Sunday, June 25, 2017

In which the pond gets into a Craven dystopian mood for a late Sunday treat ...


This day the pond dropped in on the last disc rental store anywhere within cooee of Newtown...

They're going out of business, and the closing down sale began today at Civic Video.

The pond wasn't looking to buy anything. Who wants 576p when 720 or 1080 is to hand at the click of a streaming button?

It was more nostalgia, like heading off to a drive-in theatre or going off to Archer City in Texas to check out the locations for The Last Picture Show (well there's no point going to look for the Capitol Theatre in Tamworth, but an ice storm put the end to that location recce in the lone star state).

No doubt it's a trauma for the Civic Video folk but it's been a long time coming. The insatiable intertubes devours all kinds of business model in its path - the profoundly stupid onion muncher thought it was just a glorified home entertainment centre, but it's also an information and data supplier that can move mountains, as well as commercial and government business models.

The hipsters will probably regret it in due course, and develop a disc fetish to match LP, 8 track, Phillips cassettes - the pond noticed a couple stocking up with sci fi, but disc was on death row the moment the monumentally stupid Sony (down there with the onion muncher) won the high def disc battle and lost the delivery war. They could probably have got a few more years of life out of high end discs if they'd been sensible, but they fussed and feuded, and the apocalypse came ...

Well it's not really an apocalypse, and the students who worked at the store will move on to other low paying jobs, and consumers will just get their movies in a different way, but it is an elaborate way of introducing the notion of times changing and apocalyptic thinking amongst the reptiles.

Almost every day someone at the lizard Oz has an apocalyptic end times kind of rapture, and this weekend it was Peter Craven, falling about himself in what seemed to be a fainting fit of agonised despair ...


Most generations think they live in dystopian times and many yearn for the golden age that preceded it.

But if we're talking about fires, the Great Fire of London fulfilled  Paul Hogan's line "this is a fire". The death toll was reportedly small, but it took out some 70,000 homes. The San Francisco earthquake did enormous damage and generated huge fires. Nobody managed to accurately report the final death toll - up to 3,000 - but it did destroy some 80% of the city.

The Great Fire of Rome ran for some six days, and though sources are vague, hundreds probably died and thousand were made homeless.

So why do the dystopian routine? Things might be bad in Britain, but it's hardly reached the black plague or living in Pompeii stage, though if you're one of the people who died or was injured or was an affected relative or friend, there's every reason to think of it as a personal apocalypse.

But Craven wants to stretch from the personal to the cosmic and the existential and the wanker, as so many in the lizard Oz want to do, because somehow fear seems to be the number one motivation for stories in the rag:


Well no, actually, the pond would prefer to think of the enormous stupidity of George W. Bush and his war criminal allies using WMDs as an excuse for doing payback which had nothing to do with 9/11 but which did generate many real apocalypses in the middle east, while back in Australia sophisticates make reference to dystopian novels and flap their hands in the air like chooks sighting an axe on the chopping block ...

As for the financial heart of New York, the last the pond checked, it was out of control, and pumping up stocks to a level that seems guaranteed to produce a bubble burst. And then we can start talking about another 2008 ...

But when a reptile is determined on scribbling with apocalyptic gear cranked up to eleven, everything is grist to the hysterical mill ...


Actually whatever impact Daesh is having in the west, it's this sort of megaphone hysteria which nicely suits their cause ... and yet it's SOP for the reptile rag ...


It's natural to ponder the books and films where dream edges into social nightmare?

Not if you were a customer at Civic Video Newtown and you're serviced by Malware's copper connection.

The pond keeds. Talk of imaginary and fictional apocalypses is all very well, but the world has had many of them - after all, a genocidal god almost wiped out humanity with a flood, and apparently did for all the dinosaurs, and some still admire Her and think She's a bit of a good sort.

But a movie, to paraphrase Gertrude Stein, is a movie, is possibly a rose on occasions, and getting agitated by by a fictional apocalypse is to jump at shadows.

The world is quite likely to endure many real future apocalypses, though the reptiles like to downplay the impact that climate science tells us is coming. Typically it didn't feature in Craven's text - perhaps he's been reading too much Lomborg or Lloydie or the climate science denialists that infest the rag.

No doubt there will be financial catastrophes, and future wars currently being devised might involve Australia again, but the pond suspects its personal apocalypse - coffin, say hello to crematorium - is likely to come sooner ...

Getting a house covered in ash is that sort of faux connection people make when they want to be directly involved in a catastrophe. Forget the ash. Having a house actually burn down is the real nightmare, and it happens every summer.

