In which the reptiles make the pond do the hard yards, but the onion muncher comes through, thanks to a Killer letter from London ...

The pond is usually a day behind in its reading, but it just had to note John Crace's epic Genius among morons Dominic Cummings gives Halloween display of his ego, not so much for the deflating of the Dominator - admittedly great fun - but because it introduced the pond to the concept of the OODA loop.

Not having been a fighter pilot, the pond can apply that one to its reptile reading, or perhaps coping with the new Sydney road system.

Yes, if you share the cardigan wearer habit of reading The Mandarin, you can enjoy the yarn Sydney’s new toll tunnels so baffling drivers told to prep with virtual reality.

Sydney’s latest $3.9 billion underground road interchange to funnel commuters out of suburban rat runs and onto toll roads is officially so complex and bamboozling that the state government has issued virtual reality simulations and driver’s-eye animations to coach motorists ahead of its imminent opening.
As the excavators and cranes pack up and the landscape architects rush to finish plantings before Christmas, Transport for NSW on Tuesday released its own online prepper POV mini-series on navigating the epic Rozelle interchange that in some places is as many as 14 lanes wide.
It’s well known many people from outside Sydney shudder at the thought of attempting to navigate its often complex and illogical maze of arterial roads, not least because of the unforgiving consequences of being force-routed because of a lane choice that came too late or where an exit appears on the right when you thought it would be on the left — or sometimes perhaps the middle lane that sends you up a flyover.
The Mandarin’s Sydney bureau can confirm the simulations to condition drivers and lay down some neural pre-programming to reveal some next-level manoeuvres, like turning left onto City West Link from The Crescent that will see you sucked down the M8 and send you to Liverpool via the airport if you get your lanes wrong...

“Motorists can start preparing for driving conditions inside the final piece of WestConnex, with the release of animations to help navigate the more than 16 kilometres of new tunnels that make up the Rozelle Interchange,” Transport cheerily announced on Tuesday.

Hah, and they wonder why Melburnians sometimes put on superior airs. The pond's solution will of course be to stick with rat runs and resolutely avoid paying tolls ...

Meanwhile, fans assure the pond that Schwartz Media's The Last Mogul podcast (2 eps already on Apple) is worth a listen, but the pitch failed to move the pond: "find out what drives Rupert Murdoch". 

How much more can you add to "greed" and "power" and a desire to outdo Satan in bringing evil into the world as a money spinner? Oh the randy old goat should be credited for showing Xians how to do marriage, and produce devilish spawn, but "what happens now he has handed over the empire?" only produces the hope that the spawn will do a Warwick Fairfax.

If you want international entertainment, why not turn to an old favourite? Trump Melts Down as Idiot Sons Are Set to Take the Stand.

Meanwhile, over at The Conversation there's a chance to read something you'll never see in the lizard Oz: Queensland’s fires are not easing at night. That’s a bad sign for the summer ahead.

This week, dozens of fires have burned across Queensland. More homes have burned in the state than during the 2019–2020 Black Summer – 57 so far this year, compared to 49.
The question many are asking is – are these fires normal? Our analysis shows these fires are weird in at least two ways.
First, many more than usual are burning through the night. This is anomalous, as nighttime usually brings lower temperatures and more moisture in the air, slowing or quelling fires. Queensland’s south-east and Western Downs regions are seeing more than five times more nighttime hotspots than average. And second, these fires are early in the season – especially the nighttime fires.
Why? Much of the east coast is now exceptionally dry. The plant regrowth from La Niña rains has dried out and is, in many places, set to burn. It’s still spring, with a long summer ahead. Where there has been rain, such as in eastern Victoria, it has sometimes coincided with intense bushfire. That gave rise to the extremely unusual situation in early October where residents grappled with fire one day and flood the next.
Put together, it suggests we may be facing a very bad fire season on the east coast and Tasmania. This is, of course, happening against the drumbeat of global warming, and the extra spike in heating this year caused by El Niño...

What drumbeat? Over at the lizard Oz you can't even hear an inaudible tap on the snare drum to get Bolero started... (yes, the pond loves Ravel, even his old warhorses, live with it. PS there's graphs too).

