… which is why, when people talk of threatening public health in this country, the pond goes into something of a frenzy.
The pond also came away aware that it had been dangerously over-dosing on reptiles and had paid the psychic and medical consequences …
The pond isn't quite sure where the reptile stew fits in the Monash Uni FODMAP, but the medical advice seemed to suggest that only one reptile might be taken of a morning, and perhaps with a balanced diet, things might improve … everything in moderation, and understand that even a single reptile is always immoderate.
It turned out it wasn't so hard. All the pond had to do was a headline comparison …
It felt that the time the pond was away, everything had stayed preserved in aspic, a kind of reptile Brigadoon, where everything was exactly the same as it had ever been … like polling … compare the reptiles and the FairFaxians ,..
While the pond was away it became fixated on Brexit, with the odd dose of James O'Brien for flavouring, and the Trump circus, and the Kanye thing, and the parrot actually forced to say sorry, and the paying of schools lavish sums to exercise their right to be bigots, and rampant climate denialism and coal lovers clinging to the past, and the sudden realisation by some that Saudi Arabia was just another brutal medieval outpost and so on and so forth, and what do you know?
Not a single thing had changed, there were still the usual idiot reptiles roaming the pages …
You can be as humble as you like but that doesn't stop you from being a gigantic fuckwit if you don't see how the Everest affair was a gigantic fuckup and a public relations folly.
Why even the parrot had to say sorry, which was astonishing news to a Melbourne visitor, who rushed back home to plan their Melbourne Cup day, while noting it actually did stop the nation, and mocking Sydney for its parrot-induced psittacosis …
And what do you know, there was this …
There's only one thing to say about the Major, apart from him being a complete and comprehensive doofus. Why not have the opportunity to consume the news from sources that don't have an ideological bias?
You can consume all the opinions you like from gigantic twits like the Major, but why must the news have an idealogical skew each and every time? Whatever happened to Det Sgt Joe Friday and "just the facts ma'am"?
The pond felt an enormous relief that it wouldn't have to waste time on the Major being as resolutely stupid as he was the day he set out in search of that Order of Lenin medal as a form of news-gathering.
What did that leave? Well there was good old Simon doing it for ScoMo, and the Caterist still pocketing hard earned Australian taxpayer dollars and having the cheek to blather about handouts - the enormous gall of the man couldn't be fixed even by the good folk in the HITH - and then came the Oreo ...
Naturally the pond had to go with the Oreo … some things are just destined …stupidity must find its own level, and the pond always finds it can go as deep as the Oreo …
Of course the pond had a couple of questions. Would the talk of religious freedom venture into the troubled arena of the Saudi Arabians, and the Donald's and Jared Kushner's lickspittle soft-pedalling of any attempt to do anything about state-sanctioned murder?
Would there be an attempt to distract from the bigotry floating around at home?
How the cawing Crowe has changed now he's away from the lizard Oz kool aid … but on with the Oreo and never mind the FODMAP diet …
What a tremendous distraction, and not a single mention of the Saudis, or the Donald's love of that oppressive theocratic regime, or a mention of home grown bigotry and state-funded hate …
No, the pond didn't miss the infallible Pope and the immortal Rowe, the pond stayed in touch with them throughout its sojourn …
What the, indeed, and what about that other matter with the Donald?
Well there's more immortal Pope here, and there's still a chance for the Oreo to return from her chosen Brigadoon to more recent events …
Uh huh, not a word about the Saudis, the Donald and Jared, a mighty feat, and not a word about those who yearn for a theocracy at home …
Yet there seemed to be something ominous in Rowe's pool …
And he had some thoughts on the two mentally impaired folk who distracted from the hurricane and sundry other important matters (with more Rowe here)...
Last chance for the Oreo ...
What an epic fail. How about this for a column?
Why that's almost as weird and as fucked as the Saudis hacking up a journalist in an embassy … and much more to be found here ...
But to end on a light note, away from fundamentalist Islamic and Xian nonsense, the pond was eternally grateful for Rowe's latest vision of the parrot, a genuine religious epiphany …
"The pond also came away aware that it had been dangerously over-dosing on reptiles"
ReplyDeleteSadly, sadly so, DP, but hard to avoid because there's so many of them ... and they're breeding !