There's something comfortably removed about all this carry-on, and the pond suspects there might be a positive Hollywood ending in the offing ...

You know, after all the horror, the boogeyman gets back under the bed, in good time for the sequel.

What to do then, except put Craven on a crash course of Valium and give him a week off, while making it through the last steaming gobbet of despair:


And there you have it. At the very end, it turns out to be a great deal of fuss about nothing, a chance to trot out sundry references and boast of playing games with Ishiguro while eating fish and chips in an Adelaide restaurant (can the pond now boast about eating a hamburger in Quirindi while arguing with a shearer about how many Rocky movies there were in the franchise?)

After all, we should just put on a smiley face, and whistle "be happy" when nailed to the cross by the barbarians?

That's it?

Even worse, it has to be said that Craven seems to be entirely wet and completely clueless about decent disaster porn, which litters YouTube, and offers earthquakes, tsunamis, dashboard videos of car crashes, and extreme weather events ... and that's just for starters ...





Just don't expect to be renting it from a video store in Newtown any time soon ...


In which the pond comes to understand why Akker Dakker has lost favour in the herpetarium ...


The pond has a regular bone to pick with the reptiles and it's to do with the dissing of the venerable Akker Dakker.

This ancient, antique peddler of spite and bile has long lost his position on the front digital page, and has to be content at start of day with a listing inside the digital opinion page, alongside the terrible two - essence of Devine and petulant Peta ...

The pond has already looked at the terrible two this day, but dislikes playing favourites in the herpetarium.

A reptile ignored or demeaned is likely to be even more vicious when tickled ...and there's no one better than Akker Dakker at proving he's barking mad and as spiteful as a spitting toad, or perhaps a llahma. He'll howl at moon and nip at ankle as he pleases ...


It's worth watching this disingenuous Akker Dakker dissembling unfold, because Akker Dakker really isn't interested in the truth of the matter. He just wants to take down Waleed Aly ... and of course Waly is the eternally favourite punching bag for extreme right wing reptiles of the Bolter, Akker Dakker kind ...

Cue the Bolter ...


And so on - it's easily googled but the pond doesn't like linking to the Bolter. It only gives him clicks ... but the pond wanted to feature that Bolter attack because it's so piquant to see it in the context of Akker Dakker's queasy evasiveness this day ...


You see? It was the drink that did it ...

Now whenever anyone led with the notion that Monis and his type were deeply psychologically disturbed and barking mad, and incidentally pathetic and criminal - Monis had a particularly sordid career in criminal activities - Akker Dakker would have none of it ...

The juxtaposition of the Manchester murders with the release of the report into the Martin Place siege reveals the weakness of the Western response to the bloody perpetrators of terrorism. In both cases, the Islamist attackers were well known to the security authorities but for a variety of reasons were not believed to prevent serious threats to the public. Members of the military, police and other security agencies say they are forced to fight with one hand tied behind their backs because of the political weakness of their governments.

But when it comes to a crazy driving a van into a crowd of Muslims, that's a completely different story ...


Ah, so he was driven to do it, it was just a kind of wild justice, a revenge killing. Well, that's alright then ...

Funnily enough Waleed Aly didn't see the point in providing excuses ...


Actually, as the pond has said often enough, it wouldn't mind a lot of this activity was simply called criminal.

Daesh is at heart a bunch of slave-trading, women-abusing, gay-hating looting bandits, corrupt and corrupting, and no better than the old-fashioned pirates of the Caribbean, though cunning enough to pretend that their activities are somehow connected to religion ... (yes, the pond has been dipping into Daniel Defoe's very dry general history of pyrates, in tree killing book form, but available at Project Gutenberg here).

In much the same way George W. Bush pretended to be born again fundie Christian while embarking on schemes to bomb people into democracy and civilisation, only to discover that, for some obscure reason, they slipped back towards the stone age ... as if a bombing wasn't as good as a conversion...

That said, if terrorism is driving a van into a crowd of people with intent to maim and kill, then yes, there's a bunch of right wing crazy terrorists out there, as barking mad as any Islamic or left wing Red Brigade terrorist ...

But strangely, not in the world of Akker Dakker ...



Ah it's back to the booze.

But the booze didn't excuse or explain that cowardly assault on innocents in Portlandia ...

