mein gott, there's much to entertain entertaining correspondents in this outing, and there's a nattering "ned" too ...

 

What to do with a woman who on all the probabilities has been raped in her boss's office - according to a learned judge running a lion's den? 

Why you keep on symbolically and metaphorically raping her for as long as you can ...

The pond should honour the source of that EXCLUSIVE, spotted last night...

Well played Dudders, you've duddered on for months, and still the pond doesn't dive into the duddering pool, but here's a cartoon for you ...

And here's another EXCLUSIVE that was recently at the top of the digital edition that the pond won't be covering ...

Renewables. Almost as inexhaustible a reptile topic as a raped woman. Well played Rachel, but really where's Lloydie of the Amazon and the Riddster when they're urgently needed, to help explain away all talk of world bleaching events and unseemly temperatures?

And so to today's reptile edition ...

The pond notes that Dudders was still top of the page this morning, while the bromancer occupied the much desired far right position, but the pond decided to red card the fueler of ancient hatreds, because "Ned" had hovered into view, and the pond knew its duty ...

A quick check below the fold confirmed the pond had made the right choice ...

The reptiles thought so much of "Ned" that they had given him two slots, while the pond could only note with disdain that yet again Jimbo had turned up to help the Chairman's paywall ... and does he help out punters not behind the paywall, keen to discover the government of the day's thinking? 

Sorry, the last 'opinion piece' on his very up to date website appeared on 23rd July 2023 ... but the Chairman thanks him for his service ...

Meanwhile, if you believe simple Simon and Claire (the one without the cackle) we should be cool, so the pond could ignore Parker's and Kilcullen's attempts to distract from the ongoing genocide by famine  with their blather about China and Iran...

Enough already with the headlines, and thanks to the splendid burst of correspondent notes yesterday, the pond is convinced it's on a winner with its Mein Gott offerings.

He's prolific to the point of profligate and if you enjoyed him as a defence expert, you must love him as an economics tipster up there with the best of Dame Groan's groaning ...

The reptiles knew that Mein Gott knew wot was wot, so they helped out by flinging in snaps of mighty stock exchanges and even mightier arcades, full of symbolic meaning ...

What a pity they didn't have an immortal Rowe to hand to help with the shopping fever ...

meanwhile, back with mein gott, there are many reasons to enjoy his work ... not least the banning of capitals ...

mein gott, there will be some that might need decoding what "embracing the need for diversity" actually means.

some might have taken it for dangerous radical fully woke d.i.e. stuff, d.e.i. if you must, but relax, it just means embracing the diversity of nuking the country, salivating over sweet innocent coal and and enjoying in major bloodnok style, the pleasure of emitting gases ...

you know, if you look closely, you can see lovable clean dinkum virginal coal still diligently at work everywhere ...

mein gott, you might exclaim,  in all this, not a mention of the singular truth about the state of affairs in the marketplace?

Perhaps you might like the Graudian or the Forbes editor with that ...

Back to Mein Gott ...(not using capitals gets wearing after a time).

Is that not as good a cry of despair, a Ginsbergian howl into the wilderness, as any Dame Groan has produced?

In the spirit of the pond's correspondents, the pond offers this as a cure for impending poverty ...

Of course it has nothing to do with Mein Gott, but the pond will always find an excuse to honour Carl Barks, and besides, Mein Gott was worn out and only had a short gobbet left in him, crying out yet again that we'll all be rooned, though perhaps not to the extent of the famine in Gaza ...

And so, economy wrecked because of a woke lack of diversity, the pond must tackle the Everest known as "Ned", in full Quad ranter mode ...

Warning, there will be cartoons. The pond can't expect anyone to make it to the top of the "Ned" Everest without a few 'toons at way stations ...

But isn't sleepy Don, Don Snoreleone, if you will, a creature of Faux Noise? 

Hasn't the emeritus chairman and his minions done everything they could to sell the snake-oil salesman's snake oil, including but not limited to his sleepy time ways?

Why, he's done so much for the elephants ...

Sorry, back to the grinding climb, one grim foot after another on the trudge towards the top, and warning, there will be dastardly progressives along the way ...

Ah, the end of history man ... and just to emphasise the point, the reptiles offered a huge snap of a man who managed in spectacular fashion to get much wrong, and therefore suitable for quotation by "Ned", always adept at getting much wrong himself ...

The pond would have preferred an infallible Pope reference, which takes in most of the reptiles ...

Back to the trudging, and be assured, there is an end to this bloviating Everest, the end is almost in reach ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, still banging on about the Voice, and still incapable of comprehending all the gifts Faux Noise lavished on the United States, the very same malarkey that Sky after dark would lavish down under if they could just find the numbers ...

At this point, the reptiles helped out "Ned" with a huge snap of Vlad the sociopath, beloved of the Donald and the GOP ...

Luckily the pond had a cartoon to help out with that ...

And so to the last gobbet, which reveals that the pond wasn't joking about "Ned" having turned Quad ranter ... there it was, as bold as brass at the end of the gobbet, though you had to wade through some pompous, portentous claptrap to get there...

Confront the source of the problem? 

The day that "Ned" does a takedown of the Emeritus Chairman, Faux Noise and Sky after dark is the day that the pond can stop delivering reminders of the work and deeds and thoughts of the evil Empire ... and their creations ...

And for those still wanting to Barks at the moon, the pond believes if you click on this you can see the earlier panel in a larger context ...