Okay, okay, enough distractions, time to roll down the stockings and get on with the herpetology studies, and see what's at the top of the digital edition this morning...

Say what? Yet again no petulant Peta on a Thursday and the entirely useless craven Craven sent in as a pinch hitter, right next to a shot of war crimes in action?

It didn't get any better below the fold ...

The Lynch mob on hand to celebrate the utter futility and complete uselessness of the Iraq war in response to nonsensical talk of entirely absent WMDs? Nah, not really, and ditto to Jimbo Kirb sending EVs to the curb yet again ...

The pond wanted some real reptile meat, but had to go searching for it. 

What an utter disgrace that Killer and the onion muncher weren't top of the digital front page ... an expert epidemiologist reporting on the words of an expert climate scientist ...

Splendid stuff, and it's with some fair degree of sorrow that the pond has to report that the Graudian also picked up the yarn in Former Australian PM Tony Abbott says climate warnings are ‘ahistorical and implausible’, Speaking in London, Abbott criticises the ‘emissions obsession’ of a ‘climate cult that will eventually be discredited’

In a typically woke way, the rag's Josh Butler tried to insinuate one of the world's top scientists was breathing onion fumes ...

Former prime minister Tony Abbott has claimed some warnings of human-induced climate change are “ahistorical and utterly implausible”, criticising what he called “the climate cult” in a speech in London.

The former Liberal leader decried what he claimed was an “emissions obsession”, pointing to historical examples of warmer and cooler periods which had “nothing to do with mankind’s emissions.”

“I think it is worth stating that the anthropogenic global warming thesis, at least in its more extreme forms, is both ahistorical and utterly implausible,” Abbott said at the launch of a report on energy by the Institute of Public Affairs on Tuesday.

“And I think that needs to be repeated. Ladies and gentlemen, the climate cult will eventually be discredited.”

Abbott’s remarks come a week after scientists warned Earth’s “vital signs” are worse than at any time in human history, with 20 of the 35 planetary vital signs at record extremes, including July being probably the hottest the planet has been in 100,000 years.

Abbott, the Australian prime minister from 2013-15, lost his seat of Warringah at the 2019 election to independent Zali Steggall, who campaigned heavily on stronger climate action. Abbott infamously described the “so-called settled science of climate change” as “absolute crap” in 2009; in 2017 he suggested climate change is “probably doing good” in a speech in London in which he likened policies to combat it to “primitive people once killing goats to appease the volcano gods”.

In London this week, Abbott spoke at the launch of a new paper on energy security from the IPA, a rightwing Australian think tank. According to a transcript of his remarks shared by his office, Abbott claimed that while he was in office he had a “mantra” of saying climate change was real, that mankind made a difference and that reasonable steps should be taken to reduce emissions.

“Then I would invariably add this rider but not at the expense of jobs, at the expense of ordinary people’s cost of living, and with the effect of driving important industries offshore to countries that don’t take emissions as seriously as we do,” he said.

The wretched Josh even slipped in a link to another Graudian story ...Earth’s ‘vital signs’ worse than at any time in human history, scientists warn ... as if actual climate scientists had the first clue up against the world's most preeminent climate scientist ...

And so on and on, and the pond immediately scuttled back to the onion muncher for the rest of the good oil, or the good coal, or the good whatever fossil you could find in that ancient land ...

Well played onion muncher, well done Killer ... your letter from London is as charming as your letters from America ... and happily Golding provided a cartoon to celebrate the occasion ...

And now the pond supposes it must deal with the craven Craven, though really it's only attention-seeking by a narcissist who yearns for the spotlight now that he's become a VC feather duster ...

Speaking of greed and no cap, the pond was moved to do a little digging and came across this ... you know, you can dress up shameless greed in nice verbal finery if you know how to talk about desirable fee 'elasticity', aka wounded bull charges at gate ...

The pond probably shouldn't note that he seems perfectly happy to charge a 100k for some other kinds of degrees, but on with the current crop of gibberish ...

