Day 1, and so it begins ... harmless at first, but then the horrors and the body count begin to mount ...

(Above: and more excellent Rowe here, where the master, knowing his Tarantino, might next move on to the ears, or if able to remember that Aussie flick Money Movers, to the toes).

The pond had wanted to start off the day by congratulating Subaru on its new spot.

After all, who could resist three singing dogs, and the precious memories they evoke?

Plucking eyebrows on the way, shaving legs, he was a she, taking a walk on the wild side, never losing your head even while giving head, never giving it away, everyone had to pay and pay, a hustle here, a hustle there, a speeding James Dean for the day before the crash, valium to help with that bash ...

Crappy cars and crappy delusional images of suburban bliss, but sweet memories for the pond ... and no wonder Cory's so alarmed. If Subaru can use blissful dogs crooning of drugs, trannies, male prostitution and oral sex, can the fall of western civilisation be far away?

But no, it's not the fall of western civilisation, it's just the beginning of an interminable, never-ending election campaign.

Sadly, this means that important climate science work will have to go missing ...

Relax folks, Lloydy's on the case, all is well in the garden. It's well on the way to recovery even before Lloydy and the reptiles were willing to admit things might be a tad askew ... and we owe it all to the feds ...

Good on you Lloydy for having a go ... but sadly the pond can delay only so long and we must turn to the matters at hand ... and thanks be to Tony for reminding the world what we're voting for ...

The pond had the misfortune of catching a few moments of a trainwreck interview on 7.30 last night - Sales and Turnbull really do bring out the worst in each other, resulting in so much Subaru suffering for the pond - with Sales doing the honourable, personable thing and withdrawing, as you can confirm here:

LEIGH SALES: OK. I withdraw - replacing Tony Abbott. 
MALCOLM TURNBULL: Yes, true. Let's talk ... 
LEIGH SALES: So - but there's - what was the point of that because there's been very little policy change? 
MALCOLM TURNBULL: Well that's - that's quite untrue, if I may say so. Let me run through a few. Firstly, we dealt with Senate voting reform. That was not on the agenda and it's done. It's been voted in and done. Secondly, we have a cities policy. We are not limiting our support in cities and generally to roads, we're supporting mass transit and public transport. Media ownership reform, kicked into the long grass, never to be seen again, apparently; taken out. It is now the Government's policy and we'll be proceeding to bring our media ownership laws into the 21st Century. And right across the agenda of innovation, that's - that is an innovation, if you like, of my prime ministership, but we are supporting investment in new start-up companies. We're ensuring that our universities and our best minds and our big research institutions work closely with and collaborate with business. I mentioned the point about business continuity and changing corporate bankruptcy laws. Right across the board, there are - there are many - look, between Tony and myself, Tony Abbott and myself, there is continuity. Of course; I was part of his government, part of his cabinet, but already is also a great deal of change. So, as you go from one Liberal prime minister to another, you have continuity and you have change and there has been a lot of change.

Wouldn't it have been simpler just to embrace the obvious election slogan for the duration of the campaign?

But enough of the distractions, because the pond must now change gears and move in to election cycle mode, with non-stop coverage of the reptiles covering the campaign.

First we may quickly dismiss the dismal Fairfaxians, who seem to think there was some sort of dry gulching ambush going down ...

Well no, the only jolly crew who might claim to have been ambushed and to not have seen it coming was Richard Di Natale and his team.

And it's just as easy to dismiss the fatuous stupidities of the 'send in the hounds' man ...

Steals a march? Caught on the hop? Is that what Napoleon and Hitler said on the way to Moscow? 

15 long, interminable weeks... is that the hop?

If the Senate were to buckle - unlikely, but if enough folded - the cries of outrage and the howls of pain when the DD was snatched away would be wondrous to hear ... 

If that august body stays firm, everything for the next 15, long interminable weeks, will be given a political spin and a tweak, refracted through the distorting lens, every report by the wall puncher from London reported with exceptional gravitas and concern, every event inspected like the innards of a chicken ...

Already the process has begun and the pond must acknowledge with a hat tip, the splendid effort of dissembling Troy this Tuesday morning trying on a distraction ...

Well played Troy ... That beats the 'send in the hounds' man silly ...

And so to a Pope - more papal misdemeanours here - before the pond gets down to its hard yards coverage of the reptiles doing the best to re-elect a Tony Abbott government ...