Celebrating Ēostre with the reptiles ...
It's been the pond's habit of late of surveying the reptile offerings before plunging in, but as a correspondent noted, the pond can get caught out by the reptiles trickily sneaking in a late offering, demonstrating just how aged the geriatric readership is, and just how quaint the continual attempt at the demonising ...
There's nothing to be said about that, except perhaps ... long live agrarian socialist head prefect Mal Fraser, imbued with the spirit of Goughism ...
With that caveat about tricky reptiles, this was what was on offer early this morning in the weekend edition at the top of the digital page...
With a shudder the pond realised that a couple of dicks had taken over the highly desired far right position, but knew the pond would eventually have to go there ...
But at least that meant the pond wouldn't have to bother with Dame Slap, still mercilessly blathering on about the Lehrmann matter, in a way that is now way beyond parody and can live beyond the pond's ken on Planet Janet above the faraway tree.
There was "Ned" too, having a go at vulgar youff, but the pond thought it could palm that off until the morrow.
Was there anything lurking below the fold that could delay the moment the pond had to encounter the two dicks?
Huzzah, the bromancer had gone deeply weird. This often happens at significant times, such as Ēostre or when the bro starts listening to old pop music or perhaps goes off his meds...
It meant the pond could safely defer Polonius to his preferred meditative spot Sunday, not worry about nuking the country to save the planet with genie Jennie, ignore the oscillating fan in the usual way, and forget about Brendan's gigantic moral chasm when it comes to an ongoing genocide ...
Without further ado, the bro has the floor ... and fair warning, this is a biggie, taking an incredibly long time to plough through, which is why the pond has had to shrink some delectable snaps ...
The pond isn't going to whine about being served leftover stock photo images, the abandoned lizard Oz graphics department left the building long ago, and only the drear sand of banality is left ...
Now let's get down with it, featuring a strong early burst of deeply weird paranoia and persecution complex ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, the persecution and paranoia is at ancient Roman empire levels, and never mind, pace Gibbon, the way the Xians ruined Rome (and the Pope stole all the marble to make a grand tourist attraction).
Speaking of the illustrations, the reptiles then offered this quaint juxtaposition ...
How did the boss get into the conversation? Hasn't he copped out with "agnostic" or is the bro running with the old notion that you can take the tyke out of the person, but you can't remove the tyke entirely?
That's all too deep for the pond, on with the next gobbet and the paranoia...
They no longer go to church? Must be the guvmint ...
Sorry, the pond had to slip that one in, what with all the conspiracy theories now a daily thing, but also because the reptiles slipped in a snap of a man in a frock ...
Huzzah for frock wearing ... huzzah for frock devotees ... huzzah for the bro ...
Indeed, indeed ... and it turned out that the Inquistion was a celebration of peace and love, and as for the Crusades, why they were just spreading the good word ... and those two world wars? Testament to a disdain of savagery ...
But the pond doesn't want to interrupt the bro flow, because the bro is on a roll ... and there's some truth to what he says.
After all, when the pond first was exposed to Xianity, Pope Joan was head of the church, and Paul had been refuted for his shameful remarks ...
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.
And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
That's why the challenge is to read the first lines in the next gobbet with a straight face, without bursting into laughter while remembering all the women who've enjoyed top jobs in the Catholic church ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, isn't it bad enough that Martin Scorsese in his senility is working for Fox, as reported in Rolling Stone, Martin Scorsese to Spearhead Doc Series on Xian Saints for Fox Nation ...(if the paywall gets in the way, you can read about it in the Graudian, Martin Scorsese to host and produce religious docuseries for Fox News).
The pond doesn't mind the saints - whatever St Christopher medal drives your EV - so much as the Fox thngie ... for verily if you lie down with foxes, you will pick up some pretty weird fleas ... and at this point, the reptiles flung in another snap ...
Speaking of the faithful, the pond was reminded of the hungry heart that was flogging public domain material at sixty (very poetry inspiring) bucks ...
