Wednesday, October 24, 2018

In which the pond cops a serve of Dame Slap and nattering "Ned" and feels morally uplifted and ready to crusade ...


Important reptile business in the rag today, not least the withering assessment of Malware by Dame Slap - in the guise of not giving a toss - and a stunning set of pronouncements from nattering "Ned" about moral imperatives …

Yes, it's going to be a long and dreary day in company with these ancient mariners, but let's begin with Dame Slap's message to the weirdos of Wentworth - you backed an irrelevant loser, you tossers, just like the wankers of Warringah, and now must be ignored …


Of course it's a classic case of coming not to praise, but to bury, and denying Malware's grim legacy even the status of rat-dom is an important part of a shunning which even your average Amish might find a little severe …

Remember, he's not even a rat, he's just a naughty boy ...


Strange that Dame Slap is silent in relation to the onion muncher. 

It must be that he's just a bitter failed Liberal leader, still searching for a new political home as opposition leader. Sure he turned on Malware in his daily vituperative rants, and achieved his aim of wrecking Malware and plunging the government into a minority, but perhaps these political shenanigans were just a way of feeding his relevance deprivation syndrome … 

And so back to a last gobbet trying to take the gloss off the real villain of these past few years … with the important message that the weirdos of Wentworth must also be shunned and spurned ...


Indeed, indeed. Learn nothing, cheer on fair dinkum coal, stay loyal to Nauru, maintain the culture wars, demand courses in Western Civilisation, stay true to the right of fundamentalists to continue to exercise their bigotry, revile climate science, and all will be well. 

Trust Dame Slap, it's worked out terribly well to date from someone who self-confessedly actually lives in Wentworth and so qualifies for being one of those weirdos …

Trust the weirdo. There will continue to be a reptile-led recovery, and who knows, the onion muncher might be just the lad to become leader of the opposition, with a batch of policies guaranteed by the reptile far right to appeal to that portion of middle Australia somewhere out there beyond Genghis Khan …

Whenever Dame Slap speaks these days, the pond is reminded of her love for the Donald, her donning of the MAGA hat, and her yearning for a strong leader … possibly with a taste for leather and boots.

And so to a brief break, thanks to Rowe, reminding readers of the ongoing great hits of Angus and ScoMo, with more Rowe here


And now to the most important matter of the day …


Whenever "Ned" natters, one thing will be certain … it will be at length and no one will get to the wedding party …. but it will also provide much amusement and moral guidance, at least for anyone wanting to join angry Sydney Anglicans trying to turn back the tide to the good old days when a monarch could found a church to facilitate a divorce… (hello Saudi Arabia, it seems only you stayed on the right medieval repressive monarchist nee fascist thuggee killer right track).


Uh huh. Of course nattering "Ned" has nothing at all to say about the way that the reptiles have led the culture wars, urged on the trivialisation of compassion, demonised climate science, fought valiantly against gay rights, continue to campaign for the right of religions to exercise discrimination and bigotry, and filled the full to overflowing intertubes with endless blather about Western Civilisation, and its ongoing righteous tribal colonial mission to the world ...


Yes, it's another bout of gloom and doom from nattering "Ned", who must single-handedly keep the pharmaceutical industry booming with anti-depression pills …

It's true it was done long ago in that "we'll all be rooned" poem, but "Ned" works some exquisite variations … never mind the interminable moaning and sighing ...


Yep, there you go, "Ned's" idea of bringing people together is to call climate science a "virtue-signalling crusade." Sure, it's one step short of using the usual reptile terminology of a "religious crusade", but the pond catches "Ned's" luddite drift.

Well the pond didn't promise wisdom and healing on the interminable journey, though implicit in the text, it's possible to read an urgent plea for uppity difficult blacks, wretched gay and TG folk, and such like weirdo (possibly Wentworthian) people destined for hell, to get back into their boxes, so that angry old white men won't have to keep shouting at clouds … 

Perhaps we can then get back to the good old days when the British empire bestrode the earth and dissidents knew their place … because conformity and mindless forelock-tugging and stepping out of the way of your elders and betters is a front that, always and everywhere, conceals a deeper political agenda …

It turns out that everything is of course the fault of progressives, including the Donald and Pauline Hanson ...


Here's the thing. There was a time when the pond didn't give a whit or a jot about politics and went about its business without a care. 

Over the years, watching the reptiles transform into a platform wherein the likes of Dame Slap could worship at the feet of the Donald, the pond became dangerously radicalised …

And to his credit, every time the pond reads nattering "Ned" he does his little bit to help continue the pond's radicalisation.

