In which there's two epic reptile rants, but alas, no Dame Slap ...

 

The pond decided unilaterally and without any consultation that this was the best line of the week, captured and killed at the Daily Beast (paywall)

The American Media Inc. (AMI) chief told jurors he had grave concerns that buying her story in a “catch-and-kill” scheme to protect the future president could potentially sully the National Enquirer’s reputation.

This narrowly tipped out Dame Slap, quoted in the Weekly Beast...

...Albrechtsen wrote this week that, in fact, too many other people took sides in the Lehrmann-Higgins saga. And the Australian was not among them. “When guided by principles, there is no taking sides,” she wrote.

... though it was a close run thing, given the reputation of Dame Slap up against the National Enquirer's.

Amazingly, she attempted a comeback this weekend by scribbling about the art of writing and the importance of editing, seemingly unaware that a little humanity might also help ... 

Look, there in the top far right top of the world ma spot highly desired by the reptile 'leet ...

Bizarrely, the reptiles decided a reminder of Diana would be a good way to celebrate the return of King Chuck to save the empire, and even more bizarrely, Cameron Stewart offered the perfect solution to dictator Xi ... say a little prayer. 

You know, the moment the pond wakes up and combs its hair and wonders what to wear, it says a little prayer ...and that'll surely teach Chairman Xi a lesson ... (in the futility of dingbat fundamentalist Xian prayer).

Sadly Dame Slap and her thoughts on saying less and meaning even less had to give way to two epic rants ...

The bromancer and the dog botherer, forming a tremendous tag team, were on hand and attention had to be paid, as they did their usual gardening in the dark, which meant no space for a baker's dozen, nor any welcome mat for the tremendously tedious, always ululating Uhlmann, slipping into the war with China by Xmas without a pause for breath...

No doubt he'll cop a guernsey in due course, but right now there's a new Everest in town to replace the "Ned" challenge ...

Yes, it's one of those epic bromancer Ginsbergian howls, full of weirdness, nonsense and bile, delivered in a frenetic frenzy in quintessential bro style ...

At this point, with the reptiles in the angertainment business, there began a series of images designed to enrage or terrify the over sixty demographic,  and as usual, the pond decided to shrink them and dismiss them as a bulk item ...

The sheer number of snaps was a good indicator of the extent of the Ginsbergian howling at the moon that was routinely interrupted by the snaps ... allowing each gobbet to emerge with the full blown taste of a delicious fried dim sim from the South Melbourne market ...

Derivate leftist movements? Wow, that's the first the pond's heard that the GOP, MTG and Yale hillbilly Vance are lefties ...

Sorry, the pond should avoid slipping in visual distractions to fill the holes left by the absent bromancer snaps ...

It'd be wrong to get in the way of the Ginsbergian howl ...

Hmmm ... social media ...

Oh okay, the pond knows what it said about visual distractions, but always wanted to find a home for that cartoon ...

Now back to the over-reacting, verging on hysterical bromancer...

Nearly accepted wisdom? Perhaps in Sharri land, disrespect, but the accepted wisdom is that nobody knows for sure, and given the way that Chairman Xi conducts business, nobody is likely to know for sure, and in any case given the ways of an over-heated planet, blaming it all on a Chinese lab is an easy excuse up against the proliferation of all sorts of viruses, plagues and diseases. 

Once upon a time you could leave Ross River fever to the toads, but now it's everywhere ...

Sorry, that talk of fever dreams almost made the pond miss that splendid example of the prejudices of the reptiles (now unwoke) ...

Sheesh, the urge to interrupt and distract is strong, like an all-day sucker ...

Here it's possible to see the wisdom of removing the snaps because the bromancer's gobbets get shorter, and so the focus can be on the silliness, as for example the notion of the greatest possible transparency, because if you want an example of corporate gibberish purporting to be transparent, look no further than News Corp itself ...

Say one thing and preach another has always been at the core of this North American company ...

