In which the pond is forced to do a strategic retreat into the backyard ...

 

The pond isn't fawning or pandering or simpering with a smirk when it says that it's astonished by the ability of correspondents to discover nuggets in the dross the reptiles ,and so the pond, has been serving up this holyday season. 

To discover something sensible to say about the meanderings of the hole in the bucket man and celebrate him as Sir Humphrey down under, full of courageous ideas,  is  astonishing - the pond is tempted to say something of a miracle, except for the pond's disdain for imaginary friends, which can result in a bout of Sunday cannibalism.

But this day the reptiles, and so the pond, struck rock bottom. The Pellist cause is still dominant, and Polonius was stalking the top of the digital page ...

Now it will be noted that Dame Slap has ruled herself out, with the pond handing her the usual red card for her ongoing diatribes about the Higgins matter ...

And it goes without saying that you can't expect Polonius to heap contempt on Pellism for its contemptible and cowardly use of anonymity to attack the leader. 

Such a cowardly and gutless approach ... why the pond can remember back in the day when the reptiles used to heap invective, fear and loathing on bloggers who used a pen name, despising them as a malignant, cancerous growth ... at least until The Mocker came along and showed the pond how to do it, and the gutless frock lover joined the fray ...

So there you go. Using a pen name as cover is fine and dandy and reptile approved, especially if you want to have a poison pen go at your boss, and the pond can enter the house of the righteous secularist unblemished, righteous and defiant,  though with all sorts of weird and fully sick companions ...

But the pond is over the Pellists, and keeping that in mind, worse was to follow below the fold ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, et tu Angelic one? 

And there was the lesser member of the Kelly gang dutifully slogging away, as if Joe could ever be a decent substitute for "Ned" in full pompous, portentous, prolix weekend flight ...

The pond came to the painful conclusion that it would have to indulge in a final bout of Pellism, but could at least save it to a meditative Sunday, with the words of grundle ringing in the ear ...

...Roman Catholicism in Australia has become identified with its Mary mafia faction, the most power-obsessed, arrogant, self-satisfied and cynical side of the church, which ran from Pell to the editorial section of The Australian to the Sydney Institute (“cultural Catholics”) and back again.

Even before Pell became publicly associated with abuse cover-ups and the heavying of victims and complainants, he gave the impression that the church was about anything other than love, an appearance reinforced by the op-ed Spenglerism of Paul Kelly, the neurotic self-pity of Abbott, and the manic ravings of Greg Sheridan, whose incurious, unresponsive religiosity is simply a desperate desire for a simple framework to give meaning in the flux of the world — a self-hypnosis act, complete with angels, Marian visions and the rest. Who the hell would want that? The evangelists and Pentecostals have rock music, and tell you something in the universe loves you. Whose churches are crowded aircraft hangars, and whose are being converted into Thai restaurants?  

But it was with the exposure of widespread sexual abuse, the churchwide cover-up, and the lack of any sign of deep reflection by the church, that many Australians, including young ones, in a new postmodern, post-secular environment, really wrote them off as anything other than a mafia with hymns and a land portfolio. 

Crikey! Is there anything else to say about the reptiles and their devotion to Pellism?

So the pond took as its text for the day this sounding of the alarums by simplistic "here no conflict of interest, no conflict of interest here" Simon ...

Clearly the reptiles are in a blind panic, and the obvious defence - that the Dominator was just showing the way forward for Harry and helping make the world safe for gingers - seems to have escaped them.

But given the problem delineated by simplistic Simon, what to do, oh what to do? And here's where the pond must go parochial ... because really in a world of tears and hills of beans, who outside cockroach land would care?

Even so, surely they should marvel at the reptile solution ... to drag up a simpering, pandering, fawning rabbi to offer a blessing ...

Where to from here? 

Why there's forgiveness and forgetfulness and serving as reptile fodder and cover, and certainly not a word about the way that Netanyahu is taking Israel into an extremely dark, dangerous and far right place ...

And so on, and whenever the pond wants to be reminded that there's still a little flickering light in Israel, it heads off to Haaretz, paywall allowing, though things are dire and they're under the hammer ...

But enough of global scale arson and devotion to Vlad the Terrible, it's back to the simpering and the pandering and the forelock tugging, and helping out the Dominator and the reptiles, and reminding the pond why it starts to tremble when any religious leader of any stripe hovers into view, and begins to play politics...

Splendid forelock tugging stuff, and so the reptile cause is served and the Dominator is forgiven, with all the usual verbal mush ...

Why there's probably also a column to be done about the wondrous ways of Vlad the impaler, and perhaps also forgiveness for this too ...

And so on, paywall allowing, and what do we want? 

Theocracy now, and deeply weird it is too, but back to the Dominator being given absolution ...

If the pond might be so bold, and in the politest way possible, fuck teshuva, and fuck Netanyahu, and fuck Jewish fundamentalists, and fuck blather about generosity of spirit ... at least until that generosity is offered to minorities of the Palestinian kind ...

Meanwhile, the lizard Oz editorialist gave the real game away, by launching an attack on the rats in the ranks ...

There, see how the lizard Oz editorialist turns the servile, pandering Levi to the Dominator's cause,  and note the routine blather about cancel culture and wokeness ... and then it's on with talk about rats in the ranks ...

Well it wouldn't be a full and fair survey of the topic of the day if the pond didn't include simplistic Simon, a rare treat for the pond because usually the pond thinks of him as so corrupted and tainted by his associations that not a single sensible insight, or a hint of self-awareness, ever escapes his keyboard ...

It's pretty much by the numbers stuff, with more blather about rats in the ranks, and inevitably the reptiles seized the chance to shove in a couple of click-bait videos...

That's called projection, and of course it should have read "Senior reptiles are foaming in disbelief, at a loss as to what to do..."

Much like King Chuck ...

Will trotting out the pandering Levi and quoting him in the lizard editorialist be enough to stem the suffering of the Dominator in other forums?

The Graudian was also making a meal of it this Saturday in the headlines ...

(Just in case you were wondering about the weather in Dural).

And so was the Nine rag the pond no longer reads ...

Had the reptiles done enough? Could they do more? Would the Levi gambit work?

Who knows, all the pond senses is that it's missing out on many things by tending to the back yard, but say one thing in favour of simplistic Simon, he keeps it simple ... and short ...

Now there's the giveaway ... "should the Coalition lose" ... and oh, have pity for the mutton Dutton ... and oh the trembling at the knees and the picking of pimples and the pond still can't remember the name of the opposition leader, but as they say, it's governments and reptiles that lose, while all the winners have to do is stand well clear of the turmoil...

Meanwhile the best of the comedy was elsewhere, as the reliable immortal Rowe noted ...