In which a busy reptile week is topped off by prattling Polonius and the feckless bromancer in fine fettle ...

It was the week where the humbug clown and the orange man took the honours - more of that anon - but anyone following the reptiles will realise that it was the week they became terrified of a young girl, and so there was much talk of cults.

Anyone with a long memory will recall that the reptiles began the week with an exhilarating line-up, with the Major at the top of the heap.

It was the day when a UN report had noted that the world was on track to experience its five hottest years in a row on record … with more dire reports to follow during the week ...yet there was Moorice berating the doctors, and the dog botherer blathering about the climate ‘debate’ - his favourite device these days when framing his climate science denialism.

Well might it be said, per the Major, that readers can’t get the full picture of the world and science if they devour only reptile red meat, masquerading as ‘news’ and informed opinion …

Crikey had the astonishing idea that denialism should be banned …

But if that were to happen, the reptiles would lose many news stories and most of their regular columnists. Who would lead the chants of clean dinkum Oz coal, oi, oi, oi? The idea’s absurd, like asking luddites to subscribe to the Modern Technology weekly …

What would happen to Lloydie? What would happen to all his mates? Would, at some future time, the world produce a new Nuremburg trial, in which climate criminals would be taken down? If so, the written record, the paper trail, the endless tree-killing wouldn't be hard to find …

 

Oh there was much talk of 'practicality' and the master magician wheeled out talk of 'plastics' - shades of The Graduate - as an epic distraction for being booed and spurned …think "practical plastics" and practical plasticity, and Lloydie was on the job …

 

Was it only at the beginning of the week that SloMo’s cult friend - Brian Houston - was too hot to handle even for the Trump administration, full as it is of cultists, loons and people who talk of their wives as ‘mother’?

We really have entered into peak end times when SloMo’s mob is weirder than the Donald’s…can the rapture be at hand?

On Thursday the reptiles had to wheel out Furious Frank to deal with the matter …

And the Mocker chimed in, sounding awfully like the dog botherer, along with another import to maintain the rage and the fear …

Through the week Lloydie and the dog botherer team tagged, and did their very best … and the dog botherer was still at it today ...

 

Well, give the dog botherer his due. At least 'hyperbole' is a variation on 'debate' …

The enfeebled, witless oscillating fan decided it wasn't science, it wasn't even a debate, it was a "discussion", and presumably, sadly, there were a few who weren't being gentlemen and coming out of the amateur gate …

Yes, it's all bloody nuance when you're up yourself ...

Happily the bromancer was there to elevate the discourse in a way that’s become more familiar in recent reptile times.

Crackers!

The pond shed a few tears for the passing of ‘barking mad’ and ‘howling at the moon’, but it’s the season of Guy Fawkes, so 'crackers' it must be …

Alongside the talk of crackers, Wednesday reports wandered in Boris and of the Donald’s speech at the UN, including such bon mots as:

Wise leaders always put the good of their own people and their own country first. The future does not belong to globalists. The future belongs to patriots.

Yes, it wasn't only the upstart young girl the reptiles had to fear … though the Donald's speech reminded the pond of a certain book, which - because the pond’s Godwin’s Law swear jar broke under the strain, the pond will not mention - but in the translation of that certain book the pond consulted to assist in understanding the Donald, there were 91 mentions of ‘international’, almost all warning of the dangers thereof to true patriots. ('Internationalist' being the way that globalists were evoked at the time).
The warnings took in all areas of life. For example:

The education which makes them the devotees of such abstract notions as 'Democracy', 'International Socialism', 'Pacifism', etc., is so hard-and-fast and exclusive and, operating as it does from within outwards, is so purely subjective that in forming their general picture of outside life as a whole they are fundamentally influenced by these A PRIORI notions. But, on the other hand, the attitude towards their own German nationality has been very objective from youth upwards. The Pacifist--in so far as he is a German--who surrenders himself subjectively, body and soul, to the dictates of his dogmatic principles, will always first consider the objective right or wrong of a situation when danger threatens his own people, even though that danger be grave and unjustly wrought from outside. But he will never take his stand in the ranks of his own people and fight for and with them from the sheer instinct of self-preservation.

But forget deluded, misguided students of the wretched Swedish internationalist kind, workers were deluded too:

The most difficult obstacle to the reunion of our contemporary worker in the national folk-community does not consist so much in the fact that he fights for the interests of his fellow-workers, but rather in the international ideas with which he is imbued and which are of their nature at variance with the ideas of nationhood and fatherland. This hostile attitude to nation and fatherland has been inculcated by the leaders of the working class. If they were inspired by the principle of devotion to the nation in all that concerns its political and social welfare, the trades unions would make those millions of workers most valuable members of the national community, without thereby affecting their own constant struggle for their economic demands.