Christian had been a prominent and vocal participant in recent “alt-right” rallies in Portland. At a “free speech rally” in Montavilla City Park on 29 April he was captured on video wrapped in an American flag, giving Nazi salutes. Earlier that day, police reportedly confiscated a baseball bat from him. Local reporters captured him yelling racial slurs and threatening to shoot “anyone who tries to disarm me”. 
Cat Davila, who was among counterprotesters at the rally, said Christian “showed up part way through the event and came striding straight toward the counter-demonstrator crowd very purposefully waving a baseball bat by his side and staring us down”. As he drew closer, Davila said, police “blocked him and took his bat and from then on he just yelled a lot”. 
Christian’s Facebook page revealed obsessive concern with far-right themes. In recent weeks he posted memes and other material attacking “antifascist” protesters who have clashed with various “alt-right” rallies around the country. In the lead-up to the April rally, he posted: “Looking for a couple guys or gals down to unmask anyone wear[ing] a mask at the upcoming Free Speech March”, referring to the anti-fascist practice of disguising protesters’ identities. 
Christian also posted openly antisemitic and neo-Nazi material. On 9 May, he claimed to have challenged Nuremberg prosecutor Ben Ferencz to a future debate, in which “I will defend the Nazis”. The same day, he posted “Hail Vinland!!! Hail Victory!!!”, combining a familiar catchphrase that was used at a post-election rally by the activist Richard Spencer.

And so on - more at the Graudian here

Around this point, the truly barking mad will contend that this was left wing terrorism, because you know National ... Socialist ...

That's about the level of logic, empathy, care and understanding Akker Dakker delivers this day ...



So a man drives a van into a crowd of people intending to maim and kill, while shouting political slogans such as "kill all Muslims", and that's different to a man driving a van into a crowd of people intending to maim and kill, while shouting political slogans such as "kill all infidels".

Only in Akker Dakker's world. What a loathsome, repugnant old reptile he is. Some might even mistake him for a cane toad, which is possibly why even the Terrorists have felt the need to hide him in a back corner of the herpetarium ...

You have to be truly weird and deeply fucked to seem more deeply weird and alien than Miranda the Devine and petulant Peta ...

As for Ali, he can look after himself. The pond can never forgive him for associating with Scott Stephens, but his full piece is at Fairfax here, and this is how he ended it ...


Indeed, indeed.

Conclusion? It's as if Akker Dakker is determined to make Aly appear intelligent and reasonable, in contrast to the blathering of a loathsome old toad who should head back to the tuckshop as quickly as he can ...and munch away on stale doughnut of bigotry and hate ...

Well terrorism not being an easy subject for laughs, the pond thought a few old cartoons might soften the sour taste of stale Akker Dakker scones  ...



Oh and this mood lightens the mood too ...


Harumph. And we've been far too lenient on that invasive tribe of southern walri which is quite ruining sweet Antarctica ...


In which the pond doubles down with Miranda the Devine and petulant Peta ...


Of late the pond has been severely discombobulated ...

Until the last few days, each morning has conformed to a kabuki-style ritual: the planes roar in no later than 6.02 am, the pond wakes up and rushes off to check the cute reptiles in their herpetarium, scribbles a few annotations on their condition, and then gets on with the day ...

But lately the planes have fallen silent. Sure, this morning one sounded off at 6.23 am, but the pond is deeply disturbed ... and has begun to pray ...


If the planes fall silent, how long before the reptiles escape the herpetarium and wander into the night, their business plan in ruins?

It makes each day's observation that much more precious, that much more rich and pleasing ... the senses come alive when in the company of the Devine and petulant Peta ... especially when the Devine goes rogue ...


Think big indeed ... the pond is the the reptile meeting place for reptiles making blather ...


Well as the pond's mother used to say, it takes a truly bigoted Catholic to spot a bigoted Catholic, and so to the Devine text of the day ...


Now the pond has no dog, apple or holy wafer in this fight.

But anyone who has even spent a nanosecond at the lizard Oz would be aware that the reptiles and the tykes were in a state of hyper-agitation and uproar for days, with  hysterical front page coverage.

Waiter, a montage of reptile pages from the pond's vast archive, if you please ...





And so on and on ... and along with that front page blitz came this sort of story ... please, waiter just one, or we could be here all year ...



Now on the evidence, it seems clear enough that the reptiles of Oz, Simon Benson and dozens of others are in league with the rogue Catholics and the rogue CFMEU ...


The pond understands that there is no graver charge than to allege that the reptiles have been caught associating with rogue Catholics and filthy disgusting unionists ... but it has to be said, and the Devine is just the person to say it ...


Rogue Catholics ... and rogue reptiles in league with the CFMEU! The antithesis of Catholic teaching. Satanists, devil worshippers, destined to spend a billion trillion zillion years in hell ... which everyone knows is just the first day in hell using hell time ...

Is it any wonder the pond feels discombobulated? And a Devine reader knew exactly what was going down ...

