In which the pond offers a couple of classic reptile rants in lieu of a Sunday meditation ...

The pond relishes the way the reptiles throw up weird juxtapositions in a way designed to attract innocent punters to their failing fake news business model - Donald's nukes and dog botherer's pukes - but even more, the pond enjoys a good, hearty, reptile rant …

The pond has spent years detailing the art of the reptile litany …. and here, while acknowledging the religious element, and a ceremonial and liturgical form of invocation, the word must also encompass a recitation or recital that resembles a litany, and reliably turns into a prolonged and tedious account of assorted failings, mixed with the usual exalted righteousness of the reptile scribbler …

The dog botherer is a specialist in the art. He's always pissed off, though it has to be said, this necessitates much pissing in the pants, even as he valiantly aims at trees, climate science, TDS, and lefties and such like … above all, the deeds of the virtue-signalling, virtuous elite (and thanks to the pond charging a penny a use for "virtue signalling", the pond is already able to afford to see space on a Tesla or a Virgin rocket) … never mind that the dog botherer himself blathers on about assorted virtues, sends all sorts of signals, and is handsomely paid for his outbursts ...

Ah, the Donald, what a relief, an excuse for the pond to shovel cartoons to fill up the cracks, though strangely, even the WSJ has noted that things are getting a tad weird in Donald la la land …

Why they even managed to fit in a mention of students in the streets - akin to heresy in reptile land down under - but the pond is relieved at the latest news.

Come back Shanghai Sam, all is forgiven. A 100k in an Aldi bag? Small-time, punk thinking. Come on down Chinese government, offer SloMo 250 mill for opposition research, and we'll be cooking with democracy, in brand new reptile style …

Ah, but the pond is almost starting to sound like the dog botherer, and the lad was just getting started in his ranting … which raises the question … can it be long before dog botherer one note brings out his favourite phobia, and climate science intrudes into the litany?

An onanist deploring onanism, while spilling so much verbal seed, that perhaps for once it would be wise not to swallow?

Well the reference is a tad biblical, but something of a first, and the pond drifted back in time to the way it once was, when the dog botherer himself was a cash-pocking virtue signaller …

‘The Left’ is often characterised by those who appoint themselves as its opponents as lacking a sense of humour, too ‘politically correct’ and too self-righteous to lighten up and take a joke. No doubt Kenny, Bolt and Blair would argue that the difference in this case is that tax-payers fund the ABC, and should not have to hand over their hard-earned cash for this type of trash. And I tend to agree. Let’s see the ABC give back every cent of what it cost them to use Photoshop for thirty seconds. Maybe I’ll spend the spare change on a bus to go see the Great Barrier Reef before it, like the Chaser’s dog, is completely fucked in the arse. (Get more of this junk at Junkee).

Reef smeef,  the dog botherer rarely gets into the actual science. There are hints and innuendoes, but a rant doesn't leave much room for details …

The pond just needed that interstitial before heading into the next gobbet ...

Oh fucketty fuck, it's a marvel, the way that the reptiles routinely deplore alarmism in all its forms, and at the same time announce on a daily basis, the disintegration of civil society.

They can only do it because the lizard Oz routinely proclaims itself as elite … the heart of the nation, your national newspaper, for the intelligent Australian, news brand of the year, and so on and so delusionally forth … a bit like a corrupt Mafia don who claims he's a billionaire proclaiming he's at one with the people …

Sorry, these days the pond needs a cartoon or three to get through a reptile litany rant ...

Uh huh. But why does a climate science denialist like the dog botherer give a flying fuck about cutting emissions? It doesn't matter, it's all fake science, so to borrow a line, surely his position is paradoxical nonsense …

Sorry, the more the ranting litany goes on, the more cartoons the pond needs … but what joy that this is the last gobbet ...

Yes, facts are being subsumed by dog botherer hysteria, the world is coming to an end, and all because some outrageous scientists have observed certain things changing in the world.

Once upon a time, journalists paid attention to scientists. Even if they didn't understand the science, they understood it had significance, offered insights, and might assist in developing new ways of dealing with the world. These days braying fuckwits at the lizard Oz offer emotion and the foretelling of doom, because in a world featuring the Donald, reality and facts are dangerous and frightening … so alternative, dog bothering reality here we come ...

But wait, there's more. As a Sunday meditation, the pond feels free to pile reptile on reptile, stage a litany challenge as it were, and if there's one reptile who can top the dog botherer, surely it has to be the MAGA-hat donning Dame Slap ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, there was the pond thinking that it was merely the dog botherer announcing the end of civilisation and liberal democracies and possibly the world, when in reality peak PC madness has driven us to the brink of savagery, like darkies stomping in the jungle of Conradian heart of darkness …and we know where that leads …

Never mind, into the heart of darkness the pond goes ...

Uh huh, and so to the Dame coming down from her privileged school above the faraway tree to wonder why we got so nasty and why there's so much bile in the world…

Of course the pond could think of a few reasons there's been a coarsening of debate and public style …

But you can bet Dame Slap's rage, bile, anger, hate, fear and loathing isn't going to go anywhere near there ...

So how's Dame Slap's donning of the MAGA hat working out for her and the United States?

Okay, the pond had to crank it up with a couple of cartoons, because the sight of Dame Slap quoting Fry frankly proved too much … 

Silly old Fry. The reptiles eat milquetoast softie sodden pussies like this for breakfast … because in the alternative reptile world, anything goes …

And that's how the handsomely paid Dame Slap, an insider in the world of Murdochian 'leets, who knows which side of the bed her gravy sits, can berate other journalists, and berate anyone else who might see the world through a different lens ...

What happened? Well you won't see anything of this in that ...

Luckily once again the cartoons have led the pond to the relative safety of the final gobbet. The litany of vitriol and ridicule, of classic Dame Slap kind, has been done, delivered and dusted, and for sheer style, the pond continues to insist that even though she quotes the dog botherer, she's much better at the art ...

So we got G K Chesteron, but not a word about the Donald? Well that's because Dame Slap is full of blind certainty, and loves to smear, to shame and to censor, and she too is determined to announce the end of a liberal and more civil word … without a single mention of her donning of the MAGA cap …because she's actually fine with one night stands, a bit of pussy grabbing and dick flashing, and all the other things that go these days with being the President of the United States (siding with authoritarians, dictators and repressive ratbags of the Saudi kind also go with the job).

The pond can only mark down Dame Slap for failing to include an obligatory slam job on climate science, a dog botherer speciality, but as a result, did think of ending with a couple of celebratory cartoons …

But instead the pond thought it might introduce a politically incorrect correction to the hapless Fry …

You see, here's the rub. While donning the MAGA cap and not mentioning it or going there, deluded fops like Fry think that you can play nice and the reptiles will reciprocate. Actually it just encourages them to go for the throat, which is why the pond thinks, along with the uncivil, offensive Bill Maher, that it's time for Catch 23 ...