to assassinate journalists in embassies, or behead 37 in the public square and show off the heads as a warning? Or perhaps do a crucifixion because it's more showy (news.com.au here) ..

Well the next time a bunch of Saudi fundamentalists trained in the cult of Wahhabism decide to take out some American infrastructure, Doran can say 'you're welcome, come again any time you like … we loves ya and ya sociopathic ways, and even more to the point, we loves ya oil money and don't mind much that we have to hold our noses while plunging into the sewer in search of the shekels'…

And what's happened to the lizard Oz that they must fill their pages with detritus from the Speccie mob, even if it's the weird, warped version from the UK?

And then there was that talk of a "bonce". Has the Donald taken up a job editing the lizard Oz on the sly? Have they 'stollen' his spelling skills? Colbert will be pleased …

No, it had to be the wild-eyed Dame Slap, but the pond was immediately reassured it had made the right choice, because the Dame had been blessed with a Lobbecke, a sure sign she had maintained her reptile cult status … and what a Robbin Hood ripper it was …


Oh dear, she's just doing some straightforward shilling, spinning, skewing and forelock tugging in the manner of all the other reptiles this week … but the pond was now in so deep that to return would be as tedious as to go o'er … so the pond went o'er …

Hang on, hang on, she's not dragging musty Gough and those old moths out of the cupboard yet again? 

Why it's a sure sign that the reptiles think their readership is over the age of seventy … what are the vulgar youff of today to make of this talk of poor old Gough? Surely they could at least resort to talk of former Chairman Rudd? What happened to demonising him?

And as for this blather about Robbin Hood, we've already had that more than once in this election campaign, and already it's a boring meme…

The pond began to wonder if somewhere in the building some thoughtful reptile had put up a sticky note suggesting all columnists make mention of Gough and Robin Hood, and please, no mention that the Hood was a celebrated hero of Anglo-Celtic Judeo-Christian culture, a diligent worker for the poor and a brave standard bearer for democracy against authoritarian dictators of the Donald kind…

And what about that talk of the wonders of Hawke and Keating? Hadn't the pond read only the other day a dire warning by the bromancer to be wary of this Keating chap, this impudent fellow from a lost era?


Yes, it had, it had, the pond had read a dire warning about that dreadful Keating chap by the bromancer, it had, it had … but still the pond had to go o'er with Dame Slap …

How is that fair?

But back in the day didn't Robbin Hood redistribute wealth and become an heroic figure and star of stage and screen and a legendary figure in Anglo-Celtic culture, which sadly we seem to be losing, in the same way that Judeo-Christian fundamentalist bigotry seems to be loosening its grip. What of Folau? Wherefore Robin?

Never mind, how strange it is to see reptiles of the Dame Slap kind celebrating Hawke, Keating and Kelty, yet back in the day, the pond seems to remember the reptiles taking an entirely different view … a bit more like the warnings coming from the bromancer only a short time ago about that terrible Keating chap and his guru-like status, infecting weakling minds of the Dame Slap kind …


Go figure? 

And now the reptiles are wondering what happened to Malware's honeyed hypocrisy? But he did his duty and trashed the NBN, and surely it's time to move on … though in memory of Dame Slap's Alex Jones' conspiracy theories, perhaps the pond could pause to celebrate with a papal encyclical, with more news from the infallible Pope available here


Ah that's better …and so to go o'er with a final gobbet of Dame Slap …


Well to be fair Dame Slap has done her forelock-tugging duty as the Ancient Mariner, and she did remember to dig up the ghost of former Chairman Rudd, and she did manage to repeat in those final pars a mention of Gough and Robbin Hood (spelling courtesy of lizard Oz sub-editors), and the pond came away very pleased that at last it had a good reason to hate Rusty and all that medieval nonsense …


By golly, as anyone who can remember Gough will know, there was only one dinkum Robin Hood …and what a household name he was …

 

And they had prettier frocks too. None of this post-modernist neo-realist murky attempt at semi-historical nonsense … 

Back in the day, Robin Hood was a hero, and what a shame the reptiles seem to have completely forgotten their chance to go in like Flynn and celebrate their Anglo-Celtic heritage …

And now just to be fair, the pond should allow the bromancer to conclude with his final gobbet …


Well that's that, and the pond will do its strenuous best to avoid talk of the election on the morrow, since the reptiles, with their blather about Gough and Robin are inclined to make the pond feel very old …when surely the last few years of high comedy, leadership changes and the onion muncher playing the Sheriff of Warringah should at least get the occasional mention. Watch out Robin, there'll be plenty of wrecking, sniping and undermining of your legendary Anglo-Celtic status coming your way ...

