In which the pond has a train trip ...

 

As a travel blog writer, the pond should report on train travel between Sydney and Melbourne. This will have absolutely no interest to anyone, but it maintains this site's absolute refusal to indulge in herpetology studies. For the moment, this is a travel blog.

First thing to note was that the train quickly began to run late, some thirty minutes while still in NSW. This was due to men waving red flags, signalling something or other, in a way designed to appeal to Ms Alito. 

Many promises were made over a barely functioning PA system that attempts would be made to catch up. Instead during the Victorian leg a further 20 minutes of lateness was added, for a grand total of 50 minutes of lateness. The pond can't recall catching a train in recent years in Australia that hasn't run late (not so in Japan, where running late would have produced an act of seppuku).

Does everything in Australia run on the principle outlined by Wilcox?

The lateness didn't disturb the generally soporific +70 demographic (the age range seems to have shifted by a decade firmly in to the +70 camp). The pond did spot one young vulgar youff, suitably pieced, and with pixie hair cut getting on at "The Rock" but she disappeared into economy (the station was apparently named after a legendary visiting Hollywood movie star, or so a local reliable source told the pond).

As for the scenery, it was unremittingly dull in the Australian way, though there were a goodly number of 'roos outside of Albury.

The staff were cheerful, with one letting out an incessant string of "darlings", which took the pond back to its amateur theatre days, where it once was used as a warm prop (it also reminded the pond of Sydney agent Jane Cameron who knew how to deliver a "dahling").

The highlight was possibly the passenger who for some reason failed to get off at the right station and had to be picked up at Cootamundra.

The miracle was that she managed to communicate with her relatives. The pond has spoken before about the appalling state of 4G on the Hume highway, but that was sheer luxury compared to the coverage on the Sydney-Melbourne line.

Perhaps the train acted as a Faraday cage, because between towns, there was absolutely no connectivity, and at stations, a very feeble signal.

It wasn't the pond's phone. It had been upgraded to take in the joys of 5G, after months of nagging by Telstra. Perhaps it was just Telstra, which never got 4G right and has now embarked on 5G without getting any decent coverage in the bush (see Wilcox cartoon above). 

To rub salt into the wound, as the pond was passing the mighty Wang (an informed local advised this was the way to refer to Wangaratta), Telstra messaged the pond with a boast about upgrading the service, which might result in some lack of service. 

That was a bit like a previous Telstra email advising that there were going to be mighty changes to the network, without noting any of the changes and advising that nothing needed to be done. Except perhaps to change providers ...

Speaking of the bush, the pond was however delighted to see that Tamworth had again made the news, thanks to Punxsutawney Pete and the Daily Terror...

The pond had enough momentary signal to read Peter Dutton took $23k private jet to News Corp event where he spoke on cost-of-living crisis.

The opposition leader, Peter Dutton, used a taxpayer-funded private jet to travel to a News Corp event in Tamworth, claiming $23,000 in travel expenses to speak at the summit where he criticised the government’s response to the cost-of-living crisis.
Despite multiple flight connections daily between Canberra and Tamworth, it is understood Dutton had a pre-existing commitment, meaning no commercial flight could get him to the Daily Telegraph’s annual “bush summit” in August 2023 in time.
The latest round of political expenses, published by the Independent Parliamentary Expenses Authority (Ipea), reveal politicians’ spending for the June-September 2023 quarter...

...Dutton also claimed $199,694 on “unscheduled commercial transport” – a category which often includes charter jet travel and long taxi fares, as opposed to “scheduled commercial travel” which includes standard commercial air fares.
The opposition leader’s spending on unscheduled commercial transport was by far the highest reported by Ipea in that quarter. The next highest was the Nationals leader, David Littleproud, who claimed $44,339.
Dutton’s claims reported in the June-September 2023 quarter included travel to remote regions Laverton, Leonora and Nhulunbuy in February and May 2023, visits related to Indigenous affairs and the voice referendum.
He reported three flights – from Perth to Laverton, then on to Leonora, and finishing in Adelaide – over 20 and 21 February, reported at $32,606 for each leg. A Nhulunbuy to Archerfield flight on 18 May – where Dutton attended the memorial service for Indigenous leader Yunupingu – was reported at $45,970.
A Canberra to Tamworth flight, on 11 August, was claimed at $23,300.
Dutton appeared at the Daily Telegraph’s bush summit, an annual event focusing on regional and rural issues, on 11 August.
“Mr Dutton did travel on a chartered aircraft from Canberra to Tamworth only, under his entitlement as leader of the opposition,” a spokesperson for Dutton’s office said in a statement.
Dutton also claimed a commercial flight from Tamworth to Sydney later that day, and then on to his home city of Brisbane, indicating the charter flight was taken only one-way.
Qantas operates several commercial flights a day from Canberra to Tamworth, connecting through Sydney. Virgin also operates flights to Tamworth from Canberra, via Brisbane.

What Punxsutawney Pete needs is to experience high speed rail travel in Australia, though 12 hours on a train is perhaps a few hours too long, not helped by landing in Melbourne to discover it was freezing and the there was a glitch in the tram service.

Meanwhile, the pond is reassured that the best minds are intent on fixing everything ...

As for the world, this managed to slip through to the pond via The New Yorker's newsletter, though whether it should appear in a travel blog is another matter ...

"Team Trump is up by thirty-nine felonies, but it's still anyone's game"