Then came a spectacular form of Xian condescension, all the more spectacular because of the Xian habit of ripping off the Romans and pretending it had been part of their religion all along. Saturnalia turned into Xmas being a pond favourite ... (though to be fair the Xians managed to rip off all sorts of customs and beliefs from all sorts of people in a range of countries, you know Ēostre bunnies and other fertility symbols and Ēostre eggs and Xmas pine trees and ... add your own favourite) ...
Ya gotta laugh. That universalism was on proud display at the top of the "build the wall and make Mexico pay for it" digital edition ...
Time to chamber another bullet for the fear-mongering? Nah, on with the bro, happily delusional ...
Original sin? So the wicked, the grifters and the sharks and the con artists will be punished? Not likely ...
Sorry, the pond slipped in that cartoon because the reptiles had slipped in another snap of a man wearing a frock ...
... but there's only so many times the pond can celebrate frock wearers wearing frocks, while wondering why some people get agitated about a little cross-dressing ...
At this point the pond realises some will have become comatose, but there isn't long to go ...
The boss a fellow Xian? Just to prove the pond spends way too much time on the full to overflowing intertubes, why not sample
Bruce Springsteen - No Friend of God. It's almost as weird as the bro, and that's saying something ...
The bit that APPEALED to the pond ran this way ...
Springsteen is a big supporter of sinful homosexual (gay) rights. In 2012, he lent his support to an ad campaign for gay marriage called “The Four 2012.” Springsteen noted in the ad, “I couldn't agree more with that statement and urge those who support equal treatment for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to let their voices be heard now.” The Bible plainly warns in our text verse that friendship with the world is enmity with God. We all have to choose one or the other, there is NO MIDDLE GROUND. The Bible plainly teaches in Romans chapter one that the homosexual lifestyle is part of a progressive downward spiral into Hell and eternal damnation. Springsteen is a left-wing, liberal, Democrat, having voted for both Senator's John Kerry and Barack Obama for the U.S. Presidency. No one can vote for wickedness and be right with God.
Good old universalist, caring and sharing Xians ... and then came a snap of an ancient, and eek, he too seemed to be wearing a frock ...
Then it was finally done, the last gobbet had arrived ...
Um, doesn't the rising happen tomorrow? And where did he rise to? Why is he still the long absent lord? Isn't a couple of thousand years waiting for the dough to rise long enough to make a decent hot X bun?\
Yes, yes, the pond is aware of the rumour that those bloody buns came from Saxons celebrating Ēostre. Allegedly the cross represented the rebirth of the world after winter and the four quarters of the moon, as well as the four seasons and the wheel of life. (here)
Bloody pagans, always ruining everything ...
Never mind, the pond realises that many will have dropped off during the sermon, but the pond must continue, as promised, with the two dicks ... nuking the country to save the planet, so that the pond didn't have to waste time with Jenny ...
Um, actually the other Dick was a hustler and a grifter, and at one point, the sort of scoundrel who resorted to patriotism for his grift ...
Grifters gotta grift ... and then two dicks go into a bar to save the planet, though one happens to be a climate science denialist with a long history of denouncing the science and denying renewables (we're talking a lot more than a cock crowing thrice) ...
On with the nuking ...
Two dicks together on the one show doing the current dick thing ...
So when dicks get together, SMRs are probably just around the corner to nuke the country and save the planet, and if not, you can just rage about the ABC ...
What happened to the angry old uncle from Adelaide who used to rail about climate science? You know, this one huzzah,
Adelaide Now,
saved to Trove from 2008 ...
Those were the good old days, straighfforward dinkum climate science denialism, suddenly and weirdly transmuted into a desire to save the planet by nuking the country, even though apparently there's no link between human activities and/or carbon emissions and climate change ...
What happened to the mad uncle or grandpa routine?
Well you can't expect a couple of dicks to chew over the old days endlessly ... and with that there were just two gobbets of spotted dick to go ...
