In which the pond cops a serve of Dame Slap and nattering "Ned" and feels morally uplifted and ready to crusade ...

Important reptile business in the rag today, not least the withering assessment of Malware by Dame Slap - in the guise of not giving a toss - and a stunning set of pronouncements from nattering "Ned" about moral imperatives …

Yes, it's going to be a long and dreary day in company with these ancient mariners, but let's begin with Dame Slap's message to the weirdos of Wentworth - you backed an irrelevant loser, you tossers, just like the wankers of Warringah, and now must be ignored …

Of course it's a classic case of coming not to praise, but to bury, and denying Malware's grim legacy even the status of rat-dom is an important part of a shunning which even your average Amish might find a little severe …

Remember, he's not even a rat, he's just a naughty boy ...

Strange that Dame Slap is silent in relation to the onion muncher. 

It must be that he's just a bitter failed Liberal leader, still searching for a new political home as opposition leader. Sure he turned on Malware in his daily vituperative rants, and achieved his aim of wrecking Malware and plunging the government into a minority, but perhaps these political shenanigans were just a way of feeding his relevance deprivation syndrome … 

And so back to a last gobbet trying to take the gloss off the real villain of these past few years … with the important message that the weirdos of Wentworth must also be shunned and spurned ...

Indeed, indeed. Learn nothing, cheer on fair dinkum coal, stay loyal to Nauru, maintain the culture wars, demand courses in Western Civilisation, stay true to the right of fundamentalists to continue to exercise their bigotry, revile climate science, and all will be well. 

Trust Dame Slap, it's worked out terribly well to date from someone who self-confessedly actually lives in Wentworth and so qualifies for being one of those weirdos …

Trust the weirdo. There will continue to be a reptile-led recovery, and who knows, the onion muncher might be just the lad to become leader of the opposition, with a batch of policies guaranteed by the reptile far right to appeal to that portion of middle Australia somewhere out there beyond Genghis Khan …

Whenever Dame Slap speaks these days, the pond is reminded of her love for the Donald, her donning of the MAGA hat, and her yearning for a strong leader … possibly with a taste for leather and boots.

And so to a brief break, thanks to Rowe, reminding readers of the ongoing great hits of Angus and ScoMo, with more Rowe here …

And now to the most important matter of the day …

Whenever "Ned" natters, one thing will be certain … it will be at length and no one will get to the wedding party …. but it will also provide much amusement and moral guidance, at least for anyone wanting to join angry Sydney Anglicans trying to turn back the tide to the good old days when a monarch could found a church to facilitate a divorce… (hello Saudi Arabia, it seems only you stayed on the right medieval repressive monarchist nee fascist thuggee killer right track).

Uh huh. Of course nattering "Ned" has nothing at all to say about the way that the reptiles have led the culture wars, urged on the trivialisation of compassion, demonised climate science, fought valiantly against gay rights, continue to campaign for the right of religions to exercise discrimination and bigotry, and filled the full to overflowing intertubes with endless blather about Western Civilisation, and its ongoing righteous tribal colonial mission to the world ...

Yes, it's another bout of gloom and doom from nattering "Ned", who must single-handedly keep the pharmaceutical industry booming with anti-depression pills …

It's true it was done long ago in that "we'll all be rooned" poem, but "Ned" works some exquisite variations … never mind the interminable moaning and sighing ...

Yep, there you go, "Ned's" idea of bringing people together is to call climate science a "virtue-signalling crusade." Sure, it's one step short of using the usual reptile terminology of a "religious crusade", but the pond catches "Ned's" luddite drift.

Well the pond didn't promise wisdom and healing on the interminable journey, though implicit in the text, it's possible to read an urgent plea for uppity difficult blacks, wretched gay and TG folk, and such like weirdo (possibly Wentworthian) people destined for hell, to get back into their boxes, so that angry old white men won't have to keep shouting at clouds … 

Perhaps we can then get back to the good old days when the British empire bestrode the earth and dissidents knew their place … because conformity and mindless forelock-tugging and stepping out of the way of your elders and betters is a front that, always and everywhere, conceals a deeper political agenda …

It turns out that everything is of course the fault of progressives, including the Donald and Pauline Hanson ...

Here's the thing. There was a time when the pond didn't give a whit or a jot about politics and went about its business without a care. 

Over the years, watching the reptiles transform into a platform wherein the likes of Dame Slap could worship at the feet of the Donald, the pond became dangerously radicalised …

And to his credit, every time the pond reads nattering "Ned" he does his little bit to help continue the pond's radicalisation.

A man so stupid as to continually blather, like the Donald, about the way that climate science is a "virtue-signalling crusade", while blathering how everyone is now dressed in moral clothes and that somehow this is the fault of a decline in shared religious faith is as barking mad as a fundamentalist Xian or Islamic …

Just roll that sentence around on the tongue and see if it's possible to find the slightest meaning or sense in it: "Everything is now dressed in moral clothes - the consequences of the decline in shared religious faith."

So a shared religious faith studiously avoided dressing everything in moral clothes?

What a weird, strange man he is … who knows what planet he lives on, but surely the planet should contain an electorate called Wentworth?

As for making actual moral cases or moral choices, the pond hasn't seen that much of it going around these days, whether in relation to people (and children) locked up in our very own gulags, or in relation to other matters … with one noted by the immortal Pope this day, an infallible jester to whom the pond always turns for its moral clothing… with more haberdashery papery on hand here …