In which the pond offers a serve of "Ned" so punters will realise there are better things to do ...

 

Thank the long absent lord that a Good Groaning settled down the number of hits, and the pond will do its best to offer a short course in herpetology this day that will see stray readers run screaming from the page ...

First though a note to confirm that yet again the top of the lizard Oz digital edition has ignored the bushfires raging through NSW and Queensland, and so must be ignored by the pond, though the pond was enchanted to learn that the country has an Upper Humbug Road, and thinks that News Corp should establish its HQ there ...

... and there, perched at the top far right was Dame Slap, situated in her favourite extreme spot and yet again rabbiting on about the ACT, which means that once again she has restrained herself and hasn't mentioned the Toowoomba matter ...

A red card anyway, and the pond could already see stray readers taking fright at the ghastly visage of "Ned" peering out at them, and fearing what might be coming, but what's the pond to do? Look at the riff raff in the comments section ...

There's Albo doing his best to make punters cough up shekels to the Chairman Emeritus and spawn, and below him are the thoughts of a common war criminal, one """, who thinks he's Churchill, but is just a barbarian promoting ethnic cleansing, collective punishment and the bombing of refugee camps... while over in the West Bank settler murders of Palestinians are on the rise ...

Luckily the immortal Rowe has returned to provide a portrait ...

Barbaric acts don't justify a further round of even more extreme barbaric acts ... there can be no false equivalences, as this wannabe Churchill tucks into his bird ...

And that's enough of that and before getting to the "Ned" feast, the pond will note that while there were no bush fires this day, there was an indecent amount of Stensholt on the menu ...

Four out of five of the top featured stories in the business section, most about the suffering of the filthy rich or the joy of being even more filthy rich ...

For those who came in late to the story, Stensholt, only rarely noted in the pond, did feature in a Media Watch story about the prattish billionaire Pratt, and his Uncle Elon craving for publicity and his desire to be in the thick of things with the mango Mussolini...

The bruising encounter about the fellow travelling between media and the cardboard box man went on too long to quote at length but it ended this way ...

...We asked Sky what that money paid for and whether it came with conditions but they did not respond  
However, we did better with John Stensholt.
We asked him about the $23,000 cost of covering Katy Perry and why he’s taken so many trips funded by Pratt or his companies. 
And we got a reply from The Australian’s editor-in-chief Michelle Gunn, who did not answer those questions but told Media Watch:
John has never accepted a cent from Pratt Industries or any other subject. Financial and in-kind contributions third parties make to his travel expenses and accommodation are always disclosed and his coverage has included extensive reporting on the nexus between Mr Pratt's business and political decision making.  
Any suggestions otherwise are totally false.
- Email, Michelle Gunn, editor-in-chief, The Australian, 28 October, 2023
And we wouldn’t dream of making them. 
With Pratt Industries confirming it has never paid him a cent.
But in a quick search of Stensholt’s coverage of Pratt’s business interests, we found another 11 positive stories dating back to 2018. And none that were negative. 
If you’ve ever wondered why there’s so much news about the box king in the media, now you know why. 

Katy Perry? Hear the reptiles roar ...

So that's why the business section of the lizard Oz this day led off with three billionaire yarns from the stunning Stensholt ...

And so to the moment the faint, or even feint of heart, most feared ... an ungarnished serve of nattering "Ned" urging on the troops, and naturally it began with a cry to revert to the 1950s and Ming the merciless ...

Actually, if the pond might be so bold, having an out of focus snap of Captain Spud alongside Ming made him look like a ghostly phantom, a man without substance, an ethereal vision, almost a form of ectoplasm ...

Meanwhile, common folk will be rolling their Jaffas down the aisle (the pond always thought it the waste of a good Jaffa on the bare boards of Tamworth's Capitol theatre) at "Ned" blathering about schisms and 'leets and all the usual lizard Oz guff ...

The mutton Dutton possesses upgraded Liberal appeal? You really have to admire "Ned's" grit...

Meanwhile, the reptiles decided to insert a snap of the weary traveller, trying to garner brownie points by daring to go abroad ...

All that did was remind the pond of another immortal Rowe cartoon featuring a weary traveller ...

Those who missed the joke can read Australia reassures Japan on CPTPP and strength of relationship in The Japan Times ...

Distraction done and dusted, there was just more "Ned" to follow, without benefit of glass of red, a hot South Aussie saké, or even a hot bath ... and you have to admire a man constantly given to tedious lecturing about this and that from an elite position in the lizard Oz leading off the next gobbet with blather about 'leet power and lecturing ...