Yep, it's time to put the u back into uranium ...
What's the clue that nothing has changed? The talk of zealots from a man who exudes zealotry ... and has done so for decades ...
At this point the pond would usually end with a pertinent cartoon, perhaps even recycling a relevant Wilcox ...
... but the pond wanted to end on an up absurdist Ēostre note and noted this 'toon in The New Yorker.
In some weird way it seemed to evoke the spirit of living with reptiles, or at least the secret life of reptiles...
Back in olden times, newspapers would often mark Easter or Xmas by running an article / sermon by a reasonably well-known clergyman; I think the Sydney Morning Herald for many years used some bloke called the Rev. Alan Walker. The results were invariably long, pompous, smug and deadly dull, full of pious comforting homilies and cliches, and instantly forgettable. In other words, rather like attending the relevant church service, composed and delivered by a competent professional doing his job of producing a puff piece of propaganda.
ReplyDeleteThese days, however, we’re stuck with the likes of the Bromancer and the Carroller - rank amateur fanatics working out some thwarted youthful ambition to be a man of the cloth. Rather than just compiling a checklist of the usual guff, they desperately seek to impress on us that they really, truly, _believe_, that everything good that’s occurred in the last couple of millennia is due to Christianity and that the institution has behaved perfectly throughout that time (other than a vague unspecified reference “some mistakes”).
The results are at least batshit entertaining, but I can’t help but wish the authors could work off their wannabe yearnings by becoming deacons, or at least being those blokes in charge of passing the plate around each Sunday (assuming they still do that).
BTW, Bro, Romans weren’t “required to worship the Emperor as a god”; although quite a number were deified after they died. Religious and Civic life were indeed intermingled in The Empire, which is why the refusal by Christians and Jews to observe basic public religious rites made them politically suspect; authorities were content to allow a wide variety of other religious faiths which observed what appeared to be simple courtesies.
While it’s true that the exposure of infants was practiced, this was widespread - including amongst the Hebrews. In Rome, children were often deposited at specific points, allowing them to then be rescued by those wanting a child, or for less savoury used (eg, slavery / prostitution). I’m not sure where the Bro gets the bit about this being a common practice amongst noble families; it appears to have been most common amongst the poor - particularly because of the costs of female dowries - or in cases where babies appeared weak, deformed or unlikely to survive. Still, what’s historical accuracy when you have a legend to burnish, eh?
Oops- I’m being as long-winded today as the Bromancer himself.
But there's so much of the Bromancer that calls for refudiation and correction though, Anony, that it's hard to know just where and when to stop.
Delete"Let your women keep silence in the churches...". Well at least they let women into the churches to sit alongside their men, which I'm given to understand was a strong appeal of the Christians. Some religions, even major ones claiming to believe in Jesus (the 'vice captain' to Muhammad, but also very holy) still don't.
ReplyDeleteBased on todays scribbles the Bromancer should apply for a late entry in the current Melbourne Comedy Festival. Most of the audience would be rolling on the floor laughing.
ReplyDeleteSeven producer was in a 'drunken daze' when he booked Thai masseuses? I doubt it.
ReplyDeleteHow about coked off his scone?
Doggy Bov: "Australia's GDP per capita is about eight times higher than Albania's ... 10 times higher than Paraguay's, 20 times Bhutan's and about 50 times higher than Nepal's". Ok, so without a single word, Bovverer has corrected Cater's appalling ballsup about relative economies. Just as well nobody was fact checking him.
ReplyDeleteAnd then: "...there is no way to efficiently and affordably store sufficient electricity for long enough to underpin a renewables-only system". Oh yes there is: 'green' hydrogen that burns just as brightly as fossil fuel gas but releases no CO2 and doesn't require mining or fracking. A technology in which Australia is working at becoming a world leader because the technology exists, but it has to scaled up and implemented at full industrial size.
