Now is the time for sober reflection in reptile land, an analysis of what went wrong and how to fix it … for deep and thoughtful analysis …
Oh heck, let's just blame Malware for doing what he said he'd do, and the Libs going ahead and ditching him anyway, and can at last due credit be given to those who worked so hard to earn it over the last few years?
More on that later - yes, the onion muncher is front and centre - as the Liberals and the lizard Oz have been working hard on the Malware angle hard …
Suddenly they want help from a loser? A dropkick who dropped $1.5 million on the party, and was rewarded with a necking?
Even a few tremulous thoughts of a policy change or suggestions ScoMo or Barners might not have helped have been carefully balanced by the reptiles …
Recognise climate science? How on earth would that help? Even worse the Fairfaxians have been having a fun time with wets going all nervous nelly …
Listening to the right wing commentators in the lizard Oz?
How outrageous, the pond does it all the time, and where's the harm? Just look at them this morning, all lined up like ducks in a row, knowing it was all Malware's fault, whatever nattering "Ned" might say …
See, Craig, how the Caterist has devised a top-notch winning strategy to win the Wentworth electorate back at the soon to come general election.
Insult them up hill, mock them down dale …
Only the brightest minds from the cash in the paw grant system run by the Department of Finance could come up with this sort of impeccable insight …
Why not start with a chardonnay joke, and ignore the way that sav blanc from NZ might have more passionfruit and citrus essence, and even be a little bit fresher ...
What a wondrous strategy. Abuse the electorate, call them rich farts who wouldn't know if their collective bums were on fire without benefit of an Amex card, diss as useless a bunch of clowns who had stayed resolutely conservative for over a century.
How about throwing in "weird"? Of course, the Caterist, living in penury on his Department of Finance grant, is only too happen to oblige ...
It's as if the Caterist is determined to argue that Wentworth will never return to the fold. And they dish out grants to the Menzies Institute for this sort of Liberal deep thinking?
Did the Caterist just scribble "An absence of self-awareness appears to be a permanent feature of the elite living off Department of Finance grants?"
Sorry, the pond misread it, but perhaps it's true all the same …
And now on with more post-mortem, because the pond can't get enough of it from the people Craig said too many people were reading …
Oh dear, surely not ScoMo, surely no one could be blaming him …
Well the pond knows it's on a limited diet of reptiles, but where's the harm in indulging in an Oreo just to put a spring in the step on a Monday?
You see Craig, the government lost Wentworth because it's not ratbag right wing enough, and yes, indeed, it's all Malware's fault, with worthy efforts by others resolutely ignored ...
Despite assurances, Malware quit after days?
So the adept Oreo can turn on a dime and re-write history.
The pond is sorry this is only a screen cap but there were dozens of stories of the Malcolm Turnbull is Set To Quit Parliament Immediately kind doing the rounds back in August …
In fact it's about the only useful policy Malware initiated - to quit if he lost - and one of the few times he actually kept his word in his dissembling, NBN-wrecking career.
But do go on ...
Oh come on shameless Oreo, the pond already knows that Wentworth voters are deeply weird and alien and certainly not real Australians. Why if that happens to include the Jewish religion, just check with the Caterist and he'll explain. Please! Pay attention!
Well this is all wondrous analysis, deeply insightful and no doubt reassuring to Phelps, who will struggle to hold what she just recently seems to have gained, but none of it recognises one of the most important and significant and diligent efforts mounted by the leader in exile, just waiting to return as head of opposition …
Yet he was honoured only yesterday in the digital lizard Oz ...
Oh sure the Fairfaxians are already out and about with fear campaigns and talk of independent challenges …
But please, allow the pond to honour the man who achieved what he set out to do … wreck Malware, and never mind a little fall-out in the minds of weird Wentworthians …
Yes, fair enough, Malware had much more to lose than the onion muncher, and so the Libs seem to have lost Wentworth, and that's why the onion muncher tenaciously clings to his spot at the top of the pond.
He did his thing on the backbench, and what a splendid bitter, angry, sniping, undermining, wrecking, back-biting thing it was, and what splendid results is has produced to date … but let's not forget the important role that the mutton Dutton also played. Why did he never make it to the pond's banner for his valiant efforts?
What a festering snake-pit of self-interest, even weirder than the weirdest bunch of Wentworthians … and that includes those who put the cutlery out in the garden ...
And now the onion muncher is bitter that ScoMo managed to do what he could never do, regain his rightful crown, his position on the throne?
Why Richard III seems like a story for kindergarten or weird Wenthworthians up against this mob and their advisers in the right wing media, known as the lizard Oz 'leet commentariat to even those who don't have an Amex card …
And now having gorged itself, the pond must fit in that final after breakfast mint, and what richer, more beguiling pepperminty flavour than a Rowe, with more tempting Rowe always available here …
Who knew there was quicksand on Bondi beach, just near the pavilion, and just what are those relentless waves washing away?
Oh dio!
ReplyDeleteI literally can't keep up any longer, but one request, and one only: could the Oriel and the Caterist just keep pumping out the bilge and the advice?
Because lord knows, Australia is craving what they offer. They are effective and well regarded influencers. One look at the weekend results, and the sight of the dog botherer blowing a gasket on Rarely Watched cable TV is the sweetest sort of candy.
Go Sharkies.
The Oreo: "It took John Howard's late intervention to stave off electoral oblivion for the Coalition in Wentworth."
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, that's it; only the incomparable John Winston stood between the voters of Wentworth and an "electoral oblivion".
What was that you said, DP ? "So the adept Oreo can turn on a dime and re-write history. "
Oh yes, spot on there, as usual.
Not only ... but also: Oreo: "...the Coalition's priority must be ... including a national energy plan ..."
Que ? But didn't they just totally dismantle one of them ? And now Jennipenny wants another one ? But we needn't worry, The Muncher will ensure that never happens.
Poor old Morrisscum called out for the speaker to stop the hecklers during a press conference.
ReplyDeleteGreat to have you back Dorothy.
'but let's not forget the important role that the mutton Dutton also played. Why did he never make it to the pond's banner for his valiant efforts?'
ReplyDeleteFor the same reason Goebbels isn't on the pond's banner, I presume.
Cater needs to write the same article about Longman, Mayo, Braddon, Perth and Fremantle. Christ he's a fuckwit.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're back DP.