In which nattering "Ned" and Dame Slap do their best for the Catholic Boys' Daily, while Killer cries freedumb yet again ...

 

 

 

 

Is it the right time for nattering "Ned" to indulge in a shocking dose of Vatican bashing? In the Catholic Boys' Daily of all places?

Clearly "Ned" is deeply troubled, and possibly a tad confused, in the usual "Ned" way, where dementia is always just around the corner ...

 

 

Splendid stuff, and the pond presumes that "Ned" was a little late in preparing his column, or he might have noted another issue in relation to the Vatican and the Catholic church, easily goggled or followed on Twitter - the pond regrets that, not being a user of Facebook, never having been a user of Facebook, it doesn't have the first clue about recent Facebook follies ...

 

 

200+k? 330k? Oh it's just a figure ...

Moving right along, it was with a great sigh of relief that the pond saw that "Ned's" velvet words had been turned into his dulcet tones ... though sadly the player has been emasculated in this screen cap, rendered as chaste as a priest in a tale by Boccaccio ...

 

 

The pond is left to wonder if "Ned's" voice quavered with indignation as he got agitated about "moral infamy", outraged at the behaviour of Chinese communists, yet not managing to mention the behaviour of priests in France ... or in all the other countries where the moral infamy has been notoriously infamous ...

 

 

What's so funny about this? "Ned" bleating about the authoritarianism of dictator Xi, apparently unaware that the Catholic church has always been a deeply authoritarian body, and in its day managed to find an accommodation with Mussolini, Adolf and in later times, the highly unsavory mango Mussolini, dangling the promise of control of women's bodies in front of their slavering lips ...

 

 

 

 

Of course there are more snaps than the pond could throw a stick at, but you catch the seig heiling drift and one will do, before moving on to "Ned's" last short gobbet ...

 

 

 

Indeed, indeed, follow the reptiles instead and bung on a war with China. But what's this? "Ned" has boldly declared that Taiwan is an independent country and that, as Hong Kong demonstrated, the notion of one country, two systems is an unseemly farce, and so we must organise a defence pact with the beleaguered democratic country forthwith? Stand boldly shoulder to shoulder with them, as we did for Hong Kong folk?

Sorry, it was just a passing pond dream, but, as the Catholic church's lickspittle authoritarian ways have slouched out into the open, what better way to continue than with an indignant Dame Slap, boldy defending the Opus Dei way of life, because when you're running a Ponzi scheme, you need devoted breeders to help stack up the bodies ...

 

 

 

 

The pond should warn that the reptiles decided Dame Slap was the right forum to insert all sorts of click bait videos, featuring and celebrating the fundamentalist tyke, and they remain in situ, though carefully neutered as screen caps ...

As for the rest, the notion that the onion muncher's willingness to accept a wafer as human flesh and wine as human blood, and do the cannibal thing on a Sunday had no influence on his politics is something you might only find peddled in the lizard Oz, Catholic daily edition, or perhaps Opus Dei ... but do carry on regardless, Dame Slap ...

 

Actually the pond would happily stoop to attack a political leader for being a Muslim, a Sikh or a Buddhist, should their religion influence their politics, as it clearly has with the very Trumpy Dom. When you've got the reptiles turning to Mark Latham to offer a defence, your shit must seriously stink ... (though to be fair, the pond should mention that your average zen Buddhist wouldn't see the point of being a political leader and so give up the chance for self-improvement, and would never need a Mark Latham to carry on like a pork chop) ...

As for the rest, the selective blindness of Dame Slap is remarkable, and the pond has to turn to the genuinely infallible Pope for a reminder of what Dame Slap and the rest of the reptiles have turned a blind eye to ...

 

 

But that's probably too hard for Dame Slap, much more at home frothing and foaming with faux indignation ... only for a little hoppity toad to emerge in the next gobbet ...

 

 

Forget Dame Slap's attempt at a little bible bashing, Elmer Gantry will always do it better, at least if Burt has the lead role, but did you note that sublime "think climate zealots who deride as deniers people who are curious about climate..."

 Suddenly her "Lord" Monckton ways and Dom's very Trumpy ways are just idle curiosity? Oh just give the pond a serve of horse paste, so it might all end now ...

And that reminds the pond it has a bone to pick with Keane of Crikey, who recently picked three who had done the most for climate science denialism in Australia. Naturally Clive made the cut, but then came these two ...

 

 

Really Keane of Crikey? No bonus points for pretending to be moving towards meaningful coverage of the need for climate action?

Really? ... while Dame Slap in her standard "Lord" Monckton, climate science will produce world government by Xmas way, blathers on about climate zealots and cancel culture and all the rest of the usual reptile talking points.