A man so stupid as to continually blather, like the Donald, about the way that climate science is a "virtue-signalling crusade", while blathering how everyone is now dressed in moral clothes and that somehow this is the fault of a decline in shared religious faith is as barking mad as a fundamentalist Xian or Islamic …

Just roll that sentence around on the tongue and see if it's possible to find the slightest meaning or sense in it: "Everything is now dressed in moral clothes - the consequences of the decline in shared religious faith."

So a shared religious faith studiously avoided dressing everything in moral clothes?

What a weird, strange man he is … who knows what planet he lives on, but surely the planet should contain an electorate called Wentworth?

As for making actual moral cases or moral choices, the pond hasn't seen that much of it going around these days, whether in relation to people (and children) locked up in our very own gulags, or in relation to other matters … with one noted by the immortal Pope this day, an infallible jester to whom the pond always turns for its moral clothing… with more haberdashery papery on hand here



8 comments:

  1. Dame Slap: "[Turnbull] ... he reduced the Liberal party to a one-seat majority at the 2016 election after Tony Abbott delivered a thumping 14-seat win in 2013."

    Wau, that's fantastic: 14 seats - and that's after Rudd only delivered a paltry 16-seat win in 2007. And especially after Abbott had delivered an incredible zero-seat dead-heat in 2010 against Julia. The Muncher's accomplishments will dominate Australia's political history for the number and size of his accomplishments.

    But then, surely they all pale into ignominy beside only the second PM not only to lose government by 'landslide' - losing 22 seats (including 2 National) in Rudd's 16-seat victory - but also losing his own seat. Try as he might to emulate his hero, Abbott just couldn't manage it.

    But now for some Neddy: "Identity politics run by progressives has a sure result: it generates identity politics from conservatives."

    Oh that's wonderful, Neddy exhibiting gross psychological projection there. But then, it's a standard reptile ploy: first, project your own faults onto others, and then claim that their failings justifies and excuses your own. And there's none better at that ploy than a Kelly.

    "What a weird, strange man he is..."

    Nah, just your average thickheaded, old, senile curmudgeon, I reckon DP.

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    1. I can only agree. Ned has problems with progress and democracy as well as a sort of rheumy eyed view of the past. I certainly cannot recognise the Australia he is describing where we were all in lockstep pursuing the common good.

      My recollection is we were poorer, less safe and driven by the vested interest of a de facto ruling class. What Ned describes as identity politics is just people realising they are being ripped off.

      Still, disguising these unpleasant realities is the purpose of the yellow press so I shouldn't be surprised by Ned or any of the others.

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    2. Ned's "rheumy eyed view" ... yep that pretty much says it all. But once, when I was still very young, we did seem to be just a bit in step: during the time of Joe Ben Chifley for most of his reign. And at least we got GMH and the Snowy Scheme out of it - plus Australian Citizenship, the ANU and ASIO. And we nearly got Commonwealth Scholarships and an Aussie 'National Health' Scheme.

      But then, Menzies and the Libs and their cohorts played identity politics (the "Right" is right and those Labor Lefties are communists !) and so we began the long march through the identities to the mess we're in today.

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  2. I repeatedly think the reptiles have hit "peak stupid" just to have them rise to a new level. If they are delusional when simply prosecuting the master's grand plan, they go absolutely barking mad when faced with a setback - and Wentworth is a big one!

    First comes the "blamestorming" where the party sit down and decide who gets the blame for their collective and ongoing f@#k-up. Then we have the spin "it's not a rat it's a Siberian Hamster". Lastly, we blame the voters - a brilliant scheme to entrench an independent in what should be a safe seat.


    I can only hope they roll out this brilliant stratagem in every conservative stronghold.

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  3. Befuddled - its a Norwegian Blue.

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  4. Ah, Neddy - the more you cry in the wilderness, the more absurdly entertaining you become.

    Given that the apology on institutional abuse was delivered a couple of days ago, it might be timely to recall Ned's comments from back when the Royal Commission was first announced - and thankfully, a Grudian commentator has done that just this morning -

    >>>Paul Kelly stated: “The dismal, populist and doomed quality of Australian governance has been on display this week with Julia Gillard announcing an in-principle royal commission into child sexual abuse, a panicked Tony Abbott falling into line and an ignorant media offering cheer upon cheer. Rarely has an Australian government embarked on such a sensitive and vast project in profound ignorance of what it was doing, with virtually no serious policy consideration and driven entirely by politics.”>>>

    That's our Ned - a prophet without peer.

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    1. Ned and quite a few others, I reckon.

      Not to mention those other great prophets who said that the Banks and Financial Services Royal Commission was just a Lefty wank too. One of them has recently been rolled for his many sins, but another one of them ... well, don't look now but I think he's running the joint.

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  5. That's not a column Dame Slap, that's hardly even a tweet -"Turnbull's not A Rat, he's just a very naughty boy".

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