Yes, only "Ned" could come out with a sublimely oblivious line such as "Elite self-awareness is poor and self-regard is high."

That level of smug self-satisfaction and self-regard and self-delusion is the reason why the pond sticks with "Ned" and his natter, while others run screaming from the room ...

At the end of the gobbet, poor "Ned" did have to note that Trumpian hysteria has swept almost all the old wets and jelly fish and spineless amoeba from the party ... but to reassure the troops, the reptiles then slipped in a huge snap to remind readers that the dream to return to the 1950s was still alive, and perhaps there was a picket fence coming to a house near them ...

Naturally the pond downsized the snap, but that was as small as the pond could manage, though it will allow that double breasted suits looked splendid on movie gangsters and politicians...

Then it was on with more "Ned", evoking the golden era of Ming the merciless and "Ned" lecturing the Coalition, as those with a high level of self-regard are wont to do ...

Climate change isn't a majority position? Ah, so that's why the bushfires are never mentioned at the lizard Oz ... even as stories are easy enough to find ...

Climate change isn't a majority position? The planet will be reassured, as this time the reptiles interrupted "Ned" with another snap, this time from another era, because "Ned" is always looking through the wrong end of a telescope ...

Those days are done and dusted and so, after this gobbet, will be the pond's outing with "Ned" ...

The pond reckons each "Ned" gobbet has a gem or a pearl...in that last one, the pond reckons "falls between two stools" is as vintage hoary old film reviewer cliché as any lecturer could muster, and then for the self-regarding lecturer to lecture about the need for a "positive vision" is a genuine side-splitter ...

Others will have their favourite lines, at least those who could make it to the end, and in recognition of the suffering, the pond will only offer up one reptile this day ...

Instead for a closer the pond will link to Colbert, only because he had great fun with creationists, dinosaurs paling around with the ark, and Mike Johnson ... and before you doubt the point of the joke read the Huff Post yarn New House Speaker Thinks Creationist Museum Is 'Pointing People To The Truth'