 

Indeed, indeed. Congratulations rogue Catholics and rogue reptiles, you've been Devined ...


And now, because these days the pond can't get enough reptile stew - perhaps as a way to fill in the silence left by the vanishing planes - it's time to catch up with petulant Peta ... though for a moment the pond wasn't sure if it was on the right page ...


Oh wait, that does indeed seem to be petulant Peta, and in supercilious stereo vision ... 

And by golly after her tremendous reign with the onion muncher showing how it should be done - what glorious days they were, the pond still sheds a tear in memory - that Malware is certainly going to cop a bucketing this day ...


Whenever the pond reads petulant Peta, the pond's grudge against Malware for his ruining of the NBN - being at the behest of the onion muncher is no excuse for quisling forelock-tugging abasing ruination of the thing - seems like a gnat against a behemoth of bitterness ...


As with Catholic education, the pond has no fox in this fight, but reading petulant Peta always reminds the pond of some North Korean footage it once saw, where the Koreans conducted "scientific experiments" with animals in cages which saw them attack each other, with much wounding, maiming and mayhem ...

It was a kind of fight club exercise, reflecting the deep depravity of the regime, and it made the pond resolve to avoid the place at all cost ... and yet, watching this sort of conduct in its own reptile herpetarium, the pond can understand the appeal of the bloodlust ...

See how Peta bares her teeth, see how she snarls and snaps ... and bites ...


The bitterness is as palpable as that seen daily in the onion muncher ... 

The pond remains convinced it's a vast conspiracy to generate some sympathy for Malware. If the crazies think taking the country to the right of Genghis Khan is the solution, perhaps Malware's not so bad after all, even if he did ruin the NBN and generally is something of a fuckwit.

Perhaps there's a moral too ...

It's an old, perhaps ancient story, retold by First Dog, with the onion muncher and Peta taking turns to play the scorpion ...


And now if the pond might be so bold, it would like to pass on to Catholic education its own clever strategy for securing funding ...




Saturday, June 24, 2017

In which the pond presents a massive dose of reptile identity politics, wherein the identifiers all manage to sound identical ...


Whenever a war criminal scribbles a little something, the pond is always attentive ...

Way back when the pond became fixated on Albert Speer,  a seemingly intelligent man who became captivated by grandiose ambitions and delusions ...


Of course Speer was a grander war criminal than little Johnny, but still, little Johnny did his fair share of thousands dead and millions displaced, so when he talks about threats anew to basic freedoms, the pond wonders if he might talk about the freedoms enjoyed by the thousands dead, and the millions displaced...

Probably not ... it's probably more of the usual ...


Yes, it's the usual bullshit, with the usual guff about the traditional Catholic approach to homosexuality:

In the discussion which followed the publication of the Declaration, however, an overly benign interpretation was given to the homosexual condition itself, some going so far as to call it neutral, or even good. Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder. (More from the rat Ratzinger here).

To mythical hell with all that talk of intrinsic moral evil and objective disorder,  and while we're at it, to mythical hell for war criminals too, though with all the nonsense the rat wrote about Genesis, it seems fair enough to talk of the intrinsic objectively disordered moral evil of the Catholic church, and the bizarre notion that hell will catch up with the guilty...

Of course if you dare to express a contrary thought to the tykes and other believers in unicorns, suddenly there's much cluck-clucking and tut-tutting, while the war criminal little Johnny tries to score laughs from his comedy stylings about tolerance and inclusion ...


Inn the end, it's just a puff piece for a book, written by a war criminal, pretending to be tolerant, blathering on about identity politics while Catholics parade about in frocks to establish their identity ...


What a strange identity it is too. Wouldn't it just be simpler and easier to admit that wearing frocks can be fun?

Sadly little Johnny is just a warm-up, because this day the reptiles had the original on display ...


Now right from the get go, the illustration suggests there's going to be a lecture seeped in bigotry and intolerance, and the pond might get a little curt with Kurti.

How often do we see a story in the lizard Oz saying wearers of any form of religious regalia must make sure it isn't a symbol of the failure of integration?


Fancy the pond having a barking mad great aunt for a nun ... though these days they're a vanishing breed. That's the sort of failure of integration the pond can deal with ...

But that snap of the vanishing breed suggests the trick the reptiles will employ.

Always, when running this sort of yarn, make sure that you have an inflammatory picture of a delusional religious person at the top of the column ... like so ...


Stop right there. It's all the fault of the secularists?

What about the angry Sydney Anglicans? Let's not forget that Kurti is himself an ordained Anglican Church minister, and before heading off to the rabid CIS, was pushing Anglicanism at Saint James, King Street, in Sydney ... please, don't get the pond started on Anglicans, complimentary women and gays. We could be here all day.