" and had paid the psychic and medical consequences …"
And so they win every time.
But, butt: "...only one reptile might be taken of a morning, and perhaps with a balanced diet, things might improve"
Yay, and welcome, welcome back DP. Life just wasn't the same without you - verily, you are our very own HITH !
So good to see you back.
ReplyDeleteFunny isn't it, when things turn bad you realise which individuals are important in society and which ones are simply a burden. Hint - its not opinion writers, politicians, lobbyists, political scientists or sundry lickspittals.
One thing has struck me about recent events - the genuine shock among the born-to-rule when the lower classes have confronted them. I had always thought conservative politics was just a cynical exercise to keep the masses in their place but it appears the dumb-asses actually thought they had popular support.
Good to have you back, DP
DeleteBefuddled, read David Graeber's book, Bullshit jobs for more examples.
Oh yes, Bef. Just think of Cori Bernardi for a simple example: he thought his penny-ante little 'Australian Conservatives' were going to sweep him into government.
DeleteWhat can be said or done about cretins like that ?
Only $6.99 on Kobo - bargain!
DeleteI tend to think of the B Ark on Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. When have any of these people done anything but stand in the way?
Now come on, Bef, you know what happened to the Golgafrinchams after the B Arc had left - something about unsanitised telephones, wasn't it ?
DeleteAfter the very affectionate greetings, it's time now to get back to business:
ReplyDeleteThe Oreo: "The only constraint on religious freedom should be the principle of no harm."
And that's why we have Section 18C, Jennypenny !
But then, every little lie that is pushed onto a people and their society weakens and oppresses us. And your religion is just lies from beginning to end, Oreo ... just lie after lie after lie.
Is Lying Ever Okay for Christians? - RELEVANT Magazine ( https://relevantmagazine.com/god/deeper-walk/features/21429-is-lying-ever-okay )
Oreo again: "In Western terms, the criminalisation of blasphemy constitutes an attack on freedom of speech ..."
But, Butt Oreonious one, blasphemy is still a crime in Australia:
Although the common law offences of blasphemy and blasphemous libel were abolished in England and Wales in 2008, they have not been abolished in Australia in South Australia, Victoria, New South Wales, the Northern Territory, and Norfolk Island, and blasphemy but not blasphemous libel remains as an offence in the Australian Capital Territory.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blasphemy_law_in_Australia
"Last chance for the Oreo" ...
Oreomy: "The Western experiment with theocracy failed eventually because citizens demanded freedom to think and speak in the interest of public reason and human progress."
And it's an utter fail ! The "Western experiment with theocracy" failed because of the great human and financial capital expense of conducting religious wars and religious oppression. Which basically is the only reason(s) that the human race has stopped committing carnage, massacre and enslavement for at least the past 5000 years. And even then some very 'Christian' people continued with the slavery part for several more centuries.
And even now the reptiles fight the good fight to totally prevent anybody else's "freedom of speech" other than their own.
Welcome back DP. And about public health, a two year old member of our family was unwell enough one night to be taken to pediatric emergency and was admitted to the ward for most of the next day to make sure he'd be all right. His Mummy was provided with a bedside chair that unfolded into a bed in case she needed to sleep alongside him, toys were brought and two clowns came in to entertain him - he was unsure about them at first but they soon got him laughing. Overall treatment couldn't have been better if we'd been paying $1000 a day. Defend this, folks, it's a wonderful service. If health isn't a human right, what is?
ReplyDeleteHurrah!!!
ReplyDeleteThe raindrops are messing with the good times here on the Riviera it's true, but what a welcome return DP.
I've been logging in as soon as possible, "Justin Milne must go" has been a lovely mantra to mentally chant.
But back to business indeed.
Great news for Australians is the Morrison government has well and truly raised our profile internationally.
Many people questioning the shenanigans at home in Cannes.
Scott's marketing gifts have our name up and about again.
In a WTAF way, but what should we worry about that eh?