Luckily the next bro gobbet was short ...

 

Is it that long ago that Alan Seymour wrote The One Day of the Year?

1958?! Lordy, long absent lordy, those were the days ...

This alcohol-fuelled debasement is represented in the play by the working-class father Alf Cook. Belligerent and resentful of foreigners and anyone with an education, Alf clings to Anzac Day like a drowning sailor clings to a life raft. Boozing is just part of a noble tradition.

"I'm a bloody Australian, mate, and it's because I'm a bloody Australian that I'm gettin' on the grog. It's Anzac Day this week, that's my day, that's the old digger's day." (still being staged in 2003)

On with the howl...

Luckily David Rowe celebrated the orange Jesus and the doings of SCOTUS, a deeply corrupt body of late ...

It's always in the detail, the unfairly persecuted orange Jesus worshipped by the bro...

Or perhaps in the way of doing business ...

And then came a line the pond has always expected from a fundamentalist tyke ...

Here's the crisis in a nutshell ...the lies, the distortions, the palpable untruths, the errors and omissions...

And so to the dog botherer, with another epic rant, this time about the genocide in Gaza, though there will be little mention of the actual genocide ...

As seems to be the fashion these day with extended reptile rants, the dog botherer was supplied with a copious amount of illustrations ...

Is there an upside to the dog botherer's rant, what with it easy to be weary of barking mad fundamentalist fanatics on both sides, and the never-ending slaughter?

Well it took the dog botherer's mind off climate denialism, which is just as well with the news that now we know how many holes it takes to fill Antarctica ...

For those stories you'll have to head off to the ABC or The Conversation ... the pond is stuck with the ranting dog molester ...

It is possible to chew gum and hold two thoughts in head at the same time ... that Islamic and Zionist fundamentalism are not particularly palatable, but right now there's a genocide going down that only fuels the frenzy of fanaticism ...

That was culled from Al Jazeera, because you won't find any of that sort of stuff in the dog botherer's account ...

The trouble of course is that both sides have deployed from the river to the sea rhetoric, though only one side has deployed the nuke 'em all rhetoric, it being the side with the actual capacity to nuke 'em all ...

But at least it keeps the dog botherer's mind off climate science, what with that story in the Weekly Beast about the IPA's lies finally getting taken down ...

Mumbrella had the best approach, telling the story and showing the ad, but in a way that didn't actually make the text readable ...

On the other hand, it's worth noting the sort of lie the lizard Oz routinely published in exchange for a few shekels from the IPA, as a way of reinforcing the line of the commentariat, whatever the alleged aspirations of the North American company ...

So many lies, so little time, but back to the dog botherer ... and with the pond enormously pleased that some students decided to shun the dog botherer and the lizard Oz, because shunning is the least that they deserve ...

The trouble with mindless rhetoric about violations of humanity is that much humanity has been violated, and will continue to be violated ... per Al Jazeera ...

Fanatics - and the dog botherer is a fanatic - don't mind collateral damage on either side, especially in the dehumanising fog of war, which is why you won't read the dog botherer railing at the current genocide ...

One human bean to another, do you have any view on the current genocide? Silence. Do you have any notion of what to say or do about the continuation of the current genocide should Rafah be demolished like the rest of Gaza has been? Nothing. Hasn't there been enough killing and territorial expansion and demolition of any solution, the two state notion now being nothing but a fever dream ... (Al Jazeera)

Nope, nothing, just more fanaticism ...

The pond has noted that blather way too many times, per Rolling Stone ...

And so at last to the final gobbet in this epic reptile ranting ...

Or they could be bombed to smithereens, thanks to weapons supplied by the United States ... with a quick death if they're lucky, or they could just try eating grass for a week from the uni lawn, to find out what it's like to experience famine as a strategy of war ...

The pond is over the reptiles ... but at least killing the planet was off the agenda this day, and instead a small scale genocide took pride of place, though only a reptile would take pride in the killing fields...