Meanwhile, in The Catholic Leader way back when, (16th June 2014 to be precise), there was the craven Craven ...

Even if you worked on an oil rig rather than at a university, you can’t have failed to notice that there’s a new budget in town – and it’s got a lot to say about tertiary education providers.

With panicky claims of $250,000 degrees, and the Sydney Morning Herald signalling a ‘new world order’, the current atmosphere is enough to outrage the most pacifist student, and alarm the most composed academic.

But while there are certainly challenges, there are also opportunities.

One is the extension of the demand driven system, which ACU has championed for the past six years.

The system has been extended to provide Commonwealth Supported Places (ie government funding) for any undergraduate qualification offered by a university – including diplomas and associate degrees.

This will be vital in bridging the gap between school, or mature experience and university.

Another is the deregulation of university fees.

ACU has lobbied hard for fee flexibility to help drive competition and diversity in the sector, and ensure Australia remains internationally competitive.

Strange. Back then the craven Craven seems to have had a yen for international students ... and see how "elasticity" had mystically morphed, like a humble wafer, into the body of "fee flexibility" ...

That story finished up this way ...

Meanwhile, the reptiles began a flow of snaps, which was really an excuse to feature a huge snap of the craven Craven looking decidedly surly and grumpy, so the pond bundled them together and downsized them ...

The rest was an exercise in don't do what I did, do what I now say ...

Stripped of the snaps, it was pretty thin gruel, with short gobbets and so many of them ...

And then thankfully here was just one bleat to go from the elastic, flexible fee charger ...

Yes, yes, but make sure the fees stay uncapped so universities can charge whatever they like. Take that from an authoritative source like the craven Craven ... greed is good if you happen to be the one being greedy.

And so to a special bonus. Confronted by the notion of balance up against daily crimes and accompanying excuses by war criminals and lizard Oz correspondents...

... the pond decided to head off to the Speccie mob for a special treat ...

Lordy, long absent lordy, not only Benji imagining he's Churchill, but Viv turning to the election loser and hero of Gallipoli as well ...and what about that cartoon? 

Has there ever been a better demonstration of paranoia in full cry?

Before proceeding further with Viv, please allow the pond to provide a little DeSmog background ...

There's a lot more - he's a dedicated coal man - but it's safe to say our Viv is a real goer, up there with the onion muncher ... and he's just as solid on war mongering ... and manages with insouciant ease to overlook Ming the Merciless's remarks in favour of that great statesman Adolf way back when ...

Around this point the pond suspected it might not enjoy a flight with Viv and other travellers on the same flight ...

Back to Viv, still seeped in history and ready to rumble ...

Ah, there's a clue. The pond guesses that Viv is a bit of an old fart, and might still have some difficulty purchasing a Nissan or a Mazda or a Toyota or any of those other cars heading south ...

On the pond pressed knowing that at some point Viv would come up with a whiz solution to defence needs ...

Nah, still nothing. Sure rampant paranoia, up there with the cartoon, but not there yet about what to do. Luckily the next gobbet delivered in spades ...

At last, a tremendous solution. 

Bikie gangs! 

Why didn't the pond think of that? Forget the flabby Woke mob, a few bikies with a few shotties would soon have Chairman Xi on the run. The pond must make a note and put it in a memo to the bromancer, so he'll stop worrying about the subs arriving in 2060 ...

And that talk of Green Admirals and Green Generals? Tremendous stuff ...

After that burst of inspiration, Viv kind of tailed off ...

Wake up Australia? 

Hang on Viv, if we all woke up, wouldn't we all be Woke? Shouldn't all stay asleep? Is there anything worse than being woken up and thus turned fully Woke?

Perhaps you should rethink the slogan. Perhaps Be Alert and Be Alarmed, but don't Be That Alarmed, because there's no need worry about the climate science, a few bikies with a few shotties will soon sort it out ...

And after that rousing call to arms, the pond felt deeply sorry for Luckovich ... as if this Judaeo-Xian notion had the slightest chance to survive Benji's hellfire, showing Hamas hellfire what hellfire could really do ...