'Tis the season to be silly ...

(Above: the pond goes wild for a 365/12/7/24 Xmas).


The pond's always been a big fan of the notion of plausible deniability, at least the version that proposes a lack of incontrovertible proof handily allows a plausible denial.

That allows Gerard Henderson to plausibly deny any leadership speculation in relation to Tony Abbott in Don't believe the hype: no Christmas leadership gift for media.

Yep, it's not just retailing that wants Christmas to come earlier each year, it seems that the media is in some kind of deluded spin because Santa's bumbling elves are out and about.

It doesn't have anything to do with poor form, mis-steps and polling, of the kind which sees cricket players of a certain age unceremoniously dumped (oh the pond is maintaining its cricket-awareness program as best it can).

No, it's what known in the movies as The Christmas Identity, The Christmas Supremacy, The Christmas Ultimatum,  or The Christmas Legacy, generally known as The Christmas Tetralogy (or Quadrilogy if you will).

Now as the storm bearing down on the United States reminds the world, there are more immediate and pressing needs and threats than the suffering induced by reading Gerard Henderson, ferreting through the entrails and advising it's all to do with the season, or perhaps the stars, maybe even the tea leaves, but here's the spectacular opener:

Thank God, Christmas comes but once a year. 

It reminded the pond of a favourite maiden aunt of a rustic bent who considered Christmas the worst of times and the best of times, but endurable provided it came once a year, fruit cake was made, threepences and sixpences were inserted into the boiled pudding, and the entirety of January could be taken off.

Somehow Christmas exerted a dire baleful magnetic influence for months before it happened, and months after it, and so it seems it also affects politics:

The problem with Australian politics is that the leadership speculation, which invariably increases towards the end of the calendar year, often extends into the following year. 

Shocking, and worse still, there's all this talk of productivity and the Asian century and the need to work, even in January. Can't we just have some down time?

It seems the impact of Christmas starts around July:

The second half of 2012 has been replete with speculation about challenges to the Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, and the Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott. 

Say what? What about the endless stream of speculation about Julia Gillard's leadership in the first half of 2012?

The point of all this of course is that our prattling Polonius is indulging in spin, which is why he's included Gillard, to appear even-handed, and to dissemble, and plausibly deny there's something in the water now revolving around Tony Abbott's leadership and strategies, and that's come about because of poor form, mis-steps, an inability to tweak his googly, and polling.

It's so naked it would be tragic if it were anyone other than Henderson, but it shows how you can waste a lot of words deconstructing his verbiage and snow jobs (another problem that  Christmas can bring, at least if you have Christmas in July down under).

Anyhoo, the pond hadn't paid much attention to the blather about Abbott's position being re-examined and placed under stress and threat.

Suddenly Hendo's attempt to plausibly deny it suggests all bets are off because Hendo might deny but he's rarely plausible. So where there's chattering smoke there must be fire and blame it all on Christmas, the season, and vibes in the ether if you will, but Hendo running cover suggests that Abbott needs to watch his step.

A few more bad polls, and a tight race, and endlessly nattering in a negative way about climate science and the carbon tax (did anyone mention a storm set running by warm water?) and the nervous nellies munching on their Christmas pud might be so smitten by the season they might just smite him. Under the influence of one season or another ...

I know, I know, it's still only October and there's a day to go before we hit November and here we are nattering about Christmas and stockings and Xmas crackers and trees - plastic or aluminium foil or real? - and it's all Hendo's fault.

Anyhoo, all this is just a preamble for Hendo to diss and dismiss that rogue bull Malcolm Turnbull, who has taken a shocking stand in relation to climate science (and never mind record storms distracting from the profound insights in Hendo's scribbling), and Alan Jones and moderation and being polite and ...

Big Mal has also disgraced himself on the question of gay marriage, suggesting opponents are dripping with the worst sort of hypocrisy, which is simply too much for Hendo to bear, seeing as how he sees nothing wrong with dripping with the worst sort of hypocrisy.

Not to worry, it leads to a repetition for the umpteenth time of an old saw delivered by Hendo as if it were gospel:

The 2013 election will be decided in western Sydney, northern NSW and Queensland, where attitudes on social policy are different from those in Bondi Junction, where Turnbull's office is.

Which is more than passing strange when you think about it. Do the majority who favour marriage reform, all two thirds of them, all live in Bondi Junction? (Poll shows support of gay marriage at high - paywall affected). No wonder there's so many apartment blocks sprouting like mushrooms around the mall ...

Even stranger, there's that hick from the sticks hailing Malcolm Turnbull (Windsor says Turnbull would be better leader), and the cardigan wearers welcoming the lad (Abbott invisible, Turnbull welcomed in ATC election campaign), and polling showing an Australia-wide preference for big Mal, and Turnbull firms as preferred leader - forced video at end of link - 63% to 30% over Abbott.

But don't worry, they all live in Bondi Junction, at least in their minds, or they're suffering from the early onset of Christmas syndrome.

Still, it's so serious that our prattling Polonius has to roll out a heavy hitter from the other side to show how normal Tony Abbott is:

In July, The Australian reported that the Immigration Minister, Chris Bowen, the member for McMahon in western Sydney, had declared that he would vote against gay marriage. Bowen, who is not religious, said that many in his community have explained to him ''the great importance they place on the traditional definition of marriage''. There are many Christians and Muslims in McMahon.

Suddenly Muslims are decent, traditional conservative folk in Hendo's world?

Whatever the likes of Gilmore and Seccombe think of Abbott, he has successfully led the opposition for three years because he has a certain appeal in the outer suburbs and regional centres, where most of the marginal seats are.

Yes, and it seems his policies appeal to Muslims. Which leads the pond to propose a new set of policies and perhaps a slogan for Tony Abbott.

First he must propose abolishing Christmas, so we can all avoid Christmas syndrome and speculation about leadership - and Hendo writing about Christmas and leadership and the outer suburbs for the squillionth time, in a way suggesting he never actually goes out into that world and meets its diversity of people and ideas, perhaps because the dragons are too frightening ...

And then how about this as a slogan:

Tony Abbott, the grinch who said no to Christmas, friend to Islamic fundamentalist thinking.
Tony Abbott, preferred by Muslims
Tony Abbott, at heart a traditional Muslim
Tony Abbott, at one with Chris Bowen, and fundamentalist Christians and Muslims ...

Oh they're winners, winners I tells ya ...

Meanwhile, the pond looks forward to the coming months, because since he's decided to stay, big Mal isn't going away.

And now Tony Abbott and Hendo are looking over their shoulders at the elephant in the room.

The pond has no cat in this fight (or dog or Australian cricketer), but what fun it is to watch.

Especially when it leads Hendo to explain how it's all the fault of Christmas, while joining with Muslims to celebrate their traditional beliefs

Pass the pond another Xmas cracker and a glass of that deviant bubbly ...

(Below: an old cartoon by John Shakespeare from April 2011, surprisingly still relevant. Oh wait a second, it's about The Easter Identity, The Easter Supremacy, The Easter Ultimatum,  or The Easter Legacy, generally known as The Easter Tetralogy (or Quadrilogy if you will). The source of endless leadership speculation, something in the ether or the tea leaves or the chocolate the Easter Bunny supplies, stronger than crack. Damn these Xian seasons, is there end to their baleful impact on the psyche?)