But while we're on a break, the pond does commend this Crikey note about the "Major", though the Major's piece turned to digital fish and chips wrappings last Monday ...

 

A nice observation, but now the pond must return to Dame Slap for a final gobbet, and (neutered) click bait video ...

 

 

Ah, the freedumb defence ... or at least freedumb to be a breeder and who knows, with any luck, a chance to let a killer virus do its thing ...

Well the pond could waste time building a Crikey-style critique, but that chant of freedumb reminded the pond that the Killer was also out and about this day ... and so room had to be made ...

 

 

Now the pond understands that Killer is haunted by Victoria, and comrade Dan, and being made to wear masks and such like, but really the pond should note that the reptiles have routinely been against a bill of rights.

The pond realises it only just left Dame Slap alone, howling at the moon, but here's a short-form howl on the matter of a bill of rights ...

 

 

Ah freedumb and activist judges and all that, but back to Killer crying for freedumb...

 

 

Indeed, indeed, and the pond should note that Killer himself was mentioned in despatches in a lizard Oz editorial on the matter ...

 

Yes, speaking of bricks in the wall, we don't need no lousy Bill of Rights, teachers cry freedumb and leave us alone, or not as the case may be ... just remember death is a form of freedumb, and the right to infect your neighbour and perhaps kill them is certainly more important than wearing a mask and acting like some Batman with a Freudian superhero complex ...

 

 

 

It so happens that a friend of the pond lost her mother last week to the virus. The infection wasn't readily verifiable, but the threat was very real for her, life-takingly real, despite being vaccinated. She was of an age, and Killer has long demonstrated that he doesn't much care if the elderly get taken out. What the fuck, just another day in the killing fields ...

But is there some good news, something to lift the spirits? Well, spoiler alert, the latest Killer outing actually comes in the form of a book, and no doubt will turn up one day, free for anyone with time to waste, in a street library.

Lately the pond's street library has been full of this kind of dangerous goods, and the pond has had to spend much time defusing them and removing them from sight, lest they create a different kind of pandemic ... (it's tricky work, this defusing of bombs, and occasionally the pond feels like it's in the opening sequences of The Hurt Locker).

This was the latest bomb ...

 

 

Now it's true that one came from Melbourne Uni press, and is the sort of tosh you might expect from a libertarian seeking a refuge from the IPA in a cushy university job ... and it's true that Berg only ended up at RMIT ... but perhaps some day, Killer's noble work for Connor Court might see him end up in the Woop Woop Institute of Technology, peddling libertarian freedumb and a bill of rights to his students ...

For now ... last gobbets, gentlemen, please ...

 

Ah, climate change ... and so the virtuous circle is complete, and so the pond can turn to Rowe to sum up the day's proceedings ...

And here the pond should why it always refers to Rowe's Twitter account here ...

Well the cartoons arrive a little late there, but that's fair to the AFR, which keeps him in work ... and when they arrive, there's usually a tag attached, such as "let us prey" ...

 

 

And the tag always resonates with the cartoon at hand ... because after today's proceedings, what else is there to do, but prey for a muzzled hound, while the reptiles cry freedumb?

 

 

 

In which the pond carries on groaning, before carrying on in a state of chaos ...

 

 

 

It's not often that the pond turns to Dame Groan in its hour of need, but just look at the tree killer edition of the lizard Oz this day.

There's silly Sharri still rabbiting on about Wuhan, there's simplistic Simon wanting to nuke the country, there's the Opus Dei man out for a stroll prior to taking over the state, and there's the reptiles trying to pretend a fundamentalist Catholic will end the state of chaos by offering a clear path to Opus Dei heaven ... even as, just above, the absent-minded reptiles celebrate the arrival of hospital chaos ...

And of course there's the reptiles pocking some more of Clive's money ... while poor old Crikey got suspended from Twitter for giving the former furniture salesman a hard time ...

 

Talk about a state of chaos! So what better way to soothe the pond's fit of the nervous nellies than a bit of planet-fucking from Dame Groan?

 

 

Oh how the groaner has long hated renewables and all this climate science tosh ... and just look at how those ugly things ruin the hills outside Canberra ... 

Say what, it's the sea? Stop being pedantic.

Stand back, make room, now please, Dame Groan, ignore hapless northwest England, and carry on groaning ... which, the pond should note, will be a splendid sequel to carry on complaining, after the smash hit carry on whining helped produce a series noted for carry on climate science bashing, followed perhaps by the series meisterwerk and climax, carry on denying, aka carry on the Nile ...

 

 

Good old coal, and silly old Boris (and hasn't Brexit turned into a raging success, but sadly the pond has recently celebrated Dame Groan's most excellent predictions concerning its excellent outcomes! Sorry, slaughtered piggies, sorry imported truckies, today is fuck the planet day!)

