David Penberthy, easter, pagan traditions, a dash of dark chocolate and a taste of New Zelund ...

(Above: Kiwese: A guide, a ductionary, a shearing of unsights).

Clutching an ancient, battered copy of Alex Buzo's Kiwese, the pond is off to New Zelund.

The mission is supposedly top secret, but we can reveal that, acting on orders from the new state Liberal Government, we aim to sell the Sydney Harbour Bridge to the New Zelund government, as the centrepiece in a north-south island freeway link, thereby solving the NSW budgetary black hole and ending the tyranny of the Interislander all in one go ...

With a bit of luck, it will be a suxcessful wun wun mission. After zooming in on an earplane, preferably a sivven suxs sivven, I'm looking forward to some munce on toast, patting the odd pit, talking with some cuds, and selling the Brudge ...

Yes, there are at least suxty sux ways to make fun of Kiwis, rarely duffycult, and best done while eating chups and counting from sux to sivven ... But sssh, no sheep jokes please, or they might mention rugby union, as if anyone in the best areas of Australia care ...

Anyhoo, it means that pond business will cease for a few days, but as Easter's approaching, there's just time to brood over David Penberthy, once again, as he scribbles Say yes to Easter eggs but no to naughty corners.

In the usual way of people getting anxious over the war on Xmas, at the end of his piece Penberthy gets agitated about the war on Easter eggs:

The more disturbing PC element of the new guidelines is the squeamishness over cultural activities such as Easter. The idea that Easter Egg hunts should be banned for fear of offending kiddies from a non-Christian background is quite absurd.

Indeed. No harm in a little chocolate orgy, though it's a pity we've lost the taste for healthy dark chocolate and settled instead for compound crap. (not to worry, that's just 'inner urban elite' speak).

But as always there's a rub to the tale:

It’s one thing to say that childcare centres don’t have the right to compel all children to take part in such activities. It’s quite another to suggest that, in a country such as ours with Christian traditions, that these activities shouldn’t go ahead on the off-chance that someone is offended.

A Christian tradition?

Sigh. Here we go again. Ēostre is of course a pagan festival, often associated with a Germanic goddess of the same name, and the hare and bunny symbolism drags in the Norse goddess Freyja, and matters of spring fecundity and love and carnal pleasure ...

The egg as a fertility symbol goes back as far as the Zoroastrians and the Babylonians and the Jews, and as usual, it was the Xians who ripped everybody off and pretended that they'd invented the gig.

So yes let the little children hunt after easter eggs, but call it for what it is.

Training for chocolate-loving sensuality and paganism and carnality and fertility and fornicating and breeding like rabbits ...

Naturally there are any number of Christians concerned about this. Here's a taster:

The seductive symbols of ancient ungodly religions inspired by Satan have been incorporated into people's everyday lives, even to this day - continuing to obscure the truth of God .

One might wonder if there is a better way for Christians to celebrate Jesus Christ's resurrection, the most important of all Christian holy days. In retrospect, it seems obvious that it would have been a better witness to the world if Christians had not attempted to “Christianize” pagan celebrations - adopting the name “Easter” (Ishtar/Semiramis) in remembrance of Christ. Jesus has been obscured by painted eggs and bunnies. Attention has been shifted away from spiritual truth and toward materialism (clothing, products and candies with the wrong symbolism). Stores merchandise the name of Easter (not “Resurrection Sunday”) and sell goods that have nothing to do with Christ's death and resurrection. Christians naively use symbols and practices that unknowingly perpetuate ancient anti-Christ traditions - symbolic customs followed by the same religious cults that inspired the destruction of great numbers of Christians and Jews. Is the Devil laughing at us? (here).

Well yes, the Devil is probably laughing at you. The pond certainly is.

And there's plenty more out there:

Have you never even asked yourself why Easter is celebrated on a different date every year? I mean, if it commemorates the passion of Christ, wouldn’t it be on the same day each year? Not if it’s a calibration linked to the full moon which is what pagan ester is. Even the Jewish Passover has been done away with by what Christ did on the cross, so why are we even entertaining anything except breaking bread in remembrance of Christ? (here)

Indeed, indeed, children forget the chokkies, eat the bread and with a bit of luck you might become a human flesh eater.

There are any number more Xians on the full to overflowing tubes who understand Easter is a time for paganists and Satanists (oh okay, let's not exclude fellow travellers like the Jensenist nepotics and the Pellist heretics ...)

But relax, the devil is also laughing at David Penberthy for calling the easter egg hunt a Christian tradition ...

Sure and Santa Claus owes nothing to the pagan god Odin ...

The upside? Penberthy's off to hell for certain for urging little ones to participate in devil worship, and now for our sins, we've off to New Zelund ...

(Below: go pagans).