As for fake news:

The function of the so-called liberal Press was to dig the grave for the German people and REICH. No mention need be made of the lying Marxist Press. To them the spreading of falsehood is as much a vital necessity as the mouse is to a cat. Their sole task is to break the national backbone of the people, thus preparing the nation to become the slaves of international finance and its masters, the Jews.

It reminded the pond that the reptiles were actually part of a vast globalist conspiracy led by Chairman Rupert, preparing the nation to become the financial slave of Chairman Rupert.

By Wednesday, the reptiles had moved into classic counter-revolutionary modes. Lloydie was full of uncertainty, and saucy doubts and fears, as he always is, and another blathered on about cults, though the pond can’t count the time that members of the reptile cult accused others of cultism. To waste years on this kool aid of the mind, why it was like visiting a journalistic Jonestown … where in the one breath a fundamentalist cultist of the Folau kind can be praised to the heavens and another cultist damned for all eternity for actually accepting what scientists are observing in the world …

Luckily there was an infallible Pope to bring closure to this part of the week …

And so at last to today's offerings, and what a ripper set they were …

Now the pond could only deal with two out of three - but two out of three ain't bad, and as boring as batshit all the same - but in any case, it was deemed that the bouffant one's arse-licking of SloMo was simply too obscene to feature …

And the pond should note that everything is a waste of breath, because the Donald had already been forgiven by the reptiles …

 

Yes, the fix was in, and Cam the man had it sorted with good news for the Donald, so perhaps it's wise for the pond to start with Polonius and those buffoons in the British Supreme Court …

Oh foolish judges … you thought you were merely calling a liar a liar for obviously lying, and you thought it had nothing to do with Brexit, but had to do with the lying. Please, allow Polonius to correct and enlighten you …

Of course there were other views of what went down, as here :

No surprise that the justices of the Supreme Court are now regarded as “fair game”, for the simple offence that they issued a judgment that was unhelpful to the Brexit cause. Their friendships, salaries, homes, relatives, careers and everything else is now, it would seem, open to attack. The aim – and I wonder how the laws of libel shall operate in such a world – is to undermine confidence in their competence, their impartiality and their job as protectors of all our rights and freedoms, and above all to impute their judgement with improper motives. A disgrace, but one for which there will be, apparently enough, legal redress. It is already happening. If you go for a stroll around the nuttier corners of the Leave Twittersphere, you will already see personalised attacks on the Supreme Court judges. They’re fairly pathetic. Sitting on the European Court of Human Rights, for example, is suggested as evidence for Europhiliac bias – even though the ECHR is not part of the EU and the UK ought to have representation on a body that sits in judgement on it. Watch more Boris Johnson deserves what the Supreme Court gave him: a humiliation Apparently some members of the Supreme Court are friendly with former newspaper editors. Some are well-off. Some charge the market rate for their services (just the same as a freelance journalist). And so on. It will no doubt get worse. The intrusions on their privacy and their honour will intensify. With no evidence whatsoever, we are asked to believe that they all voted Remain in the referendum. Maybe so, maybe not. Do any of them vote Conservative? Have they ever? It does not matter.

But our Polonius fancies himself as a Rees-Mogg down under, a languid ponce on the side of the peasants, so he can make a fortune from their folly:

Yes, indeed, indeed ...

The truth is that the extreme Leavers and their media allies have been here before. Do you recall the infamous newspaper headline “Enemies of the People” in 2016? That was the rabid reaction to a previous judgment, and a vicious assault on the senior judges’ integrity (in that case the High Court of England). There was some stuff about one of them being a “former fencing champ”, as if that was evidence of some sort of moral turpitude, and another was “professionally at least, a committed Europhile”, whatever that’s supposed to mean – though it was also conceded he was on the “right” side in other cases so far as the newspaper was concerned. God help us. But the point about the “Enemies of the People” episode is that it made no difference whatsoever to the independence of the judiciary. Indeed, it can now be seen to be counterproductive. It proves, were it needed, precisely how undemocratic and dictatorial the instincts of those who are now baying at what is now called, absurdly, the “Remain establishment”. Jacob Rees-Mogg, the leader of the House of Commons, called it a “constitutional coup”. Michael Gove suggests they are a just a bunch of academics chewing the fat – experts you might say the public have had enough of. They are, subtly, undermining the authority of the Supreme Court, by implying unworthy motives to the judges or querying their competence. This is dangerous talk, but for now at least the judges have held their nerve. No doubt finding some newspaper hack going through their bins or publishing photographs and addresses of their homes or running scurrilous articles about their children will be distressing to Lady Hale and her colleagues, but it will not work and will, as it has already, prove quite counterproductive.