Of course it might not just be coal that saves the day. As noted above, the reptiles had a simplistic Simon EXCLUSIVE heralding the nuking of the country ...

 

 

 

And there was no push pulling in that polling. Just ask "would you rather fuck the planet or nuke the country?", and there's your answer ... but enough with the nuking, on with the groaning ... 

 

 

Um, dare the pond ask how the planet's going? Should we perhaps be at least seeming to be doing something? Might the climate scientists be on to a matter of some mild concern? Oh hush your mouth, and enjoy the last of the groaning ...

 

 

Indeed, indeed, who gives a fuck about the planet, and so with all the pond's tension and stress relieved, stray readers might forgive the pond if it turns its attention to matters of state ... the state of the cockroaches, that is ...

Oh sure Killer Creighton was commendably out and about maintaining the war on China ...

 

 

 

 ... but it would have taken enormous skill for Killer to work into that key speech his fear of masks and his yearning for the Covid killing fields, and after a cursory check - there was a click bait video featuring masks as well as CPTPP talk - the pond moved up to the top of the digital page ... 

 

 

Tick, there was Sharri; tick, there was the man of faith; tick, there was a bit of standard reptile "last straw" Comrade Dan bashing; tick, there was the clear path out of the state of chaos, and what's this, then there was Troy ...

Time for another tick? Or at least a nervous tic?

The pond almost never invokes the ancient wonders of Troy, but he seemed to be in a rage, and that was enough for the pond ...

Should have gone a year ago? But it was just a bit of good old fashioned New South Wales corruption. What's wrong with that?

 

Oh not the barrel of laughs man featured in a click bait video ... say what, he's gone too? Never mind, on with Troy's sacking ...

Phew, talk about Troy putting Gladys to the sword, but at this point the pond must pause to note that the reptiles inserted a click bait video ... and at long last, the pond realised that there was actually an opposition party in New South Wales, and it had a leader and the name was, and was he saying something sensible?

 

 

 

Of course, of course, reconsider. There's no need to resign for a mild case of corruption. Reconsider, it's the NSW state Labor way ...

And oh frabjous day, callooh callay, that was the last the pond needed to think about NSW state Labor.

Luckily the pond neutered that offering by way of screen cap and moved on to the last Troy gobbet ...

 

What a sacking by Troy! Almost as good as Brad taking down Eric ...

And in that spirit, time to pause for an infallible Pope ...

 

 

 

 

Speaking of defending the indefensible, the pond did another rare thing, and turned to Brad for word of things to come ...

 

 

 

Oh fucketty fuck, not another fundamentalist tyke who fancies himself as a hard man ... well, the pond rarely spends time with Brad, so must make the most of it ...

 

Indeed, indeed, sounds like a right royal bastard, as befits NSW 'roaches scuttling in the skirting boards,  but what about his assorted pledges, celebrated yesterday by the pond?

 

 

 

See more, see more! Come on Brad, sock it to the pond ...

 

 

What joy, at last someone who can join Dame Groan and help her carry on groaning ... not to mention all the other things we ever so 'umble 'roaches can carry on groaning about ...

Now any last tidbit Brad?  Or even an elephant?

 

Very messy? Sounds just like another dose of deeply corrupt NSW politics ... and who are we to complain when there's a Pandora's box of corruption out there? Surely we deserve our own little slice of corrupt conduct?

Time for the pond to move along, but not before ending with a Rowe for the day, with the standard reminder there's always more Rowe here ...

 

In which the Major goes to war with the bromancer, the Oreo has kind words for Hansonism, and the Caterist? Well worth an injection of Caterism in the hope he gets Cratered ...

 

 

 

 

See more of Dom Pettottet?

 

See less, see less! 

 

Head off to Facebook for flag waving and more of Dom? See less, see less, the pond never touches the stuff ...

 

 

 

 

 

If you question climate science? And just five years ago when the science had been long in? And all the rest was just horse paste? And all the rest of the very Trumpy stuff? See less, see less! 

Say what? The Opus Dei connection should get a mention?

 

 

Oh see less, see less. But what about the younger brother? Isn't that just too tacky and weird?

 

 

Yep, too tacky and too Catholic weird, see less, see less, and yet the reptiles are in a triumphant mood today, and no doubt Matt Kean will be extra kean to celebrate the news, and join his likely new leader in worthy scepticism  ...

 

So it's on with the usual for a Monday, though not before apologising to correspondents for missing some big stories, and thanking them for crucial updates ... 

Now, on with the Major, missing in action last Monday, but at last reporting for duty, suh ...

 

 

It's going to be a full day, especially as the reptiles have dived deep on the matter of the subs ...

