Spare a moment this Monday morning for a delicious Oriel snack ...

The pond is expecting, hoping for a transmission any day now from Moorice...

With the heat off, it's about time for the master climate scientist to saunter into view and denounce the hysterical behaviour of Greg Hunt, daring to admit the coral might be heat-stressed. Person up coral, or piss off ...

Meanwhile, the pond had to be contented with the lesser Oreo, but even then her transmission brought tears to the pond's eyes at the thought of the humanity, oh the humanity, and the suffering ...

Now for those who came in late to the story, the Oreo is a very important academic ...

... so whenever this VIA, intent on saving Western Civilisation dares to Speak the pond naturally Pays Attention ...

You can see why this brought tears to the eyes of the pond. Splendid stuff. The pond could almost hear the creaking of the leather as white men in their clubs around the land paused from their breakfast and a snifter of heart-starting pick-me-up dry sherry to give the Oreo a round of hearty applause ...

So much suffering and for so long ...

Now you might ask is there a concrete example of this persecution doing the rounds, and luckily the pond has an answer.

It was alleged that a certain person came up with this tweet ...

Surely a harmless bit of japery, a post-modernist, post-ironic bit of fun ...and yet the man was apparently mocked and trended briefly on twitter, and had to take firm action ...

There was the relentless, astonishing abuse that he had to deal with ... when all he was doing was making the very same point as the valiant, oracular Oreo ...

And who is this tired man?

Now the pond thinks any passing sceptic owes the Oreo a profound apology. 

So much suffering for an innocent, long-suffering man ...

And indeed in recent times, the persecution has been relentlessly aided and abetted by the likes of the Graudian ...

Now you might read the rest of that wretched persecutory story here, but luckily the oracular Oreo has already done a pre-emptive strike against those haters ...

Indeed, indeed, because the one thing that the Oreo can guarantee is an open-mind, singularly without a hint of prejudice and attitude.

Poor, persecuted Aristotle ... Look at those wretches at the University of Melbourne. They elevated Plato to the top of the class!

Damn you Platonists, damn you to Oreo hell ...

And now please allow the pond to note that it too is terribly grateful to the reptiles of Oz, and enormously relieved, because, it should go without saying, sans reptiles, the pond would simply have to shift to looking at the latest eccentricities in American white male politics ... as they suffer under the yoke of Kenyan Muslims and uppity women ...

And so to the last gobbet, and naturally the pond is expecting, nay, demanding a reference to George Orwell.

The pond loves the smell of an Orwellian quote on a Monday morning ...

Splendid, incisive stuff, and the notion that white men are privileged in any way shocks the pond to the core. 

Look at the angry old reptiles who turn up on a daily basis at the lizard Oz. Is that privilege? Or is that just the daily duty of noble old bastards doing their best to make things better for pesky no-hoper welfare-bludging blacks, and whinging, whining, moaning, nagging women ...

But before we rush off to tell these nags to get back to the kitchen where they belong, and the blacks to get a job, the pond would like to end with conclusive, definitive proof of the ongoing persecution and mockery of noble white men ...

Stop that at once First Dog, and please don't encourage the Doggie by heading off here to see the rest of that cartoon ...

Remember, the oracular Oreo has spoken ...