But to wrap things up, at least we can avoid more talk of how English medieval traditions spawned socialism, unionism and all the other dread sins and instead celebrate with David Rowe the "bonce" factor …


That "bonce" might help the pond in dealings with Dame Slap and all the other reptiles. "Bonce" away Mr Rowe, with more Rowe "boncing" here




8 comments:

  1. I thought 'bonce' must have been hipster for 'head'

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dame Slap: "What followed was the economic mess foreseen by Costello: binge spending on botched and messy policies to subsidise pink batts and build halls at elite schools ..."

    No matter what anybody may say, the ability of reptiles to mangle and lie about history is unsurpassed. Anybody who vaguely remembers the Global Financial Crisis (GFC) - which most definitely was NOT forseseen by Costello - will recall that the pink batts and school halls (and not only for elite schools) were responses to the GFC that, along with strong government support for the banks and with some "helicopter money" granted to us Aged Pensioners (gracias Ken Henry), helped Australia weather the GFC better than virtually every other "developed economy" country - in short, unlike most other G20 nations, we dodged a recession yet again.

    If the Libs, and especially the Costello-Howard crew, had been in charge, we'd still be suffering from the 'austerity' they would have insanely enforced - just like "Great" Britain (still is).

    It's just like the Bromancer a day or so ago, claiming that Whitlam was responsible for rampant inflation and joblessness when the whole "developed world" was going through an extreme stagflation-depression (1973-75). Then again, maybe he meant that Whitlam was so mighty and powerful that he inflicted the evils of stagflation on the entire world.

    I can never quite work out in my own tiny brain whether they're shamelessly lying or whether they're so ignorantly stupid that they believe the crap they spout and thus, under the John Winston Howard defence, they may be spruiking untruths, but they're not lying because they totally believe their own crap.

    ReplyDelete
  3. GrueBleen wrote:

    May 7 -
    "The trouble is that there's way too many instances of "an essay worth reading, and too little time to read them - personally I gave up long, long ago. In many respects DP can only do what she does because the reptile outpourings she 'critiques' for us are very definitely NOT worth reading - they're just junk rants that can be discarded without further thought."

    Yes GB, DP does provide that function in a most entertaining and educational way. She does that so well I am compelled to go back and read the crud - in it's entirety - that prompted her response, such as what flows from a Greg Sheridan's pen/crayon. But when I do peruse Sheridan's work the thought occurs that DP seemingly picks the most low hanging fruit. Sheridan is hardly worthy of facing DP's steel.
    For that matter it is hard for this foreigner to believe that the clown car of conservative writers that provide the bulk of the material for DP's musings is the cream of the crop. Where is the reptile brain trust?
    There must be a anti-matter DP columnist out there whose positions while perhaps wrong
    leads one to reconsider the validity of the other persons point of view.
    It's just not possible for every Aussie right winger to have a brain the size of a flea's wedding tackle.
    Sheridan yes. But not all of them.

    "When the wolf is chasing your sleigh, toss him a raisin cookie but don't stop to see if he eats it."
    ...Banacek

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    Replies
    1. I guess, JM, that what you find depends on where you look. Personally, I think the Bromancer has gotten noticeably worse over time, but he's still very comparable with the rest of the reptiles - especially the likes of Dame Slap and the Oreo. But really all of the Murdochrat reptiles are about the same.

      I'm happy for DP to take out the Murdochrats though, for a couple of reasons:
      1. even the Murdoch Press can't be allowed to run free and uncriticised, and DP does it so well (as we both unstintingly agree).
      2. I simply haven't found anywhere in Australia a source of reasonable conservative thinking and writing - the usual suspects, Murdochia, Spectator Australia, Quadrant, are not within cooee (to use an ockerism)..

      Now from America, I can read Kevin Drum (at Mother Jones online) who though he isn't exactly a "right winger" isn't exactly a "left winger" either. But I don't know of anybody comparable in Australia. In the UK maybe there once would have been, but nowadays even the dregs of that once mighty empire is the domain of Murdoch and the likes of Johnson, Rees-Mogg and Farage.

      Of course a major problem, as my "too many instances" tries to even faintly indicate, is that even just the Anglo part of humanity produces more words, music and art every day than I will have time to take on board in my (remaining) lifetime. And the same for DP, so for her to be able to produce what she does in a day requires that her 'critiques' must partake significantly of the "artless art" (cf Buddhism).

      So, sorry, I have nothing to offer. Though maybe there's others (Diddy Wrote, Frank D ... ?) who might have a suggestion of two.