Before arriving in Washington less than a decade ago, House Speaker Mike Johnson, a deeply religious Christian, was a legal crusader associated with a fringe evangelical movement called “young Earth creationism,” based on a literal reading of the Bible’s Book of Genesis that posits the Earth is only several thousand years old.
In the mere hours since Johnson was elected speaker Wednesday, he hadn’t had to address his views on creationism and evolution. But his close ties to a leader of the creationist movement and his past legal work — on behalf of the Ark Encounter creationist theme park, where children can learn that dinosaurs were passengers on Noah’s Ark — seem to suggest that he’s also personally aligned with these beliefs.
“The Ark Encounter is one way to bring people to this recognition of the truth, that what we read in the Bible are actual historical events,” Johnson said in a 2021 interview with Ark Encounter founder Ken Ham while guest-hosting the radio show of Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, an evangelical activist group.
Johnson has close personal and professional ties to Ham, the founder and CEO of Answers in Genesis, the Christian group that’s behind Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum, both based in Kentucky. As an attorney, Johnson helped the gigantic ark attraction, which opened in 2016, secure millions in state tourism subsidies while also defending its right to make religious-based hiring decisions.
“Kentucky officials are smart to enthusiastically embrace the Ark Encounter, and the millions of tourists the park will welcome to the area from every viewpoint, race, color, religion and creed,” Johnson wrote in an op-ed that appeared in the Louisville Courier Journal in 2014. “Answers in Genesis aims to encourage critical thought and respectful public debate about the various attractions and ideas that will be presented at its park, and that is the beauty and essence of free speech.”
Johnson wasn’t just the legal muscle for Answers in Genesis, which embraces the belief that the “account of origins presented in Genesis 1-11 is a simple but factual presentation of actual events.” He blogged on the organization’s website and spoke at a conference it hosted in 2022. Johnson and his wife, Kelly, a counselor who is also his podcast collaborator, are slated to appear at another Answers in Genesis conference in April 2024: “Overcoming the War on Women for the Glory of God.”
Johnson has called Ham a “dear friend,” and, when hosting him on his podcast, “Truth Be Told,” Johnson thanked him for his friendship and ministry over the years. Ham returned the kind words at an Answers in Genesis conference in 2021, when he called Johnson one of the few “godly men” in Congress.
Ham’s views are what you would expect for a person who operates a “life-size” Noah’s Ark museum that features dinosaurs catching a ride on a biblically accurate 300-cubits-long ark.
“We can say, 100 percent absolutely for sure, that people lived with dinosaurs!” Ham writes in his 2000 book, “Dinosaurs in Eden.” As a believer in biblical inerrancy, he believes the story of Genesis is both literally true and that its first 11 chapters hold all of the answers about how to live a moral life. He has cited the teaching of evolution as the reason for modern society’s ills and supports waging a culture war to fight back against atheists and materialists.
Johnson’s congressional office did not respond to a request for comment about his views on young Earth theory, whose adherents believe the planet is 6,000 years old and that humans walked the Earth at the same time as dinosaurs. The scientific community regards creationism as pseudoscience and is generally in agreement the Earth is an estimated 4.5 billion years old.
In the limited time that reporters and researchers have had to dig deeply into Johnson’s life — he became a national GOP figure only in the last week and hails from a noncompetitive district in Louisiana — it does not appear Johnson has publicly said anything to suggest he doesn’t accept the theory of evolution. Reporters have, however, uncovered a litany of anti-LGBTQ and anti-abortion sentiments in Johnson’s not-so-recent past.
But he has appeared sympathetic to the creationist cause and has fiercely defended its followers on First Amendment grounds.
In a sermon delivered in 2016 at Christian Center Shreveport in Louisiana, Johnson also blamed school shootings on a lack of godliness that he suggested was rooted in teaching children they “evolve from the primordial slime,” according to meidastouch.com.
In addition to his work with Answers in Genesis, Johnson has been associated with the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools, which critics say espouses creationist teachings over education about evolution.
The teaching of evolution in public schools has been controversial for more than a century. States began passing laws banning the teaching of evolution in the early 20th century, which led to the infamous 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial. But it wasn’t until 1968 that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Epperson v. Arkansas that bans on teaching evolution were unconstitutional. Later court decisions prohibited the teaching of creation science (in 1987) and intelligent design (in 2005) in public schools.
Johnson’s critics fear he would try to inject Christian ideology into how he governs the U.S. House as second-in-line for the presidency. They also see young Earth creationism as a tentacle of the Christian nationalist movement, whose goal is to create a Christian theocracy in the U.S.
“His policy agenda appears to be in lockstep with that of a shadow network of Christian nationalist groups in our country or working to preserve traditional power structures and win privilege for conservative Christianity,” said Rachel Laser, the president of Americans United for Separation of Church and State.
As a state representative in 2015, Johnson came to the defense of a Louisiana public school district under fire for making creationism and Bible study part of its curriculum — and offered to defend the district for free through his “Christian” law firm, Freedom Guard, Slate reported. Johnson has described Freedom Guard as a “public interest law firm.”
“The concern that you’re articulating should be of concern to more than just creationists,” Johnson said in an interview that same year with a creationist activist who described being forced to learn what he called false evolutionary theories in school. “All freedom-loving Americans ought to have grave concerns about these government abuses, regardless of their perspectives on Genesis or even the Christian faith, for that matter.”
William Trollinger, the author of “Righting America at the Creation Museum,” said the Answers in Genesis exhibits, instead of being insulated from politics, are deeply reflective of the nation’s divides. “These are culture war sites. Young Earth creationism is very much a part of MAGA culture,” Trollinger told HuffPost, noting that in his experience, “there are very few politically moderate young Earth creationists in the United States.”
In September 2022, Johnson and his wife hosted Ham on their “Truth Be Told” podcast, which has been around since March of that year. In their conversation, the Johnsons heavily promoted Ham’s Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky.
“For all of our friends who have not made a visit, it’s hard to describe,” Mike Johnson said. “It’s really an awesome experience.”
During their discussion, Ham blamed the teaching of “atheistic evolution” for corrupting the youth and leading them to turn away from the church. He argued that instead church leaders and parents need to teach children how to defend church doctrine through biblical study and argument so that they will know and be able to properly argue that “the fossil record wasn’t laid down over millions of years, that’s the graveyard of the flood.”
“To teach them all these things — that’s what’s been missing from the church,” Ham said.
“I think that’s right,” Johnson replied.
At the end of their conversation, Johnson again praised Ham’s Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter for “doing maybe the best work right now in our generation of pointing people to the truth.”

Joy of joys, Ken Ham is a dinkum Australian export ... and now, though the pond rarely does it because it's so easily available, take it away Colbert ...