Has Dicky Smith ever heard of 'green' hydrogen, do you think ? Does he know just how much of daily solar energy currently goes to waste because of over contribution by rooftop installations. And just how many homes nowadays with solar+battery are completely self-sufficient and essentially off-grid ?
Is there any evidence, other than three of the four Gospellers, of the Resurrection? Asking for a friend.
ReplyDeleteIt depends on what one calls evidence, Joe. If you mean is there enough evidence for the existence of Jesus as for, say, the existence of Julius Caesar, then no, not even faintly. That doesn't stop the likes of the Bromancer claiming that what he, and many others, want to believe is incontrovertibly true.
DeleteBut then, there wasn't a rollback of the Red Sea for a bunch of factually non-existent 'Jewish' slaves either. There's a whole lot of lies, imaginings and nonsense in the 'Old Testament'. The walls of Jericho (which happens to be the oldest walled city in the world) weren't brought down by Joshua, either.
But you and/or your friend can read the wikipedia entry:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historicity_of_Jesus
which claims that "today scholars agree that a Jewish man called Jesus of Nazareth did exist in the Herodian Kingdom of Judea and the subsequent Herodian tetrarchy in the 1st century CE, upon whose life and teachings Christianity was later constructed".
Well there was probably quite a few "Jewish men" named Jesus, it a popular name at various times. But as for his "teachings", well if you can find any reference to them and their contents, then good luck to you.
GB. Thank you One of my children had an imaginary friend for a while but it disappeared as grew older. What I would draw attention to is the reference to Gough Whitlam by Shanahan who by the way is not even worth the dirt under Whitlams finger nails. Whitlam was not contrilled by Murdoch so they might have a look at some of the failures around this time Like Mcmahon, Sneddon but that would be much for one track mind as it would not suit their agenda in being the propaganda arm of the liberal party.
DeleteThe Bromancer is of course entitled to believe whatever he wishes. Presenting those beliefs as incontrovertible truths historical fact is another matter entirely.
DeleteScience fiction readers of a certain age may recall a short Michael Moorcock novel from the late 1960s, “Behold the Man”. A time traveller learns that there is indeed a historical Jesus - of sorts……
And if you want to know just how easy it is to become a messiah (aka 'anointed one' in Hebrew), you can look up the life of Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson:
Deletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menachem_Mendel_Schneerson
He didn't even have to create a time machine.
There are apparently people still waiting for Schneerson to be resurrected and take his place as a modern Jesus Christos (which is from the Greek and means 'anointed one').
Now here's something we do have some genuine evidence for:
Deletehttps://www.theguardian.com/science/2024/mar/30/scientists-link-elusive-human-group-to-150000-year-old-chinese-dragon-man
How does that compare with the stories told in the Old Testament ?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronospecies
Deletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_erectus#Taxonomy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_heidelbergensis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_ergaster
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human#Etymology_and_definition
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterarchy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mu_(negative)#Mu-k%C5%8Dan
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_longi#Paleoenvironment
Deletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephilim#Fossil_remains_of_giants
Over the decades, Smith has happily given the impression that he’s an all-round expert in various disciplines simply by having some peripheral interest or involvement and talking a lot, very publicly. Found a nature magazine and associated chain of shops and you’re an expert on the environment. Hold a private helicopter pilot’s licence and you’re an expert on all aspects of civil aviation administration (and you can browbeat successive governments into giving you a senior regulatory role, until you fall out with them). Build a successful business selling bits and kits of basic electronics hardware and decades after selling it, you can be considered a technology genius and expert in energy provision - at least by the gullible and credulous of the Dog Botherer sort.
ReplyDeleteI see that 'Dick Smith Stores' has been resurrected:
Deletehttps://www.dicksmith.com.au/da
The weirdly-sophisticated ethics of just-warmongering as an Easter remembrance, no doubt, are a wickedly-good anaesthetic for an End Times' final Final Solution. Then, again, what perfectly-imperfect Roman Catholic doesn't welcome the Return of Christ, and Judgement Day: just not yet.
ReplyDelete