In which the bromancer diligently works for his orange Jesus, Mein Gott takes to the air, and there's the obligatory Tuesday Groaning ...

 

What a moment of pride and joy for the pond, the lizards of Oz, the IPA and the reef-riddling Riddster.

There he was, centre of attention in Media Watch, is rebel scientist Peter Ridd right when he says climate change is not a threat?

Lloydie of the Amazon was there too, in more than a walk-on role, as lizard Oz regurgitator of the Riddster's reef riddles (and given handsome colourful splashes in the tree-killer edition).

Never mind any of those records and all the alarmism that's gone with them ...

Even better, Gina of the IPA (and other associated brands) was also featured in MW in Gina says, which noted the way that the lizard Oz parroted whatever Gina says. 

Handsome, nicely feathered parrots, though not so well hatted as Gina.

It did occur to the pond, watching Gina perform, that she was badly in need of media presentation training - she was, to put it kindly, godawful - but perhaps she's already done a course, and this was the best they could shape with the clay to hand.

On the other hand, she made a strong impression on the infallible Pope this day ...

What's in it for the reptiles? Why do they humiliate themselves in this way with their relentless simpering and sucking?

Here a story in Crikey (paywall) about the rewards for heading a team of grovelling panderers ... Daanyal Saeed tracking Australian media executives payouts. This one caught the eye ...

Sheesh, how can the pond sign up? There's plenty there for a bloody big prepper kit and a handsome bug out, or a chance to join Gina on that Pope-ian ark.

Whatever, the pond never dwells nor broods on past media glories, the lizards of Oz are always at it ... and what do you know there was Gina again today, looking ever so pretty in pink, and with a lot of filthy lucre to her name.

What a cute outfit, so gay and so suitable, because what a hardcore worker, with inheritance nothing to do with it.

There was also an MSO culture war to get the reptiles excited, with some ning nong operating under the delusion that the y'artz should be neutral (neutered if you prefer).

Tell that to the reptiles, who wouldn't know how to be neutral if a neutered metronome bit them on the bum.

Over on the far right in the commentariat section, it seems that Konstantin Kisin has now set up some kind of residency at reptile HQ. 

For those who came in late, Kissin describes himself as "an Anglo-Russian satirist, author and co-host of the popular podcast Triggernometry."

His line? "I recently tried to elicit from an academic his view of the negative trade-offs of mass immigration. I might as well have asked him about the negative trade-offs of curing cancer."

The pond didn't bother attempting to elicit from Kissin the negative trade-offs of having Anglo-Russians wandering around the globe describing themselves as satirists. 

You might have asked Kissin about what it's like to live in the shadow of Vlad the sociopath, who's driven thousands, perhaps millions, of Russians from their homeland, to seek shelter from the sociopathic storm in other lands, but you might just as well attempt to cure a sociopath-induced cancer...

Enough already, time to get on with today's offering, and it's been a while since the pond paid attention to the bromancer doing his best to get the mango Mussolini elected ...

The pond loves the way that the bromancer always manages to remain in the closet when it comes to the mango Mussolini. There's always some gigantic billygoat buttism of the kind "This column is no unqualified admirer of Donald Trump", preferably third person and inanimate.

Yet in a two horse race, if you do down one horse, perforce you're for the other ... and truth to tell, the Donald suits the bromancer's style and taste ....

That was the pond's attempt to provide a more interesting visual distraction than the usual reptile distractions...

The bromancer lathered himself up into a fine old righteous frenzy ...

Indeed, indeed, when it comes to constructing a normal English language sentence, the bromancer never looks beyond his orange Jesus ... he loves the weirdness of the musical stylings ...

What could the other pair possibly offer the bromancer?

Now don't you go musing about the great days of the orange Jesus and tax cuts and a spending frenzy, just marvel at the way the pond bit on that link, only to discover that it led to the WSJ component of the hive mind, and completely irrelevant blather about the now forgotten DNC ...

How many times must the pond fall for the old hive mind link routine? All it does is take the pond away from the bromancer getting agitated about George Orwell. Apparently the bromancer is unaware he lives in a hive mind that would make 1984 proud ...

Meanwhile, on another planet, voters are lining up for their say ...

Then there was just one short gobbet go go ...

On the other hand, let's celebrate all that's good and energetic in America's political culture ...

He used the same chainsaw on Faux Noise, and the brain surgery on the bromancer passed without a hitch ...

And now, before proceeding to the usually disappointing ritual of a Tuesday groaning, Mein Gott, the pond and Mein Gott will not be denied. There's always an apocalypse pending on a Monday afternoon, and this one was a ripper...

It's all Jimbo's fault of course. In the Carlyle theory of history, it's always a man, and in case you got bored, there were plenty of visual distractions ...

The pond was pleased that Mein Gott raised the matter of Geoff Dixon, because it gave the pond a chance to flash back to an ancient Crikey story ...

What grand days they were, and the pond almost resented returning to Mein Gott ...

Oh heck, the pond jumped the gun, but wait, there's a second gobbet relating to those glory days ...

And with that time to head back to Mein Gott ...

Tremendous stuff, and tremendous outcomes ...

And then Mein Gott just dribbled to a close ...

Indeed, indeed, it's all Jimbo's fault, and Qantas and the whole airline mess only started, as the pond recalls, thanks to that bloody useless 2022 election ... why when Geoff Dixon was in charge, it was all plane sailing ...

And so at last to the obligatory Tuesday groaning. It might be thought that Dame Groan would be outraged at the way that the federal government promised something, went back on its word, then did a flip flop, and attempted a half-baked revival of its promise. 

But only those with no knowledge of Dame Groan would think that ... in her planet, above the faraway tree and next to Dame Slap's, there was simply no need to do any of it. A simple survey or perhaps a poll would have sufficed ...

Indeed, indeed, only Dame Groan knows, and the reptiles kept the illustrations and distractions down ...

That allowed room for Dame Groan to embark on a classic lecture ... a history lesson for the ages ...

The pond was doubly pleased. There simply wan't room to contemplate other forms of fatigue ...

If only the silly billies had realised they could have done it in a survey ...

Indeed, indeed, and the pond thanks Dame Groan for her suggestion that asking about religion should be stricken from the record. Let's not have any talk about religion playing a significant role in this country's affairs, and ditto all the rest of the useless questions. Why with suitable guidance from Dame Groan the census could be reduced to one page - two at most - and all the rest done by survey ... 

And with that it was time for a final gobbet of sage advice to a struggling government ...

And, judging by Dame Groan's advice, left to sort out the mess of its own making without a single useful suggestion from Dame Groan ...and serve 'em right.

It's not the only front on which the government has been forced to take a deep dive, as noted by the immortal Rowe ...

What's worse, they have an astonishingly attractive competitor too, who has absorbed all the best of domestic and bewigged US politics...