      Delete
  4. That there might be a brains trust cogitating away behind the public clown-face of Libertarianism is, to me, conceivable. After all, the social contract, the source, nature and extent of human rights, and optimal tuning of an economy remain debateable things. Labor has never really needed an intellectually robust core, since they are working with concepts which are readily understood.

    But for Liberalism (in the Australian sense), that troubled teenaged bastard of Reagan's optimism and Thatcher's ruthlessness, sulking in its room and hating on everyone and everything that doesn't validate its feels? I simply cannot see it. We talking the most anti-intellectual, antipositivist, non-philosophy imaginable. The "greatest treasurer ever" thinks the economy is a Neil Simon sit-com, "policy" is framed in three word slogans, we have a parliament of whores that makes it look like P. J. O'Rourke mis-spelled "Nuns" in his book title, and a citizenry so carefully cultivated in learned ignorance that an overwhelming majority are literally incapable of distinguishing fact from cant, or analyse even a newspaper article to determine if the author has a purpose other than pouring more bullshit in Augeas' stable. Even quite intelligent ones.

    Day after day in the campaign Dorothy wisely declines to mention, we see the histoire du jour being egg-boncing (I thought it had an "s", but never mind), or which insignificant, loser candidate who didn't curate his twitter feed, or Labor taking our Vegemites. The marketplace of ideas is closed for renovation. Reopening on the 12th of never.

    Both sides of the "discussion" accept this, with left wing journos and commentators both showing the same enthusiasm for playing Vladimir to the reptile's Estragon in this absurdist dramedy, a metaphor that falls down when you remember that, while it might not feel like it at the time, you do actually get to leave the theatre after a few hours of Waiting for Godot. To mix the metaphor, like Clov at the beginning of Endgame I've been telling myself for weeks: Finished, it's finished, nearly finished, it must be nearly finished...

    At risk of sounding like Dashing Donners, Australia has, almost in defiance of the laws of physics, intellectually declined from the vacuous, know-nothing wasteland decried by Donald Horne, who, it is worth remembering, wrote for both the Terror and Quadrant in distant and different times. Rational analysis is dead, and the only thing left that is worth the candle is Dorothy's often-far-too-gentle mockery.

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm. "a brains trust cogitating away behind the public clown-face of Libertarianism" ? Conceivable to you perhaps, FD, but I simply can't get my mind around a thought like that. The only semi-rational 'conservative' commentator that I can think of in Australia in the past 60 or more years is B A Santamaria - and even he recanted in his later years and went on to attack 'robber baron' capitalism.

      I might once have included Frank Knopfelmacher, but even fewer people remember him than remember Santamaria.

      So please do expand on that idea, I'm all eyes. However, as to PJ O'Rourke, he's written many, many books (always a sign of a butterfly mind with a bulldog grip) and i can happily claim never to have read any of them. Well, maybe just one (Give War a Chance) but I very happily can't remember a word of it.

      Discussions of Liberalism I'm happy to bypass, but I do recall re Ronnie and the Iron Lady:
      "She promised to follow him to the end of the Earth, he promised to take her there." Otherwise, I take your point about Labor that it has "never really needed an intellectually robust core, since they are working with concepts which are readily understood." Well, the past few centuries have not exactly been a right-wing powerhouse of conservative/right ideas, has it. Whereas the "left" has gone through many iterations and changes to basically become the societal intellectual norm. I wonder what's next ?

      As to "Rational analysis is dead" well of course it is since it has never achieved anything worthwhile - except in mathematics and science among a privileged very few, and now they are quite passe too.

      Delete
  5. GrueBleen, FrankD,
    Unhappily, I have to take you both at your word. Because then we are indeed "living in interesting times"(is that the correct quote?) in the Chinese sense. There is no hope for a Reptile Reformation, no matter how many times Dorothy tacks up her latest 95 theses.
    I have a question for you two. If Our Dorothy were an American, I am pretty sure a hip, informed person could make a pretty good guess as to her true identity behind her superhero mask.
    Her style surely gives her away. What say you? I ask for selfish reasons, hoping she has penned a Aussie version of Fear and Loathing in Canberra.

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    Replies
    1. Well I wouldn't take me at my word if I were you, JM :-). But thanks for the thought.

      I confess to not being overly curious about DP's 'real life' identity, I'd want to be in disguise if I ever went in for blogging, too.

      Nonetheless, if there is an 'Aussie Fear and Loathing', I just might be tempted to read it, so if you ever find one, let us know.

      Delete

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