 

 

And being part of the team, the Major knew how to lead ... when in doubt and with no subs to attack China, why then, dive deep and attack the ABC, that'll teach dictator Xi a lesson ...

 

Around this point, the pond began to wonder what is the point of the Major? Has he completely missed the bromancer? Is he so busy watching the cardigan wearers he hasn't the first clue what the reptiles' top expert has been scribbling?

The pond pressed on, now letting out sundry gases, filling with water, and feeling a deep sinking sense of something majorly wrong ...

 

 

 

Still no mention of the bromancer and his conclusions? Media consumers expect the Major to rabbit on about the Graudian, and the cardigan wearers, but expect more when they've forked over hard cash to become part of Chairman Rupert's satanic cult ...

 

 

Astonishing! An entire column and not one mention of the bromancer, banished, silenced, sent to coventry ...

For the record, here's the last few offerings by the bromancer, outrageously ignored by the Major, yet faithfully regurgitated in the pond ...

 

 

Poor bromancer, shamefully ignored by the Major and reduced to being a reptile voice in the wilderness ...

Speaking of being banished, the Oreo this day reveals that her form of recovering feminism sees her find sisterhood with Hansonism ...

 

 

 

 

 

Ah yes the reformed, recovering feminist crying freedum for bigots ... and what's even weirder is the old notion of trotting out the scold's bridle, as if Hanson has ever been silent, or silenced ...

 

 

 

So that's where reformed, recovering feminism gets you, but the reptiles knew the real problem, and so shoved in a click bait video obligingly labelled Social Media by what passes as the reptile graphic department these days ...

 

 

 

 

 

Of course the pond neutered the offering, but felt the need to leave it in, because whenever the pond hears "cancel culture" it reaches for its Glock ... little knowing that, after even more pleading for Pauline by the reformed, recovering feminist, an even worse insertion was to follow ...

 

 

What the fuck? The reformed, recovering feminist in company with the bigot and the dog botherer, and yet more talk of "cancel culture", and suddenly the pond finds the Glock now in hand ...

 

 

Say what? The Oreo still considers herself a feminist? Perhaps the school of feminism devoted to Oreos, as revealed by Colbert?

 

 

 

Well it's more amusing than keeping the company of bigots ...

And so to the wrap up, just because the expert in the movement of flood waters in quarries is at it again ...

 

 

The moral question of our age?

Maybe in the Catholic Boys' daily, and here the pond must pause for a moment just to record some of which it will be missing this day, which it will have to leave up to correspondents ...

 

 

 

Yes, the tykes are out and about this day in the Catholic boys' daily, and simplistic Simon is on hand to ease the pond's disquiet, because who better than the reptiles and the Chairman and the speaker in tongues to an imaginary friend to take down dictator Xi, and so settle the pond's disquiet?

Now thoroughly alarmed, the pond returned to the Caterist, in the hope of catching Covid and thereby ending it all, though come to think of it, spending time in quarries with the Caterist trying to discern the movement of flood waters might also do the trick ...

 

 

 

Is it wrong of the pond to hope that some day someone in the Menzies Research Centre might report to work with Covid, and the pond might then read about the Caterist going down with the bug?

Possibly it's a bit mean, but the pond is still on the lookout for additions to its death wish mob ... and the Caterist should by rights be a prime candidate ...

You see, in aged-care homes, spreading the flu through the corridors is a bit like wandering through with a hatchet, or a needle armed with arsenic, a little less spectacular perhaps, with just a cough here, a cough there, but just as lethal ...

Naturally the Caterist is on the side of the lethal, and the deadly, which is why the pond wishes a little might happen to pass his way ...

 

Yes, this Dean should be worthy of a goodly dose too, but what's the funniest thing about this? Well it puts the Caterist firmly in the camp of the Byron Bay mob, the anti-vax, just take the zinc and horse paste crew ... ratbag libertarians and Nimbin hippies wanting to preserve their bodies, and giving the graphics department a chance to join in ... yes, it was only a few gobbets ago, but this is the company the Caterist is keeping ...

 

 

 

Yes, don't you worry about some ratbag turning up to work ready to spread their delusions along with sundry bugs, though with a bit of luck it might just happen at the Menzies research centre ...

 

 

Oh just fuck off, with your bullshit libertarian claptrap, but with the pond's best wishes and the hope that you might still cop a dose of something ... 

Luckily, the pond is well over its sovereign citizen, first and twelfth amendment auditor jag, and has had enough of the loonacy, without adding a loonatic Caterist to its logarithms ...

And so at last to relief, and a change of pace, with a double barrel Rowe this day, returning the pond to where it started off, and with more Rowe always to hand here ...