As it is, because Kurti is inclined to rabbit on, we'll still be here for an ungodly amount of time, and the pond will understand those who wilt and fade under the pressure ... because it's just another serve of Xians at war with Islamics ...


Uh huh. So what about gay marriage? Is Kurti with Daesh on the matter? Head off to Quadrant if you like here ...

The ferocity and intolerance with which the new right to equality is demanded by same-sex marriage advocates threatens real harm to the substantial and foundational right to religious liberty as it has been understood and interpreted in Australia. Shorten’s claim that “at its heart, marriage equality is about removing discrimination from our laws” is simply the use of equality as a weapon with which to beat those whose understanding of marriage differs from his.
Deploying the concept of equality in the debate in this way has served not only to drive further apart the proponents and opponents, diminishing areas of shared agreement and threatening the tenor of debate, but also to threaten the right to religious freedom enjoyed by all Australians.

Of course he is - the fundamentalist have so much in common ...

What we're arguing about isn't to do with the rights of gays or women, what we're arguing about here is which form of religious fundamentalism should prevail ... (and by the pond's definition, anyone who thinks Adam and Eve is a guide to relationships can head off to herd camels).




Okay, the pond can play this game. Let's go French and ban all public displays of religious affiliation, and while we're at it, taxpayer support of religious organisations, including education, charities, and exemption from tax ...

There's no chance of it happening of course, which is why Kurti has to dance so finely around his assault on Islamics. Chances are, if someone notices that Islam is a delusion, they might also start to wonder about the complimentary women to be found in Sydney Anglicanism ...

Now around this point the pond can sense a certain restlessness in the ether ... and it's true many would be better off reading The Islamic Road to the Modern World, in the latest NY Review of Books, and luckily outside the paywall for the moment ...

But that's only for those who want to take an early mark ... for the rest, Kurti remains the assignment ...



The good news is that it's almost over, and the pond will rush on to the final gobbet ...



It's a classic fudge of course, but what was revealing was the comments section, where the howling mob came out in a jihadist frenzy.

The reptiles might only represent a couple of hundred thousand sales, but the purchasers are amongst the finest bigots in the land.

This one comment will have to stand in for the frenzy that erupted ...



It's a little bit more explicit than Kurti, but the pond invites those who can summon up the strength to go Kurti hunting online.

Meanwhile, for those wanting an honours grade, the dog botherer was also out and about today in the lizard Oz.

Being another, albeit minor war criminal and functionary, the pond loves it when the dog botherer starts carrying on like a Kurti ...



How much can a koala bear, prattling Polonius might ask ...seeing as how a bunch of angry white men shouting at clouds always manage to look and sound alike ...

Well let's make sure we have a picture of a kinda funny looking woman at the top of the page wearing a kinda funny looking hat to set the tone for what follows ...



Now the pond thinks it's deplorable that Ford called Miranda Devine a fucking cunt, because (a) fucking is a pleasurable activity, whereas splashing on the essence of Devine is like bathing in or swallowing undiluted sulphuric acid; and (b) cunts are extremely useful, both as a site for pleasure and as a way to produce offspring, and the Devine is neither pleasurable nor remotely useful.

What's really funny is the way that the dog botherer immediately gets down to the business at hand, which is always to attack someone on the ABC...

Staggeringly, the dog botherer never seems to mention certain kinds of vans on the streets of London, or a crazed Norwegian mass murderer, or even a couple of innocents killed in Portlandia for simply suggesting politeness might be an option ...

But that's the way it goes with the reptiles.

The question is, what to call these folk, if fucking cunts is far too joyous and happy a term.

The pond suggests tedious boring farts, with the caveat that if they're of a certain age, they might be called boring old farts, singing the same old tedious song of prejudice and one-eyed bile on a daily basis to a couple of hundred thousand purchasers, out of a population of some 24 million going about their business without any regard to what the old farts are scribbling ...



With all that talk of personal aggression, please allow the pond to pause for a sponsor's message.



Okay, time for the last gobbet from the minor war criminal ... because there's nothing like killing thousands and displacing millions to show how it's really done ...



Oh the pond just thought of another way to describe the dog botherer, which is both true and identity neutral.

He's a pain in the arse, a complete bloody pain in the arse ...a condition most of humanity is likely to suffer from at some point in life, though much more likely to have it come on if they eat the wrong foods, or read the lizard Oz ...

Luckily the same can't be said for TT, always with an eye for assorted identities and with fresher TT here ...wherein the honest cabinet is celebrated ...