And so to a final Polonial gobbet ...

What a strange and wondrous world it is, but let others have a final word ...

Johnson does not resemble an engagingly refreshing “outsider” as is suggested. This product of Eton and Oxford is just as “establishment” as the newspaper editors and writers who pretend otherwise. The 2016 referendum result has been wilfully misinterpreted as a sort of divine right to rule by a no-deal Eurosceptic extremist government, and it is no such thing. It is used as a trump card – the means justify the ends, Brexit “by all means necessary”. These personal attacks on the judges are in fact a sign of desperation – because Johnson’s Brexit strategy is collapsing under the weight of its own contradictions. Only by breaking the law can he get his way. That is not a great place to be. That is why we are in this mess. The judges should not be intimidated as they are in Italy or Venezuela or Iran, and be threatened with personal abuse and – not impossible – violence by newspapers and radicalised Leavers. Would some crazed activist try to attack a judge at home or in the street? The police say the fastest growing threat to security is coming from far-right extremism. Just remember the name Jo Cox, if you think such an event is unthinkable. It is not, and it tells us you everything you need to know about the dangers to life and limb, as well as our liberties.

And on that note, the pond turned to the bromancer, who tackled not only Boris but the orange one …

It's an epic, and only for reptile specialists, and the pond is already way over length, but hey, if you're going to get stuck in a traffic jam at the top of Everest, what better company than the bromancer?

Crackers! And of course, the 'leets, as if hauling in a tidy sum for being Chairman Rupert's keyboard slut didn't get you into the Valhalla of the 'leets ...

Yes, it's more of the same, and the pond immediately realised that only cartoons would save the day, and help stray readers last the distance, and luckily Rowe was on song … with more Rowe here …

Now remember that all this, lead by peasant Chairman Rupert, is a peasants' revolt, and the bromancer is at the forefront, a regular sans-culotte ...

Fair and square? Oh does the bromancer love his Vlad the impaler or what?

And now for a classic bromancer. It seems the Donald might have "behaved badly" and deserves a little criticism. But fair dibs, what's wrong with lying, cheating, philandering, consorting, conspiring, and confusing everything with your own narcissist self-interest?

It's not necessary to sign up to a conspiracy to produce an epic deep state conspiracy? 

You know, there was once a time when nuns lectured and hectored the pond about the ten commandments and lying and all that stuff, but these days, nobody - especially the reptiles, the Murdochians and the bromancer - give a flying fuck about that stuff any more …

Well there's no way this sort of obfuscation and support of a lying sack of fraudulent corruption is going to be done in a few words … but please, don't say you weren't warned. Just roll the jaffas down the aisle at lines like "Trump and Johnson are fighting for the soul of the West."

Some soul … but at least lying is now the endorsed norm, and the pond can already see all the black specks on the sacred heart of Jesus that the nuns kept going on about ...

Oh fucketty fuck, he'd try to make it all sound perfectly reasonable and respectable … that's what comes of travelling overseas, and returning with a soiled mind …

And still the bromancer bangs on, or should that be whistles?

Ah, it's the old "two sides" routine, done at great length …

Back to the masticating bromancer, chewing things over at endless length, and pronouncing both the Donald and the Boris very tasty humbugs … (whatever happened to the humbugs we used to get in Tamworth before the war?)

Indeed, indeed. Why can't they use simple, non-inflammatory language like 'crackers' and 'barking mad' … or a 'howling at the moon' by loonies escaped from the leftist lunatic asylum if you must?

Actually reading the bromancer is what produces the blankness, and the desire to shovel the dirt ...

Actually the pond really doesn't care that Boris is busy fucking up Britain, and that the orange one is busy fucking up the United States and the planet. The pond will be long gone by the time the shit really hits the fan …and the gongs are handed out …

And the reptiles, those still around, will be able to totter off to the Nuremburg climate trials, and take their medicine …

Meanwhile, the pond will keep on watching movies while the power holds out, so that assorted references can be enjoyed …

The hole truth? The reptiles can't handle the truth …and there's not a good man amongst them, let alone a woman, not while they love their pussy-grabbing liars ...